Doesticks: What He Says, Том 2

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Rudd & Carleton, 1857 - Всего страниц: 330
 

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Стр. 86 - And the effect upon the inhabitants hereabout has been so wonderful that they have opened their eyes to the good of the country, and are determined to vote for a Governor who is opposed to frosts in the middle of June, and whc will make a positive law against freshets, hail-storms and the seventeen -year locusts.
Стр. 31 - I did not go straight he'd take me to the watchman — tried to oblige the station-house, very civil station-house, very — met a baby with an Irish woman and a wheelbarrow in it ; couldn't get out of the way ; she wouldn't walk on the sidewalk, but insisted on going on both sides of the street at once ; tried to walk between her ; consequence collision, awful, knocked out the wheelbarrow's nose, broke the Irish woman all to pieces, baby loose, court-house handy, took me to the constable, jury sat...
Стр. 132 - I determined to give something more, and being so far cityfied in my habits that I desired to combine amusement with charity, and only give my money to the needy after I had received its worth in dancing, got its full value in foreign music at a high price, or eaten its equivalent in oysters and ice-cream at some kind of a pseudo-charitable gathering, I looked about me for some fitting opportunity to bestow my charity on the deserving poor, after making it previously pay for some delectation for...
Стр. 29 - I then proceeded to drink a glass of beer ; went over to the States, where I procured a glass of beer — went up-stairs, for which I paid a sixpence ; over to Goat Island, for which I disbursed twenty-five cents ; hired a guide, to whom I paid half a dollar — sneezed four times, at nine cents a sneeze...
Стр. 86 - DEAR SIR: The land composing my farm has hitherto been so poor that a Scotchman couldn't get his living off it; and so stony that we had to slice our potatoes and plant them edgeways; but, hearing of your balsam, I put some on the corner of a ten-acre lot, surrounded by a rail-fence, and in the morning I found the rocks had entirely disappeared— a neat stone wall encircled the field, and the rails were split into ovenwood and piled up symmetrically in my back yard. Put half an ounce into the middle...
Стр. 31 - ... into an eating-house, called for a plate of beans, when the plate brought the waiter in his hand. I took it, hung up my beef and beans on a nail, eat my hat...
Стр. 26 - Indian curiosities, squaws, moccasins, stuffed snakes, rapids, wolves, Clifton House, suspension bridge, place where the water runs swift, the ladies faint, scream and get the paint washed off their faces ; where the aristocratic Indian ladies sit on the dirt and make little bags ; where all the inhabitants swindle strangers ; where the cars go in a hurry, the waiters are impudent and all the small boys swear. When I came in sight of the suspension bridge, I was vividly impressed with the idea that...
Стр. 30 - ... place below was one sea of beer — was going to jump down and get some ; guide held me ; sent him over to the hotel to get a glass of beer, while I tried to write some poetry — result as follows : Oh thou (spray in one eye) awful, (small lobster in one shoe,) sublime (both feet wet) master-piece of...
Стр. 126 - Hundred ^ right put in all sorts of fantastic extras, to entice the left from its sense of propriety ; left still unmoved ; right put in a few bars of a popular waltz ; left wavers a little ; right strikes up a favorite polka ; left evidently yielding ; right dashes into a jig ; left now fairly deserts...

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