Foig. Yes, fait, honey, that I did owe to him. Arch. Rot the money! my wench is gone. my Sir C. This good company meets opportunely in favour of a design I have in behalf of unfortunate sister: I intend to part her from her husband. Gentlemen, will you assist me? Arch. Assist you!-'Sdeath! who would not? Enter SULLEN. Sul. What's all this?They tell me, spouse, that you had like to have been robbed. Mrs. Sul. Truly, spouse, I was pretty near it-had not these two gentlemen interposed Sul. How came these gentlemen here? Mrs. Sul. That's his way of returning thanks, you must know. Foig. Ay, but upon my conshience, de question be apropos, for all dat. Sir C. You promised, last night, sir, that you would deliver your lady to me this morning. Sul. Humph! Arch. Humph! what do you mean by humph ?Sir, you shall deliver herIn short, sir, we have saved you and your family, and if you are not civil, we'll unbind the rogues, join with them, and set fire to your house. What does the man mean? Not part with his wife? Foig. Arra, not part wid your wife! Upon my shoul, de man dosh not understand common shivility. Let Mrs. Sul. Hold, gentlemen, all things here must move by consent: compulsion would spoil us. my dear and I talk the matter over, and you shall judge it between us. Sul, Let me know, first, who are to be our judges. -Pray, sir, who are you? Sir C. I am Sir Charles Freeman, come to take away your wife. Sul. And you, good sir? Aim. Thomas, Viscount Aimwell, come to take away your sister. Sul. And you, pray, sir? Arch. Francis Archer, Esq. come→→ Sul. To take away my mother, I hope.-Gentlemen, you are heartily welcome: I never met with three more obliging people since I was born. And now, my dear, if you please, you shall have the first word. Arch. And the last, for five pounds. Mrs. Sul. Spouse. Sul. Rib. [Aside. Mrs. Sul. How long have you been married? Sul. By the almanack, fourteen months-but, by my account, fourteen years. Mrs. Sul. 'Tis thereabout, by my reckoning. agree. Sir C. What are the bars to your mutual contentment? Mrs. Sul. In the first place, I can't drink ale with him. in? Sul. Nor can I drink tea with her. Sul. Your prating is worse. Mrs. Sul. Is there, on earth, a thing we can agree Sul. Your hand. Mrs. Sul. Here. Sul. These hands joined us; these shall part usAway! Mrs. Sul. East. Sul. West. Mrs. Sul. North. Sul. South: as far as the poles asunder. Foig. Upon my shoul, a very pretty sheremony! Sir C. Now, Mr. Sullen, there wants only my sister's fortune to make us easy. Sul. Sir Charles, you love your sister, and I love her fortune; every one to his fancy. Arch. Then you won't refund? Arch. What is her portion? Sir C. Ten thousand pounds, sir. Arch. I'll pay it: my lord, I thank him, has enabled me; and, if the lady pleases, she shall go home with me. This night's adventure has proved strangely lucky to us all-For Captain Gibbet, in his walk, has made bold, Mr. Sullen, with your study and scrutoire, and has taken out all the writings of your estate, all the articles of marriage with your lady, bills, bonds, leases, receipts, to an infinite value; I took them from him, and will deliver them to Sir Charles. Sul. How! my writings! my head aches consumedly. -Well, gentlemen, you shall have her fortune, but I can't talk. If you have a mind, Sir Charles, to be merry, and celebrate my sister's wedding and my divorce, you may command my house. But my head aches consumedly;-crub, bring me a dram. Foig. And put a sup in the top for myself, [Exeunt FOIGARD and SULLEN. Arch. "Twould be hard to guess which of these parties is the better pleased, the couple joined, or the couple parted; the one rejoicing in hopes of an untasted hap piness, and the other in their deliverance from an experienced misery. Both happy in their several states, we find : [Exeunt Omnes. THE END. |
