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interested, and willingly would I mest work-house in all Norfolk, and gratify him in that, and indeed eve this leg o' moine,” rubbing his shin ry other particular; but, to use a par- and grinning most piteously, gets liamentary phrase, the time is not yet worser and worser every day, blessed come, and he must therefore content be Goad for all his mercies." himself, for the present, with a very fellow,” said I," it grieves me to see small portion of information, to wit, you trudging after a team, with such On my return to Norfolk, a few years an unseemly leg,” for it was much thereafter, in order to make good my swollen, and affected his walking vows unto her who is the mother of very considerably; “I think Mr my children, I called at Mrs Tal- Naggle would have manifested his bot's house, and was informed by loving-kindness in a more Christian the incumbent, a cross-grained old manner, had he kept you at home, dame, whom an over-kind husband picking potatoes in his barn, or shelhad indulged with a separate estab- ling peas in his kitchen. Much do I lishment, that, on or about the pre- fear, my friend, that this Gaffer of ceding Whitsuntide, the widow dis- yours is no great things. posed of her life-interest in what sesseth either a soft head or a hard little landed property appertained to heart-perhaps both. What sort of her late husband, and departed, no a blade is he?' “ Gaffer Naggle's a one knew where.
broath of a boy," quoth the wagHaving thus far acquitted myself goner, “ and his woife's the idol of to the reader's satisfaction, I hum owld and young. T'other day she bly hope that he will not oppose my said to I'se dame, 'Goody Snaffle, taking the road in good earnest, ac- thee's a hard-woarking, industerous companied by Mrs Talbot's best woman, and deserves encouragement. wishes. The sudden and very un See if I doan't speak a goodish word ceremonious manner in which Aber- to Farmer Bluff, the parish overseer, shaw and his colleague fell upon me, for another shilling a-week to fatten together with the receipt for dusting thy pot.' Blessings on her, for she's their jackets, which I certainly ex a koind, koind body, and owld Gafpected, had they returned with a re fer himsen said to I, no further inforcement, induced me to keep a agone than yesterday, ' That leg o' sharp look-out, and reconnoitre eve- thine, Joe, looks 'nation queer. If ry passenger with a jealous eye; but thee's a good boy, and minds thy p's not one individual did I fall in with, and q's, blame if I doan't have a try capable of disputing my right of at laying thy bones on the shelf, thee path-way for one moment, had he knows where. Aye, aye, there's been so disposed ; all of them appear worser fellows than owld Gaffer ed submissively docile, passive to a Naggle, though he swears mainly and man, and thoroughly broken to the hits hardish at toimes; but this I can yoke of servitude. I came up to a safely say, betoide him what wou'd, waggoner, whose obsequious mien he never flogged I aboon once a-week and debased conversation affected in his loife, and that's a tale that me much. “ Countryman,” said I, neither man nor moather * on the “ where, in the name of wonder, are farm can tell." “ Hits hardish and you travelling to with such a load of flogs once a-week! Good God !” exthingum-thangums, nick-nacks, and claimed 1, " why don't you take the whirligigs?” « Whoy, measter," re fellow before a Justice of the Peace, plied the rustic, “ 'l'se baund to and have him punished?” “ Nay, Kaistle-Roising, please Goad, with nay, measter,” replied poor Joey,"we Gaffer Naggle's thrashing mousheen. know a trick worth two o'that. JousLabouring folk, now
W-a-days, have tice o' Peace wou'd send us to the little or nowt to do and they'll have tread-mill for being saucy.” The less by-and-by, when nick-nacks, as waggoner and I conversed in this thee calls them, rumble in every barn,
manner without interruption, until a Owld Gaffer says, they'll supersede young fellow, who stood at the door the flail soumtoime, but that mat of a little road-side ale-house, appaters nowt. We've gotten the proi- rently on the look out for a compa
. Moather, i. e. girl, wench, spinster, &c.
nion, persuaded him to halt his team me altogether inevitable ; but, in the and enjoy himself, in some such words midst of their cavilling, a voice, like as these: “ Coum, coum, Joey lad, unto that of many waters, thundered hang on thee nose-bags, and join í in their ears, “ You fellor at the for hoalf-a-point. It's a poor heart Dun Cow, come along.” By gowls," that never rejoices." I thought so exclaimed Joey, starting to his feet, too, and ordered each of them a pot“ that's l’se measter !” and without of home-brewed, cheese and bread, so much as casting a thanksgiving and a pipe ; for which the poor fel- glance to the parlour window, he lows were truly thankful, and failed hobbled off as fast as his lame leg not to drink my health most devout- would permit, removed his nose-bags, ly. Having thus far contributed to and took the road, whistling a ruetheir enjoyments, I retired to a small ful tune. Anxious to witness the parlour, that commanded the road, meeting between him and old Gaffer, and sat down, being somewhat fa- I settled with Mrs Yeasty, and took tigued, and lacking a little refresh- my departure also. The Castle of ment. The landlady's mutton-ham Rising, wherein Isabella, the wretchwas truly excellent, and her October ed consort of our unhappy Edward, equal to any I ever tasted; so that of Bannockburn celebrity, ended her between eating and drinking, and days, stands on elevated ground, and listening to the conversation of my commands a fine view of the adjacent out-door friends, the most agreeable country. Though much dilapidated half-hour slipt away that I ever by time, and fast crumbling into deforgathered with. The waggoner cay, a sufficiency remains to convince questioned his companion, who be- the traveller, that, in ancient times, it longed to a neighbouring parish, (the was a strong-hold of some consewhich information I gathered from quence. The Borough of Rising hath their discourse,) how he fared in his shared its fate, being reduced to a mean, new situation to which the other re- straggling village, famed for nothing plied, with much naiveté, “ Tol lol, in God's earth save its antiquity, Joey, pretty bobbish. We've plenty and the absurd privilege which it stili o'good owld Suffolk whang *, mash'd retains, of sending two Burgesses to turmets, and croak mutton, every Parliament. On approaching this third day. But I'se baund to have queen of enfranchised sepulcbres, I foive and noinpence a-week, and descried two men, one of them in foind mysen,-thrappence moar, thee livery, the other a paunchy old felknows, than some folk can brag on.” low in plain clothes, standing on the “What some folk dost mean?” castle-bill, apparently on very friendquoth the waggoner, lifting up his ly terms; but when Joey's waggon voice, “ I'd have thee to know, Dick, drew near, he in homely apparel that I'se foive and six, with pigs keep shook hands with the gravy lopper, and parquisites, is better than thee's bowed most respectfully unto him, foive and noine, with nowt else in and leisurely waddled down a little God's world besoide ; and then, when zig-zag foot-way leading to the highowld age overtakes us boath, what a road. As he advanced, I took the li. poor look-outthee hastgotten! Whoy, berty of examining his countenance, Dicky Poychle, l'se workhouse is a which certainly was a curiosity of the palace, and thine's a pig-stye.” Dick kind. Features inay be compared to felt rather nettled at Joey's degrading pumps and slippers on a cordwainer's comparison, and audibly upheld the sign-board, because they usually tell, honour of his parish asylum with and pretty correctly too, what sort of fluency, whilst the waggoner strove wares the proprietor has treasured with all his might to pull it down ; up in his store-house ; but Gaffer and so furiously did they assail each Naggle, on whose face I am now enother, in the long-run, with evil lan. larging, presented to me the most guage, that hostilities appeared unto vacant front that ever mortal man
Suffolk whang, a kind of cheese spoken of by Bloomfield, in his “ Farmer's Boy," on account of its durability. When thrown into a hog's trough, saith our intelligent author, the sapient grunters presently discover that it is “ too large to swallow, and too hard to bite,"
clapt eyes on. Not a single hiero- a present of when he got home his glyphic was pencilled thereon to tell new chronometer, previous to his an inquisitive fellow, like myself, embarking for India,) “and whatwhether the owner was saint, sin- ever blame may have accumulated ner, Turk, or Christian. However, during that period, the whole buron gaining the turnpike road, he then thereof must be laid on my hoisted his colours, such as they shoulders,” presenting them to Gafwere, and presently the aforesaid fer with great humility of aspect, visage, that whilom appeared so de “ because it was I that tempted your void of character, became like unto a servant to sin with a mug of ale." thunder-cloud pregnant with wrath, He surveyed me from top to toe or, more properly speaking, that pe- without uttering a word, until his culiar species of ire that undulates face became a perfect blank, and the front of an over-fed ox when every evil-disposed feature sculked about to gore a field-mouse. With- off, the Lord' knows where; then out saying one word, good, bad, or in- Gaffer Naggle clapt his hand on my different, Gaffer Naggle seized Joey shoulder, and said, “ Dang it, thee's by the collar, and lashed him like à a rumish-looking chap, and wears an brute. Let no man elevate his nose, owld head on young shoulders pretty and say with a sneer, “ Pray what fairish. Step into the Grey Mare, was become of your famous' hazel, and call for what thee loikes best ; Mr Doby, that had broken more all good fellows are welcome on elecheads than ever a stick in the whole tion-day, and I've done a worser turn, county of Norfolk? Had I been in Joan's parlour, than smoaked half there, the waggoner's hide would a pipe at thee's lug. Here, Joe," hase gone scot free." Very likely, slipping a few halfpence into the my good sir; but it so happened, that waggoner's hand, “go and sin no Gaffer fell upon him very suddenly, moar. Tell Nan Pomeroy, as thee and plied his flogger with such dexe goas past the Mare, to be sure and terity, that before I had scampered put on her best bib and tucker, beover my lee-way, (some ten or a cause I and Mr Jerry, and a few dozen strides) the poor devil was friends, will be there by-and-by." To on his knees, crying for quarter. my very great surprise, Joey pocketed “Hold, my good man!” said I, arrest- the largess with abundance of thank-' ing the assailant's uplifted arm;“one ful scrapes, and hopped away as merwhack more will ruin you in my ry as a maltman. Thus, by means of good opinion for ever and ever, un- fair words, together with a judicious less the culprit is a sinner of the first display of my gold repeater and its magnitude. What parish church appendages, was I enabled to deliver hath he robbed, or what parish priest him from the enemy without strik, hath he slain ?” “ Parish church and ing a blow. By the bye, I would parish priest !” growled the farmer; advise no gentleinan traveller, when
what devil dost mean? the fellor perambulating the county of Nordeserves his whacks, though he never folk, to put his argumentative forces robbed a church nor slew a priest in's in array against those of the natives, loife. Han't he been guzzling at unless he hath a pair of silver-mountthe Dun Cow for an hour and moare, ed spectacles ready to pop on his nose, in place o fetching whome l’sé a gold chain and seals to play with, thrashing mousheen. Devil thrash or a few sovereigns to jink loosely in him for ligging so loang. Only see his hand, because the most substanhow the two randigo * millwrights tial reason he can possibly muster laugh i' their sleeves at having nowt will avail hiin not, unless they are to do-dom them.” “ Softly, my backed out by at least the appeargood friend," quoth I ;“not so fast; ance of property. When the wagthe poor soul rested his lame leg just goner left us, I proceeded to thank thirty minutes and a quarter, by this Mr Naggle, in my very best language, time-piece," (lugging out the gold for his proffered kindness, and declarrepeater that uncle Hubert made me ed how sorry I was that business of
* Randigo, i. e. renegado. The machinists in question were from Dumfries-shire, and consequently merited the appellation, all interlopers being randigos.
the utmost importance called me to shoes, laced tight to their ancles, and Lynn without delay, otherwise I cer- soundly bottomed with hob-nails. tainly would have done myself the “ Friend,” said I to one of the elechonour of taking a whiff with him ; tors, for such I took them to be, “ because," said I, “the gentleman “ whereabouts is the Grey Mare?” whom a good and faithful servant To which the fellow replied, with speaks so very handsomely of, is much simplicity, “ Whoy, she's at worth being honoured ; and never did whome, to be sure-doan't thee hear a waggoner in this world extol an in- her?” I listened for a moment or so, dulgent mastermore highly than the and distinguished, amongst the hubpoor fellow whom you have just now bub of tongues, that of a female dismissed from your presence, and speechifier lecturing away at the folsent on his way rejoicing." Gaffer lowing rate" Devil ride a-begging was so exceedingly pleased with the on that jolter-head oʻthine, Tim sprinkling of whitewash, that I felt Pomeroy, and coum whome without some difficulty in persuading him to a nag. What hast thee been doing? dispense with my presence at the burnt the bottom out o' our good new Grey Mare Tavern ; and so perfect- sauce-pan, as I'm a sinful woman, ly reconciled was he to Joey Snaf- and chopped up sage and rue with fle, in whose behalf I interested my- the veal stuffing. Gads-flesh, Mr self not a little, that I have every Jerry wont look at it. Get out o' my reason to believe the old fellow would sight this precious moment, thou set about procuring him a birth in graceless good-for-nowt. Lay a few the parish workhouse without de- parsley sprigs about the venison dish, lay, the consummation of every la- Poll Blowse, and wipe off thee's vile bouring man's earthly ambition in thumb marks. O thou slovenly slut ! those parts.
What would Mr Jerry say of my Castle-Rising, as the reader well house and my housewifery, was he to knoweth, is a decayed Borough, see such untidiness ? Where's that chiefly inhabited by husbandmen, lazy lump o' fiesh, Kate Gaffle, run whose dwellings make but a so-and- to? O, here she coums with the coalso appearance; and as there is nei- scuttle. Throw a shovelful under the ther Cross, Court-house, nor public pot, huzzy, and give Gaffer Naggle's edifice of any description whatever, hard dumplings a good rattling boil. to arrest the traveller's attention, Í Devil choak him with the hindmost, passed along at a smart pace, looking say I, for treating the electors like out for the Grey Mare, in order to spaniel dogs. They've never sat down treat my eyes with a squint at the to a full trencher dinner, since the election-bustle, which I fully expect squire farmed them out to old Gaffer ed to behold. How far they were gra at eighteen-pence a-head, beer and tified, will appear in due time. A lit- 'bacco included. Curse his monopotle way on, I descried a sign-board lizing sides !” To this internal hurswinging at the end of an antique- ricane, a still, small voice replied, in looking house, from a clumsy pole the most submissive tone I ever lisprojecting through the thatch, and
Blessings on thee, Joan, naturally concluded that the Mare doan't fret, and stew, and
rampage so was in sight; but, on my nearer mainly. Doan't thee see how eydentapproach, lo and behold it was the ly the moathers and I are doing, and Black Bull! On a wooden bench by scheming, and contriving for the best? the door sat a parcel of clean-sha- Have a little patience, and I'll be ven rustics, robed in white smock- bound to say, that—"" Howld thees frocks, each with a mug of ale in his chatter, Tim Pomeroy,” replied the hand, a pipe in his cheek, and a blue lecturer, “ and nobody will know favour pinned to the crown of his that thee's a ninny. Rot that whimhat. Their latter ends were cased pering tongue o' thine, thou poor acin sheepskin breeches, their legs in tionless musk-worm.” “ Ho, ho !” buskins of the same material, and said I to myself ; their feet might have vied with the better horse, it seems;" and feelthose of a fulling mill, being ten- ing inclined to see the heroine in her anted, if I may so express myself
, glory, I slipt into the Black Bull, into leather blocks, fashioned like and certainly beheld a landlady al
together worthy of ruling the roast, that comely cheek o' thine, thee and and a landlord richly deserving of I will certainly quarrel.” She clapt every blessing that Christian men can the fairest finger to her nose that ever possibly enjoy under petticoat go wore a ring, curtseyed most gracevernment. Having satisfied my cu- fully, and retired from the bar. riosity, in so far as Mr and Mrs “Would to Heaven," said I, elevaPomeroy were concerned, their daugh- ting my voice as the bewitching girl ter, Nan, who presided at the bar, tript away, “ that every Parliament cast a couple of glances from beneath man was returned by the like fair her silken eye-lashes, that were alto- means !" gether irresistible. I therefore stept Nancy Pomeroy hath dwelt in my up to her, and said, “Well, my dear, remembrance ever since, notwiththis bustling day will try the mettle standing the great pains taken by her of thy fair fingers, and put every maiden aunts, Moather Blanch and morsel of good-humour in that sweet Mouther Deborah, to shangan, as face to the test; but let not the the Scotch term it, an elegant person flurry of business banish a smile with falderal finery ; and many a therefrom, and keep every little irri- time, when presiding at our parish table sproutling snugly under the dinners, have I arisen from the chair, thumb of female discretion; that's being called upon for a toast, and the way to get married, and skip audibly given, " The fair bar-maid, through life. Pray, Miss Pomeroy, that sent two members to the Nether who may the two gentlemen be whom House !" On these occasions, when the good folk of Castle-Rising have memory, like unto a hind let loose, chosen to represent them in Parlia scampers over the past in quest of ment?"..." Why truly, Sir," replied anecdote to enliven conviviality, how the smiling bar-maid, “ I'm not ex often hath the Gray Mare, and the actly at liberty to say who they are, Black Bull, and the automaton elecbut Mr Jerry will be here presently. tors, caused my risible muscles to Many Parliament men have called at bestir themselves, not a living soul our house, to bespeak the seats, and knowing the course thereof, save though two are positively fixed upon, and except my own individual self ! I really cannot, in courtesy to Mr But I am scampering away from my Jerry, publish their names, before he subject at a sad rate, and therefore announces them officially from the beg leave to beg the indulgent readchair.” “And who is this Mr Jerry," er's pardon for so doing. said I, “ that possesseth so much The afternoon being pretty well electioneering influence ?” “O, Sir, expended, I made the best of my he's the Squire's valet,” replied Missway to Lynn Regis, and put up at Pomeroy ;“ a young man of charac- the Jolly Fiddler ; a public-house ter and discernment. He counselleth kept by Mrs Porringer, an old serthe old boy's dotage with great credit vant of my mother's, whose kindness to himself, making some vessels un to me will never be forgotten, every to honour, and others unto dishonour, comfort that the wit of woman could without control, none daring to say devise being in apple-pie order, and - What doest thou ? Mr Jerry's altogether worthy of a more profitword at the Hall is law.” “ Now," able guest. said I, “ Nan Pomeroy,” clenching On the morrow I started by times, my fist, and shaking it in her face, took the coach, and arrived in town, “declare unto me, this precious mo- without falling in with a single adment, who it is that counselleth Mr venture worthy of being put on reJerry, or, by the blushing blood in cord.