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grace! I have need of deep humility before Him; not only on account of my position in the school, but also that He has given me (by His Spirit) a little insight into my sin-polluted self, and made me to feel the sweet drawings of His love (from sin and self) to Him and His righteousness.
“Sunday, May 4th.-And now, my soul, what canst thou say of thy growth in grace? Does it not seem as though thou wert going backreceiving less of divine light and love? Is this a good or bad token of the life of God in the soul? Oh, that I may be led by faith to see more of Christ—to understand more of Him! Oh, that He would enlarge my capacity to love Him more and to receive Him more.
"Sunday, May 10th.-My desire seems very faint to write of the leadings and dealings of Jesus in my soul. I am still crying and sighing and groaning under my burden of sin and self-loathing-of self-despisingof self-mortifying I feel that these things must result from the Lord's teaching. It is hard for flesh and blood to bear, and I feel my carnal nature kick dreadfully against it. But the Lord will accomplish that which He has purposed concerning me in His own good time, and after His own manner.
Sunday, May 24th.-'Who can hold me up but Thou ?' There is no one, nor can I hold myself up. What glorious things the Lord has enabled His servant to speak this evening from the 10th chapter of the Acts, 44th verse. The subject was, the work of the Holy Ghost as wrought out by the preaching of Peter, on that occasion and on the day of Pentecost, in all those that believed. It was considered under three divisions—the preacher, the preaching, the power. May I be led to know in blessed experience, by the power of the Holy Ghost, a 'death unto sin and a new birth unto righteousness.' I feel much troubled and perplexed on account of the way, but the Holy Ghost has caused to be written for my encouragement and instruction, "The Lord hath made the crooked paths. I doubt not they are for some wise purpose.
"He doeth all things well,'
especially for, and in regard to, His own children, who are His jewels—His especial care. "The Lord knoweth them that
“Sunday, June 7th.—Who is sufficient for these things ?' I feel that I am not, unless the Lord strengthens me by grace divine. Next Thursday I shall be twenty-one years old. I tremble to step unless the Lord graciously lead the way. I seem to dread the coming time. I think grow
fresh troubles and trials await me. But the Lord has hoped and will help me until my wilderness journey is ended. How time flies ! how rapid ! how fleeting! Dear father fell asleep in Jesus tifteen months ago. How he longed and desired to see my twenty-first birthday. He was not permitted to, but he has entered upon a more glorious birthday, blooming with immortality.
“ Monday, July 6th.-Sixteen months yesterday since dear father was taken from us, and what wonders the Lord has brought me through (in soul's experience) during that time! And yet I feel as though I know nothing. How can I begin to tell of the Lord's goodness unto me (the least of all saints)—that He has fed me and led me to this very hour. How few know the grand secret of His special love to His reserved few; how few know the secret workings of God the Holy Ghost in the soul !
“Sunday, July 12th.—Away from home. What death have I felt come over my soul? What dark clouds ? How repelling are the associations with which I have been mixed up this day; they seem to
take away my love from the Lord, and make me thoughtless, careless, and prayerless. When the Lord sees fit to withdraw His awakening and renewing power, I feel I should be a lost sinner to all eternity unless Christ has chosen me in the covenant made with the Three-One Jehovah. I do feel I need the Lord the Spirit as an Instructor, for I cannot teach myself; and this very point humbles the poor sinner more than anything; for, if the Lord did not condescend to lift me up from the dunghiil of my sins, I could not lift a thought nor breathe a prayer but what would add to my condemnation and bind me firmer in the chains of death. But what an everlasting satisfaction to us, “the Lord will not leave nor forsake His people!'
“Sunday, July 26th.-To-day I have felt more of the Lord's presence than usual; and yet He has sent sighs and groans and heaviness of spirit with it.
“Sunday, August 2nd.—'Cast down, but not destroyed,' is the language of my heart. I feel that this is a world of trouble and difficulty, doubts and fears, sunshine and darkness. Last Thursday was our Sunday-school children's outing. In the pleasure and out of it there is nothing but emptiness and an aching void. I am tired, and feel pain in my body, and my mind has been in great bondage during the last few days. Poor human nature does not like to be crossed nor cut down. We seem sometimes to fear the words of man more than the words of God. I daresay I think a great deal of myself, and presume much upon the appearancs of things. I have been tảinking (from a remark I heard) whether I have been growing up, like Jonah's gourd, very quickly; and, if all the experience I think I possess be nothing but a gourd of religion of my own rearing up, then surely the Lord will cut it all down and do the work Himself. Mr. Doudney is going away to-morrow for a short time; may the Lord be with him.
“Thursday, August 6th.—What a poor contemptible fool I am; it seems a wonder of wonders that the Lord has not cast me off for ever. I cannot say a word, nor even heave a sigh, in my own defence. Then in what a deplorable, helpless condition I am! Sinful—loving sin-pursuing sinand often seeking sin. And yet I feel daily more and more the burden of it; yea, and the ugliness of it. I feel nothing but sin in myself, and my own thoughts are a hell to me. I feel as though the Lord could never extend His love, mercy, and grace to such a wretch as I am. Surely I am black and polluted, and none but a sovereign and an almighty hand could deliver me.
"Sunday, August 30th.-Mr. Doudney still away. Have not heard the preaching well to-day. I sometimes think my mind and feelings must be very peculiar; but, blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,' it is my humble hope and trust that I have received the knowledge I possess from God, and not from man, nor by taking up another man's opinions and embracing them for my own, for the fire of God's judgment shall try every man's work, whether it be vile or precious. I have felt a little of this trying, a little of this burning, pinching, squeezing, wring, ing process which the Lord employs to rid us of self, that He may lead us to embrace Him as the only sufficient One: “He is the first and the last,' the beginning and ending of all my salvation. The world cannot satisfy my wants, preachers cannot, profession cannot; none but God, through the operation of the Holy Ghost, can satisfy my longing desires.
Sunday, Sept. 20th.—The Lord, by the power of the Holy Ghost, has shown me (a poor unworthy sinner) a little of the enrapturing glories, the unsearchable riches, that are found in Christ. Oh, for a mind to conceive, oh, for a tongue to utter, the praises of Jesus—yea, to lisp His name!
“Sunday, Nov. 8th.—Oh, what can I say of the dealings of my glorious Christ? Although adverse to flesh and blood, yet are they profitable, under the guidance of the Holy Ghost, to my spiritual well-being. The Lord has been graciously kind to me.
He has condescended to be my Friend—'a Friend that sticketh closer than a brother.' He has not only been my Teacher in spiritual things, but also in things relating to my business. He has proved Himself now, as in days of old, the great Goldsmith and Jeweller, when He taught the men of Israel to work in gold and silver-for the tabernacle--and to cut and engrave precious stones.* Surely none teaches like the Lord. I am persuaded that, unless He had been my Instructor and Support, I should not have known nearly as much as I do. How much of the Lord's dealings I can now see in the trials and distress He has brought me through.
Sunday, Nov. 15th.—It is a day of rest from the toils and cares of the week, and glad am I when Saturday night comes, in anticipation of the Sabbath of rest. On, that when the Saturday night of time comes with me, I shall not be found wanting, but that my life may be hid with Christ in God.'
“ Sunday, Nov. 29th.—Another year is fast closing upon us. The worldling fills up his time in vain and ungodly pursuits. The portion of the child of God is not all joy and gladness in this time state—he has sorrows and burdens to encounter. But this is not our rest. And, by the revealings of the Holy Comforter, what solid peace this is calculated to afford the sin-tried soul. Oh, that the Lord would keep me from a merely head knowledge of His Word, but that I may have it as the Holy Ghost describes it by the Apostle Paul, as written in the tables of the heart. My prayer is, that I may be led to walk uprightly in the Lord, and then he will withhold no good thing.' Bless the Lord, O, my soul!'
Sunday, Dec. 6th.-Divine faithfulness and divine forbearance are intimately connected with the experience of a child of God. And well it is for me that He is God, and not poor puny man; for, if the Lord forget me as often as I forget Him, I should eternally be cut off from the sight of the King in His, beauty, and from the glories of heaven. But all things relating to the well-being of the children of God are 'ordered in all things and sure.' Although bowed down (during the past week) to the very dust, and made to feel my own nothingness, yet the Lord is my Strength and my Hiding-place. Oh, that I may be led to flee oftener to the Rock for shelter, from self and sin, from Satan and the world! Yesterday being the 5th of the month, it is just a year and nine months since the Lord was pleased to take our dear father home. May He give us grace so to live that we may meet Him in the eternal kingdom of blessedness.
“Sunday, Jan. 10th, 1864.-Time flies, years roll by, and daily do we see the brittleness of life ; and yet I am kept alive. To what can I ascribe it but to divine faithfulness and love ? Lately the preached Word has afforded me very little profit or comfort, which causes a great deal of
* The deceased was by trade a working jeweller, and, practically, was most painstaking, ingenious, and clever.--Ed.
uneasiness in my mind. I have thought the Lord is making me feel my weakness, and the weakness of the preacher, that I may not idolize and look to him as the producer instead of to the Lord. It has been impressed upon me that no man living can give me a grain of life; therefore, the Lord is teaching me to
from man.' Oh, that He would give me a blessing with the new year! I went to see grandmother this evening. She thinks she shall not live much longer. She is in her eightieth year. I said to her it has been eighty years of mercies. She seems to be getting very
feeble. I hope the Lord is preparing her for glory-yea, has prepared her. Mrs. W- is also ill; she is in her ninetieth year. I tremble when I think of living or dying.
“Sunday, Feb. 14th.—Weak in body, weak in mind, and more than weak in all efforts of my own. O Lord, support me under all temptations and trials. Let me see Thy hand during the coming week. Prepare our minds for whatever Thou shalt see fit to put upon us, whether it be prosperity or adversity.
“ Saturday, March 5th.—Two years to-day our dear father departed this life, and what a mercy that he is taken home out of this weary wilderness! And, though his death gives me many painful thoughts, yet the Word of God says, 'Better is the day of death than the day of one's birth ;' and why? Because at our birth it is not made manifest whether we be the Lord's or no; but at the day of our death it is made manifest. Oh, that grace and peace may be our portion in this life (which is the gift of God), that we at last may be found ' accepted in the Beloved!' The Lord is still plunging me into soul-trial, no doubt for some wise purpose.
Sunday, April 17th.—May the Holy Ghost still condescend to be my Teacher, for I feel more weak and foolish every day. The subject of prayer has troubled me much; whether having stated times or not is. most acceptable. My experience now is (I do not know what it may be), that, when the Lord puts prayer into the poor sinner's heart, then He draws the cry forth, and not until then. The children at school are still very trying and unruly, no change appears to be made upon them ; and it demonstrates to me that the natural man receiveth not the things of God, neither can he know them.' Oh, that the Lord would prosper the work of His hand in our Sunday-school!”
BY THE LATE REV. W. H. HAVERGAL. ALL hail, Thou Resurrection!
Hence, let our faith embrace Thee All bail, Thou Life and Light!
With warmest hand and eye,
And then delight to trace Thee
O Saviour, come in glory,
To raise Thy holy dead, And every eye that meets Thee
And end redemption's
story Beholds Thee strong to save.
With crowns upon Thy head. All bail, beloved Jesus !
Then, robed in white before Thee, For Thou, indeed, art He
Without one stain or tear, Whose death from sin can free us, Shall all Thy saints adore Thee, Whose life brings liberty.
'Midst wonder, love, and fear!
THE SPARROW. I AM only a little sparrow
I have always enough to feed me, A bird of low degree ;
And “ life is more than meat." My life is of little value,
I know there are many sparrows : But the dear Lord cares for me.
All over the world we are found; He gave me a coat of feathers- But our heavenly Father knoweth It is very plain, I know,
When one of us falls to the ground. With never a speck of crimson, Though small, we are not forgotten; For it was not made for show:
Though weak, we are never afraid ;
For we know that the dear Lord But it keeps me warm in winter,
keepeth And it shields me from the rain ;
The life of the creatures He made. Were it bordered with gold or purple, Perhaps it would make me vain. I fly througb the thickest forest,
I light on many a spray ; I have no barn or storehouse,
I have no chart or compass,
But I never lose my way.
And I fold my wings at twilight,
Wherever I happen to be; If my meal is sometimes scanty, For the Father is always watching, Close picking makes it sweet;
And no harm will come to me.
HISTORIC STONES FROM THE KING'S HIGHWAY.
(Continued from page 168.) A FEW summers ago I formed the acquaintance of a godly seaman belonging to one of our large iron-clad vessels of war. This man with a few others made up the "little flock” in a crew of some six hundred and fifty
On one occasion their vessel was lying in a foreign roadstead, and the captain, returning from shore at a late hour of the night, dropped his sword into several fathoms of water, when getting out of the boat to ascend the ship's side. My friend, who had turned in for the night, was. ordered from his warm hammock to put on the diving apparatus, and to breast the midnight waves in search of the missing article. The place being infested with sharks, we need not wonder at the “strange, creeping sensation” that took possession of the diver as he sunk down and down to the bottom of the anchorage. Having reached the bars of the earth, the submarine traveller found himself sinking in mire where there was no standing; and, fearing that some calamity might overtake him in that dismal region, he soon gave the signal, and was drawn up on board. The captain hearing of the man's failure from his snug cabin, and thinking more of his diamond-studded sword than of his men's comfort, at once ordered the diver to go down again, who, on descending for the second time into the dark waters of stern duty, suddenly thought of “ Jonah crying to God out of the belly of hell, when the waters compassed him. about even to the soul ; with the weeds wrapped about his head.” All the way down my friend kept begging of the Lord to make his journey prosperous. Soon the bottom was reached—the hand of willing service, but. trembling faith, outstretched-and, behold, the first thing that God put into it was the lost sword. “ Call unto me (says God), and I will answer thee, and show the hidden things” (margin Jer. xxxiii. 3).
In this strange adventure we see, God answering prayer from the