such a one as me, to follow with all possible care and vigilance that wise advice of Mr. Herbert :

Still let thy mind be bent; still plotting how,

And when, and where, the business may be done.

And this, I bless God, I can in some measure do, while I avoid that bane of all religion, the company of good sort of men, as they are called; persons who have a liking to, but no sense of religion. But these insensibly undermine all my resolution, and steal away what little zeal I have. So that I never come from among these saints of the world (as John Valdesso terms them) faint, dissipated, and shorn of all my strength, but I say, 'God deliver me from a half Christian.'

"9. Freedom from care is yet another invaluable blessing. And where could I enjoy this as I do now? I hear of such a thing as the cares of the world; but I feel them not. My income is ready for me on so many stated days: all I have to do is to carry it home. The grand article of my expense is food. And this too, is provided without any care of mine. The servants I employ are always ready at quarter day; so I have no trouble on their account. And what I occasionally need to buy, I can immediately have without any expense of thought. Here, therefore, I can be without carefulness.' I can'attend upon the Lord without distraction.' And I know what a help this is to the being holy both in body and spirit. "10. To quicken me in making a diligent and thankful use of these peculiar advantages, I have the opportunity of communicating weekly, and of public prayer twice a day. It would be easy to mention many more, as well as to show many disadvantages, which one of greater courage and skill than me, could scarce separate from the way of life you speak of. But whatever others could do, I could not. I could not stand my ground one month against intemperance in sleep, self indulgence in food, irregularity in study; against a general lukewarmness in my affections, and remissness in my actions; against a softness directly opposite to the character of a good soldier of Jesus Christ. And then when my spirit was thus dissolved, I should be an easy prey to every temptation. Then might the cares of the world, and the desire of other things, roll back with a full tide upon me: and it would be no wonder, if while I preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. I cannot, therefore, but observe, that the question does not relate barely to the degrees of noliness, but to the very being of it:

Agitur de vita et sanguine Turni: [Life is at stake:]

"The point is, whether I shall or shall not work out my salvation: whether I shall serve Christ or Belial.

"11. What still heightens my fear of this untried state is, that when I am once entered into it, I am entered irrecoverably,-once for all :

Vestigia nulla retrorsum: [There is no going back.]

If I should ever be weary of the way of life I am now in, I have frequent opportunities of quitting it: but whatever difficulties occur in that, foreseen or unforeseen, there is no return, any more than from the grave. When I have once launched out into the unknown sea, there is no recovering my harbour. I must go on, through whatever whirlpools, or rocks, or sands, though all the waves and storms go over me.

“12. Thus much as to myself. But I cannot deny that 'we are not to consider ourselves alone; seeing God made us all for a social life, to which academical studies are only preparatory.' I allow too, that 'He will take an exact account of every talent which he has lent us, not to bury them, but to employ every mite we have received according to his will, whose stewards we are.' I own also, that every follower of Christ is, in his proportion, the light of the world; that whosoever is such, can no more be concealed than the sun in the midst of heaven; that if he is

set as a light in a dark place, his shining must be the more conspicuous; that to this very end was his light given, even to shine on all around him ;' and, indeed, that ‘there is only one way to hide it, which is, to put it out.' I am obliged likewise, unless I will lie against the truth, to grant, that there is not a more contemptible animal upon earth, than one that drones away life, without ever labouring to promote either the glory of God or the good of man; and that, whether he be young or old, learned or unlearned, in a college, or out of it;' yet granting the superlative degree of contempt to be on all accounts due to a college drone;' a wretch who has received ten talents and employs none; that is not only promised a reward hereafter, but is also paid before hand for his work, and yet works not at all. But allowing all this, and whatever else you can say (for I own you can never say enough) against the drowsy ingratitude, the lazy perjury of those who are commonly called harmless men, a fair proportion of whom I must, to our shame, confess are to be found in colleges allowing this, I say, I do not apprehend it concludes against a college life in general. For the abuse of it does not destroy the use. Though there are some here who are the mere lumber of the creation, it does not follow that others may not be of more service to the world in this station, than they could be in any other.

:

"13. That I in particular could, might (it seems) be inferred from what has been shown already; viz. that I may myself be holier here than any where else, if I faithfully use the blessings I enjoy. But to waive this, I have other reasons so to judge; and the first is, the plenteousness of the harvest. Here is indeed a large scene of various action: here is room for charity in all its forms: there is scarce any possible way of doing good, for which here is not daily occasion. I can now only touch on the several heads. Here are poor families to be relieved here are children to be educated: here are workhouses, wherein both young and old gladly receive the word of exhortation: here are prisons, and therein a complication of all human wants: and, lastly, here are the schools of the prophets. Of these, in particular, we must observe, that he who gains one, does thereby do as much service to the world, as he could do in a parish in his whole life; for his name is Legion: in him are contained all those who shall be converted to God by him: he is not a single drop of the dew of heaven, but a river to make glad the city of God.

"14. But Epworth,' you say, 'is a larger sphere of action than this: there I should have the care of two thousand souls.' Two thousand souls! I see not how it is possible for such one as me, to take care of one hundred. Because the weight that is now upon me is almost more than I can bear, shall I increase it ten-fold?

imponere Pelio Ossam

Scilicet, atque Ossæ frondosum involvere Olympum.

[To heap mountain upon mountain.] Would this be the way to help either myself or others up to heaven? Nay, the mountains I reared would only crush my own soul, and so make me utterly useless to others.

"15. I need but just glance on several other reasons why I am more likely to be useful here than elsewhere; as, because I have the advice of many friends in any difficulty, and their encouragement in any danger: because we have the eyes of multitudes upon us, who, even without designing it, perform the most substantial office of friendship; apprizing us, if we have already done any thing wrong, and guarding us against doing so again: lastly, because we have a constant fund to supply the bodily wants of the poor, and thereby open a way for their souls to receive instruction.

"16. If you say, 'the love of the people of Epworth to me may balance these advantages;' I ask, How long will it last? Only till I come to tell

them plainly that their deeds are evil; and particularly to apply that general sentence, to say to each, Thou art the man! Alas, sir, do not I know what love they had to you once? And how have many of them used you since? Why, just as every one will be used, whose business it is to bring light to them that love darkness.

"17. Notwithstanding, therefore, their present prejudice in my favour, I cannot see that I am likely to do that good, either at Epworth or any other place which I may hope to do in Oxford. And yet one terrible objection lies in the way: 'Have you found it so in fact? What have you done there in fourteen years? Have not your very attempts to do good there, for want either of a particular turn of mind for the business you engaged in, or of prudence to direct you in the right method of doing it, been always unsuccessful? Nay, and brought such contempt upon you, as has, in some measure, disqualified you for any future success? And are there not men in Oxford, who are not only better and holier than you, but who, having preserved their reputation, and being universally esteemed, are every way fitter to promote the glory of God in that place?'

18. I am not careful to answer in this matter. It is not my part to say whether God hath done good by my hands; whether I have a particular turn of mind for this, or not; and whether want of success (where our attempts did not succeed) was owing to imprudence, or to other causes. But the latter part of the objection, that one who is despised can do no good; that without reputation a man cannot be useful,' being the strong hold of all the unbelieving, the vainglorious, the cowardly Christians, (so called,) I will, by the grace of God, see what reason there is for this thus continually to exalt itself against the Gospel of Christ.

“19. With regard to contempt, then, (under which word I include ali the passions that border upon it, as hate, envy, &c; and all the fruits that spring from it, such as calumny and persecution in all its forms,) my first position, in defiance of worldly wisdom, is, every true Christian is contemned, wherever he lives, by those who are not so, and who know him to be such; that is, in effect, by all with whom he converscs; since it is impossible for light not to shine. This position I prove, both from the example of our Lord, and from his express assertion. First, from his example: If 'the disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord,' then as our Master was 'despised and rejected of men,' so will every one of his true disciples. But the disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his Lord:' therefore, the consequence will not fail him a hair's breadth. I prove this secondly, from his own express assertion of this consequence: 'If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more them of his household? Remember' (ye that would fain forget or evade this) 'the word which I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his Lord: If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you.' And as for that vain hope, that this belongs only to the first followers of Christ, hear ye him: All these things they will do unto you, because they know not him that sent me.' And again, 'Because ye are not of the world, therefore the world hateth you.' Both the persons who are hated, the persons who hate them, and the cause of their hating them, are here set down. The hated are all that are not of the world, that know and love God: the haters are all that are of the world, that know not, love not God: the cause of their hatred is the entire, irreconcilable difference between their designs, judgments, and affections; because these know not God, and those are determined to know and pursue nothing beside him: these esteem and love the world; and those count it dung and dross, and singly desire the love of Christ. "20. My next position is this: till he is thus despised, no man is in a state of salvation. And this is a plain consequence of the former; for if all that are not of the world,' are therefore despised by those that are,

then, till a man is despised, he is of the world; that is, out of a state of salvation. Nor is it possible for all the trimmers between God and the world to elude the consequence; unless they can prove that a man may be of the world,' and yet be in a state of salvation. I must therefore, with, or without the consent of these, keep close to my Saviour's judg ment, and maintain, that contempt is a part of the cross which every man bears who follows him; that it is the badge of his discipleship, the stamp of his profession, the constant seal of his calling; insomuch that though a man may be despised without being saved, yet he cannot be saved without being despised.

6

"21. I should not spend any more words on this great truth, but that it is at present voted out of the world. The masters in Israel, learned men, men of renown, seem absolutely to have forgotten it: nay, and censure those who have not forgotten the words of their Lord, as settersforth of strange doctrine.' Yet they who hearken to God rather than man, must lay down one strange position morc,-That the being despised is absolutely necessary to our doing good in the world: if not to our doing some good, (for God may work by Judas,) yet to our doing so much good as we otherwise might seeing we must know God, if we would fully teach others to know him. But if we do, we must be despised of them that know him not. Where then is the scribe? Where is the wise? Where is the disputer of this world? Where is the replier against God with his sage maxims, 'He that is despised can do no good in the world? To be useful a man must be esteemed: to advance the glory of God, you must have a fair reputation.' Saith the world so? Well, what saith the Scripture? Why, that God hath laughed' all this heathen wisdom to scorn.' It saith that twelve despised followers of a despised Master, all of whom were esteemed as the filth and off-scouring of the world,' did more good in it, than all the twelve tribes of Israel. It saith, that their despised Master left an express declaration to us, and to our children, Blessed are ye' (not accursed with the heavy curse of doing no good, of being useless in the world) 'when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil of you falsely for my name's sake. Rejoice and be exceeding glad; for great is your reward in heaven.' "22. These are a part of my reasons for choosing to abide as yet in the station wherein I now am. As to the flock committed to your care, whom you have many years fed with the sincere milk of the word, I trust in God, your labour shall not be in vain. Some of them you have seen gathered into the garner. And, for yourself, I doubt not, when 'your warfare is accomplished,' when you are made perfect through sufferings,' you shall follow the children whom God hath given you, full of years and victories. And he that took care of those poor sheep before you was born, will not forget them when you are dead.'

Thur. 29.-I left London, and in the evening expounded to a small company at Basingstoke. Saturday, 31.-In the evening I reached Bristol, and met Mr. Whitefield there. I could scarce reconcile myself at first to this strange way of preaching in the fields, of which he set me an example on Sunday; having been all my life (till very lately) so tenacious of every point relating to decency and order, that I should have thought the saving of souls almost a sin, if it had not been done in a church.

April 1.-In the evening (Mr. Whitefield being gone) I begun expounding our Lord's sermon on the mount, (one pretty remarkable precedent of field preaching, though I suppose there were churches at that time also,) to a little society which was accustomed to meet once or twice a week in Nicholas-street. Mon. 2.-At four in the after

noon, I submitted to be more vile, and proclaimed in the highways the glad tidings of salvation, speaking from a little eminence in a ground adjoining to the city, to about three thousand people. The Scripture on which I spoke was this, (is it possible any one should be ignorant, that it is fulfilled in every true minister of Christ?) "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the Gospel to the poor. He hath sent me to heal the broken hearted; to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind: to set at liberty them that are bruised, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord." At seven I began expounding the Acts of the Apostles, to a society meeting in Baldwin-street; and the next day the Gospel of St. John in the chapel at Newgate; where I also daily read the morning service of the Church.

Wed. 4.-At Baptist Mills, (a sort of a suburb or village about half a mile from Bristol,) I offered the grace of God to about fifteen hundred persons from these words, "I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely." In the evening three women agreed to meet together weekly, with the same intention as those at London, viz. “To confess their faults one to another, and pray one for another, that they may be healed." At eight, four young men agreed to meet, in pursuance of the same design. How dare any man deny this to be (as to the substance of it) a means of grace, ordained by God? Unless he will affirm (with Luther in the fury of his Solifidianism) that St. James's Epistle is an epistle of straw.

Thur. 5.-At five in the evening I began at a society in Castlestreet, expounding the Epistle to the Romans; and the next evening at a society in Gloucester-lane, the first Epistle of St. John. On Saturday evening, at Weaver's Hall, also, I begun expounding the Epistle to the Romans; and declared that Gospel to all, which is the "power of God unto salvation, to every one that believeth." Sun. 8.-At seven in the morning I preached to about a thousand persons at Bristol, and afterward to about fifteen hundred on the top of Hannam Mount in Kingswood. I called to them in the words of the evangelical prophet, "Ho! every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; come and buy wine and milk, without money, and without price." About five thousand were in the afternoon at Rose Green; (on the other side of Kingswood ;) among whom I stood and cried, in the name of the Lord, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink. He that believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water."

Tues. 10.-I was desired to go to Bath; where I offered to about a thousand souls, the free grace of God to "heal their backsliding;" and in the morning to (I believe) more than two thousand. I preached to about the same number at Baptist Mills in the afternoon, on, "Christ, made of God unto us, wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption." Sat. 14.-I preached at the poor house; three or four hundred were within, and more than twice that number without: to whom I explained those comfortable words, "When they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both." Sun. 15.-I explained at seven to five or six thousand persons, the story of the Pharisee and the Publican. About three thousand were present at Hannam Mount.