past conduct, Mr. John Wesley was deeply convinced that he fell short of the true Christian character. "It is now," said he, "two years and almost four months since I left my native country, in order to teach the Georgian Indians the nature of Christianity; but what have I learned myself in the mean time? Why, (what I least of all suspected,) that I, who went to America to convert others, was never myself converted to God. 'I am not mad,' though I thus speak; but I speak the words of truth and soberness ;' if haply some of those who still dream may awake, and see, that as I am, so are they.

"Are they read in philosophy? So was I. In ancient or modern tongues? So was I also. Are they versed in the science of divinity? I too have studied it many years. Can they talk fluently upon spiritual things? The very same could I do. Are they plenteous in alms? Behold, I gave all my goods to feed the poor. Do they give of their labour, as well as of their substance? I have laboured more abundantly than they all. Are they willing to suffer for their brethren? I have thrown up my friends, reputation, ease, country; I have put my life in my hand, wandering into strange lands; I have given my body to be devoured by the deep, parched up with heat, consumed with toil and weariness, or whatsoever God should please to bring upon me. But does all this (be it more or less, it matters not) make me acceptable to God? Does all I ever did or can know, say, give, do, or suffer, justify me in his sight? Yea, or the constant use of all the means of grace? (which, nevertheless, is meet, right, and our bounden duty.) Or that I know nothing of myself; that I am, as touching outward moral righteousness, blameless? Or (to come closer yet) the having a rational conviction of all the truths of Christianity? Does all this give me a claim to the holy, heavenly, divine character of a Christian? By no means. If the oracles of God are true, if we are still

to abide by the law and the testimony,' all these things, though when ennobled by faith in Christ they are holy, and just, and good, yet without it are dung and dross, meet only to be purged away by the fire that never shall be quenched.

"This, then, have I learned in the ends of the earth,that I am fallen short of the glory of God: that my whole heart is altogether corrupt and abominable; and, consequently, my whole life; (seeing it cannot be that an evil tree should bring forth good fruit ;) that alienated, as I am, from the life of God, I am a child of wrath, an heir of hell: that my own works, my own sufferings, my own righteousness, are so far from reconciling me to an offended God, so far from making any atonement for the least of those sins which are more in number than the hairs of my head, that the most specious of them need an atonement themselves, or they cannot abide his righteous judgment; that having the sentence of death in my heart, and having nothing in or of myself to plead, I have no hope but that of being justified freely through the redemption that is in Jesus. I have no hope but that if I seek, I shall find Christ, and be found in him, not having my own righteousness, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith.'

"If it be said that I have faith, (for many such things have I heard from many miserable comforters,) I answer, So have the devils a sort of faith; but still they are strangers to the covenant of promise. So the apostles had even at Cana in Galilee, when Jesus first 'manifested forth his glory;' even then they, in a sort, 'believed on him;' but they had not then the faith that overcometh the world.' The faith I want is, 'a sure trust and confidence in God, that, through the merits of Christ, my sins are forgiven, and I reconciled to the favour of God.' I want that faith which St. Paul recommends to all the world, especially

in his epistle to the Romans: that faith which enables every one that hath it to cry out, 'I live not; but Christ liveth in me; and the life which I now live, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.' I want that faith which none can have without knowing that he hath it; (though many imagine they have it who have it not ;) for whosoever hath it is freed from sin, the whole body of sin is destroyed in him. He is freed from fear, having 'peace with God through Christ, and rejoicing in hope of the glory of God.' And he is free from doubt, having 'the love of God shed abroad in his heart through the Holy Ghost, which is given unto him;' which 'Spirit itself beareth witness with his spirit that he is a child of God.'"*

These convictions, painful and humiliating as they were to a man who had done and suffered so much in what he conceived to be the cause of true religion, were strengthened and confirmed by his intercourse with Peter Böhler, a learned minister of the Moravian Church, who arrived in England at this time. He was introduced to this distinguished German at the house of a Dutch merchant in London, on the 7th of this month, and omitted no opportunity of conversing with him till the beginning of May, when this pious stranger embarked for Carolina. Mr. Wesley appears to have derived more evangelical light from Peter Böhler than from any other man with whom he had been acquainted up to this period. The following notices in his Journal show the deep impression which Böhler's conversation made upon his mind :

“Friday, 17th, I set out for Oxford with Peter Böhler. Saturday, 18th, we went to Stanton-Harcourt, to Mr. Gambold. All this time I conversed much with Peter Böhler, but I understood him not; and least of all when he said,

* Works, vol. iii, p. 57, Am. edit.

'My brother, my brother, that philosophy of yours must be purged away!'

"Saturday, March 4th, I found my brother at Oxford, recovering from his pleurisy; and with him Peter Böhler; by whom (in the hand of the great God) I was, on Sunday the 5th, clearly convinced of unbelief, of the want of that faith whereby alone we are saved. Immediately it struck into my mind, 'Leave off preaching. How can you preach to others, who have not faith yourself?" I asked Böhler whether he thought I should leave it off or not. He answered, 'By no means.' I asked, 'But what can I preach?' He said, 'Preach faith till you have it; and then, because have it, you will preach faith.'

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Accordingly, Monday 6th, I began preaching this new doctrine, though my soul started back from the work. The first person to whom I offered salvation, by faith alone, was a prisoner under sentence of death. His name was Clifford. Peter Böhler had many times desired me to speak to him before. But I could not prevail on myself to do so; being still (as I had been many years) a zealous asserter of the impossibility of a death-bed repentance.

"Thursday, 23d, I met Peter Böhler again, who now amazed me more and more by the account he gave of the fruits of living faith-the holiness and happiness which he affirmed to attend it. The next morning I began the Greek Testament again, resolving to abide by 'the law and the testimony;' and being confident that God would hereby show me whether this doctrine was of God.

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Saturday, April 22d, I met Peter Böhler once more. I had now no objection to what he said of the nature of faith; namely, that it is, (to use the words of our church,) 'asure trust and confidence which a man hath in God, that through the merits of Christ his sins are forgiven, and he reconciled to the favour of God.' Neither could I deny either the happiness or holiness which he described as

fruits of this living faith. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God;' and, he that believeth hath the witness in himself;' fully convinced me of the former; as, 'whatsoever is born of God doth not commit sin,' and 'whosoever believeth is born of God,' did of the latter. But I could not comprehend what he spoke of an instantaneous work. I could not understand how this faith should be given in a moment; how a man could at once be thus turned from darkness to light, from sin and misery to righteousness and joy in the Holy Ghost. I searched the Scriptures again, touching this very thing, particularly the Acts of the Apostles; but, to my utter astonishment, found scarce any instances there of other than instantaneous conversions; scarce any so slow as that of St. Paul, who was three days in the pangs of the new birth. I had but one retreat left, namely,' Thus I grant God wrought in the first ages of Christianity; but the times are changed. What reason have I to believe he works in the same manner now?'

"But on Sunday, 23d, I was beat out of this retreat, too, by the concurring evidence of several living witnesses, who testified God had thus wrought in themselves; giving them in a moment such a faith in the blood of his Son, as translated them out of darkness into light, out of sin and fear into holiness and happiness. Here ended my disputing. I could only cry out, Lord, help thou my unbelief!'

"I asked Peter Böhler again, whether I ought not to refrain from teaching others. He said, 'No; do not hide in the earth the talent God hath given you.' Accordingly, on Tuesday, 25th, I spoke clearly and fully at Blendon, to Mr. Delamotte's family, of the nature and fruits of faith. Mr. Broughton and my brother were there. Mr. Broughton's great objection was, he could never think that I had not faith, who had done and suffered such things. My