sky-blue cloth, made tight (almost to suffocation) to his form, from the chin to the heels, and covered with small, white, sugar-loaf buttons; and, thus transformed, he officiates as his mistress's "page." At the theatre, too, when through her auspicious acquaintance with some circulating-library-keeper, she is favoured with a private box-for the purveyor's lady would consider it as vastly ungenteel to be seen elsewhere the errand-boy is sent into the gallery to be ready at the conclusion of the performances to answer to the call for “ Mrs. Stilton's PAGE," and mount behind her coach!-By Heavens! it is enough to No; not to make one angry: for this, and the thousand other absurd apings of gentility by the Brushes and the Stiltons of this higgledy-piggledy age, be our laughter; let our anger be lavished upon this cruel weather which, should it persist in its unprovoked, unfeeling, and long-endured persecution of us, will compel the most patient to "have recourse to measures which we shall be very sorry to adopt." But, to return. Being attired to my uncle's satisfaction, we proceeded on our journey, and soon reached Dr. Wobs's "Classical and Commercial Academy." The Doctor was a- -But Doctor Wobs being even less necessary to my story than were my father and grandfather, I shall not indulge in any description or particular notice of him :another remarkable instance of story-telling abstinence, as, needless as he is to the purpose, I think I could still have contrived to make him serve me for a dozen or twenty pages. My good uncle introduced me to the Doctor, telling him that I, his nephew, was the only relation in the world he cared about; and that, as at his death I should most likely come into possession of all that belonged to him, he desired that I should receive the best education the Doctor's establishment could afford me. "And pray, Mr. Higs, what do you intend to make of Master Toby?" inquired the Doctor. Unhesitatingly, and with a dignity which would have done no discredit to the illustrious founder of our family, Gualtier De la Higue himself" A gentleman," replied my uncle. 66 O-ay-yes, sir," said the Doctor. "When you have done with him, Doctor," resumed my uncle, “I shall send him to Eton, and thence, probably, to Oxford." For nearly one hour my kind protector loitered with me about the playground, evidently loath to leave me; but the imperative "five minutes afore five" seemed still to be ringing in his ears, for his watch was scarcely out of his hand during the whole of the time. At length, with manifest regret on both sides, we parted. The next morning I was regularly set to my tasks; and, in process of December-nearly at the termination of this counterfeit year, 1839, when venturing to hope that, by this time, every drop of rain must have been squeezed out of the clouds, it is still pouring down by the bucketful! And out of this arises a question for the consideration of the lawyers:-Are we bound to accept twelve months, without either spring, summer, or autumn, as a legal tender for a Year? In other words, can such a year be placed to a man's debit in the account of his life, and added as ONE to his age on his birthday next ensuing ? Should this question be answered in the negative, it follows that ladies who, at forty, commenced reckoning one backwards, will be warranted in striking off two. time, was instructed in every thing requisite for one who was intended for the gentleman line-whatever, indeed, was taught in the school, excepting the method of book-keeping, the calculating of exchanges, and all such matters as would have been necessary to qualify me for a man of business. Here I remained five years, passing the holidays in Little Ormond-street. I could not help observing that upon each of these succeeding occasions, the air of my uncle was more and more dejected, the manner and conduct of Mrs. Snatchit more and more imperious. The frequent, and almost the only, visiter, was the captain, whose visits usually commenced at the dinner-hour, and terminated with the conclusion of supper. He was far from being a favourite of my uncle's, who could not, indeed, upon some occasions, conceal his dislike of him, and displeasure at his visits; but as the lady declared, that wherever she was her cousin should have the right of coming, or that there she would no longer remain, the poor gentleman was obliged (as Jack says) to "grin and bear it." There was one circumstance, touching the captain, for which I could not account: it was that after the lapse of about two years his visits were more frequent, and protracted till a later hour in the evening-the twenty-minutes before nine ceasing to be the signal for his departure. By those who were well acquainted with him, Mr. Tobias Higs was said to be a "warm man," worth, at the least, forty thousand pounds. On the day prior to my going to Eton, which was soon after I had completed my fifteenth year, I was told, in confidence, by my uncle's lawyer, that the whole of this would one day be mine. He knew it, for he had drawn the will. The instrument bore date the very day after my uncle, kind, good soul, had placed me at Dr. Wobs's, and had never since been altered. After providing rings for a few of his old friends, and a trifling memorial of him to Mrs. Snatchit, I was named residuary legatee. With such expectations, to Eton, as a gentleman, I went; there as a gentleman I was educated; there as a gentleman I lived, and with gentlemen associated. At Eton I was occasionally visited by my uncle, but always accompanied by Mrs. Snatchit, who, jealously watching him, prevented our enjoying any conversation in private with each other, anxious as he evidently was to do so. Each succeeding visit proved to me, what indeed was the inevitable consequence of his own lamentable weakness, that his pitiable thraldom was becoming worse and worse; the woman's coarse control over him, to which his very looks were submissive, being now less than ever either disguised or restrained. The conversation, whilst we were together (which was usually at the "Christopher," where we dined), was always confined to the subject of my doings at Eton: no allusion was ever ventured by my uncle, or permitted by Mrs. Snatchit, to home, or the proceedings there. At meeting me he was delighted and happy, and his salutations were expressive of kindness and affection: as the hour for parting approached, he became sad and dejected, and his final "farewell" was a silent squeeze of the hand, whilst tears forced themselves from his eyes. "As sure as fate," thought I (for being eighteen years old I could think, and being moreover, an Eton boy, I could understand)—“ as sure as fate, my kind, good, foolish old uncle, has made that woman my aunt, at last." And my heart sank in my bosom with sorrow at the thought. Now, however wise may be a youth of eighteen, it is seldom that he is worldly; and I solemnly declare, that my sorrow was not excited by any dread of the alteration that this supposed change in my uncle's condition might operate in mine. No; I was grieved to think that by this act, he had doomed to hopeless misery the remainder of his life. But, as the result will show, in this conjecture I, in common with all who were acquainted with him, was mistaken. In confirmation of my uncle's intention to make a gentleman of me, from Eton I was sent to Oxford. There, my allowance being sufficient for the purpose, I was enabled to associate, on easy and independent terms, with many young men of rank and family, with most of whom I was a favourite, and by some acknowledged as a friend. My studies I pursued with assiduity, and with a success which, I may say, left me no cause for shame. My first vacation I passed in Little Ormondstreet. The captain was our daily visiter at dinner, and sometimes indeed at breakfast: Mrs. Snatchit's authority "had increased, was increasing, and" (as I thought)" ought to be diminished;" whilst my uncle was gradually sinking, deeper and deeper, into helpless and unresisting acquiescence in it. When I came up for the second vacation, I found the captain fairly domiciliated in the house; but Mrs. Snatchit had kindly undertaken to provide for me a bedroom, at the top of a house, in the immediate neighbourhood. I privately expostulated with my uncle upon what I considered to be the insult offered both to him and me by this proceeding; but, as he answered to this only by a melancholy shake of the head, a flood of tears, and a half-articulate,-" Never mind, my dearest boy, never mind; don't let us oppose her, or it will be worse," I said no more upon the subject. I requested, however, his permission to pass my remaining vacations at Oxford, and obtained it. Now and then, I went up to town to pay him a visit, but I never slept in the house; and so displeasing to me was the conduct of Mrs. Snatchit and her cousin, that it was only by a resolute effort to overcome my repugnance to the task, that I could be prevailed upon even to dine with him. It happened upon one of these occasions that I was going to see Lodge, a beautiful villa of Lord's, a few miles from London, celebrated for its tasteful gardens, and for some pictures and other works of art which the house contained. I proposed to my uncle to accompany me. He was delighted at the invitation and assented to it. "Thankee, my dear boy," said he, "thankee; we'll go; we'll have a carriage for the day, and-and Mrs. Snatchit will go with us." "But, sir," said I, "the family are there, and I have a note of introduction to Lord from his son, who is an intimate friend of mine at Oxford." "Yes I see-yes-but, wherever I go, I—in short, I am obliged to take Mrs. Snatchit with me." This he said in a tone and manner clearly indicating that he was ashamed of himself for making such a proposal, whether voluntarily or by compulsion. It, however, afforded me a fair opportunity of satisfying my doubts upon a very important point, and I resolved to avail myself of it. Jan.-VOL. LVIII. NO. CCXXIX. F "Sir," said I, "were I to introduce to Lord and his family a person who is not your wife, his lordship would be justified in ordering his grooms to duck me in the nearest horse-pond. Assure me, upon your honour, that you are married to Mrs. Snatchit, and I shall be happy to accede to your wish." This was a question difficult of evasion. He paused for a moment; then, laying his hand upon his heart, he said, fervently," Nephew, by all that is most sacred, I swear that I am not!" Again he paused for a while, and added, “I will confess to you that I have more than once proposed marriage to her; but the good, the disinterested creature has always resolutely rejected the offer, nay, threatened to abandon me-to abandon me-should I persist in repeating it." "And yet, my dear uncle," said I, in a tone of mild remonstrance, you would not have hesitated to introduce this "Tobias,-my child-my son," cried he, "don't reproach me-I cannot help myself I am a fettered slave-a wretched, miserable man. Years ago did Wigsley and other friends warn me of what this -must-come to,"-(these words he uttered emphatically)" and to this most surely, most wofully, is it come. Nephew-nephew-look at me, pity me, and learn wisdom through my folly. Let clergymen's daughters drown themselves if they will; but would you be a respected and a happy man, marry, marry, MARRY." He covered his face with his hands and sobbed like a child; then, throwing himself into a chair, he stared at me with a vacant, idiotic look -now almost common with him—and, after a few minutes, fell asleep. Deeply as I was moved by the earnest, the pathetic, words and manner of my poor uncle, there was something so exquisitely ludicrous in his warning about clergymen's daughters (coming as it did), that it was with difficulty I restrained my laughter. To every word of this conversation had Mrs. Snatchit been listening at the keyhole of the door of the adjoining room! This I was told by one of the servants as I quitted the house. Mark well the day! Observe that this occurred on the sixteenth of July. I returned to Oxford to pass my last term. Before the expiration of a month-on the 12th of August-I was astonished at the receipt of a letter dated "St. Germain-en-Laye." It was from my uncle, and, judging from the dryness of its style and its unusual brevity, it seemed to me to have been written under dictation. It was simply this: "St. Germain-en-Laye, "Dear Nephew, "Have not been very well-have been recommended change of airto try this place. Dear, GOOD Mrs. Snatchit, has most kindly consented to accompany and take care of me. The good captain, too, is with us. You need not write, AND BY NO MEANS COME. I am taken care of to my heart's content. Will give you notice of my return. "Your affectionate uncle, "TOBIAS HIGS. "To T. Higs, Esq., sant. I instantly went up to town. I called in Little Ormond-street. The house was closed; but a bill in one of the windows, obligingly informed me that it was to be let, furnished, for six months, and that if I had the smallest desire for any further information, I might apply to one Mr. Clatterbottom, a house-agent in Lamb's Conduit-street. This was pleaI next went to my uncle's broker in the city. By him I was informed that on the seventeenth of July, my uncle had sold out all that remained to him-(I did not like the phrase)-of his property in the various stocks, which produced him 15,7251. 19s. 6d., for the purpose, as my uncle told him, of investing the money in the French funds. By the banker I was told, that on that same day, that identical sum had been remitted to the house of Larose and Co., bankers, at Paris, there to await my uncle's order. My next visit was to Mr. Chousely, my uncle's solicitor, who assured me that up to the morning of the nineteenth of July, which was the day of his departure-quick work!-no alteration, that he knew of, had been made in my uncle's will to my disadvantage. Nevertheless, as he did not quite like the appearance of things, he advised that we should instantly set off together for France, and look about us. This we agreed to do on the morrow. morning of that day the post brought to Mr. Chousely a letter dated On the Dover. It was from my uncle. It stated that the air of France not agreeing with him, he had, after a few days' trial of it, resolved to return; (this resolution he must have taken within a day or two after the date of his letter to me)—that he had arrived at Dover, but was too ill to proceed to London; and requested that Mr. Chousely would come to him WITHOUT DELAY, as he had a communication of the utmost importance to make to him, and, if possible, bring Tobias along with him. To Dover we went; and there, at the Ship Inn, stretched on a bed, we found my poor uncle-speechless. To be brief: thus did he remain till, at the end of the third day-he expired. And where were Mrs. Snatchit and the captain? Nobody knew any thing about them. Well; we returned to London. The will was opened; it was unalThe old gentleman had arrived unattended. tered; I still was residuary legatee: that was well; but It appeared, upon investigation, that my uncle's property had never been as large as his friends supposed: that, at various times, he had given to Mrs. Snatchit sums of fifty, eighty, and a hundred pounds, amounting in the whole to nearly seven thousand pounds! and that the entire of the large sum remitted to Paris, had, been paid, upon his written order, to that lady! at one fell swoop," 66 And what remained to me? About sixty pounds lying in his banker's hands, and the unexpired term of three years in the lease of the lively house in Little Ormond-street. The plate, and all else that was valuable and moveable, had already been taken by Mrs. Snatchit; and the heavy, old furniture was, according to the directions of the will, to be hers also. But it was not likely "the good, the disinterested creature," who had so often refused to marry her master, would now claim the legacy: -for she, and her husband, the moment they received the money from the Paris banker, betook themselves to the classic land of Italy. At the time when my uncle first met the "clergyman's daughter," and saved her from a watery grave, she was already the wife of Richard Saatchit, a private in the guards, then serving in the Peninsula; and F 2 |