"The rest of the party dropped in by degrees, and although we had dined at five, and it was now only seven, it was thought requisite to have some refreshment. Anchovy toasts, devilled biscuits, mutton chops, kidneys, and grilled chickens, were ordered, and the cook to his (for he's a dog-cook), great disgust, was summoned to the kitchen from his beer and tobacco at the tap. These, with sundry glasses of warm with, and cold without, huge pitchers of treble X, and tankards of cold swizzle, proved so good, that it was carried nem. con. to have a second edition of them after the play, and invite old Chatty and Jack Greatman to partake.

"Most of you know Jack, because you have heard him sing, do a bit of ventriloquism, and imitate the French-horn, keyed bugle, and all sorts of music in my rooms. His history is a curious, but by no means an uncommon one. His father was a highly-respectable tradesman, and gave Jack a good education; but before he could apprentice him to any business, misfortunes came upon him in rapid succession, and Jack having nothing to do, hired a buggy, and a servant with a liverycoat and a hat with a gold band round it, and went over to France, where he had a capital lark, and after he had spent all his money, and spouted the trap and horse to raise the necessary, returned to find the old man a bankrupt and himself penniless.

"He might have got work if he had wished, but he did not; he entertained very gentlemanly notions about the respectability of doing nothing.

Beatus ille, qui procul negotiis,'.

was his motto. He lived for sometime on the good-nature and hospitality of his relations and friends in the neighbourhood, and having plenty of leisure for practice, became a tolerable proficient in the arts of singing, and those other accomplishments for which he is so justly celebrated.

"When his friends began to think that a song, however well sung, and a story, however well told, were but a poor recompence for sundry slices of beef, mutton, or pork, with vegetables and bread to matchnot to mention quarts of ale and glasses of grog-for Jack was always what he calls a wet un,' they gave him very plain hints that he must look out for a cupboard of his own. This was a puzzler. Jack looked about him, and saw no prospect of a cupboard or of any thing to put into it if he were possessed of it. He tried to think for what he was fitted. The law? he did not like the idea of being nailed to a desk copying musty deeds and parchments, and being obliged to work by folios, like a stone-breaker on the road who is paid by bushels— he wanted to work by the day.' Divinity? he had been bred up a dissenter a baptist; and he thought, as he said, he could come it as strong as the minister,' and made an experiment before a looking-glass, but burst out into so loud a laugh at the sight of his funny face, as convinced him that that was no go!' Physic? it was dirty work— and what was worse, it was night work; and after nine Jack was generally head-man in a public; president, or Vice, of the Harmonics Society, and before twelve, drunk, or very near it. No go' again.

"But amongst the company, the Harmonics, was an apothecary who wanted an assistant, and he thought Jack would just suit him. He

agreed to take him without a premium, upon condition that he was to keep sober whenever his master was drunk, and vice versa. Jack pounded away at the mortar, and sung over his work, and thought himself established for life; but, after a fortnight, he told his employer he could not stand it any longer.

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Why not, my dear Jack?' inquired the doctor. "You recollect our agreement, master?'

"Perfectly.'

"Well, then, I've been with you fourteen days, and you have not given me a chance yet. I can't stand it, and won't.'

"Master stayed at home and got drunk that night, and Jack had his turn, which he kept up for a week, when master interfered, and he was obliged to yield. How long, by the bucket' system, they might have gone on together, it is impossible to say, but a little event occurred that compelled them to part.

·

"Jack's master had a patient about a mile from the town, in a retired part of a village. As there was nothing to be done in the surgery,' and when that was the case, mischief was sure to ensue, he thought the best thing he could do would be to take Jack with him. They went to the cottage, and master went up stairs to his patient, leaving Jack below with half a dozen old women, who usually congregate in the house of death or illness.

"Jack never could be quiet, and recollecting that he had some thoughts of turning preacher, thought a favourable opportunity was before him to try his powers on the congregation assembled. The noise he made was so tremendous, that the old women rushed out of the house, and the patient, who had been listening to him through the crevices in the floor, went off in a swoon, which the doctor mistook for death. He ran down stairs, and found Jack rolling on the floor in convulsions of laughter, which he undertook to cure by thrashing him soundly with a flail which stood conveniently in the corner.

"Jack could not brook this-no gentleman could-so he gave warning, and cut physic and his master for ever.

"Soon after this he luckily met with a country squire of the Tony Lumpkin breed, with more money than brains, and with him he lived until he was turned out of doors to make room for a squiress, whom, the squire thought, he might let into some secrets that were better untold.

"After many adventures, which, with one exception, I will not record, he has gone on ever since, sometimes flourishing, but generally dependent on his wife's exertions, who gains a scanty livelihood by dressmaking.

"The tale I mean to tell is this: There is a gardener in Abingdon -a regular character. He was missing from his native town for many years, and what had become of him no one could tell-nor can they now say for certain how he was employed during his absence. When he returned, he proved himself an adept in the arts of conjuring, pricking in the garter, thimble-rig, eating fire, and other such acquirements as the frequenters of fairs and races are wont to practise.

"Knowing Jemmy,' as he was called, entered into a treaty, offensive and defensive, with Jack Greatman, and undertook to teach him his profession, which was more suited to his inclinations than either of the three that are designated the 'learned' par excellence.

"Jack soon acquired sufficient skill to make a very good confederate, and it was resolved that the first exhibition of the partners should take place at Tubney fair, about four miles from home. A few yards of canvass, an old deal table, and a green-baize cloth, were hired, and a barrel of strong beer procured on trust, with the understanding that the cask was to be returned with the money on the following day.

"The tent was erected-the table with its green-baize covered with the instruments of art, and packs of, rather dirty, cards. The barrel was broached, tasted, and pronounced to be excellent. Jack stationed himself outside, dressed in a kind of Chinese costume; and after crying out in sonorous tones, Walk in, gentlemen and ladies, walk in and behold the wonderful, astonishing, miraculous, never-before-seen-inany-other-part-of-the-world conjurer-the Emperor Rum-fum-qui, who not only displays the wonderful secrets of his art, but gives you half-apint of strong beer into the bargain, and all for the small charge of one shilling-children and workey people half-price,' he sounded a very clear French-horn note or two through his fist, and introduced the assembled crowd to Jemmy, who was dressed as conjurers are always represented, with a long beard, a pair of spectacles, and a black cap, a long black robe, marked with hieroglyphics, a black wand in his left-hand, and a (stuffed) black cat on his right shoulder.

"Their success exceeded their warmest expectations, and Jack, who was money-taker, had his pockets full of silver and halfpence. The barrel was beginning to sound rather hollow, and as Jemmy was fatigued by his exertions, the canvass curtain was dropped, and the company informed that the performances would recommence as soon as the Emperor Rum-fum-qui had eaten his imperial meal-which consisted of two red-herrings-sojers, as he called them, sericè I presume-a bunch of inons and a tuppenny buster! Jack despised such humble fare, and went to a stand and had threepen'orth of sassiges,' standing. When he returned he found his master pulling away at the beercup, as he thought, very unfairly. A laudable spirit of rivalry was excited, and each endeavoured to get a better share than the other. The consequence was, that both of them got very tipsy; and when the company returned, Jack could not stand, but sat on the empty barrel, taking the money and laughing ready to kill himself. Jemmy tried his old tricks, but his eye and hand both failed him-he burnt his mouth with the hot tow-pulled out a front-tooth instead of the fifty yards of tape-lost his peas under the table-turned up the wrong card every time, and in trying to play with the three balls, tumbled backwards off his throne, perfectly insensible to the kicks and cuffs that were mercilessly bestowed upon him by the angry crowd, who insisted on having back their money.

"Jack demurred to this, and held out as long as he could speak or see which was not very long-for 'like master like man,' he fell over on his back, and the crowd robbed him of every shilling he had; and not contented with inflicting this mark of their indignation upon him, dulled down the tent, tore the canvass and baize to ribbons, broke up the table, chair, and cask, and made a bonfire with them.

"When Jemmy woke it was 'pitch dark.' He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and wondered where he was. By degrees, his senses returned, and all the events of the day recurred to him; but where was the tent and

the other articles that he had borrowed? Where was Jack? He stood upon his feet as well as he could, and looked about him, but in vain ; it was too dark to discern any thing; he listened attentively, and heard, as he thought, some one groaning. He approached the spot, and tumbled over somebody or something; he sat up again, and was pleased to find that it was a fellow-creature. He felt for the face, and catching hold of the nose whence the snores, which he had mistaken for groans, were progressing, gave it a hearty pull, which produced something that sounded exceedingly coarse let me alone! The voice was the voice of Jack. Jemmy began to show his joy at having found his confederate, by kicking him most vigorously. A wrangle ensued, in which a great deal of eloquence was displayed on both sides, and that led to a mutual agreement to fight it out. Finding that they could not stand up after one or two unsuccessful attempts to do so, an amicable arrangement was entered into to have a 'turn up,' sitting down.

"They were too weak to hurt one another much, and having ascertained that their honour was satisfied by the bleeding of their noses and an increased obscurity of vision, they shook hands and proceeded, relying upon each other for support, to look about for their theatre and properties. It is needless to say they could not find them. Each accused the other of having stolen them, which led to a second engagement, which terminated in their both falling perfectly insensible.

"In the morning Jack was found by a labourer snug asleep in a ditch; but Jemmy could nowere be seen. Jack recounted all he could recollect of the events of the preceding day and night, and promised his friend a quart at the dog-house,' if he would assist him in searching for his master.

"After examining every ditch and pit in the neighbourhood to no purpose, faint cries of Help me out!' were heard from a distance. Following the sounds, they came to a large rushy pool, and there was poor Jemmy standing up to his neck in a snipe-bog. Jemmy was obese and luckily fat floats. A rope was obtained, and the conjurer dragged out more dead than alive.

"The ill-success of this first attempt deterred Jack from pursuing the profession further, and he set up entirely on his own account as a singer at public meetings, and a seller of dogs to the Oxford men, of whom, sometimes, he made a pretty good thing, and might have done well if he had had a capital, and could have stood tick.

"But to return to our adventures. We finished our liquids and went to the theatre, though Tripes begged hard to be allowed; to stay behind and have one more tankard of ale. Nor should we have been able to drag him off had he not been assured that there was a capital tap next door to the barn, which was fitted up as a theatre.

"The house was nearly full, and we all behaved remarkably wellfor Oxford men-until the first piece was over; when a move was made for refreshments, Tripes leading the way. I slipped behind the scenes to congratulate old Chatty on the admirable way in which he had played his part. On inquiring for him, I was directed up a ladder to his dressing-room,' where he was changing for the afterpiece. After stumbling up the steps as well as I could, I found myself in a loft

covered with tiles, through which, in many places, a view of the heavens could be obtained; and stepping over the rafters, came to a piece of canvass, through which the rays of a rushlight cast a sickly gleam. I lifted it, and shall not readily forget the scene that presented itself to my view. There stood poor old Chatty, trembling like an aspenleaf-his teeth chattering with cold, with nothing on his lower man but his drawers and a pair of gray silk stockings. In his hands he held a pair of black silk sit-down-upons, which he was examining by the faint light of the rush.

"What am I to do?-what am I to do? Confound the ladder!confound the shoes!-it goes right across-fourteen inches long at least -not another pair in the town that will fit me-can't possibly go on in these-what can I do? uh! uh! uh!' and he shuddered with cold.

"What's the matter, old gentleman ?' I inquired, stepping forward and suppressing my laughter as well as I could-for he had his wig and pigtail on, with a handkerchief round his neck, tied in an enormous bow, that made his comical face look irresistibly ludicrous.

"Matter! Ah, my dear young friend, how d'ye do? uh! uh! uh! I am dying with cold-perished to death, and have split my breeches— Oh! that infernal ladder! there's a nail in it, and as I crept down backwards it caught me the silk is rather old (forty years I should have guessed) and as I stooped to put on these rascally tight shoes, the rent extended suddenly-crack! and here I am, overture nearly over and no breeches to go on with-uh! uh! uh!'

"I offered my services to run for a tailor, but he said there was no time for that.

"Oh, dear! oh, dear! I'll slip off-put my cloak round me, get into a fly, and never come near this infernal cold hole again. Jackman! Mrs. Jackman! Miss Jackman !'

"Sir,' replied a sweet voice; what did you want?'

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Play the overture over again, and send on Patter with a comic song-let him sing it three times over, whether he is encored or not.'

"Any thing wrong, sir?' inquired the lady, lifting aside the canvass, which separated the male from the female rooms, and tittering so enticingly that I immediately burst into a fit of laughter that made my sides ache, and old Chatty as savage as a fury.

"He stood eyeing us both alternately and muttering 'curses not loud but deep,' displaying more real passion and ferocity than he had done in playing Sir Anthony.'

6

"Let me mend them, sir; I'll not be a minute about it,' said the lady, laughing outright.

"Take them, then, you-' and bang went the tattered garments at the lady's head, and he sat down on his trunk looking spikeheads and blunderbusses at me without saying a word.

"I went to the top of the ladder, and begged one of the players to get me a glass of hot brandy-and-water; and when it was procured, returned to the old gentleman who had just recovered his garment and his temper, and made him drink it off. This rendered him happy and comfortable, and in his gratitude for my kindness, he forgot and forgave my former misconduct.

"When the overture was over, and the comic song thrice sung, we went down-old Chatty descending very gingerly to avoid the nail. The