Claud. If I fee any thing to-night why I should not marry her to-morrow; in the Congregation, where I should wed, there will I shame her. Pedro. And as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her. John. I will disparage her no farther, 'till you are my witnesses; bear it coldly but 'till night, and let the issue shew itself. Pedro. O day untowardly turned ! Claud O mischief strangely thwarting! John. O plague right well prevented! So will you tay, when you have seen the sequel. [Exem SCENE changes to the Street, Enter Dogberry and Verges, with the Watch. Dogb. A RE you good men and true? Verg. Yea, or else it were pity but they should fuffer falvation, body and foul. Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chofen for the Prince's Watch. Verg. Well, give 'em their charge, neighbour Dogberry. Dogb. First, who think you the most desartless man to be conftable. 1 Watch. Hugh Oatesake, Sir, or George Seacole; for they can write and read. Dogb. Come hither, neighbour Seacole: God hath bleft you with a good name; and to be a well-favour'd man is the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by nature. 2 Watch. Both which, master constable Dogb. You have: I knew it would be your anfwer. Well, for your Favour, Sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of fach vanity; you are thought here to be the most senseless and 1 and fit man for the Constable of the Watch, therefore bear you the lanthorn; this is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand in the Prince's name. 2 Watch. How if he will not stand? Dogb. Why, then take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the rest of the Watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave. Verg. If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince's Sub ects. Dogb. 'True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince's Subjects: you shall also make no noise in the streets; for, for the watch to babble and talk, is most tolerable, and not to be endur'd. 2 Watch. We will rather fleep, than talk; we know what belongs to a Watch. Dogb. Why you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how fleeping should offend; only have a care that your Bills be not stolen: well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid them that are drunk get them to bed. 2 Watch. How if they will not? Dogb. Why, then let them alone 'till they are sober; if they make you not then the better answer, you may fay, they are not the men you took them for. 2 Watch. Well, Sir. Dogb. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him by virtue of your office to be no true man; and for fuch kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty. 2 Watch. If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him? Dogb. Truly, by your office you may; but, I think, they that touch pitch will be defiled: the most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is, to let him shew himself what he is, and steal out of your company. Verg. You have been always called a merciful man, Partner. Dogb. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him. Verg. If you hear a child cry in the night, you muft call to the nurse and bid her ftill it. 2 Watch. How if the nurse be asleep, and will not hear us? Dogb. Why, then depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying: for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats. Verg. "Tis very true. Dogb. This is the end of the charge: you, conftable, are to present the Prince's own person; if you meet the Prince in the night, you may stay him. Verg. Nay, birlady, that, I think, he cannot. Dogb. Five shillings to one on't with any man that knows the Statues, he may stay him; marry, not without the Prince be willing: for, indeed, the Watch ought to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a man against his will. Verg. Birlady, I think, it be so. Dogb. Ha, ha, ha! well, masters, good night; an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me; keep your fellow's counsels and your own, and good night; come, neighbour. 2 Watch. Well, masters, we hear our charge; let us go fit here upon the church-bench 'till two, and then all to bed. Dogb. One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you, watch about Signior Leonato's door, for the wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil tonight; adieu; be vigilant, I beseech you. [Exeunt Dogberry and Verges. Enter Borachio and Conrade. Bora. What? Conrade, Watch. Peace, ftir not. Bora. Conrade, I say. Conr. Here, man, I am at thy elbow. [Afide. Bora. Mass, and my elbow itch'd, I thought there would a scab follow. Conr. : : Conr. I will owe thee an answer for that, and now forward with thy tale. Bora. Stand thee close then under this pent-house, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee. Watch. Some treason, masters; yet stand close. Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats. Conr. Is it poffible that any villany should be so dear? Bora. Thou should'st rather ask, if it were possible any villany should be so rich! for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will. Conr. I wonder at it. Bora. That shews thou art unconfirm'd; thou knoweft, that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak is nothing to a man. Conr. Yes, it is apparel. Conr. Yes, the fashion is the fashion. Bora. Tush, I may as well say, the fool's the fool; but feeft thou not, what a deformed thief this fashion is? Watch. I know that Deformed; he has been a vile thief this seven years; he goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember his name. Bora. Didst thou not hear somebody? Bora. Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the hotbloods between fourteen and five and thirty; sometimes fashioning them like Pharao's foldiers in the reachy painting; sometimes, like the God Bel's priests in the old church-window; sometimes like the shaven Hercules in the smirch'd worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club. Conr. All this I see, and see, that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man; but art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion ? Bora. Not so neither; but know, that I have to-night wooed wooed Margaret, the lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the name of Hero; she leans me out at her mistress's chamberwindow, bids me a thousand times, good night --I tell this tale vilely - I should first tell thee, how the Prince, Clavdio, and my master, planted and placed, and possessed by my master Don John, faw a-far off in the orchard this amiable encounter. Conr. And thought they, Margaret was Hero ? Bora. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio, but the devil my master knew, she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possest them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villany, which did confirm any flander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore, he would meet her as he was appointed next morning at the Temple, and there before the whole Congregation shame her with what he faw o'er night, and fend her home again without a husband. 1 Watch. We charge you in the Prince's name, stand. 2 Watch. Call up the right master conftable; we have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the common-wealth. 1 Watch. And one Deformed is one of them; I know him, he wears a lock. Conr. Masters, matters, (15) 2 Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed forth, 1 1 Watch. Never speak; we charge you, let us obey you to go with us. (15) Conr. Masters, masters, 2 Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you. Conr. Masters, never speak, we charge you, let us cbey you to go with us.] The different regulation which I have made in this last speech, tho' against the authority of all the printed copies, I flatter my felf, carries its proof with it. Conrade and Borachio are not design'd to talk abfurd nonfense; that is the distinguishing characteristick of the Conftable and Watch. It is evident therefore, that Conrade is attemping his own justification; but is interrupted in it by the impertinence of the men in office. VOL. II. C Bora. |