Twaddle. But he seems to have picked for himself, and slighted all our daughters.

Goodwin. Well, well, he 's no go here, now,

word for it.

take my

Squint. Come, let us go and express our minds to the parish committee.

[All go off.]

THE VILLAGE SQUIRE.

ANONYMOUS.

TIMOTHY WIGGINS, Squire. | MR. EDGERSTONE, an attorney. JONATHAN, his nephew. MR. MILLWOOD, a student.

Officer.

SCENE I. Squire's Office.

Squire. [Entering with a letter. Opens, looks at the bottom, and reads.] "Your dear brother, Pelecompeser Jozadak Wiggins." Ay, ay, from brother Daka. "State of Varmount, two miles to the westward of any place, May 8th, 1849. Dear brother. I take my pen in hand to inform you that I am well, and hope these few lines will find you the [looking close] sam." What does he mean?-I am uncle Tim. Sam lives in the Jarseys. But let us see what he says. "As I have more children than I know what to do with, and hearing that you are pretty considerable of an old bachelor, I have made bold to come to the determination to send you our Jonathan. He is a keen chap for a young one, and will beat any on 'em, only give him a chance. My wife sends love, and a blessing for Jonathan, who will be with you soon arter this letter. Barsheba, and Hetty, and Dinah, and Mabel, and Philis, and Rachel, and Dorcas, and Tabathy, and Medad, and Zephaniah, and Shishak, and Tobit, and Shaphat, send love to uncle Tim. The rest of the boys are out grubbing. Your affectionate brother, Pelecompeser Jozadak Wiggins." Children! I think so! An uncommon lot of them. Well, I am glad Daka has not quite forgotten me. A son to bring up is better than nothing.

[Enter Edgerstone.]

Edgerstone. Good-morning, Squire. Any news from the

city?

Sq. Not a bit, Mr. Eag- Eaglestone. [Edgerstone correcting him.] Ah! I have it then,—Mr. Edgerstone. A line from Vermont. Anything stirring down below?

Edger. Nothing, to my knowledge, of much consequence.

I am told they are beginniug to talk about the election of

congressman.

Sq. Indeed, I have been thinking of that myself. Who will be nominated for our district?

Edger. No one can conjecture as yet.

Sq. Who is talked of?

Edger. Several have been named, but I do not like any of them.

Sq. Which of them would you prefer?

Edger. I cannot vote for either, and I have come over this morning to see if the squire would not stand, if he should be nominated.

Sq. What did you say, Mr. Gagglestone? [Edgerstone correcting.] What! I be nominated? I go to Congress? Who says it? who believes it? It can't be so!

Edger. Yes, it can, squire, rest assured of that. Come, what say, will my friend consent to stand?

Sq. [Walking as in thought.] Why yes, I think I would. I have been wanting to sarve my country, and do something in a political way. It would tickle me considurble to go to Congress; but how can it be brought about?

Edger. It is, indeed, a point of some little difficulty; but [rather mysteriously) you know, squire, in these times, anybody can get an office whose pockets are well lined with banknotes and is not too stingy to produce them.

Sq. Well, I think you about right, Mr. Guzzledown. [Edgerstone correcting.1 Well, I declare, I can never get the hang of your name. How much do you think it will cost? would not value a hundred or two, if I could only make out something in the political way.

Edger. Say two hundred dollars, to begin with. I will go, and I hope on the strength of that to get you nominated in the county caucus. That accomplished, I will go down to the district convention and get your nomination carried there. This will take a good sum more, say, all together, one thou

sand dollars.

Sq. A thousand dollars! That is a good sum, as you say. Can't it be done for less? [Walking about.] A thousand dollars; I want to sarve my country, but if it is going to cost so much, I must think about it again.

Edger. It may not amount to that. Suppose we begin with two hundred, and see how it tells.

Sq. We will try that; I shall anyhow be getting into the political way.

Edger. I will see to your business directly. [Taking a paper

from his pocket, and approaching the squire in a half obsequious tone.] Squire Wiggins, will you do me the favor to endorse this bond?

Sq. [Takes the bond.] Five thousand dollars, to be paid a week hence. I-I-let me see. I want to accommodate if 1 can. Can you give me security?

Edger. Yes, a sound claim for twice the sum on the Bentham estate.

Sq. Well, make out your writings; I will sign the bond. One favor of you, Mr. Anglehorn. [Edgerstone correcting.] My nephew, Jonathan, is coming from Vermont to-day. I wish you would sound the boy, and give him a bright idea or two, if you find he has got any scrumption.

Edger. I will do so. The writings will be prepared shortly.

[Exit Edgerstone.]

Sq. Alone. How this will sound: Squire Wiggins, a member of Congress! Let us see. How will my speeches be reported? Why, "Mr. Wiggins rose and addressed the chair in the following eloquent and powerful speech." I' beat Clay and Calhoun, Webster and Benton, and the whole of 'em. The first of the Wigginses that ever sat upon the floor of Congress, I will hand my name down to the lates posterity. But what have I to do with posterity, crusty, fussing old bachelor that I am? Ay, true enough. There is my niece Julia, and Jonathan, that ought to be here, if he is coming. They shall be my posterity. They shall have my property and fame too, if Jonathan is worthy of either. It is only yesterday that Julia returned from the city. How it will sound there, Julia Wiggins' uncle has gone to Congress!

[Enter Jonathan.]

Jonathan. How de du, uncle Tim? Sq. What, Jonathan ! — this you? How a man knows his own relations, if he never did see them! How are you, my boy?

Jona. Pretty considerable stirring, I guess. Sq. I have just got a letter about you. would like to live with me, Jonathan?

Do you think you

Jona. I should be nationed curious feller not to, I guess. Dad telled me, if you took a notion to me, I should be dressed as I am now, all the while, and, instead of grubbing up stumps and heckeling among hummocks, and going to Ashdod to mill, I should be a gentleman, and go to college.

Sq. What made him think of college?

Jona. Cause I have always been a mighty cute lad at larning. The first winter I went to school, I larnt to read as fast

as I could talk; and the next, I beat the master in rithmetic, all holler.

Sq. That was not so slow, neither, Jonathan. Mr. Megerbone will be here to-night, and he will see if you are fit for anything. Don't despair. You may be president_yet. How that will sound,- President Wiggins! President Wiggins!

Jona. Ha ha! that it will, uncle.

SCENE II. A lawyer's office.

[Exeunt.]

Edger. [Seated at a table covered with papers and law books, and writing.] I can't leave a flaw in it, after all, that the old squire can't discover. Well, it must be so. Better as thus, than go to jail next week.

[Enter Millwood.]

Millwood. How are you, Edgerstone? Always at business,

ha?

Edger. A little engaged this morning, but I am now at your service. But what is the matter with you, Millwood? your laughter-loving eyes look sober.

Mill. A mere trifle.

Edger. Got into some of the scrapes they learn you at college, and want me to get you out?

Mill. A scrape, I allow, but I do not know that we learn it at college. I just saw you come from esquire Wiggins', did I not?

Edger. I have been there, this morning.

Mill. Did you see Julia?

Edger. Now I have it, in love! That is a scrape; ha!

ha!

Mill. Don't laugh at me.

Edger. They say Julia has grown up a very beautiful

girl?

Mill. Oh, she is divine!

Edger. Very likely.

Mill. Could you have seen her last evening, as she was handed from the carriage, you would not now speak in sarcasm. The thick coming emotions of home had crimsoned her cheek. health and grace were in every motion - joy shone in every feature. I caught one glimpse as I passed; and, oh! an angel could not have been more enchanting.

Edger. I imagine that you would make that angel yours. Mill. Yes, and here is where I am in difficulty. The old squire has forbidden my seeing her.

Edger. In such a case, I know of no statute or common

law principle in point. The law of love is altogether a singular code, that Blackstone has not mentioned.

Mill. I did not come to ask advice, but some assistance in the way of sending to her. Here are some verses I have been writing. Can you get them consigned to her hands?

Edger. Indeed, Millwood, I can't promise. Let me think; perhaps I may. Jonathan will be here shortly; I can hand them to him. Taking the verses.] Ahem! Shakspeare. In true love style, —on the envelope two hearts pierced with two darts. Love is cruel. I'll deliver them. [Exit Millwood.] If Jonathan is anything of a Yankee we will have this love-lorn Millwood in a scrape, in good earnest. [Enter Jonathan.] Jonathan Wiggins, I suppose, come to be examined. Well, Jonathan, I think you come from Vermont, where the stones are so thick that they sow their wheat with a rifle.

Jona. Yes, and where they have to grind the sheep's noses every month.

Edger. Well, my boy, can you skin a flint?

Jona. That will depend on who is a-going to have the hide. Edger. Rather keen, Jonathan. Did you ever tree an earthquake?

Jona. No, but I have ketched three young ones asleep, before now.

Edger. Can you ride a streak of lightning, bareback?
Jona. I can, after the bridle is on.

Edger. What will you take to go to New York about the quickest ?

Jona. The magnetic telegraph, to be sure.

Edger. Did you ever see the sun at midnight?

Jona. Yes, I saw a dozen suns one night, when old Lucas' mill-pond got afire.

Edger. How big are the hail-stones in your country? Jona. I heard dad say he seed one once as big—oh, as big as a piece of chalk.

Edger. Well, my boy, you will do something yet. We must go to the squire's now. Here is a paper you may hand to Julia.

Jona. [Taking the verses.] The dickens! what's that? It looks like two legs of bacon in agony.

SCENE III. Squire's office.

[Exeunt.]

[Squire reading newspaper, with spectacles on, &c. Presently enter Edgerstone.] Edger. What says the Gazette ?

Sq. Not much. Nothing unfavorable any way. We shall do something yet, Mr. Grizzleton. [Edgerstone correcting.]