Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noife? S. Dro. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys. E. Ant. Are you there, wife? you might have come before. Adr. Your wife, Sir Knave! go, get you from the door * E. Ant. Go get thee gone, fetch me an iron crow. Bal. Have patience, Sir: Oh, let it not be so. Herein you war against your reputation, And draw within the compafs of fufpect Th' unviolated honour of your wife: Once, this, your long experience of her wifdom, Plead on her part fome cause to you unknown; And let us to the Tyger all to dinner; E. Dro. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go fore. Ang. Here is neither cheer, Sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either. Bal. In debating which was best, we shall have part with neither. E. Dro. They stand at the door, mafter; bid them welcome hither. E. Ant. There's fomething in the wind that we cannot get in. E. Dro. You would fay fo, mafter, if your garments were thin. Your cake here is warm within: you stand here in the cold : It would make a man mad as a buck to be fo bought and fold. E. Ant: Go fetch me fomething, I'll break ope the gate. S. Dro. Break any thing here, and I'll break your knave's pate. E. Dro. A man may break a word with you, Sir, and words are but wind; Ay, and break it in your face, fo he break it not behind. S. Dro. It feems, thou wanteft breaking; out upon thee, hind! E. Dro. Here's too much, out upon thee! I pray thee let me in. S. Dro. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish have no fin. E. Ant. Well, I'll break in; go borrow me a crow. E. Dre. A crow without feather, mafter, mean you fo? For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a feather : If a crow help us in, firrah, we'll pluck a crow together, E. Ant. Go, get thee gone, &c. To know the reafon of this ftrange reftraint. For ever hous'd, where it once gets poffeffion. E. Ant. You have prevail'd; I will depart in quiet, And, in defpight of mirth, mean to be merry. I know a wench of excellent difcourfe, Pretty and witty, wild, and yet too gentle; There will we dine; this woman that I mean, My wife (but, I proteft, without defert) Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal; To her will we to dinner. Get you home, And fetch the chain; by this I know 'tis made Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine; For there's the houfe: that chain will I bestow (Be it for nothing but to fpight my wife) Upon mine hoftefs there. Good Sir, make haste: Since my own doors refufe to entertain me, I'll knock elfewhere, to fee if they'll difdain me. Ang. I'll meet you at that place, fome hour, Sir, hence. E. Ant. Do fo; this jeft fhall toft me fome expence. [Exeunt. The houfe of Antipholis of Ephefus. Enter Luciana, with Antipholis of Syracufe. Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot Ev'n in the fpring of love, thy love-fprings rot? If you did wed my fifter for her wealth, Then for her wealth's fake ufe her with more kind nefs; Or if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth; Muffle your falfe love with fome fhew of blindness; Let not my fifter read it in your eyes; Be not thy tongue thy own fhame's orator; Being compact of credit, that you love us; Comfort my fifter, chear her, call her wife; 'Tis holy fport to be a little vain, When the fweet breath of flattery conquers ftrife. S. Ant. Sweet miftrefs (what your name is elfe, I Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine), [know not; Lefs in your knowledge and your grace you show not Than our earth's wonder, more than earth divine, Teach me, dear creature, how to think and fpeak; Lay open to my earthy grofs conceit, Smother'd in errors, fecble, fhallow, weak, The foulded meaning of your words' deceit ; Againft my foul's pure truth why labour you, To make it wander in an unknown field! Are you a God? would you create me new? Transform me then, and to your pow'r I'll yield. But if that I am I, then well I know, Your weeping fifter is no wife of mine; Nor to her bed no homage do I owe; Far more, far more, to you do I decline. And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie: S. Ant. As good to wink, fweet love, as look on night. Luc. Why call you me love? call my fifter fo. Luc. That's my fifter. S. Ant. No; It is thyfelf, mine own felf's better part: Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart, Give me thy hand. Luc. Oh, foft, Sir, hold you ftill; I'll fetch my fifter, to get her good-will. [Exit Luciana. SCENE III. Enter Dromio of Syracufe. S. Ant. Why, how now, Dromio, where run'ft thou fo faft? S. Dro. Do you know me, Sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? am I myself? S. Ant. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyfelf. S. Dro. I am an afs, I am a woman's man, and befides myfelf. S. Ant. What woman's man? and how befides thyfelf? S. Dro. Marry, Sir, befides myfelf; I am due to a Suppoption, for the thing lain open. woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me. S. Ant. What claim lays fhe to thee? S. Dro. Marry, Sir, fuch a claim as you would lay to your horfe; and fhe would have me as a beaft: not that, I being a beaft, fhe would have me; but that fhe, being a very beaftly creature, lays claim to me. S. Ant. What is she? S. Dro. A very reverend body; ay, fuch a one as a man may not speak of, without he fay, Sir reverence : I have but lean luck in the match; and yet is the a wondrous fat marriage. S. Ant. How doft thou mean, a fat marriage? S. Dro. Marry, Sir, fhe's the kitchen-wench, and all greafe; end I know not what ufe to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the tallow in them, will burn a Lapland winter: if the lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world. S. Ant. What complexion is the of? S. Dro. Swart like my fhoe, but her face nothing like fo clean kept; for why? fhe fweats, a man may go over fhoes in the grime of it. S. Ant. That's a fault that water will mend. S. Dro. No, Sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it. S. Ant. What's her name? S. Dro. Nell, Sir;-but her name and three quarters (that is, an ell and three quarters) will not meafure her from hip to hip. S. Ant. Then fhe bears fome breadth? S. Dro. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe: I could find out countries in her. S. Ant. In what part of her body ftands Ireland? S. Dro. Marry, Sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs: S. Ant. Where Scotland? S. Dro. I found it out by the barrennefs, hard in the palm of her hand. S. Ant. Where France ? |