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any fpecies or genus of animals hitherto defcribed by naturalifts. I believe there are only three in America. They have a


very, nay a remarkably, thick skull, and, PROFESSION OF PHILOSOPHIC
probably, very little or no brains.-
They have a great, fhare of impudence;
have the appearance of confiderable cour-
age, but are nevertheless great cowards.
They run on head-long without reflection
or confideration. They often run butt up
against a tree; and were it not for the
thickness of their skulls would dafh their
heads to pieces. Their fcent is fo ftrong
and loathfome, that a man will seldom ap-
proach them. They are not indigenous to
"at all at all." One was



this country,

OWN that Socrates, Plato, Ariltotle, Defcartes, Newton, nor Locke have ever claimed this pretenfion of exclufive lately brought over from France and pre-infallibility or irrefragible authority. They fented to the prefident, who I understand enquired; they propofed; they did not keeps it for a fhow. Another is kept at infolently conftitute themfelves judges in Philadelphia, in the family of the late edi- their own cause. They regarded themtor of the Aurora, Benjamin Franklin felves with humility, as then members of Bache. A third is kept in New-York.-human fociety which they refpected. They afpired not to be the tyrants of it. They depended for their fuccefs and their glory on the free fuffrage of their fellow men. Weak and filly, ridiculously decorated with the title of philofophers, they knew not their rights, nor their functions. Can it be credited? They never faid to the people, ye are fools.

This laft is kept, I believe, by one of the
Clinton family, and is to be feen at the

office of the "American Citizen." The

As naturalifts have not given these animals a name, I will give them one; let them be christened, Pfeudo Patriot.

fruggled in a gentle manner; it railed its
Philofophy was as yet in its infancy, it
voice with modefty; it was contented
with fimple reafoning, clear and precife it
addreffed itself to reafon only. It was
only employed in favor of truth. It was
only the arts, of thinking and inftructing.

one kept by the prefident has juft arrived.
He has caufed four advertisements to be
published in the National Intelligencer
concerning his arrival from France at the
Federal city. One was imported from
dair Ireland fome years ago, and has
been bought by the widow of B. F. Bache,
dec. Another was imported fome three
or four years ago, from England; this
laft the Clintonians bought. They will
eat no food but the moft filthy; fuch as
the spoils of reputation, &c. Their drink
is generally of the ardent kind; brandy
they like the beft; efpecially the old ones. Now the reigns, fhe commands, the
Why thefe animals are kept, and for what tyranifes; fhe dazzles, confounds, fright-
purpose, I am unable to fay. It is faid ens, and fubjugates. She affects figures
the prefident is exceflively fond of the one and ornaments of difcourfe; the feduces
he keeps, fo much fo, that he even feeds the imagination, the fenfes and the paf-
him at his own table. I faw governor M fions. She is nothing but enthusiasm, in-
Kean and Dallas carefs the one in the wi- fpiration, violence, and delufion. Her o-
dow Bache's houfe, with very great ten-pinions are dogmas, her decifions oracles,
derness; and I am told governor Clinton and her reasoning myfteries. Paradox,
ftrokes the head of the one kept at the office fingularity, pride, audacity and even fanat-
icifm, all is good for her, provided the can
of the Citizen, with as much freedom as
make a noise.
he does his nephew De Witt's. But it ap-
She overturns: the def-
pears to me that the fe gentlemen have loft troys the moft refpectable monuments of
the use of their olfactory nerves, or they the human mind. She fubdues imagina-
must keep plugs in their nofes.
ry Coloffuses, aerial phanthoms and bril-
liant monsters. She reduces to afhes,
laws, libraries, thrones and altars.
laws, libraries, thrones and altars. She
feats herfelt proudly on the wreck of all
that men hold most facred and dear. All
ages bow before her. All human genera-
tions are chained at her feet. Until her
approach, universal darkness had covered
the face of the abyss. She drew the world
from Chaos.


He has cried inceffantly, virtue, liberty, truth; and virtuous men captivated by thefe words (the only defcription who know his writings) have flocked to him, in crowds, fubmitting themselves to be guided and conducted by him. The wicked fay this man frees us from the yoke of rethe ligion and laws. He reduces all to con

fcience which gives us little trouble.What can we expect better, let us join him. In the mean time, he faid; I will delpife all those who will not believe in me. Fools haften to fay, we believe in him, and the flock of fools all at once becomes a tribe the most enlightened. The multitude cry out, he speaks too well, not to of men ought to be the most wife. The fpeak what he thinks. The most eloquent. moft decifive ought to be the most enlightened. The most audacious without doubt is moft fure of fuccefs. The people are calm around him, they doubt no morethey decide, they pronounce; in reading They acquire at little expence the right of a few volumes they know every thing. difpofing like him, all paft generations, all the human race present and future. And it is more convenient and more safe to unite ourself to a party which claims the exclufive privilege of repeating impunis.

Tranflated for the BALANCE, from
French of a Pupil of ROSSEAU.

In the world fome where,
Late in the year 1802.

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ergy frightened others-either feduced by Bold affertion fwayed fome, decifive enthe charms of language, or humbled by the fublimity of pride-the latter felt embarraffed into the net of dialectics, or glided into a labyrinth of fubtilties and artificial diftinctions. When proof failed, bitter irony, vehement farcalm, eloquent invective and emphatic exaggeration fupplied its place. No question was placed in oppofition-they were received only from a very acute angle-inconvenient circumftances were easily removed-the comparifon of two terms was always on the fide of the weaker and chosen at the pleasure of the declaimer; all the rays of light were collected on one fide of the object-the reft was covered with a dark veil. The moft abfurd fuppofition infenfibly took the appearance of a demonftration in form. Abftraction victorioufly feated herself on the ruins of experience.

What could not be demonstrated was painted in the livelieft colors. The real object was disfigured-the fantaftic one dreffed with fplendor. Affertions were felf-evident, whilft the eyes were fhut to evidence. In place of it imagination created beings, which have never been seen nor ever will be seen-accomplished savages, incomparable Emilias, every poffibili ty, every impoffibility was realifed by the force of his fhining pen. Nature alone was forgotten. Men were filent, because reafoning can lay no hold on evident falfhood. Because it was neceffary to read volumes

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Mr. Davis then gave notice that he fhould move a refolution to vacate the feat of another member, unlefs the gentleman fhould think fit to withdraw and fave the houfe the trouble. He alluded to the gentleman from the ftate of Ohio, formerly the territory N. W. of the Ohio (Mr. Fearing.) He faid that the reprefentative of a territory could not be the reprefentative of a flate.

Mr. EUSTIS propofed an amendment rendering the refolution more general and extending it to all papers whether they contain any thing indecent or not. The refolution and amendment were refered to

a felect committee, and the houfe adjourn


Friday, December 31.

Columbian Congress.

Wednesday, December 29.

The house of reprefentatives received a meflage from the prefident which the Speaker flated to be of a confidential nature, upon which the galleries were cleared and the house continued for more than two hours with clofed doors. As no communication was made by the prefident to the Senate, and as it has heretofore been Mr. Gray, in the houfe of Reprefenta- cuflomary to make communications of a tives, made fome comments upon the in- confidential nature to both houfes at the creafing number of murders which happen fame time, when the fubject has been of in our large cities and in every part of the public importance, it is rational to concountry. He then moved a refolution to clude that the prefent meffage concerned the following effect: That a committee only the house of reprefentatives, otherbe appointed to inquire into the expedien-wife it would have been fent to both houcy of pafling a law forever to difqualify for holding any public office in the United States any perfon who shall hereafter be guilty of fighting any duel, or who fhall be concerned in fending, carrying or accepting any verbal or written challenge to fight a duel.

The refolution was ordered to lie on the table.

Mr. Davis called up the refolution laid upon the table by him, for inftucting the committee of elections to enquire whether John P. Van Nefs fince his election to a feat in the house has not, by accepting and exercifing the office of Major of militia,ject under the authority of the United States, forfeited his right to a feat in the houfe. Mr ELMENDORF moved to ftrike out that word not. He thought the refolution unmeaning in its prefent form. The house divided upon Mr. Elmendorf's motion which was loft by a great majority.

The queftion being taken upon the refolution it was carried.


Mr. Gray called up his refolution to difqualify perfons concerned in duels from holding any public office. The refolution was rejected upon the ground that congrefs have no conftitutional right to prefcribe the qualifications of public offi


The house adjourned till Monday morning.

Tuesday, January 4.

Mr. Grifwold faid there was one fub

referred to in the Prefident's meffage on which no order had been taken by the houfe. He thought the fubject a very important one, and hoped that the house would now confider it. He referred to that part of the meffage which speaks of the ceffion of Louifiana to France, in the following words:

"The ceffion of the Spanish province "of Louisiana to France, which took place

"in the course of the late war, will, if car"ried into effect, make a change in the af"pect of our foreign relations, which will

doubtlefs have juft weight in any delibe"rations of the legislature connected with "that fubject."

Mr. Grifwold moved the following refoluion:

Refolved, that the prefident of the United States be requested to direct the proper

officers to lay before this house copies of fuch official documents as have been received by this goverment, anouncing the ceffion of Louifiana to France, together with a report explaining the ftipulations, circumftances, and conditions under which that province is to be delivered up, unless fuch documents and report will, in the opinion of the prefident, divulge to the house particular traníactions not proper, at this time, to be communicated.

Mr. Smilie hoped the refolution would lie on the table untill to-morrow. There

might be a delicacy in the subject, which

he wifhed for time to confider.

Mr. Smith wifhed the gentleman would ftate the difference Between his refolution and the one fome time fince prfented by a gentleman from Virginia (Mr. Randolph.) He said the refolution appeared to him quite unneceffary, as a fimilar one had already been acted upon by the house.

Mr. Grifwold faid if the gentleman would give himself the trouble to read the refolution of the gentleman from Virginia he would fee the difference. That refolution called for information relative to the violations, on the part of Spain of our treaty with that power. This afks for informarelative to the ceffion of Louisiana to France. No two refolutions could be more widely different.

Mr. Smith was very defirous that the gentleman would fuffer his refolution to lie on the table.

Mr. Grifwold faid that he had not expected that that there would be any difficulty upon the fubject: but as fome gentlemen thought it was a delicate matter he would confent to let the refolution lie till


Wednesday, Jan. 5.

Mr. Grifwold called up his refolution laid on the table yefterday, for-requesting the prefident to lay before the house fuch documents as may be in the poffeffion of goverment, relative to the ceffion of Louifiana to France. The motion was oppofed, and on a divifion of the house there appeared in the affirmative 35 in the negative 32.

Mr. Randolph faid a difcuffion of that refolution would involve a fubject nearly connected with one which had lately been difcuffed with clofed doors. He would therefore move that the refolution be referred to a committee of the whole on the ftate of the Union to whom had been referred a maffage of the prefident relative to New-Orleans.

This motion gave rife to a long debate, an account of which fhall be given hereaf


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tive to that part of the published meffage
which speaks of the ceffion of Louisiana to
France. I hope, Sir, that I know enough
of the rules of the houfe to know, that
nothing which is entrufted in confidence
to the house, can be made a fubject of pub-
lic difcuffion. I repeat my motion, Sir,
that the house now confider the refolu-

Mr. Grifwold moved that the refolutions be now confidered, and faid, if the motion obtained, he should move that they be referred to a committee of the whole houfe. Since I am up, faid Mr. Grifwold. I will reply to the gentleman from Virginia, that the refolutions have no neceflary connection with the confidential mellage relative to New-Orleans; but arife out of a part of the meffage communicated at the opening of the feffion, a mes fage which has been printed and published and is in the hands of every body. They are altogether of a public nature and rela

The house divided upon the queftion,"Will the house confider the refolutions," and it was refolved in the negative, yeas 32, nays 50.

Mr. Randolph moved the order of the day that the houfe refolve itfelf into a committee of the whole, for the purpose of confidering the Prefident's Meffage, relative to the fhutting of the port of New-Orleans; and that the galleries be firft cleared.

Refolved, That this Houfe receive with Mr. Dawson rose and began to fpeak, great fenfibility the information of a difwhen he was called to order by the fpeak-pofition in certain officers of the Spanish er, and he fat down. government at New-Orleans to obftruct the navigation of the river Miffiffippi, as fecured to the United States by the most folemn ftipulations.

were cleared, and the doors clofed.-
The doors were clofed at one o'clock and
remained fo until half after three.

Friday, Jan. 7.

The houfe of Reprefentatives at 12 o'clock ordered their galleries cleared and clofed their doors. They continued in feffion with their doors closed until near 5 o'clock in the evening. Before the houfe adjourned it was refolved that the proceedings fhould be made public. The been produced by all this fecret confultafollowing are the refolutions which have tion. They are the work of Mr. Randolph.

The selectmen of Portsmouth have appointed a committee to receive charitable donations for the relief of the sufferers by the late distressing fireThis committee, in a respectful address, solicit the assistance of the United States, of all classes, but more particularly of those in easy and prosperous circumstances.And where is there a man, so destitute of feeling, as to turn a deaf ear to the request? We hope not in America !—We beg leave to suggest to the citizens of Hudson the propriety of

The motion was carried, the gallecfixing upon some mode of collecting donations.

That, adhering to that humane and wife policy which ought ever to characterise a free people, and by which the United States have always profeffed to be governed; willing, at the fame time, to afcribe this breach of compact to the unauthorised mifconduct of certain individuals, rather than to a want of good faith on the part of his Catholic Majefty; and relying with perfect confidence, on the vigilance and wifdom of the executive, they will wait the iffue of fuch meafures as that department of the government fhall have purfued for afferting the rights and vindicating the injuries of the United States :-Holding it to be their duty, at the fame time, to exprefs their unalterable determination to maintain the boundaries, and the rights of Navigation and Commerce through the river Miffiffippi, as established by exifting Treaties.

Be it our weekly task,

To note the passing tidings of the times.


Dudson, January 25, 1803.


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The Wreath.




WHY, lovely mourner! wakes the sigh of grief ?

And why that downcast look, and tearful eye? Can friendship give to sorrow no relief,

Nor dry its tears, nor check its rising sigh ?

But what has pow'r to soothe a sister's soul,
Whose only brother moulders in the clay?
Since waves of sorrow o'er each comfort roll,
And raptures cease around the heart to play?

The youth ambitious, sought a sickly clime,
His hopes of profit banish'd all his fears ;
His was the gen'rous wish of love divine

To soothe a mother's cares, and dry her tears!

Delusive hope with flatt'ring pencil drew

His safe return o'er ocean's rolling stream;
But soon the prospect faded from our view,

Hope disappear'd, for death had shut the scene.
Clos'd are those eyes which beam'd with filial love,
The flush of health has faded from his cheek,
His tongue is mute-his pulse has ceas'd to move,
. His sense has fled-and friends are left to weep!

The father ne'er shall hail his son's return,
Nor mother fold him in her fond embrace ;
Still shall affection live upon his urn,

And men'ry oft past scenes of joy retrace.

Then dry those tears, and let not friendship fail
Its healing balm around thy heart to throw ;
Could aught Philander's sympathy avail,

That lovely bosom ne'er a pang should know.

Cease ev'ry murmur-learn that Gon is just,
That what his providence directs is right;
Altho' a brother he has laid in dust,

His power can clothe him with celestial light.

May this affliction prove the sister's gain,

Teach all her thoughts above this world to rise;
May she thro' gracę, a christian hope obtain,
And meet at last her saviour in the skies!

December 20th, 1802.


HERE lies a Bachelor, whose life
Was stain'd with vice, and sour'd with strife :
Happy, had o'er his Sire been read,

Friends, bere a bachelor lies dead."



Barber. A great many old whigs are now called old tories, and fome are called whigs who joined the British.

Member. Who are they?

Barber. Why Tench Coxe and a great many more.

Member. How do you know that ?

Barber. I know it very well-I was in Moylan's dragoons watching the tories when he piloted Howe into Philadelphia,

ON Thursday laft Tench Coxe, "the
patriot of '76," feated himfelf in a bar-
ber's fhop, to be fhaved and dreffed.-
He was fcarcely feated when a member of
the Legislature came into the shop and
commenced a converfation with the man
of fuds, on the fubject of Paine and poli-panies,
tics. The following is related to have
been the latter part of that conversation,
the whole of which paffed while Coxe was
getting fhaved and dreffed. [The poor
barber however did not know that he was
then shaving Mr. Coxe.]

Question by Tench Coxe. How do you know there was no compulfion used?

Barber's anfwer. Oh! I know very well the d- -d rafcal piloted them in of his own accord-for I was told fo at the time.

COOK, the celebrated Circumnaviga-
tor, when a boy, was apprenticed in the
fmall town of Steers, in Yorkshire, to
what is termed a general fhop-keeper.
It happened one day, that a young wo-
man purchased an article at this fhop, and
in payment offered a new fhilling. The
mafter of the shop, having feen the girl pay
this new fhilling, and not finding it among
the cafh in the till, accufed young Cook
of purloining his property. Our young
hero, indignant at this charge upon his
probity, faid it was falfe; that the new
fhilling certainly was in his pocket, but
that he had replaced it by another. Uua-
ble, however to brook his master's accufa-
tion, he next day ran away, went to fea,
and from this fimple circumftance the
world is indebted to his great discoveries
as a navigator.

[London Paper.]


To City Subscribers, Two Dollars and fifty cents, payable in quarterly advances.

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To Country Subscribers, who receive their papers at the office, Two Dollars, payable as above.

To those who receive them by the mail, Two Dollars, exclusive of postage, payable in advance.

A handsome title-page, with an Index or Table of Contents, will be given with the last number of each volume.

Advertisements inserted in a conspicuous and handsome manner, in the Advertiser which accom

and circulates as extensively as the Balance. Complete files of the first volume, which have been reserved in good order for binding, are for sale -Price of the volume, bound, Two Dollars and fifty cents-unbound, Two Dollars. The whole may be sent, stitched or in bundles, to any post-office in the state, for 52 cents postage; or to any post-office in the union for 78 cents.


The following gentlemen are authorised to receive subscriptions and payments for the Balance :

Connecticut.New-Haven, Elias Beers.


By this time the patriot had gotten his nofe from between the fhaver's fingers, and ford, H. & G. Printers. Danbury, Ebenezer R. White, P. M. Sharon, G. King, jun P. M. the reader need not be told that he deferted New-London, Mr. Green, Printer. Farmington, as foon as poffible.

S. Richards, P. M.

The truth of the above in fubftance can be proved.

Lancaster Journal.]

State of New-York.-City of New-York, W. Coleman, editor of the Evening Post. Poughkeepsie, N. Power, Printer. Kinderhook, D. Ludlow, P. M. Albany, Whiting, Leavenworth and Whiting. Kingston, Mr. Elmendorf, P. M. Owego Village, E. Dana, P. M. Union, Charles Stone. Bath, D. Cameron, P. M. Walton, Elias Butler, Batavia, S. Hunt, P. M. Rhinebeck A. Potter, P. M. Walkill, the P. M. Manlius, L. Bingham, P. M. Whitestown, R. Leavenworth. Johnstown, N. Brewster, P. M. Canandaigua, Norton & Rich. ards. Schenectady, J. Shurtleff, P. M. Geneva, John T. Chapman, or the P. M. Troy, T. Collier, Printer. Herkimer, C. Wcodruff, P. M. Lansingburgh, Mr. Tracy, Printer. Marcellus, S. Bishop, P. M. Utica, the P. M. Minden, J. Herkimer, P. M. Catskill, M. Croswell, Printer.

Maryland. Baltimore, C. Pren tiss, editor of the Anti-Democrat.

Pennsylvania. -Wilksbarre, Thomas Welles' Wyalusing, Ezekiel Hyde. Williamsport, S. E Grier, P. M.

Georgia -Savannah, Seymour & Woolhopter, Printers. Augusta, Alexander Grant. Massachusetts-Boston, Mr. Hastings, P. M. Plymouth, W. Goodwin, P. M. Nantucket, W, Coffin, P. M. Worcester, I. Thomas, jun. Printer. Salem; T. C. Cushing, Printer. Leicester, the P. M. Williamstown, H. F. Penfield, Williams' College. Stockbridge, H. Jones, P. M. Lanesborough, M. Welles, P. M. Pittsfield, Ashbel Strong. Greenfield, Mr. Denio, Printer. Northampton, S. Butler, P. M. Randolph, W. P. Whiting, P. M. Great-Barrington, M. Hopkins, P. M.

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Messrs. EDITORS,


FFLICTED, as I fometimes am, with that fcorbutic difeafe, the itch for appearing in print, I have been puzzling my brain, two whole hours, to find a fubject for your BALANCE; when, at laft, one was fortunately fuggefted to me by happening to fix my eyes attentively upon the pen, which I was all this time holding in my hand. Among all the fubjects, which have engaged the attention of the learned, I do not remember to have feen an eulogy on geefe: be this, then, my theme; and I doubt not but it will appear, in the fequel of this difcuffion, that, excepting the cow and the sheep, there is no living creature upon earth, below the rank of man, which is of so much use and importance as the goofe. Were I difpofed to pursue this momentous fubje&t in its various details, I might quote the flory of the Roman hiftorian, which relates that imperial Rome itfelf was once faved from the fangs of an invading foe by the cackling of a goofe; I might expatiate on the delicious flesh of this feathered animal, and especially on the unequalled delicacy of its down, that fills the pillow upon which the lovely Chloe lays her head. I might alfo bring into view the laudable obfequiousness of geefe, manifeft





which has been evinced in their aerial
voyages, fometimes of a thousand miles,
without the help of the magnetic needle,
or a quadrant. But waving these topics;
But waving these topics,
I fhall confine myself to the quill, that this
creature fheds for the ufe of man, and
which, more than any other inftrument,
promotes human intelligence.

ed in their implicitly following their file- || his heart." That ancient mode of writ-
leader; likewife their fcientific fkill,
ing, which must have been very inconven-
ient and flow, was fuperceded by the
ufe of coloured liquids, or ink; when the
pen of iron gave place to the calamus, a
kind of reed that grew in Egypt, but the
best fort, in the fouthern provinces of
Perfia. These reeds were split and sharp-
ened to a point. Nor was it till fome-
time in the feventh century of the chriflian
era, that fome happy genius hit upon the
difcovery of making pens from the quills
of geefe, This, I fcruple not to declare,
as it refpects the republic of letters, was a-
mong the most important difcoveries,
which have been made by man. Writing
has fince been rendered unspeakably more
eafy; and the world has been furnished
with a plentiful and cheap fupply of


Hail, Goofe-quill! while I am holding thee in my hand, I will defcribe and proclaim thy worth. But for thee, in vain had Fauftus invented the art of printing. But for thee, fair fcience would famifh, or would be monopolized, as of old, by a few.

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The world had been inhabited almoft
five thousand years, before the inestimable
worth of the goofe-quill was discovered.
The old Romans used a bodkin, made of
metal or fome other hard fubftance, for a
pen; and they wrote on tables covered
with wax. Hence, a famous code of their
laws, which were engraven in this manner,
was called "the twelve tables." This
kind of pen was alfo ufed by the ancient
Arabians and Hebrews. Job, who was
probably an Arabian, and lived as early or
carlier than the time of Mofes, fpeaks of
graving with "a pen of iron." Jeremiah
"The fin of Judah is written with a
pen of iron, and with the point of a dia-
mond it is graven upon the table of their
heart.' This had an undoubted reference
to their manner of writing, like the Ro-
mans, on waxen tables, and with a pen
made of iron or a fharpened piece of a
diamond. It was alfo with reference to
this, that Solomon commanded his pupil
to write his precepts "upon the table of

Goole-quills are among the real neceffa. ries of life. They are used in almoft every kind of bufinefs. They are the props and promoters of fcience. Without their aid the wheels of bufinefs would be cbftructed; printing-preffes would be ftruck. with a deadly palfy; and the arts and sciences would fink speedily toward the state of favage barbarifm. The horse is a fine creature, and much has been faid and fung in praife of this noble animal: but were horfes to be ftruck out of existence, it might perhaps be a lefs calamity to man than the extinction of the race of geefe.

Hail, ineftimable bird! What are the gay plumage of the peacock, and the delicious notes of the nightingale, in comparison with the value of thy quills!

The eagle, that pierces the clouds and wings his daring flight toward heaven, was,

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