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ders of despair: and was strongly tempted, to put a period, to my own existence. I finally appointed a time, and place, where I intended to destroy my own life:* and then, I thought the family might enjoy some comfort, if I was gone! But, just before the time arrived; I was in the field, reflecting on my sad state; and, all at once, the words were sent, with mighty force, to my heart, "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say to this mountain, remove hence, and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Whereupon, of a sudden, my burden was removed; and faith sprang up, that "my sins were all blotted from the book of God's remembrance. He returned, straitway to the house, and called upon all within; and also, upon some of the neighbors passing by, to praise the Lord with him, that he had gained, a hope in Christ, of everlasting life! From this time, he remained calm and tranquil; but he ever entertained, many doubts and fears, that he never enjoyed, what other christians did. He still insisted, however, that himself, or some member of the family, would soon exchange "time for eternity:" and he consequently, set his family-affairs, in order; made his Will; offered himself, as a candidate for baptism; (and was emersed, by Elder E. Leavitt,) and so, continued, much the same, until his last confinement. He being, naturally of a reserved
*The influence of the tempter, sometimes over the minds, even of the best of christians, is very great; as exemplified, in the case of my father: and therefrom, may the tried and the tempted, be encouraged to hope in God; even in the most difficult, and dangerous times.
turn of mind, & apt to converse but little, therefore, (as I have before said;) he never discovered that degree of confidence, and hope in God, that many others do; and I believe, that if ever he rejoiced in the prospect of future blessedness; it was with trembling. As a christian, I never thought my father, eminent in his attainments; but as a moralist, he would rank with the very chief! Christianity includes morality. But, if morality were sufficient to save the soul, why was not Saul of Tarsus, saved; when, touching the law, he was blameless? When the commandment came, "of sinners," said he, "I am the chief."
The following is an obituary notice, from the pen of,
In Hampton, (N. H.) Sept. 7th, of a Cancer in the stomach, Col. Philip Towle, aged 61: deeply and justly lamented, of a widow, nine children; three sons, and two daughters-in-law; and an only sister. As a husband, he was affectionate: as a father, indulgent: as a brother and neighbor, he was generous and obliging. Ministers of the Gospel, to whom his house was ever free; the poor, and the needy traveller, will readily attest to his benevolence. In principle he was a republican; and ever evinced unshaken confidence, and unhesitating perseverance, in the cause of liberty, and equal rights. His moral character was unexceptionable; and amidst the pursuit of mortal honors, at an early period of life, he was led also, to seek "a title and treasure in the Heavens, glorious and immortal." Howbeit, of
religion, he made no profession, until three years prior to his decease; at which time, he was aroused to view, "eternal things impending:” and being with regard to his religious sentiments, a Free-will Baptist, he then professed "faith in the Lord Jesus Christ," by cheerfully submitting to the ordinance of baptism; sat his household affairs in order, alleging, "That he should soon be summoned, to weigh anchor, and unknown worlds explore!" His evidence of acceptance with God, however, was obscure, till within eleven days of his departure; when he expressed, a perfect reconciliation, to the will of the Most High, come life, or come death. Afterwards, calm and peaceful; while rapidly gliding down the stream of life: his prospects of future glory continued to brighten, and at length, the last solemn day, had ushered in upon him! To his children, all, he gave the solemn charge, That they should meet him in glory! and added, moreover, "I am now ready to go. I desire on earth, time no longer." Shortly after, without a struggle or a groan, his happy spirit quit her tenement of clay; and as we trust, under a glorious convoy, quickly joined, her kindred spirits, in the skies. It is now said of him, 'He is dead;' He died, surrounded by his weeping family; whom he had lived to see, in a very signal manner, blest. Of the number aforenamed, twelve, had, with himself, become the hopeful subjects of converting grace. Happy a parent's privilege at the last; that, while two of his sons, as able physicians, ministered to his temporal aid; others, he could hear, with joyful expectation say, "My honored Father, fare you well!"-"But a
little while, and we all, on Canaan's plain, will surely meet with you!"
My dear brother Philip, I still had much in mind. I felt very deeply interested for him. though I was not able to give any particular reason why, more than in former years. One week, --subsequent to the death of our father; I saw him there. It was the last time! As he left, I shall never forget my feelings. Mine eye, as well as my whole heart, followed him to the road: and I ran towards him again, to renew my charge to him. But he mounted his carriage; and not being able to manage his beast:-he also gazed wishfully after me, and passed on. When, to me it appeared-all was over!--all was done! And so it happened. I shall therefore, see his face on earth, no more, forever!! He seemed very solemnly impressed at that time; although he forced a smile. I remember, in one instance, respecting a worldly concern; he gave me some gentle reproof, saying, "that only betrays your vanity; and what does it all amount to?" He appeared to realize, (as I then noticed with pleasure,) the uncertain, and the unsatisfying nature, of all terrestrial things.
Seeing the family tolerably composed; after the decease of our father; and feeling my mind still drawn towards the South: I consequently, gained the consent of my mother, and the rest; to resign me once more, to the snares and frowns of an ungodly-world. I held one meeting, at the preaching house, near my father's; and one, in the east part of the town; of deep interest to myself, especially; not knowing the things that might be
fal me—or what vast change, any of us might undergo, "ere we all should meet again.”
JOURNEY TO THE SOUTH.
Sept. 18, 1831.-I started for Buffalo, in the State of New-York. I left my friends and home, with such emotions of sympathy, as I never had done before. But the prospect appeared truly glorious abroad; and though still, very feeble in be dy, I believed that God would go with me: and that my strength, (in a two-fold sense,) He would graciously renew. In New England, I viewed my work done, at least for a space: and there I could not stay. The short remaining period of my life, I desired to spend to the best advantage: and if any about home, had heard my counsel, and seen my example, that had not regarded them; I could not stay for such. Souls were equally as precious abroad: and to be in the work of the Lord was my element-which I believed I should see, prevailing over the world. Should it please God to prolong my life, I wished to survey, even the four quarters of the globe: and to hear, "all the dark corners of creation," resound His highest praise!!!
As i was about leaving my mother's house, a certain preacher present, observed, "I know not how you can submit, to such an undertaking. If the Lord had called me to go, I believe I should refuse." To him I could reply,-1 now truly go, with as much cheerfulness, and as little dread, as