darkness." I implore his assistance while I present some of my experience to the readers of this work, hoping and praying it may benefit some earnest seeking soul.

There was no revival or excitement at the time. I had been powerfully convicted during many revival seasons previously, but refused to accept proffered mercy. Now I became convinced of its necessity by hearing a sermon preached by a Rev. Mr. Gibb, at the "Webster schoolhouse." I feared it was the Spirit's last call, and for one week my case (to myself) seemed hopeless, but after great agony of spirit I was "by dying love" compelled to yield step by step my all to Jesus, and the evidence of my pardon was clear as the noonday sun.

"Jesus, all the day long,

Was my joy and my song"

for a while; but, being ignorant of the devices of our archenemy, and shrinking from bearing the cross, (the necessary means provided for a growth in grace,) I soon lost the witness, which caused great suffering of mind. Occasionally my faith would seem to bring me into the sunshine of God's countenance for a short time, but works were wanting, and I could not stand, and would as often relapse into darkness, till I ventured to believe I had no religion, and the consequence was, I indulged deeper in the vanities and amusements of the world than before, and for two years was tossed and driven without God and without hope, for I felt that I had grieved the Spirit.

I had no rest, but an unceasing war was carried on in my heart, for the "strong man armed " had returned with renewed forces, determined to maintain his former position as sole monarch, while the Holy Spirit, true to his trust, and faithful in his office work, ceased not day or night to warn me of my danger till, by his sweet influences and earnest pleadings, I was again driven to the feet of him whom I had wounded afresh, begging for mercy.

Again the Lord saw fit to lead me out alone by the way of the cross-the very way I had shunned, and, setting my feet down where I first left the track, I commenced my pilgrimage once more. I was enabled (trusting wholly in his strength) to confess my backslidings, and express my desires and determinations before my young companions.

Come out, and be ye separate, &c., was continually sounding in my ears and to my heart, and I resolved to exemplify the true Christian-remembering that I had, before the congregation and all heaven, solemnly promised to renounce the devil and all his works-the vain pomp and glory of the world, &c., so that I would not follow or be led by them.

I was educated to believe the blessing of holiness attainable in this life, by the teachings of the Bible and the testimony of Christians, and was acquainted with a few who enjoyed it; but I heard so little said about it, that for some years I supposed it was an extra favour lavished upon a few chosen of God as his peculiar people, nor did I have a thought that I could ever receive the blessing called sanctification. A few weeks before I united with the church I felt it my duty, for the first time, to fast, and a heavy burden it proved, as I was with a family that disapproved of such ceremonies.

I dared not disobey the divine injunction. Something whispered, Bear this cross for Chriss's sake, and, ask what ye will, ye shall receive. I yielded to the impression with faith in God, and fasted for twenty-four hours. A clean heart was the boon I craved. My faith was directed to the promise, and I was enabled to believe my heart was clean! I afterward learned it was our annual fast day. For awhile I was filled with holy joy—a solid peace—an unshaken faith -and was impressed that it was my duty to live to glorify God. It seemed to me that it would be a pleasant work to leave my friends and home, and go to heathen lands, and teach those benighted souls the way to heaven. Oh the anxiety I had for usefulness! I did not understand well the nature of the blessing I had received, nor how to retain it. At times I believed the work was wrought, and my heart was filled with a peace that flowed like a river-such a peace of which the world knows nothing. Again, I was unable to preserve this enjoyment, not yet knowing well how to trust in Jesus by the moment. At a later period I read all the testimony I could get for information.

The life of Hester A. Rogers was very encouraging, and Wesley's Plain Account of Christian Perfection" was a key to open to my mind many precious truths of the Bible that had hitherto seemed like a mystery. I studied the Scriptures much upon my knees, fasted and wrestled in

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prayer till I rejoiced in the clear assurance of the possession of free, full, and present salvation. My feet pressed the Rock; my heart believed, and at times my joy knew no bounds. For two years I had seasons of sweet communion with God, amidst the most perplexing trials of my life. During this time I had unavoidable clouds to pass through, times they seemed like blackness; but the most of the time I could realise the Lord strengthening and bidding me trust and somein him. When the winds raged, and waves ran high, I recognised the voice of Him who bade the winds "be still;" and when the pruning-knife was applied to the branches I knew that in due season would the command, It is enough, be given. I, at times, however, had doubts, understanding so imperfectly how the "just live by faith," and not by sight, I feared, when I was not filled with "joy unspeakable," that I had in some way grieved the Spirit. In the year 1847 light burst in upon my prospects, and for one year my enjoyment was more clear and constant, "refreshing showers were generously distilled upon my willing I feasted upon heavenly manna, and drank of the water of life so 66 divinely pure.'

heart.

Eternity alone can disclose the joys I felt in the full assurance of sins washed away. Oh the unfathomable depths of love felt in the soul under the exercise of a faith obtained by constant self-denial, fasting, and prayer! But my sun was again darkened; my health gradually failed, and with it (I imagined) went the witness of the fulness. Oh the desolation of my heart!

My mind at times seemed bordering on despair, and was brought to the very gates of death without the faith that I was saved, but with only the hope of being saved. But God was merciful in listening to my earnest prayers for my recovery. While cares, and trials, and darkness of mind altogether seemed beyond endurance, again a ray of light would beam down through the unbelief, and discover to me that the hand of God was in all this, and His cheering words to me were, Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnance of affliction. As my health improved, my faith increased, and I was enabled to claim an undoubted witness of my approbation with God once more, and could say, as did Wesley, I felt "my heart strangely warmed."

I felt as though all my powers of usefulness were taken from me till I received the full baptism of the Holy Ghost. Friday evening, January 13, 1860, I attended a weekly prayer-meeting, where assembled a few who professed to enjoy perfect love. I felt that the time was come for me to venture out. I took all I was, all I had, and all I had done, and brought them to the Lord, feeling, I can but perish if I go; and also all things are now ready; what more can I do? Oh how sensibly I felt the unworthiness and meanness of my offering! My heart, cares, and burdens, to put upon my Saviour! My life and all were laid at his feet, and I waiting in almost breathless anxiety for an answer, but what an awful stillness reigned! Still I cried, I can do nothing more. Unbelief seemed now to be all I had to defeat me; and what a giant foe! I had not even a "pebble from the brook" to cast at him, as I thought and saw and realised more than ever before my utter helplessness. Oh the agony of that hour! It seemed that soul and body must separate; but I would sooner die than yield to the adversary. I looked up for light, but beheld darkness. I prayed for an increase of faith, but a darkness had filled the place where my heart belonged-a something dark, impenetrable, powerless, and no effort of my own could remove or affect it. I gladly would have torn it from my breast, but it was work for the Spirit to perform. At this awful moment despair, with its dismal form, presented itself to claim a night, but God's grace was sufficient" then, for "I knew in whom I believed," and I was enabled to hurl it into oblivion. I was sensible that this was the crucifying process, and felt this was the fire that consumes the dross. Unbelief seemed magnified. Now I saw before me naked faith. I had seen it in print, and heard it talked of, but, as much experience as I had passed through, I never felt what its power must be till now. All I could do was to plead the promise, I will receive you.

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Here I found a foothold, and resolved I will try to believe from henceforth that Jesus saves me. I returned home feeling consecrated, but no evidence was given. I retired, to rest but little. The following morning my heart of stone seemed to be broken in pieces, and in a few hours all darkness was eradicated, and my heart seemed a heart of flesh, cleansed and new!

Though this account may seem strangely expressed, it was real, and appeared to me a far more painful exercise than I can state. Household cares and temptations were so intermixed with these exercises that I wanted greater light. I entered my closet, and told my heavenly Father all about my fears, for I wanted to honour Him. I could not pray for a clean heart, for I felt it was clean. There was a perfect inward calmness,-no agony of soul, but something was wanting; and just then, siowly, noiselessly, and lovingly, before my spiritual vision moved down the Three in One. Oh what a precious sight! I heard no audible voice, but the Saviour seemed to impress a language on my heart, signifying that he had come with the Father and the Spirit to take up his abode in my heart. Oh, what a holy sweetness filled my soul! Not only did I feel peace in my heart, but I seemed placed in an atmosphere where I inhaled it, and a halo of sweetness and love encircled me.

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This manifestation was so unlike anything I had looked for, although I had often said "any way," that I feared to believe. I left my closet, and took my Bible, and opened to Isaiah, 62nd chapter, and the first words I saw were these: Behold, the Lord hath proclaimed unto the end of the world, Say ye to the daughter of Zion, Behold, thy salvation cometh; behold, His reward is with Him, and His work before Him. And they shall call them the holy people, the redeemed of the Lord; and thou shalt be called, sought out, a city not forsaken." Each word, as I read, sunk like a weight into my heart. Victorious faith sprang up at once, and I cried, I am redeemed—my salvation is come—and Jesus saves me now! None but a recipient of this purity of heart can ever know the heights, and depths, and richness of such an entertainment. 'Tis the manna that satisfies the hungry, 'tis a cup of the "water of life" that we are permitted to quaff, and that quenches, for the time being, the thirsty

soul.

How a sense of fulness is appreciated after the realisation of the hungering, thirsting, and emptiness which I think necessarily precedes this blessing. Now I possessed a holy confidence that enabled me to go out and proclaim what God had done for me. My peace has since flowed on like a river, with the exception of a few trials of my faith.