into her ftomach.

An entire lofs of appe

tite took place, and a perpetual fickness.

God now vifited her foul with more peculiar manifeftations of his love. She believed her end to be approaching, and feemed to be more filled with unspeakable joy as the day drew nigh, which for ever terminated all her forrow.

As I did not apprehend my dear mother's exit would happen fo foon, but flattered myfelf with the prolongation of the life I defired, I did not commit to paper, any particulars, till about three days before her diffolution, by which means I have been unable to recollect many of her pious fentiments. Since her decease, upon looking over a kind of diary, which her humility charged me never to open in her life-time, I have met with the following meditation on the last birth-day fhe spent on earth, which will inform you of the state of her mind, better than any vague defcription my words can convey. I tranfcribe it without one alteration in her own eafy familiar ftile. And if I do wrong in making a private meditation thus public, I as publicly ask her forgiveness, and when my plea is, that I hope it may revive fome humble fpirit, I am perfuaded it will be granted.

April

T

April 19, 1784.

"This is the day of my birth. Oh, my "gracious Lord, make me fenfible of thy "mercies!—I would be all praise and "thanksgiving. I would praise thee for my birth, for there thy mercies began, and "they have followed me all my days.Deareft Lord, I cannot exprefs my thanks; "but thou feeft my heart, and I truft feest "me longing to be thankful!-Oh! that I "could render praise and gratitude to thee, "who, I humbly truft, haft new created

my foul. This, this alone, makes the day of natural birth to be looked back to "with comfort. Oh for a grateful heart!Help me, gracious Lord, to praife thee for

all that is past! My heart is full.—I want "words.- Oh help me to look forward!"I have lived here a long time; help me to "look beyond the grave; to look to thy

right hand.-Increase my faith, help me "to believe that thou haft indeed called me "by thy grace; begun the good work, and that thou wilt carry it on and keep me, that where thou, my bleffed Jefus art, "there thy poor unworthy fervant shall be! "Oh, glory be to thy name, the work is <<thine own, and my truft is in thee! Oh

keep me and fave me, bleffed Lord, I give myfelf to thee!-Oh bring me to thofe bleffed manfions of peace, where I fhall be "able to praife thee; where I fhall be deli"vered

1

"vered from the painful clog of this body, which weighs down my foul!- Prepare "me for thy coming!-O make me watch* ful, and ready to meet thee, when thou "fhalt please to fend thy meffenger, Death, " for me!-Oh make the pain I continually "feel of use to me.-Sure I cannot be long

here! O quicken my foul!-Fix my "affections on heavenly things.-Oh give "me clearer views!-Oh give me a fenfe of "pardoned fin.-Wafh me in thy precious "blood.Cloath me with thy perfect righteoufnefs.Conform me more to thy "divine image; and help me to meet death, "as a kind friend, come to fetch me home "to thee!-Amen, Amen, thou deareft "Lord."

I will now return to her ftate of mind a few days before her departure. And I truft it will afford much fatisfaction and comfort to you, to fee one thus happy in the period of diffolution, who had fat leng under your miniftry; and by this convinces you, fhe had attained real benefit, as well as a tranfient delight. At the fame time I hope it will be admitted as an evidence of the truth of the principles she had espoused, and their ability to fupport in a dying hour. Religion fhines in every fituation and circumstance of life, but as an incontef tible evidence of its own purity and power,

it

to

it is moft tranfcendent on the eve of diffolution. The Chriftian, then, "like the "fun, looks largeft when he fets." Humanity naturally trembles at the idea of death: clofe the eyes on every, the most beloved objects; to become a pale lifelefs corps; to be enclosed in the narrow limits of a coffin; to become offenfive to thofe who almost adored us; and concealed from mortal view, of worms to be configned over to the prey and corruption, are circumstances which we fhudder at the thought of inevitably experiencing.

But, Sir, to fee a foul with all these views before it, not merely arm'd with fortitude; not merely made willing by refignation; but fmiling with calm delight at their appearance, and rejoicing with unfpeakable joy at their fenfible approach. Is not this a fact that fpeaks for itself? Is not this an argument An undeincontrovertibly self-evident? niable proof of the fupport which true religion can impart to its fincere votary? Is it not an animating comment upon the promife made to the believer, "I will never "leave thee, no; nor ever forfake thee?" As one whofe feelings in a more striking manner described the above portrait, I hope without exaggerating, or over colouring the piece, I can prefent my dearest mother.

B

The

..

The first proof I refer to is the letter which fhe dictated on Sunday, the 7th of November, and which was delivered to you the next day. -With your permiffion I will print it with the other particulars.-Other evidences of the joyful state of her mind, may be collected from what fhe faid to me and others. on her death bed. On my return from St. Peter's, Cornhill, that evening, she took hold of my hand and feemed much animated, God, faid fhe, my dear, has been very gracious this afternoon; he fent my. fon "from me, but he fent himself to me.-0 "I am very happy! I am going to my man"fion in the fkies. I fhall foon be there ; "and Oh! I fhall be glad to receive you to "it; you fhall come in, but you shall never 66 go out, no never." Paufing a little, fhe faid, "If ever you have a family, tell "the children they had a grandmother that "fear'd God, and found the comforts of it "on her death bed." At another time, fhe addreffed me, "Let me tell "Let me tell you my own experience; when you come to lie upon your death bed, an interest in Jefus will "be found a precious poffeffion.-O what σε a mercy of mercies! that we two poor "creatures fhould be brought out of the bondage of Egypt, and united together "in the kingdom of God's dear Son."O my dear fon! I exhort you to preach

"the