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Monday, February 12.- I heard an excellent sermon to-day from one I was prejudiced against. From this circumstance I would learn to despise no man, for the Lord can make use of any man to convey instruction to others. This evening I went to see a dear friend, when I uttered many idle words, and repeated a conversation to the prejudice of another, trying to raise myself at their expense. May this be a warning to me, and teach me to set a watch before my mouth, and to keep the door of my lips, even when with a bosom friend.
Tuesday, February 13.-An unprofitable day.—I had no time in the morning for reading and serious prayer. Company most of the day ;—tried to pray before dinner, but could not to any purpose. I have been very miserable all day under the slavery of the world ;-wishing to be released from vain company. Lord, pardon the sins of this day !
Wednesday, February 14.–Worse, if possible, than yesterday. Dined out in a large company-paid visits in the evening—was much indisposed in body, and my whole soul sick. The bondage of the people of the world grows daily more insupportable.
I must give them up in order to be happy. Without God, this world is a miserable place ; I will, therefore, take him for my portion.
Sunday, February 18.—This morning my devotions were cold and languid. I went to church and heard sermon ;
I came home much dissatisfied with it and with myself. In the afternoon I heard Mr Gibson of St Cuthbert's, on our Saviour the light of the world ; 1770.]
but got little benefit.
little benefit. I lamented my case before the Lord, but got no 'comfort. I have neither light nor faith at present, and am afraid of falling again into the world. My life is bitter ; I know not what will become of me, if the Lord does not take compassion on me, and deliver me from my present spiritual bondage.
Sunday Evening.-Upon taking a review of last week, I find I have lost ground, and am farther from the mark than when I began. I see several causes of this:--viz. want of watchfulness, after the sacrament, which is a time in which the enemy is always most busy to draw away my soul from God. I therefore resolve, through God's grace, if ever I have another opportunity, to double my diligence in prayer, after partaking of that blessed ordinance. I have been more engaged in company than usual. This is a snare to the feet, which I pray God I may be enabled for the future to avoid as much as possible. I have been very much afflicted to day with a suggestion from the enemy of souls, that it was in vain I sought the Lord, seeing I got no answer to my prayers; that it mattered not what I did, for the Lord would not come the sooner. Blessed be God, I saw it was a temptation and did not yield to it. No, I will wait on thee, O blessed Jesus, in a way of duty, knowing that it is in the use of the means that thou art most frequently found; and as thou hast given me this light, if I follow it not, I thereby cut myself off from all hope of finding thee. The Lord hath said, Seek and ye
shall find,-ask and it shall be given. What a gracious command is this ! No limitation; we are commanded to come, and ask whatever we will. Lord, I beseech thee, give me a new heart to love thee, to praise thee, to glorify thee. I beseech thee to give me a lively faith-to fill me with the Holy Ghost-to
sanctify me wholly-to unite me unto thee, and make me partaker of thy holiness—to preserve me unspotted from the world—to blot out all my transgressions renew me after thy image, and save me to the uttermost. Employ me, if it be thy will, in promoting thy glory on earth, and when thou hast no more to do with me here, take me to thyself to enjoy thee for ever. I beseech thee to grant thy salvation also to all with whom I am connected ;-my husband, parents, friends, acquaintances, and servants. Grant that all my household may receive thy blessing, and believe on thee to the saving of their souls. I beseech thee also for thy church. Pour out thy Spirit on thy ministers. May they be messengers of peace to many souls. May thy kingdom come with power to this land. I beseech thee also for the poor ignorant heathen. O send thy gospel unto them, and cause thy light to arise on the dark corners of the earth. Have compassion on those who are under delusion and superstition ; open their eyes and cause them to repent, and turn to thee, the living God, from idols. And finally, O Lord, grant that thy will may be done on earth as it is done in heaven. Let all men praise thee. Let every thing thou hast made rejoice in thee, thou Creator and Redeemer. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, now and for ever. Amen,
ESTABLISHES FAMILY WORSHIP.
Lady Glenorchy establishes family worship in her house_Extracts from
Diary from February 19, to March 4, 1770—Plan of conducting worship in St Mary's Chapel not approved of by many religious characters in Edinburgh-Extracts from Diary from March 7, to May 7, 1770_Lady Glenorchy becomes acquainted with Mr Wesley-Is urged to join his Society, which she declines She occasionally hears his preachers Extracts from Diary from May 12, to June 3, 1770 Lord Glenorchy gets possession of Barnton-A great many workmen employed in embellishing it-Lady Glenorchy erects a chapel there -Much good done by this means-Extracts from the Diary from June 4, to 18, 1770.
It is abundantly obvious, that the regular worship of God in the family, is in every case of the greatest importance to the interests of religion, and more especially so when there happens to be a very numerous household. Of this truth Lady Glenorchy was deeply sensible. Circumstanced as she was, however, the introduction of this excellent practice into her family was a work of no small difficulty. Nevertheless, to a person of her integrity, piety, and decision of character, all things, if seen to be duty, are possible. Hence, at this time she actually accomplished the desire of her heart, and raised an altar to God in her house, the pure flame of which was never afterwards during her whole life extinguished, and around which, every morning and every evening, fervent prayer and grateful praise ascended to the God of the families of the whole earth. This event she records in her Diary with much humility and thankfulness. She also occasionally had a sermon delivered in her drawing-room at the Abbey of Holyroodhouse. Yet she laments with great feeling the little progress she made in the divine life, in the midst of this and many other means of grace which she enjoyed.
Monday, February 19, 1770.—This day I have felt more life in my soul than for a week past. Lord Glenorchy told me this morning that he would allow me to take a chaplain into the family as soon as Lord Breadalbane was gone. I went to Lady Maxwell, and sent for Mr Middleton, and invited him to come and officiate as chaplain during the absence of Lord Breadalbane. At that time I felt myself in the spirit of devotion ; but on coming home I found a friend there who has often been a snare to me. Being very agreeable, with her I entered into idle conversation; and although my conscience frequently checked me, yet I went on till after tea. Thus did I knowingly trifle away time against conviction, which brought darkness on my mind. O when shall I live wholly to God !
Tuesday, February 20.- I prayed this morning for help to be faithful through the ensuing day. In some measure this has been granted. I paid two visits this morning, where I was enabled to speak boldly for the truth. Before dinner, I spoke seriously to a person of whom I have hitherto been much afraid. Had company to dinner, and did not feel ashamed of owning my singularity. I went in the evening to the meeting, and heard a good sermon on these words, “Lord, help me.” It was very suitable to my case in every thing I need his help. Without it I must quickly perish.