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HE COULD N'T KILL HIMSELF.

But not enough for him-that would n't do,
Poison and hanging must have shooting too!
So as from the bridge's parapet he swung,
He took a pistol at his belt that hung,
And at one shot to clear all mortal pains out,
He raised it to his head to blow his brains out!
Merely exclaiming wildly--" If I'm not

Dead in a moment, Mounseer! I'll be shot."-
But no!

Poison and rope and pistol, were no go!
The pistol-ball which would not pierce his brain,
Went through the rope, and cut it right in twain ;
So freed from shooting, and from hanging pain,
He fell into the water!-and gulped quick

So much, he brought up all the arsenic !

And last the river, so his luck did crown him,
In that part was n't deep enough to drown him!
So he gained this conviction by his fall:-
He could not no how kill himself at all!—

"Look here,

Mounseer,"

Said he;

"You never did see sich a chap as me!
I've swallowed poison full an ounce ;
I hung myself with lots of bounce;
I tried to shoot myself; but pounce

181

I plumped into the river down;

And, dash me! then I could n't drown.
Well-I can't teach you how to die,
So never more will try ;

Not I.

Bleed till your veins are empty, do,

Or die by charcoal two and two;

Have your own way, my boys, and I'll have mine, And as I cannot die, why let me dine;

As sure as I'm a saved and hungry sinner,

I'm peckish. Do-lord love ye-bring my dinner!

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