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Shall be for me: and to requite you further,
Enter Bertram, and the two French Lords.
i Lord. On my life, my lord, a bubble.
i Lord. Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge, without any malice, but to speak of him as my kinsman; he's a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality worthy your lordship's entertainment.
2 Lord. It were fit you knew him, left, reposing too far in his virtue, which he hath not, he might at some great and trusty business in a main danger fail you.
Ber. I would, I knew in what particular action to try him.
2 Lord. None better than to let him fetch off his drum ; which
you hear him so confidently undertake to do.
i Lord. I, with a troop of Florentines, will suddenly furprize him; such I will have, whom, I am sure, he knows not from the enemy: we will bind and hood-wink him so, that he shall suppose no other but that he is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries, when we bring him to our own tents; be but your lordship present at his examination, if he do not for the promise of his life, and in the highest compulfion of base fear, offer to betray you, and deliver all the intelligence in his power against you, and that with the divine forfeit of his foul upon oath, never trust my judgment in any thing. C 5
2 Lord. O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum; he says, he has a stratagem for't ; (20) when your lordship sees the bottom of his success in't, and
(20) When your Lordship sees the bottom of his Success in't, and to what Metal this Counterfeit Lump of Ours will be melted, if you give him not John Drum’s Entertainment, your Inclining cannot be remov’d.] Lump of Ours has been the Reading of all the Editions. Oare, according to my Emendation, bears á Conso. nancy with the other Terms accompanying, (viz. Metal, Lump, and melted) and helps the Propriety of the Poet's Thought: For so one Metaphor is kept up, and all the words are proper and suitable to it. But, what is the Meaning of John Drum's Entertainment Lafeu several times afterwards calls Parolles, Tom Drum. But the Difference of the Christian Name will make None in the Explanation. There is an old Motley Interlude, (printed in 1601) call'd, Jack Drum's Entertainment: Or, the Comedy of Pasquil and Katharine. In this, Jack Drum is a Servant of Intrigue, who is ever aiming at Projects, and always foil'd, and given the Drop. And there is another old piece (publish'd in 1627) call'd, Apollo foroving, in which I find these Expressions Thuriger. Thou Lozel, hath Slug infeted you?
Why do you give such kind Entertainment to that Cobweb? Scopas. It mall have Tom Drum's Entertainment ; a Flap
with a Fox-tail. But Both these Pieces are, perhaps, too late in Time, to come to the Assistance of our Author: so we must look a little higher. What is said here to Bertram is to this Effect. " My Lord, as
you have taken this Fellow [Parolles] into so near a Confi« dence, if, upon his being found a Counterfeit, you don't “ casheer him from your Favour, then your Attachment is not
to be remov’d.” l'll now subjoin a Quotation from Holing swed, (of whose Books Shakespeare was a most diligent Rea.. der) which will pretty well ascertain Drum's History. This Chronologer, in his Description of Ireland, speaking of Patrick Scare Sefield, (Mayor of Dublin in the Year 1551,) and of his extravagant Hospitality, subjoins, that no Guest had ever a cold or forbidding Look from any Part of his Family: so that his Porter, or any other Officer, durft not, for both his Ears, give the fimplest Man, that resorted to his House, Tom Drum's Entertainment, which is, to hale a Man in by the Head, and thrust him out by both the shoulders,
to what metal this counterfeit lump of Oar will be melted, if you give him not John Drum's entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed. Here he comes.
Enter Parolles. i Lord. O, for the love of laughter, hinder not the humour of his design, let him fetch off his drum in any hand.
Ber. How now, Monsieur ? this drum sticks forely in your disposition.
2 Lord. A pox on't, let it go, 'tis but a drum.
Par. But a drum! is’t but a drum! a drum so loft ! there was an excellent command ! to charge in with our horse upon our own wings, and to rend our own foldiers.
2 Lord. That was not to be blamed in the command of the service; it was a disaster of war that Cæfar himself could not have prevented, if he had been there to command.
Ber. Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success : some dishonour we had in the loss of that drum, but it is not to be recover'd.
Par. It might have been recover’d.
Par. It is to be recover'd; but that the merit of service is seldom attributed to the true and exact performer, I would have that drum or another, or hic jacet
Ber. Why, if you have a stomach to't, Monsieur ; if you think your mystery in stratagem can bring this instrument of honour again into his native quarter, be magnanimous in the enterprize and go on; I will grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you speed well in it, the Duke shall both speak of it, and extend to you what further becomes his greatness, even to the utmost fyllable of your worthiness.
Par. By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it.
Par. I'll about it this evening; and I will presently pen down my dilemma's, encourage myself in my cer
tainty, put myself into my mortal preparation ; and, by midnight, look to hear further from me.
Ber. May I be bold to acquaint his Grace, you are gone aboat it ?
Par.'I know not what the success will be, my Lord; but the attempt I vow.
Ber. I know, th’art valiant; and to the possibility of thy soldiership, will subscribe for thee; farewel. Par. I love not many words.
Exit. i Lord. No more than a fish loves water.
Is not this a ftrange fellow, my Lord, that fo confidently seems to undertake this business, which he knows is not to be done; damns himself to do it, and dares better be damn'd than to do't?
2 Lord. You do not know him, my lord, as we do ; certain it is, that he will steal himself into a man's favour, and for a week escape a great deal of discoveries; but when you find him out, you have him ever after.
Ber. Why, do you think, he will make no deed at all of this, that so seriously he does address himself unto?
2 Lord. None in the world, but return with an invention, and clap upon you two or three probable lies ; but we have almost imboss’d him, you shall see his fall to night; for, indeed, he is not for your lordship's respect.
i Lord. We'll make you some sport with the fox, ere we cafe him. He was first smoak’d by the old lord Lafeu; when his disguife and he is parted, tell what a sprat you shall find him; which you shall see, this very night.
2 Lord. I must go and look my twigs; he shall be caught.
Ber. Ycar brother, he shall go along with me.
[Exit. Ber. Now will I lead you to the house, and shew you The lafs I spoke of. i Lord. But you fay, she's honeft.
Ber. That's all the fault : I spoke with her but once, And found her wondrous cold; but I sent to her, By this same coxcomb that we have i'th' wind, Tokens and letters, which she did re-send; And this is all I've done: fhe's a fair creature, Will you go see her ?
1 Lord. With all my heart, my lord. [Exeun.
SCENE changes to the Widow's House.
Enter Helena, and Widow.
I know I
Wid. Tho'my estate be fallen, I was well born,
Hel. Nor would I wish you.
Wid. I should believe you,
Hel. Take this purse of gold,