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Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed.
Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. My neice is already in the belief that he's mad; we may carry it thus for our pleasure and his penance, 'till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him ; at which time we will bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of mad. men ; but see, but fee.
Enter Sir Andrew. Fab. More matter for a May morning.
Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it: I warrant, there's vinegar and pepper in't.
[Sir Toby reads. Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy feldow.'
Fab. Good and valiant.
Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind why I do call thee fo; for I will fhew thee no reason for't.
Fab. A good note; That keeps you from the blow of the law.
Sir To. Thou com'A to the Lady Olivia, and in my fight jhe uses thee kindly; but thou lies in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for.
Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less.
Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home, where if it be thy chance to kill meFab. Good. Sir To. Thou kill A me like a rogue and a villain.
Fab. Still you keep o'th' windy fide of the law: good.
Sir To. Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon one of our souls : he may have mercy upon mine, but my hope is better, and fo look to thyself. "Thy friend as thou useft him, and thy /worn enemy, Andrew Ague.cheek.
Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him.
Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by-andby depart.
Sir To. Go, Sir Andrew, scout me for him at the corner of the orchard like a bum-bailiff ; so soon as ever thou feeft him, draw; and, as thou drawst, swear horribly; for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twang'd off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earn'd him. Away. Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Exit.
Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter ; for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding ; his employment between his lord and my neice confirms no less; therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth; he will find, that it comes from a clodpole. But, Sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of month ; set upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valour, and drive the gentleman, (as, I know, his youth will aptly receive it,) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill
, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices.
Enter Olivia and Viola. Fab. Here he comes with your neice; give them way, 'till he take leave, and presently after him.
Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge.
Exeunt. Oli. I've said too much unto a heart of stone, And laid mine honour too unchary out. There's something in me, that reproves my fault ; But such a head-strong potent fault it is, That it but mocks reproof.
Vie. With the fame 'haviour that your passion bears, Goes on my master's grief.
Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture ; Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you : And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow.
What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,
Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my master.
Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that, Which I have given to you?
Vie. I will acquit you.
. A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. [Exit.
Enter Sir Toby and Fabian.
Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't; of what nature the wrongs are thou haft done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end ; dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly.
Vio. You mistake, Sir; I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.
Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you; therefore, if
hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him, what youth, Atrength, skill, and wrath can furnish man withal.
Vio. I pray you, Sir, what is he ?
Sir To. He is Knight, dubb'd with unhack'd rapier, and on carpet confideration ; but he is a devil in private brawl ; souls and bodies hath he divorc'd three ; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that fatisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulcher : hob, nob, is his word; give't, or take't.
Vio. I will return again into the house, and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely others to taste their valour : belike, this is a man of that quirk.
Sir To. Sir, no: his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury ; therefore get you on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless
you undertake that with me, which with as much safety you might answer him ; therefore on, or ftrip your sword stark naked ; for meddle you muft, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you.
Vie. This is as uncivil, as ftrange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the Knight what my offence to him is : it is something of my negli. gence, nothing of my purpose.
Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, ftay you by this gentleman ’till my return.
[Exit Sir Toby. Vio. Pray you, Sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know, the Knight is incens'd against you, even to a mortal arbitrement ; but nothing of the circumstance more. Vio
. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise to read him by his form, as you are like to find in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, Sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria : will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can.
Vio. I fall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that had rather go with Sir Priest than Sir Knight: I care not who knows so much of my
mettle. [Exeunt. Enter Sir Toby, and Sir Andrew. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not feen such a virago : I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard and all; and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable ; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They say, he has been fencer to the Sophy.
Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.
Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified : Fabian can scarce hold him yonder.
Sir And. Plague on't, an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damn'd ere I'd have challengʻd him. Let him let the matter lip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet,
Sir To. I'll make the motion ; ftand here, make a good shew on't
This shall end without the perdition of souls ; marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I
[ Afide. Enter Fabian and Viola. I have his horse to take up the quarrel ; I have persuaded him, the youth's a devil.
[To Fabian Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him ; and pants and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.
Sir To. There's no remedy, Sir, he will fight with you for’s oath fake : marry, he had better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds That now fcarce to be worth talking of ; therefore draw for the supportance of his vow, he protests he will not hurt you.
Vio. Pray God defend me! a little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man.
Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious.
Sir To. Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will for his honour's fake have one bout with you ;, he cannot by the duello avoid it; but he has promis’d me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on, to't.
[They draw. Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath!
Ant. Put up your sword ; if this young gentleman Have done offence, I take the fault on me; If you offend him, I for him defie
[Drawing Sir To. You, Sir ? Why, what are you?
Ant. One, Sir, that for his love dares yet do more Than you have heard him brag to you he will. Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.
[Draws. Enter Officers. Fab. O good Sir Toby, hold ; here come the officers. Sir To. I'll be with you anon. Vio. Pray, Sir, put your sword up if you please.
[To Sir Andrew.