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Vio. No, not a grice : for 'tis a vulgar proof, That very oft we pity enemies.
Oli. Why then, methinks, 'tis time to smile again;
Vio. Then weitward hoe :
Oli. Stay ; pr’ythee tell me, what thou think't of
you do think, you are not what you are. Oli. If I think so, I think the same of you. Vio. Then think you right, I am not what I am. Oli. I would you were, as I would have you be !
Vio. Would it be better, Madam, than I am? I wish it might, for now I am your fool.
Oli. O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
Vio. By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
Oli. Yet come again ; for thou, perhaps, may'st move That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
[Exeunt. SCENE changes to an Apartment in Olivia's
Sir To. Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason. Fab. You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrevo.
Sir And. Marry, I saw your neice do more favours to the Duke's serving-man, than ever she bestow'd on me. ! I saw't, i'th' orchard.
Sir To. Did she see thee the while, old boy, tell me i that?
Sir And. As plain as I see you now. Fab. This was a great argument of love in her toSir And. 'Slight! will you make an ass o' me ? Fab. I will prove it legitimate, Sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.
Sir To. And they have been Grand Jury-men since before Neab was a sailor.
Fab. She did shew favour to the youth in your fight, only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver
. You should then have accofted her, with some excellent jefts, fire-new from the mint ; you should have bang'd the youth into dumbness. This was look'd for your
hand, and this was baulkt. The double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now failed into the north of my lady's opinion ; where you will hang like an isicle on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by fome laudable attempt, either of valour or policy: Sir And. And't be any way, it must be with valour ; policy I hate : I had as lief be a Brownist, as a po
Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon the bafis of valour ; challenge me the Duke's youth to fight with him ; hurt him in eleven places ; my neice shall take note of it; and assure thyself, there is no lovebroker in the world can more prevail in man's commendation with woman than report of valour.
Fab. There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
Sir And. Will either of you bear ine a challenge to him ?
Sir To. Go, write in a martial hand; be curft and brief : it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent, and full of invention; (7) taunt him with the licence of ink; if thou thou'f him some thrice, it shall not be amiss ; and as many lies as will lye in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England ; set 'em down, go about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, tho thou write with a goosepen, no matter : about it.
(1) Taunt him with the Licence of Ink ; if thou thou'st him some thrice,] There is no Doubt, I think, but this Passage is One of those, in which our Author intended to thew his ReSpect for Sir Walter Raleigh, and a Dereftation of the Virulence of his Prosecutors. The Words, quoted, seem to me dire&ly leveli'd at the Attorney-General Coke, who, in the Trial of Sir Walter, attack'd him with all the following indecent Expressions. .“ All that he did was by thy Inftigation, thou .. Viper ; for I thou thee, thou Traytor !" (Here, by the way, are the Poet's three thou's.) “ You are an odious Man." • Is he base? I return it into thy Throat, on his behalf."-"0 “ damnable Atheist !”. “ Thou art a Monster ; thou hast an “ Englin Face, but a Spanish Heari."-" Thou hast a Spanish « Heart, and thyself ari a Spider of Hell.” - Go to, I will “ lay thee on iliy Back for the confident'j? Traytor that ever came os at a Bar, &c.” Is not here all the Licence of Tongue, which the Poet satyrically prescribes to Sir Andrew's Ink And how mean an Opinion Shakespeare had of these petulant Invectives, is pretty evident from his Close of this Speech; Let there be Gall enough in thy Ink, tho’thou write it with a Goose-pen, no matter.
A keener Lash at the Attorney for a Fool, than all the Contumelies the Attorney threw at the Prisoner, as a suppos'd Traytor:
Sir And. Where shall I find you?
[Exit Sir Andrew. Fab. This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.
Sir To. I have been dear to kim, lad, some two thoufand strong or fo.
Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him ; but you'll not deliver't.
Sir To. Never trust me then ; and by all means ftir on. the youth to an answer. I think, oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were open'd, and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of th' anatomy.
Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty.
Enter Maria. Sir To. Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes.
Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into stitches, follow me: yond gull Malvolio is turned Heathen, a very Renegado ; for there is no Christian, that means to be fav'd by believing rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings. Sir To. And cross-garter'd ?
Mar. Moft villainously; like a pedant that keeps a school i'th' church : I have dogg'd him, like his murtherer. He does obey every point of the letter, that I dropt to betray him ; he does smile his face into more lines than is in the new map, with the augmentation of the Indies ; you have not seen such a thing, as ’tis ; I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. I know, my lady will strike him ; if the do, he'll smile, and take't for a great favour. Sir To. Come, bring us, bring us where he is.
SCENE changes to the Street,
Enter Sebastian and Anthonio.
But since you make your pleasure of your pains, I will no further chide you.
Ant. I could not stay behind you ; my desire,
Seb. My kind Anthonio,
see the relicks of this town?
Shall we go
(8) I can no other Answer make but Thanks,
And Thanks : and ever-oft good Turns
Are Shuffled off with such uncurrent Pay;] It niuft be obvious to every Reader, who has the leaft Knowledge in Verlification, that the second Line is too short by a whole Foot ; however the Editors have indolently pass’d it over without Sulpicion. Then, who ever heard of this goodly double Adverb, ever-oft, which seems to have as much Propriety as, always Sometimes ? As I have reftor'd the Passage, it is very much in our Author's Manner, and Mode of Expression. So, in Cyme beline ;
Since when I have been Debtor to Tom for Courtefies, which 1 will be ever to pay, and yet pay ftill. And in All's well, that Ends well.
And let me buy your friendly Help thus far,