Cups (with sugar and cream) of strong Gunpowder tea, Mix "black" with our "Hyson," Neither having the nerves of a bull or a bison, No matter for that He had called for his hat, 66 With the brim that I've said was so broad and so flat, And the grass, when unearthing his worms and his grubs- He set out, poor dear Soul! -but he never came back! "First" dinner-bell rang Out its euphonious clang At five-folks kept early hours then And Thompson, the Valet, And every one else was beginning to bless himself, Looked gravely at Sally, As who should say, "Truth must not always be told!" Lambs'-wool stockings, and shoes, Of each a fresh pair, He put down to air, And hung a clean shirt to the fire on a chair Much fear'd, as the dinner had been so long ready, The roast and the boil'd Would be all of it spoil'd, And the puddings, her Ladyship thought such a treat, ""T would be folly to wait," Said the Lady, "Dish up! - Let the meal be served straight And kept hot for Sir Thomas, He's lost, sure as fate! Captain Dugald MacBride then proceeded to face The Lady at table, stood up, and said grace, Then set himself down in Sir Thomas's place. Wearily, wearily, all that night, That live-long night, did the hours go by; In grief and in pain, She sat herself down to cry! And Captain M'Bride Who sat by her side, Though I really can't say that he actually cried, As much as can well be expected, perhaps, What he 'd got in his head, "I would have been "Poor old Buffer! he's certainly dead!" No watch dog "bay'd a welcome home," as A watch dog should, to the "Good Sir Thomas;" His approach to tell, - Not so much as a runaway ring at the bell- "And thus 't will be, -nor long the day, - Yon sun that now our bosom warms, Shall shine, but shine on other forms;- The Tree, whose bending branches bear The one loved name- shall yet be there; But where the hand that carved it? - Where?" The very ideas Which passed through the mind of the fair Lady Jane, Of course at her side, Who could not look quite so forlorn, though he tried. An "idea," in fact, had got into His head, That if "poor dear Sir Thomas" should really be dead, A lady slim and tall, To set himself down in comfort there The Lord of Tapton* Hall.. Half over Kent, And nobody knows how much money 's been spent, The familiar abbreviation for Tappington Everard still in use among the tenanty. Vide Prefatory Introduction to the Ingoldsby Legends. The groom, who's been over To Folkstone ard Dover, Can't get any tidings at all of the rover! Here's a fortnight and more has gone by, and we've tried Stolen or strayed, Lost or mislaid, A GENTLEMAN; middle-aged, sober, and staid; And a hat rather lower-crown'd, and broad in the brim, Shall bear Or send him, with care, (Right side uppermost) home; - or shall give notice where To the man at the turnpike called TAPPINGTON-GATE, He MUST have been found. No-doubtless he 's shot-or he's hang'd- To address her at once-at so early a day? Well-what then? who cares? let 'em say what they may - As Captain M'Bride did, And once fully made up his mind on the matter, he He began on the instant, and vow'd that "her eyes Far exceeded in brilliance the stars in the skies, That her lips were like roses her cheeks were like lilies Her breath had the odor of daffy-down dillies! With a thousand more compliments equally true, Round her jimp, taper waist Ere she fix'd to repulse, or return his embrace, Which always betokens dismay or disaster, Crying out 'T was the Gardener-"Oh, ma'm! we've found master!!" -Where? where ?" scream'd the lady; and Echo scream'd "Where?" The man couldn't say "There!" He had no breath to spare, But, gasping for air, he could only respond By pointing-he pointed, alas! TO THE POND! was e'en so! poor dear Knight! with his "specs" and his hat He'd gone poking his nose into this and that; When, close to the side Of the bank, he espied An "uncommon fine" tadpole, remarkably fat; He stooped; Got hold of her tail, and he thought her he had caught her! and to land almost brought her, When he plump'd head and heels into fifteen feet water! The Lady Jane was tall and slim, The Lady Jane was fair Alas, for Sir Thomas! she grieved for him, As she saw two serving-men, sturdy of limb, She sobbed, and she sighed; she lamented, and cried, She swooned, and I think she'd have fallen down and died Had not been by her side, With the Gardener; they both their assistance supplied, But, when she "comes to," The sight which the corpse reveals! It looked so odd-he Was half eaten up by the eels! His waistcoat and hose, and the rest of his clothes, And out of each shoe An eel they drew, And from each of his pockets they pulled out two! For, when he came running to give the alarm, Good Father John * Was summoned anon; And masses were sung and masses were said, And all night- -no one thought of going to bed. But Lady Jane was tall and slim, And Lady Jane was fair, -- And, ere morning came, that winsome dame Had made up her mind-or, what's much the same, To Thompson, the valet, while taking away, I've ate; but any So good ne'er tasted before! For some account of Father John Ingoldsby, to whose papers I am so much be holden, see Ingoldsby's Legends, first series, p. 216, (2d Edit.) This was the last ecclesiastical act of his long and valuable life." They 're a fish, too, of which I 'm remarkably fond. — Poor dear!'-HE'LL CATCH US SOME MORE!!" MORAL. All middle-aged gentlemen let me advise, If you 're married, and have not got very good eyes, Married ladies, especially such as are fair, Tall, and slim, I would next recommend to beware, But let them reflect, "There are fish. way to despair; no doubt on 't— As good in the river as ever came out on 't!" Should they light on a spouse who is given to roaming In solitude-raison de plus, in the "gloaming,' Let them have a fixed time for said spouse to come home in To insure better manners in future - Do n't wait! If of husband or children they chance to be fond, Have them spitch-cock'd,— or stewed - they're too oily when fried. LXXVI. EPITHETS. The rules of rhyme have now been presented, together with a full vocabulary, by which the appropriate rhyme to any word may be found. The use of appropriate epithets by which animated descriptions may be given, or the measure of the verse filled out, comes now to be considered. * An epithet is an adjective, expressing some real quality of the subject to which it is applied, or an attributive, expressing some quality ascribed to it; as a verdant lawn, a brilliant appearance, a just man, an accurate description. See page 166, under Description, for some remarks and suggestions with regard to epithets. |