CCCXXXIV.

In evil long I took delight,
Unawed by shame or fear,
Till a new object struck my sight,
And stopp'd my wild career :
I saw One hanging on a Tree,
In agonies and blood,
Who fix'd His languid eyes on me,
As near His Cross I stood.

Sure never till my latest breath
Can I forget that look:

It seem'd to charge me with His death,
Though not a word He spoke :
My conscience felt and own'd the guilt,
And plunged me in despair;

I saw my sins His Blood had spilt,
And help'd to nail Him there.

Alas! I knew not what I did!
But now my tears are vain :
Where shall my trembling soul be hid?
For I the Lord have slain !

A second look He gave, which said,
"I freely all forgive;

"This Blood is for thy ransom paid; “I die, that thou may'st live.”

Thus, while His death my sin displays

In all its blackest hue,

Such is the mystery of grace,

It seals my pardon too.

With pleasing grief, and mournful joy,

My spirit now is fill'd,

That I should such a life destroy,

Yet live by Him I kill'd.

John Newton 1779.

II.

THE ANSWER.

“I will arise, and go to my Father."—(LUKE xv. 18.)

CCCXXXV.

And have I measured half my days,

And half my journey run,

Nor tasted the Redeemer's grace,

Nor yet my work begun ?

The morning of my life is past,
The noon is almost o'er;
The night of death approaches fast,
When I can work no more.

Darkness He makes His secret place,

Thick clouds surround His Throne;
Nor can I yet behold His face,
Or find the God Unknown.

A God that hides Himself He is,
Far off from mortal sight;

An inaccessible Abyss

Of uncreated Light.

Far off He is, yet always near;
He fills both earth and Heaven,
But doth not to my soul appear,
My soul from Eden driven.

O'er earth a banish'd man I rove,
But cannot feel Him nigh:

Where is the pardoning God of Love,
Who stoop'd for me to die?

I sought Him in the secret cell
With unavailing care :

Long did I in the desert dwell,
Nor could I find Him there.

Still every means in vain I try;
I seek Him far and near;
Where'er I come, constrain'd to cry,
"My Saviour is not here."

God is in this, in every place :
Yet oh! how dark and void
To me! 'tis one great wilderness,
This earth without my God!

Empty of Him, who all things fills,
Till He His Light impart,
Till He His glorious Self reveals,
The veil is on my heart.

O Thou, who seest and know'st my grief,
Thyself Unseen, Unknown!

Pity my helpless unbelief,

And take away the stone!

Regard me with a gracious eye;
The long-sought blessing give;
And bid me, at the point to die,
Behold Thy face, and live!

A darker soul did never yet

Thy promised help implore:

O! that I now my Lord might meet,

And never lose Him more !

Charles Wesley. 1749.

CCCXXXVI.

O Thou, whose tender mercy hears
Contrition's humble sigh,

Whose hand indulgent wipes the tears
From sorrow's weeping eye;

See, low before Thy throne of grace,
A wretched wanderer mourn;
Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face?
Hast Thou not said, Return?

And shall my guilty fears prevail
To drive me from Thy feet?
Oh! let not this dear refuge fail,
This only safe retreat!

Absent from Thee, my Guide, my Light,
Without one cheering ray,

Through dangers, fears, and gloomy night,
How desolate my way!

O shine on this benighted heart,
With beams of mercy shine!
And let Thy healing voice impart
A taste of joys Divine !

Thy presence only can bestow
Delights which never cloy :
Be this my solace here below,
And my eternal joy!

Anne Steele. 1760.

CCCXXXVII.

When shall Thy love constrain And force me to Thy breast? When shall my soul return again To her eternal rest?

Ah! what avails my strife, My wandering to and fro? Thou hast the words of endless life; Ah! whither should I go?

Thy condescending grace

To me did freely move;

It calls me still to seek Thy face,
And stoops to ask my love.

Lord! at Thy feet I fall;
I groan to be set free;
I fain would now obey the call,
And give up all for Thee.

Though late, I all forsake,
My friends, my life resign:
Gracious Redeemer, take, O take,
And seal me ever Thine!

Come, and possess me whole, Nor hence again remove: Settle, and fix my wavering soul With all Thy weight of love!

My one desire be this,
Thy only love to know,

To seek and taste no other bliss,

No other good below.