VII.

JOHNNY BEEDLE'S THANKSGIVING.*

"I SAYS," says I, "Hannah, sposin we keep thanksgivin' to home this year," says I, "and invite all our hull grist o' cousins, and aunts and things— the hull figure, and do the thing genteel."

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"Well, agreed," says she, "it's just what I was a thinkin', only I consate we'd better not cackliate too fur ahead, for I didn't never no it to miss somethin' happenin' so sure as I laid out for the leastest thing. Though it's as good a time now, far's I know, as any-for I've just weanen Moses, and tend to take comfort a spell, 'cause a troublesomer cryiner critter niver come into life."

*By W. L. Mc Clintoch.

"Exactly so," says I, "and if I'd a known everything afore I was married that I do now," says I

"Hold your tongue for a goney, Johnny Beedle," says she," and mind your thanksgivin'."

"Poh!" says I, "Hannah, don't be miffy; I was only jeestin'-and you jist go and put on a kittle of water, and I'll go out and stick a pig for you; two if you like." So away I went and murdered the pigs out o'love and good-will to Hannah. rather guess the critters wished I warn't so goodnatured.

I

Well, things went on swimmingly, and what was best of all, we had the luck to invite the minister and deacon afore anybody got a chance; for the very moment the proklimation was read, I watched for em comin' out of meeting, and nailed 'em both. But as I was a tellin', Hannah, she went at it she got some of her galls to help her, and they made all smoke. In the first place she went to work reg'lar, and turned the house inside out, and then t'other side in again, all the same as darnin' a stocking. Hannah is a smart willin' gall, and a rael worker, and a prime cook into the bargain; let her alone in the doughnut line, and for pumpkin pies-lick! So the day afore the

thanksgivin' she called me into the t'other room, that Marm Peabody christened the parlour, to see what a lot o' pies and cakes, and sausage-meat and doughnuts she'd got made up, and charged me not to lay the weight of my finger upon one on 'em. I telled her I guessed she cackelated to call in the whole parish, paupers and all, to eat up sich a sight of vittles; so I grabbed a handful of doughnuts, and went out to feed the hogs, and to see to things in the field. I was gone all the fore part o' the day, and when I went home I found Hannah all hoity toity, in a livin' pucker cryin', and taken on to kill, and poor little Moses tottling arter her and cryin' too. I declare if I didn't feel streaked.

"What in the name o' natur," says I, "is the matter? who's dead, and what's to pay now?" With that she fetched a new screech, and down she whopped into a cheer.

Johnny Beedle, Johnny," says she, and with that she boohood agin.

"What ails the woman?" says I,

possest, or what?

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"The child is ruined!" says she, “Moses Beedle is ruined."

I kitched up the child, and turned him eend for eend, every which way, but I couldn't see nothin

extraordinary. I begun to think that the woman was bewitched, and by this time was a good mind to feel mad. I don't know of nothin' that'll raise a feller's dander quicker than to skeer him out of his seven senses. So I giv Hannah a reg'lar breezin', for actin' so like a raven distracted bed bug; and what with jarrin' a spell and coaxin' a spell, at last I got the whole on't out of her.

It appears that about an hour or thereabouts arter I'd gone out, there was a man rid up to the door a horseback, got down, and come in and asked for a drink o' water or beer, I ain't sartain which-but anyhow he was a raal dandified chap, and dreadful civel spoken withal. So my wife and he soon got into a chat about the weather and sich things. Well, while he set, the young one squalled in the room; he'd been asleep, you know, with his mornin's nap; my wife went and fetched him into the room, and she obsarved that the man looked considerable hard at him, as if he see'd somethin' queer; tho she didn't think nothin' of it at the time, but recollected arterwards.

She was quite tickled to see the man take him and set him on his knee; but while he was a playin' with him-for Moses is a raal peeler, he ain't afeered of the biggest stranger that ever was-directly he

fell to pawin' about his head in sich a comical style, and talking to himself, and withal acted so curious, that Hannah got skeery, "and went to take him away, but he wouldn't let her take him just then; he said, "he wanted to examine his head."

"His head!" says Hannah, "nothin' ails his head."

"Nothin' ails it ?" says he, "why it's the most remarkable head that I've ever seen." And then he went on with sich a string of long words, there was no memberin' or understandin' half-then he clapped his hand on the side of the little fellow's sconce-box, "there," says he, "do you see that divilupment;" or some sich word that sounded awful. "That's what?" says Hannah.

"Vulgarly called a bump," continued he.

"It ain't a bump too, nyther," says his mother. "It's his nat'rul shape."

"No doubt of that," said the villin.

"Well now, if ever I heard the beat o' that," says she,." that bump's come natʼrul."

So he told her they was only called bumps, 'cause they looked like 'em; and the bigger they were, and the more there was on 'em, the more different sorts of capacities and idees folks had--and so on.