Speaker, may we never be backward in coming forward; and all honest men ought to endeavour to keep the rising generation from falling. Not to dwell upon this point, Mr. Speaker, let us now enter into the subject."

Now it happened, that just at this moment the little fat, bald-headed, round-faced man wriggled himself round just in front of me, so that I could not help seeing him; and just as I was saying,

rising generation," he twisted the corners of his mouth into a queer sort of pucker on one side, and .rolled the whites of his little, grey, twinkling eyes, right up in my face. The members all stared right at us, and made a kind of snickering cluck, cluck, cluck, that seemed to run whistling over the whole house.

I felt awfully bothered, I can't tell how, but it gave me such a jerk off the hooks, that I could not remember the next words, so that I felt in my pocket for the speech, it was not there; then in my hat, it wasn't there; then behind me, then both sides of me, but lo! and behold, it was not to be found. The next instant I remembered that I had taken it out of my hat in a shop in Dock Square that morning, while I was comparing the four corners of my check handkerchief with a ban

danna. That was enough-I knew as quick as lightning that I was a gone goose. I pretended to go on with my speech, and kept saying "rising generation," "my constituents," "enter into the subject, Mr. Speaker." But I made hawk's-meat of it you may depend; finally, nobody could stand it any longer. The little fat man with the round face, put his thumb to the side of his nose, and made a sort of twinkling with his fingers; the Speaker began to giggle, and the next minute the whole house exploded like a bomb-shell. I snatched up my hat under cover of the smoke, made one jump to the door and was down stairs before you could say, "second the motion !"

II.

HOSS ALLEN, OF MISSOURI.

THIS celebrated gentleman is a recognised “hoss" certainly; and, we are told, rejoices as much at his cognomination as he did at his nomination for the chair gubernatorial, last election. He did not run well enough to reach the chair, though it appears, from his own account, that his hoss qualities, "any how," fall considerable below those of the sureenough animal. This is his story, which he is very fond of relating up by Palmyry.

"You see, boys, I came to old river, and found I had to swim. Had best clothes on, and didn't know what to do. What river?' Why, Salt river. Our Salt, here in Missouri, darned thing; always full when don't want it. Well, boys, you

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knows Hoss Allen-no back out in him, any how! Stripped to the skin, just tied clothes up in a bundle, strapped it on the critter's head, and 'cross we swum together. Well, don't you think, while I was gittin' the bank, the wicked thing got away, and started off with my clothes on his head; and the more I ran, and hollered, aud whoa'd,' the more I couldn't catch the cussed varmint. 'Way he'd go, and I arter-hot as tophit, too, all the way, and yaller flies about; and when I did get tol❜ble near, he'd stop and look, cock his ears, and give a snuff, as if he never smelt a man afore; and then streak it off agin, as if I had been an Ingin.

Well, boys, all I had to do was to keep a follerin' on, and keep flies off; and I did, till we came to a slough, and says I, 'Now, old feller,

Well, arter all, critter wouldn't

I got you;' and I driv him in. do you know, fellers, the auful stick! He went in and in, and by'm-by came to a deep place, and swum right across. A facttrue as thunder! Well, you see, when I cum to the deep place, I swum too; and, do you know, that the darned beast just nat' rally waited till I got out, and looked at me all over, and I could act❜ily see him laffin'; and I was nasty enough to make a hoss laugh, any how!

'Well, thinks I, old feller, recon you'v had fun enough with me now; so I gits some sticks, and scrapes myself all over, and got tol'ble white again, and then begins to coax the varmint. Well, I 'whoa'd' and 'old boy'd,' and cum up right civil to him, I tell ye- and he took it mighty condescendin' too; and jist when I had him sure, cussed if he didn't go right back into the slough agin, swum the deep place, walked out, and stood on t'other side, waitin' for me.

"Well, by this time, the yaller flies cum at me agin, and I jist nat'rally went in arter the blasted beast, and stood afore him, on t'other side, just as nasty as before-did, by thunder, boys! Well, he laffed agin, till he nearly shook the bundle off; and 'way he went, back agin, three miles, to the river; and then he jest stopped dead, and waited till I cum up to him, and jest kind a axed me to cum and take hold of the bridle, and then guv a kick and a 'ruction, and went in agin, laffin' all the time; and, right in the middle, hang me! if he didn't shake my clothes off; and 'way they went, down stream, while he swum ashore; and I, jest nat' rally, lay down on the bank, and cussed all creation.

'Well, you see, boys, there I lays 'bove a hour, when I sees a feller pullin' up stream in a skift,