LETTER XI.

SPIRITUAL TRIALS.

YOUR last letter, my dear friend, assures me that you are truly seeking to lead the life of the Christian, and are earnestly striving for a deeper and purer faith; yet there are doubts and difficulties in your mind which you hardly know how to interpret or meet, a darkness which often hides from you the Father's reconciled countenance, and robs you of all true peace.

To point out to you the meaning of these difficulties, and to show you how even such trials may be made conducive to your highest spiritual good, will be now my aim. The subjects upon which I shall touch are such as peculiarly require inward scrutiny and the concentrated attention of the spiritual powers; for the faith which you need and desire is, from its very nature, wholly spiritual, and can never be attained by any outward process, or by any effort of the intellectual powers alone.

We live too much in externals, and are too readily satisfied when the daily routine of life is,

on the whole, comfortable and satisfying, forgetting the unfathomed depths of being, the mysteries of the world within, which occasionally startle us from our slumber of indifference and heartless peace, as some strange, unforeseen event, some wonderful, providential dealing, some sudden light from the Divine word or the everpresent spirit, pierces the most secret recesses of the soul, revealing its intricate windings, its want and destitution, its weakness and its strength, its helplessness in self-confidence, and its power in an entire self-renunciation.

Well has it been said: "In man's deepest consciousness, read sometimes clearly and sometimes dimly, is the subject-matter of a Paradise Lost and a Paradise Regained, which the seers and bards of humanity have struggled to articulate distinctly in prophecy and song. Only when the things of immortality become mere matters of tradition, and not subjective realities, man conceives this drama as enacted in some far-off and imaginary heavens, and not where alone it can be found,—in himself."

Something of these inward trials, something of these struggles, amounting at times even to anguish of soul, you have felt, and the conflict has been the harder because you have had few or none to understand and to sympathize with your deepest wants.

Many there are who virtually regard the ex

ternal circumstances of life-sickness, poverty, uncongenial pursuits and labors, loss of property, bereavements as the only trials of life, and would hardly comprehend the language of one who speaks of such as are wholly inward and spiritual. "For the natural man receiveth not the things of the spirit of God; neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned."

Not that I would overlook, or regard as of little account, what is usually termed the outward discipline of life, requiring as it does the truest Christian faith to meet it with a cheerful

trust and a holy submission. But appealing now to your own consciousness, I would ask, Is this all? When life has seemed the most joyous, and external circumstances the most propitious, has there not often been the deepest trial and the most intense struggle in the inward spirit?

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Judging from your last letter and my knowledge of your past spiritual experience, your state of mind might be expressed in a confession like this: "I am conscious of having made the distinct choice of the religious life, of having sought to follow Jesus as my only guide and to know him as my Saviour. I have striven to feel my personal relations to him, to be faithful in prayer and the study of the Scriptures, and diligent in duty. But again and again does the solemn

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question recur, Am I born again? Ought I to regard myself as entitled to those promises made to the children of God? Failing so often in duty, do I truly belong to Christ and share in his covenant of love? I have not that realizing faith in God and in Christ which, in my better moments, I desire. At times, there even seems no reality in their being, heaven appears afar off and immortality a dream. I pray, but cannot feel the Father's loving presence. I long to hear the still, small voice, but there is only silence. I meditate, but doubts arise as to the reality of the themes of revelation. I ponder the life of the divine Redeemer, but no glow of warm emotion suffuses my soul, and I cannot feel the love and devotion I desire. I seek to cherish a deeper faith, but often the words of revelation seem to have no personal application; and when I am alone, in the hour of retirement and prayer, often all appears to my spirit blank, vague, and unmeaning. There are times, indeed, when faith grows clear and bright, and, with renewed courage and hope, I can press on in the conflict; but again and again do these darker seasons recur, and, weary and disheartened, I am tempted to yield to self-indulgence and to give up all effort. How, then, am I to meet these struggles, these trials of religious confidence? How satisfy this restless yearning for a more abiding and conscious reconciliation, and a truer fellowship with Christ?"

I reply: If you are indeed conscious of a true consecration of yourself to God through Christ, and of looking to his spirit for guidance and help, if you are faithful in prayer, then understand that these darker hours, these seasons of coldness and doubt and inward restlessness, are the trying of your faith, the test of your sincerity, the divinely appointed means of your growth in the spiritual life.

Some there are who need chiefly the varied and changing discipline of the outward life to render them fit for the kingdom of Heaven; but others are to be purified through inward trial, through secret and severe struggles unknown save to the eye of the All-seeing, and are thus alone prepared to receive the crown of life which the Master has promised to those who abide faithful even amid the darkness, and who are called upon cheerfully to bear his cross, knowing that it will soon bear them beyond the scenes of trial, conflict, and doubt, to the unveiled presence of the Father and the Saviour.

In such inward struggles, the first essential condition of our attaining to any true peace and faith of the soul is, that we become thoroughly conscious of our weakness and our needs; that we feel the absolute necessity of giving up all self-confidence, and relying solely on the Father's help and mercy as manifested in Christ. Now, in these trials of religious confidence, there