-Nothing ever more distinctly recognised the line of separation between the mind guided only by literature or unaided reason, and the mind illumined, taught, and made to understand the deep things of God, by that "unction from the Holy One by which all things are known." While thus groping his way to the truth, he was led to mature his views regarding the Christian Sabbath, and adopted conclusions from the Word of God which he held till his dying hour with a tenacity that indicated the depth of his convictions. He felt that if there had been no Sabbath, he would have sunk far deeper into sin than he had done; and then he clung to the hope that, as he had hitherto in some degree respected that divine institution, he might regard that as a token that God had not forsaken him. Restraining grace, at least, had been at work, while he felt that "if a sinner proceed so far as to profane the Sabbath openly and carelessly, it seems as if the last medium were destroyed through which religious feeling may be maintained." Let ruined fortunes-let foodless families-let broken hearts-let premature deaths

let the murderer's cell, his scaffold, and unhonoured grave, all proclaim the truth of the conclusion.

The vexing changes of feeling to which his mind now became subject regarding religion, gave premonition of the decisive struggle that was at hand. It 、 was like the barge shooting the rapids, and feeling the suction of the current before it entered the rush of waters. It was like the mysterious and awing sounds often heard in the deep valleys of the Swiss, which presage to the experienced ear the descent of

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the avalanche or landslip; but it requires a minute acquaintance with that religion which is the fruit of the Spirit in the soul, to be able to distinguish between the effects of grace and the workings of natural conscience in such a mind. Already we have often felt, in tracing the past years of Mr Macdonald, as if he were in the act of taking up his position in the kingdom of grace; the line of separation between the natural and the gracious appears to be passed, and the soul promises to be soon radiant with the beauties of holiness; if it be not the Sun of Righteousness that is beheld, it is at least the bow in the cloud-that loveliest of nature's objects, consecrated, like much besides, as a symbol of good-will to man. But then, incidents occur which tempt us to pause ere we welcome him as indeed a member of the family which is named after Christ. His own graphic delineations of the hidden man of the heart enable us to judge in such cases. On the 11th of May he makes this entry, after hearing a sermon on Acts iv. 13

My mind was employed, not in making an application of the discourse to myself in the manner I ought to do, but in thinking how some others might make a favourable application of it to me, and might recognise in some of the virtues enumerated, some that were mine. Oh! how mean, and detestable, and impious, was such conductwhile the servant of God was delineating the true Christian, so that I might see that, indeed, I was not one, there was I, endeavouring to pick up all my superficial, unmeaning acts of a tinsel virtue, in order to present a counter picture totally opposed to the message of the Most High God unto me! At the very moment when listening to the ambassador of God, I was giving him the lie in his teeth;

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AN OPPORTUNITY LOST.

and while he was exhibiting me yet a sinner, I was exhibiting myself a Christian. None that is not a subject of divine grace can know speculatively better than I do the distinction between a professed and a real Christian-and well do I know that I am not the latter. But why is it

At times, I feel as if I had

that in this, knowledge has no effect on practice, when it is so vitally connected with it? two wills-one to do good, and another to do evil; but I soon find I have only one, and that the seeming acting of the former is but a temporary slackness of the latter. Sometimes I feel as if I cannot, but it is immediately succeeded by the remorseful conviction that I will not-and this is a bitterer despair than the other."

He had now, then, for some time felt that his future conduct must resemble that of Penelope, unweaving at one period what had been elaborately woven before. The past was peopled with many regrets the future stretched out before him in the dimness that enshrouds it from every eye but One; and in his hours of anxious foreboding, he would fain have penetrated the darkness that he might know the portion of his soul. As often, however, as that desire arose, he strove to hush it as a sinful wish to intrude into the province of Him to whom all existence is but one eternal present. He felt that the trust which leads the sinner to repose implicitly on God brings to the mind a more soothing sense of safety, than if he could trace by anticipation all the windings of his own career through life. Yet he who could reason so soundly had occasion to record, regarding a visit to a Christian minister—

66

'Knowing that he cannot be any time without conversing on the glorious truths of the gospel, and that in the most practical, and particular, and searching manner, I felt

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a sort of dread of spending a whole Sabbath afternoon and night with him; and yet I felt an anxious wish to do it, hoping that it might be attended with beneficial consequences to me. Sometimes I almost shrunk at the thought of my wicked heart coming in contact with his piety and holy devotion; then again, I resolved to make a full disclosure to him of my sentiments, and unbosom to him the state of my mind, and so on. But I have passed through all this perplexity, and the interview is over-and my heart is more hardened, and my conscience more burdened with remorse. I could almost be vain, were it not an awful symptom of impending danger, of how I came off. Oh! are not my talents a curse to me, as they now are-and is not every advantage that ever I have had also a curse? I could talk with this holy saint of God on the gospel, its truths, its experience, with a degree of readiness which, whilst it astonished myself, made me also at times the prey of remorse and shame! My heart seemed to cling to the servant of God, and I hung on every word he spoke; and he breathed so much benevolence, and zeal, and Christian love and simplicity, that my heart seemed dark as hell. O what shall I have to render to God for such an opportunity as I had yesterday of knowing his will! How true what Mr Gentle said of another: A true subject of the gospel can never rest satisfied with generals, he must always be entering into particulars.' Here, then, I betrayed myself; and how much must he despise me-and how much must every true servant of God despise me, who sees through my hypocrisy. But no; they will rather pity me and pray for me. O may their prayers be heard! and may I also be taught to pray. For, though of late I have been more frequent, and, in some degree, more fervent, in my prayers, yet I dread lest such should only be one of the many possible variations that may, and must, take place in the feelings of almost every individual."

He was, however, already hungering and thirst

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THE BLINDNESS OF THE HEART.

ing to bring sinners to the Saviour. He would have been far from using the words of David"Come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare what He hath done for 99 * my soul;" or even of the woman of Samaria-"Come, see a man which told me all things that ever I did; " + but he experienced that irresistible longing which every child of God has felt, to make others partakers of the unspeakable gift. Of such an opportunity lost he says "If my heart were under the influence of the gospel, what a noble field would this open up to me! I might thus, under the blessing of God, have an opportunity of leading the soul of a fellow-creature to its salvation. But, oh! I feel not these things myself, and how can I, then, lead others? O what a miserable thing it is to be a sinner!

If we have been taught by the Spirit of God to study man's character in the light of the Scriptures, it will appear from these extracts that the decisive crisis in his history now approaches. The rays of the truth are converging. The heart will soon be in the focus, there to be melted and moulded anew. On Sabbath the 25th of May, he writes:

"Whilst reading the 3d chapter of John, I began to think, 'These are the words of the Son of God. Whatever proceeds from Him, must have infinite glory and excellency in it.' These words of His, then, possess that glory and excellency; but do I see the least degree of these? I read, and I think I see, that some of these things are true. I take it for granted that they are; I am not inclined to deny them. I feel a general, listless assent of my understanding to them, but no degree of pleasure or relish + John iv. 29.

*Ps. lxvi. 16.