« ПредыдущаяПродолжить »
light or liberty to plead with God; I could only groan out my complaints before him, and confess my unworthiness of being heard, and his justice, if all my plans were brought to nothing. I was oppressed and overwhelmed in spirit, and was led to believe that the Lord was doing all things well, although not according to my designs and wishes.
On Friday, a letter from Mr Dickie gave me grounds of hope, if not of Mr Clayton, of another equally suitable. This rebuked me for past fears, and misgivings of mind concerning it.
This morning I was confined to the house, and had a very profitable time in pouring out my heart before God, and in confessing my sin, which I saw was done away by the blood of Jesus. Unbelief, I see, is the root of all sin ; and faith is the grace which can procure all I need. I sought it with fervour, and endeavoured to exercise it. In the afternoon and evening I have had some comfortable moments.
Thursday, January 14.—This day Mr Jones arrived; and on Sunday the 17th he preached twice in the chapel. On Tuesday he preached again. On Sabbath the 24th he preached twice. On Monday some persons came to beg I would desire him to remain, and that I would take steps to procure his settlement as their pastor. On Tuesday the 26th, he preached again to their great satisfaction. All this time my health has been very bad.
Thursday, March 18.-Since writing the above, my disorder has increased, and the Lord has seen meet to lay me on a bed of affliction. The night before I was confined to bed, (being the 29th of January), I was enabled to cast my cares upon the Lord, beseeching him to relieve me from anxiety of mind, and to order all concerning myself and chapel as seemed good in his sight. This prayer has been wonderfully answered; for, during the course of a six weeks' fever, I was never permitted to have an anxious thought, either about myself or others; and, during that time, the Lord was pleased to carry on his work in the chapel, by inclining the people's hearts so much to Mr Jones, that an invitation and a call is now given him, and I trust he will return to us in the fulness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ.
London, Sunday, May 30.-The Lord has been pleased to bring me to this place a fortnight ago, in health and safety. I have cause to bless him for many mercies; in particular, for strength and spirits to go through the business and fatigue that I have had since I came here; for rendering my journey prosperous, with respect to Mr Jones's ordination; and giving me the near prospect of accomplishing it to my wishes.
Lady Glenorchy goes to Taymouth-Extracts from Diary, from August
8, to September 5, 1779_Lady Glenorchy returns to EdinburghExtracts from Diary, from October 3, 1779, to April 23, 1780— Lady Henrietta Hope accompanies Lady Glenorchy to England Lady Glenorchy returns to Scotland, and goes to Taymouth to attend her father-in-law-Extracts from Diary, from May 17, to August 13, 1780—Mr Jones lays the evidence of his ordination before the Presbytery of Edinburgh_Subscribes the Confession of Faith, and Formula—All misunderstanding between Lady Glenorchy and the Presbytery happily terminated— The Rev. Thomas Fleming settled at Kenmore_Lady Glenorchy much satisfied with this eventExtracts from Diary, from September 2, to September 10, 1780— Lady Glenorchy returns from Taymouth-Sets out for Bath-Extracts from Diary, October 22, to December 31, 1780—Lady Henrietta Hope takes up her residence with Lady Glenorchy—Extracts from Diary, from January 1, to April 30, 1781_Lady Glenorchy purchases and supports a chapel in Carlisle-Lady Glenorchy goes to Taymouth for the last time-Extracts from Diary, from July 22, to September 2, 1781.
IMMEDIATELY after the writer's admission to his pastoral charge, Lady Glenorchy set out for Taymouth ; and by the following extracts from her Diary at this period it will appear, that her religious experience was on the whole similar to what it had formerly been.
Taymouth, Sunday, August 8.-This day I have joined in celebrating the dying love of Jesus. I hope I was enabled to exercise faith on him as the propitiation and sacrifice for sin, and to plead his broken body and shed blood as sufficient to atone for my sins, and as the procuring cause of every blessing, spiritual and temporal. I endeavoured to give myself up to Jesus as his lawful property, purchased by his blood; and
begged of him to dispose of me as seemed good in his sight. I besought him to keep me back from doing any thing dishonourable to his name, and I trust he will hear and answer me in due time. Some parts of the 119th Psalm were very comfortable to me to-day. I felt with the Psalmist an earnest desire to be taught the will and commandments of God ;-every verse seemed applicable to me. I believe it is in faithfulness that the Lord has afflicted me, and I have a comfortable hope that my soul shall live, and taste of his loving-kindness in heaven, and enjoy his favour, which is better than life. Let him lift upon me the light of his countenance, and I am content to face a frowning world. Only show me thy will, and give me power and grace to obey it: I ask no more, O ever blessed God!
[Aged 38.] Taymouth, September 2.—How dark and mysterious are thy ways, O Lord, to the children of men! yet we are bound to believe that all thy ways are mercy and truth to such as fear thee. The last year of my life has been deeply marked with judgment and mercy. I have in myself a witness that God is almighty in preserving my life, notwithstanding the diseases of body which I have gone through. I do not yet see the meaning of my trials, but I believe I shall yet praise God for them, and be made to acknowledge, that in faithfulness, and loving-kindness, and in tender mercy, he has afflicted me. My only comfort is in committing my way to the Lord, and trusting in him, that he will do with me whatever is for his glory and my good. I find that my will is subdued, and my desire is, that his whole will may take place.
This year the Lord has graciously vouchsafed me another minister to the chapel, who has been brought to us in so providential a manner, that I can have no doubt of his being an answer to those prayers put up in faith for this blessing, especially as those we at first cast our eyes upon were prevented from coming by the most uncommon interpositions of Providence. It is satisfactory to reflect, that Mr Jones's call and ordination was carried on in the most scriptural and acceptable manner, and with much ease, the hearts of men being wonderfully turned to it, so that the Lord's hand appeared conspicuous in the whole, agreeable to the petitions every day offered up in my house, that the Lord's hand might appear in it.
I have also had the comfort this year to hear of good being done at Exmouth, and a prospect of that work being established on a permanent footing. Many are the particular mercies I have received from the Lord as an individual; preservation from dangers, recovery from pain and sickness, protection and direction in journeyings, and frequently pleasing and refreshing moments in the ordinances, when by faith I could realize the invisible world, and lay hold on the promise of life eternal in Christ. I have also had comfort in seeing my own past miscarriages, and in viewing the hand of God chastening me in infinite wisdom and mercy, in the way most likely to cure the predominant diseases of my soul ; thus convincing me, that it is the rod of a Father that is laid upon me, and that I am not a bastard, but a lawful child, an heir of glory. O, joyful transporting thought! who would not suffer, nay, desire to suffer chastisement, when it is to bring us nearer to God, and render the soul meet to behold and enjoy him. O my God, I desire with my
whole heart to submit to thy fatherly correction, and to receive it as a proof of thy tender care for my eternal welfare. I ask not deliverance till the end