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I want to have sin subdued and mortified in me by the Spirit of God, and that the Holy Ghost may shed abroad his influences in my heart, to purify, enlighten, and sanctify me; to testify of Jesus, teach me what I know not, lead me into all truth, and refresh me with his consolations.

I want to have my backslidings healed, my soul restored to the vigorous exercise of grace, awakened from drowsiness and sloth, and that the things which remain and are ready to die, may be strengthened.

I want the Holy Spirit to witness with my spirit that I am born again, and that I am now a child of God.

I want the improper love of myself destroyed, that internal principle of selfishness which stains, mars, and spoils all I say and do.

I want my besetting sin mortified, which, the Lord knows, has harassed and distressed my soul for years past; and although now it prevails not, but rather seems dead, yet I fear will revive on the first temptation.

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I want to know more of God, of his perfections, of his glory as it shines in the person of Jesus Christ our Lord, of his love to sinners in the work of redemption.

I want an experimental knowledge of the truths I have been taught. I would feel their influence on my heart and life, that it may appear unto all that I belong to Jesus Christ.

I want to be made willing that all should know this, that I may not be ashamed at any time, or any place, of my Christian profession.

I want more humility and lowliness of heart, and self-denied and constant obedience to all the commands of Christ.

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I want the image of Christ stamped on my soul, and more love to him, and more conformity to him in all things.

I want wisdom to direct me how to behave towards my unconverted relations, seeing that all the ways I have hitherto tried have proved ineffectual in reconciling them to the truths of God.

I want gravity and dignity of behaviour at all times, becoming my profession and the high calling of God. I would carry about with me the dying of the Lord

Jesus.

I want also wisdom to direct me in temporal affairs, that I may act the part of a faithful steward of the things intrusted to my charge, so that I may neither by profusion nor narrowness bring a reproach upon religion.

I want more of the spirit of prayer, and power to meditate and delight in reading the word of God; a tender conscience to feel the first approach of sin; an evangelical repentance, that looks on him I have pierced, and that mourns because of sin, as the procuring cause of his sufferings; and which leads to flee from sin as from the face of a serpent.

I want more love to the brethren, for the Lord's sake, and a more single eye to his glory in all I do for them.

I want to have no will of my own in any thing, but ever to find the Lord's will precious to me, even when it crosses my will. I know he cannot err, therefore I would rejoice when I am disappointed, for when his will takes place my end is answered, for I desire only to advance his glory.

I want to know his will concerning the manner in which I ought to settle the chapel in Edinburgh, and that in Strathfillan, and the parish of Cramond.

I want to know my wants, and to have access at all times to spread them before a throne of grace, where I know they can be abundantly supplied out of the fulness of Christ.

August 25.—I arose early to spend an hour in confessing my sins unto the Lord. My soul was rather dead in the duty, yet, through grace, I attained to something of simplicity of heart,-a desire for sincerity, and consciousness of deficiency.

I afterwards spent some time in reading the Scriptures. The Lord was present with my spirit. I afterwards retired to a place unknown to others, where I sought the Lord, first for his church, and then for myself. He was graciously pleased to permit me to spread my wants before him. I felt enlarged in prayer, and got somewhat of a fervent spirit for two hours, and had some degree of comfort from the secret testimony of the Spirit, of the love of God to my soul. This was not in so great a measure as on former occasions of this sort; but I was made to perceive the Spirit of Christ was indeed making intercession for me, and I had confidence of being heard. I have since this time been rather in a dull frame; corruption still assails me; but the Lord will deliver me in his own time. I desire to praise him with my whole soul for all that is past, and to trust him for all that is to come.

August 26.-This morning I had sweet access to a throne of grace, and felt some meltings of heart in the view of my Redeemer's sufferings for sinners, and for myself in particular. I could say that I looked upon him whom I had pierced. I felt abhorrence at the part I had in crucifying the Lord of glory.

This day I made a disposition of my chapel and school in Edinburgh, and I believe I have done it under the direction of the Lord, in the way most likely to promote the end I have in view. To him be the praise!

Friday, September 1.-This day I endeavoured to keep as a day of prayer, for the revival of religion in our land. I found some degree of sorrow for the abounding iniquity of it, and liberty to plead with the Lord that our backslidings might be healed; and I also remembered all my Christian friends particularly by name before the Lord.

[Aged 34.] September 2.-It hath been my custom, ever since I knew the grace of God, to observe this day as a day of humiliation for my sins, and of thanksgiving for the mercies conferred upon me by God my Saviour, from my birth to the present hour. To see my own vileness, I must at the same time behold the infinite perfections of a Holy God. O that I had a clearer view of his glory and excellence, of his amazing love to the sinful sons of men! Then should I indeed be humbled under a sense of the ingratitude and insensibility of my cold wretched heart, which is so little moved by all his tender mercies and loving kindnesses to me, preserving me from evil, restraining me from outward sin, redeeming my soul from hell, and adopting me into his family. He has given me a goodly inheritance in this world, and in that which is to come an inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, and which fadeth not away. Surely none ever had such cause to extol free sovereign grace,-a brand plucked from the burning,-a backslider restored,-a poor worm raised up and employed by infinite grace as an

instrument in the Lord's work! Was it for any foreseen good in me, any greater measure of love or faithfulness, that the Lord has thus distinguished me by his grace? O no! at this day my vile heart is still prone to depart from him by unbelief,-at times it is filled with all evil,-sin still warreth in me, and deceives me, so that I am frequently led captive by it, and made to cry out for the bitterness of my soul. Sometimes I am ashamed of my gracious God, and fall into conformity to the vain conversation of his enemies; and thus spend precious time in a most unprofitable manner. I sometimes restrain prayer, neglect meditation, and reading the scriptures. I am careless in reading, and inattentive in hearing, the word of God, and omit many known duties. Oh, my sins of omission are many and grievous; had the Lord dealt with me as I have sinned, I should now have been lost. But, glory to his name, his thoughts are not as our thoughts. How hath my heart, like that of Joseph's brethren, misinterpreted the Lord's dealings, and foreboded terror and destruction, while his thoughts have been of good, and not of evil. How hath he overruled my sins and follies for his own glory and my everlasting good. O how much have I learnt this year of my own weakness, ignorance, pride, worldliness, and desperate wickedness of heart! I hope I have also learned to trust it less, and to expect no safety or stability but in the ways of God, and from himself. As to outward things, I have been blessed by an increase of income, in proportion to what I have laid out in his cause. He hath hitherto helped me, and owned the work I have been engaged in to be his, by blessing his word to some souls. For all these things I desire to praise him, and to ascribe unto the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, one God, as is most due, all the glory, now and for evermore. W. G.

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