Изображения страниц
PDF
EPUB

present cross is sweet-death will be a messenger of peace and who can say what joys await the blessed soul united to Jesus in the world to come ? O, Holy Jesus, sanctify my nature by thy Spirit, purify my thoughts and affections, that I may have some foretaste of the bliss and holy joy, which is the portion of thy saints above !

Thursday, March 12.-I had some comfort this morning, in reading the cures our blessed Lord performed on many who came to him in the days of his flesh. They had different degrees of faith, yet all were made whole. I felt my faith weak, but saw it sufficient to lay hold on Jesus as able and willing to save to the uttermost. Being fast-day, I went to church. Dr Webster preached on the brazen serpent: he described the different degrees of faith from the same instances I had been considering in the morning, in a very lively manner, and confirmed my thoughts upon the subject. It was an excellent sermon, and accompanied with power to my soul. I have felt it good this day to enter the house of the Lord; the psalms, prayers, and sermons, were sweet to me, like the refreshing dew to the parched ground. What must it be to enter the celestial courts, where we shall see Jesus face to face, and to be transformed into his image! where sin and sorrow are excluded, and the pleasures we enjoy are without interruption, and without end ! Here we see in part, and know in part; there we shall know as we are known, and see him as he is. O hasten the time, Lord ; yea come, Lord Jesus ! Come quickly!

[ocr errors]

Saturday, March 14.. Finding my soul very dead this morning, and examining what might be the cause, it occurred to me that I had neglected family worship

R

in the absence of the chaplain. I found myself more unfit to perform it than ever: yet after crying to the Lord for help, I got courage to call in the maid-servants, and was enabled to go through the duty with some tolerable degree of composure. I have since got some access to the Lord in private prayer, and find somewhat of the former darkness removed. This is a lesson to me to obey the dictates of conscience. O that I may keep it in remembrance! This day the Lord has blessed to my soul the reading of a little book, by Doolittle, on the Sacrament. Light shone upon it, and gave me to see my sins in heart and life. In the afternoon I heard an excellent sermon on effectual calling. My heart witnessed to the call of God in my heart, and to my having been made willing to obey it in a day of his power. Glory be to God !

Sunday, March 15.-Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me be stirred up to praise and magnify his holy name! I sought the Lord, and he heard and answered my prayer. He has refreshed my dry parched fainting soul this day with the dew from heaven. What shall I render unto him for all his benefits? After a sore struggle this morning, with a weak and sick body and fearful mind, I called in my family to prayer. The Lord enlarged my heart in the duty. I was led to plead the promises contained in the new covenant, and to ask the fulfilment of them to our souls ; and that we might obtain faith this day to lay hold on that covenant made with Jesus before the foundation of the world. At church Dr Webster took for his text, “ And to Jesus, the mediator of the new covenant.” He repeated all I had been praying for, and showed that the Lord was willing to fulfil these promises to every believing soul. At the table Mr Plenderleath spoke to the same purpose, and exhorted

us to lay hold on the covenant. His words seemed addressed to me as an answer to my prayer. Upon the whole, it has been a sweet day to my soul. I gloried in Jesus ; I could have spoken aloud to his praise; his name was as ointment poured forth; the enemy was kept off, though he often attempted to molest me. I could not forbear giving thanks with an audible voice in my way home; my heart was exceeding joyful. O for that state when we shall enjoy the Lord without interruption, and without end ! Come quickly, Lord Jesus !

Since writing the foregoing page, the Lord has been pleased to send a severe fever upon me, which has confined me for seven weeks. It began upon the Monday after the sacrament, at which time I received uncommon consolation, and had a sort of impression that it was a strengthening cordial before some great trial. I was afraid it might have been temptation to some sin, and cried much to the Lord to keep me, and rather let me suffer any pain than sin against so much mercy as he had manifested towards me. For some days after, I thought myself dying, and my soul was cold and unaffected. I had neither fear nor joy in the view of death. I was enabled simply to commit myself into the Lord's hands, to do with me whatever he saw best. The chief uneasiness I felt was lest the rod should not be sanctified ;-and I have cause to apprehend this, for, notwithstanding the amazing goodness of God to my soul and body, I continue a poor, weak, cold, ungrateful creature,—my mind is enfeebled, and I am unfit for every thing, but to learn patience and submission to the Lord's will.

CHAPTER XI.

Lady Glenorchy takes the management of her temporal affairs into her

own hands—Conducts herself with prudence and firmness Makes all her temporal concerns subservient to religion-Extracts from Diary, from June 21, to July 6, 1772_Lady Glenorchy goes to Taymouth with Lord Breadalbane_Extracts from Diary, from July 26, to September 12, 1772–Lady Glenorchy returns to Barnton, becomes acquainted with the Ladies Henrietta and Sophia Hope_Lady Glenorchy forms the design of building a chapel in Edinburgh-Circumstances attending laying the foundation-stone of that building - Extracts from Diary-Lady Glenorchy's great humility-Extracts from Diary from January 1, to February 7, 1773_Lady Glenorchy establishes a chapel at Strathfillan, in the parish of Killin, and places it under the direction of the Society in Scotland for Propagating Christian Knowledge -Lady Glenorchy goes to Taymouth-Becomes more and more neces, sary to Lord BreadalbanePeculiar Christian experience Extracts, from Diary.

DEEP seriousness and religious feeling, were the habits which continually occupied the mind of Lady Glenorchy; yet she was, as we before observed, possessed of strong natural abilities and talents for business, and showed by her own practice, that true piety and a becoming attention to worldly matters, are far from being inconsistent and incompatible things. Having now the command of her time, she took her secular affairs into her own management, and permitted the intervention of men of business as little as possible. She was neither suspicious on the one hand, nor credulous on the other; and although she did not possess perhaps what is commonly denominated sharpness in worldly transactions, she had nevertheless penetration and caution sufficient to prevent any gross impositions being practised upon her. She let her farms, and collected her rents. But she never appeared at any time in a court of law, either as plaintiff or defendant, and yet she was never known to have suffered

any

material loss in her pecuniary concerns. Her personal appearance at Barnton'was, of course, at times indispensably requisite. Accordingly, we find her there in the month of June this year, and this place must now be considered, in a sense, as her home. She, however, at the earnest desire of Lord Breadalbane, and that, too, frequently at a great deal of personal inconvenience, always attended him during the summer and autumn months at Taymouth, to the very end of his life, and for the most part spent the winter in Edinburgh; from which circumstances she could comparatively pass little of her time at Barnton. She was at this period employed in finishing the external arrangements and embellishments of Barnton, that its appearance might not with any justice be subjected to the censure of those in superior life who might occasionally visit it. These circumstances, however, she considered unworthy of being noticed in her Diary, which she confined to nobler and more important pursuits. Whilst she attended to duties of a temporal nature in their own place, she was much more seriously and earnestly engaged in arranging the state of her heart, that it might appear blameless in the sight of God. The former she found no difficulty in accomplishing; the latter, although she attended to it early and late, and with all her might, she could not reduce to the order she wished, and which was the almost constant subject of her thoughts, and her prayers, and her lamentations, and her tears before God, and the cause of which she searched for, as with lighted

« ПредыдущаяПродолжить »