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and civilisation ; no power, most a solecism for the American however constitutional in form, union to call that a rebellion, which which is subject to it, can be any- is a rising against itself in a State thing but reactionary. The unfor- which has no head (since kingly tunate Pope has the peculiar prestige is denied to the president), quality of bringing all his best and assumes rather the form of a friends to grief. He has ruined the dissolution of a commercial partnerKing of Naples as he ruined Charles ship without the leave of all the X. and the elder branch of the members of the firm ; and to be Bourbons. It is a question now, able to give the name of rebellion whether the empire of Austria will to any rising against authority save itself by throwing overboard with truth and justice, is always a the Concordat. The princes of the tower of strength to the executive House of Orleans, if they expect any government. So that a mona

narchy, sympathy from the good sense of where one man or woman repreEurope, must make their connection sents the divine power of law, has as slight as may be with that Papacy the advantage, not possessed by a whose weakness is only equalled republic, of being able to stigmatise by its wickedness, and which sends as rebels its disobedient subjects ; its begging-boxes through Catholic and is, therefore, less liable to fali Europe, to enable it to keep bri- to pieces. gands in pay, that its dying teeth Granting, however, all that may may meet in the flesh of resuscitated be said in favour of constitutional Italy.

monarchy in the abstract, the quesOn simple constitutional grounds, tion arises whether a despotism may we should naturally sympathise not possibly be a better form of with the House of Orleans, deplore government for a state that either their ejection from power, and wish has not come to years of discretion, for their speedy return. Consti- or whose wise teeth, though it be tutional monarchy shows at the old, have not, from some peculiarity present time, more decidedly than of constitution, ever been cut at ever, to greatest advantage as a form all. And then arises the peculiar of government. Democracy has application of this question to been often discredited as inherently France. France had constitutional liable to culminate in military des- governors in the House of Orleans ; potism; it is now discredited by its she gave one wanton kick-up, and apparent tendency, when in a federal they lost their seat without a form, to dissolution : for it seems al- struggle.


It has always been held amongst noble savages who came to lay Lonthe learned, who write histories and don waste be hailed, in their turn, other kinds of hard reading, that by the philosophical historian, as the world was very much improved, the regenerators of Europe ? on the whole, by the irruption of I confess, putting myself into the the barbarians upon the Roman very impossible case of a commenEmpire. It is true that, inasmuch tator on the last days of the Engas these learned writers themselves lish Empire, when it had been succlaim to be the legitimate descend- ceeded by the new blood of a ruder ants of the so-called barbarians, we race—I can fancy quite as unchariare bound to take their evidence table remarks made upon us as we with some reserve; and it is very are fond of lavishing upon the Ropossible that, if our old classical mans under Augustulus. I could friends had survived the storm, and find it in my heart to admit of such beaten back Ostrogoth and Visigoth a barbarian inundation, what Mr to their native wildernesses, and Froude handsomely admits of the had been able to write their own Reformation, that it might not be history of the world from that time quite an unmixed evil; that it forth, they would have proved quite might possibly clear away some soas clearly how much the cause of cial rubbish, and give us a fillip into improvement, moral and social, was more healthy and vigorous life. indebted to their successful resist- Not that I am prepared to deny ance of the invaders. It is so much that modern civilisation has been the fashion with modern political productive of some advantages to writers to compare our own civili- mankind. I am not going to argue sation with the Roman—to specu- in defence of savagedom as a whole. late upon the probable decadence The days are long gone by in which, of all nations in their turn, after like other philosophers of eight reaching their culminating point of years old, I longed to be a little prosperity, asserting that states, like savage, and “ held the grey barindividuals, first “ripe, and ripe, barian" happier "than the Chrisand ripe," and then, from genera- tian child." The terrible discipline tion to generation, "rot, and rot, of washings and scrubbings, and and rot”—that really one has got to forcible hair-brushings, and putting look upon the probable fate of Eng- on of clean collars and pinafores, land as merely a question of time, and other penalties of small civilised and to fancy one hears the tramp of life, are no longer so objectionable the advancing hordes—from Central in my eyes as they then appeared. Africa, or elsewhere--already thun- To wish one was a pig, because he dering in the distance.

could eat without being restricted And this raises a question in the by nursery etiquette as to the minds of modest people like myself, manual exercise of knife, fork, and who are unwilling to claim quite spoon—could even put his foot into so large a share of perfection for his plate if he found it convenient, ourselves, or the age we live in, as much more his fingers, and was some do, as to the possible ver- never subjected to the miseries of dict of the future historian in our the small-tooth comb—to envy the case, supposing this second bar- sheep, because they carried all their barian conquest completed. Would clothes fast to their backs, were he, too, speak of us as a degene- never undressed but once a-year, rated stock, and describe all our and were troubled with neither modern arts and appliances as “an buttons nor boot-laces—to long for etfete civilisation"? Would the the life of the cows, who stood up


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to their knees in the nice cool mud be only in blubber and train-oilall through the hot summer day appropriated by a hungry neighbour (seen through the window while I whose lawful fisheries have been was declining bonus in the Eton less successful. It is possible that Grammar)these are visions which the loss, in the first case, may prehave long since faded, like other vent you from sending your boys dreams of youth. I am not sure to Eton, as you had promised yourwhether it is the development of self, and as they had a right to exmy moral and ästhetic perceptions, pect; but it must be remembered or merely the force of habit, but I that, on the latter hypothesis, those think I now do really prefer a silver young gentlemen would be thrown fork to my fingers, and would rather altogether upon their own finding go through bonus than the mud. in a world in which there would be Indeed, the march of improvement very little to be found, and where has reached even the lower animal there would not be even a worklife, which then seemed so enviable house or a Refuge for the Destiin its unfettered simplicity. Piggy tute, far less any chance of “smart is now (in our model farms) washed young men” being always wanted and scrubbed, and has his hair for her Majesty's service. combed-though he is still, I be- No; I am quite willing, in all lieve, deficient in dinner-table ob- these important points, to accept servances; the sheep have little civilisation as it stands, with its coats made to wear in cold weather good and its evil largely developed, after shearing; and the unhappy but let us hope with the good taking cow is tied up all day and stall-fed, longer strides than the evil. It is and Miss Martineau (who has mes- not the immoralities of modern remerised cows, and is therefore ac- finement, but its inconveniences, of quainted with all their private feel- which I complain; it is the hope of ings) declares that she likes it—and getting rid of some of these which although Once a Week, in which the alone could make the chances of a statement first appeared, is taken second barbarian conquest tolerable. in I believe at all respectable dairies, There are a great many inventions no cow has hitherto ventured to amongst us of which necessity was come forward to contradict the as- never the mother, and which we sertion.

should be a great deal more comfortNor is it a theory which finds able without. The obstructive prinmuch favour in my eyes, that the ciple which is happily so active in unsophisticated vices of the savage the human mind, and tends to the are more tolerable than the culti- rejection of all novelties as abomivated rascality of civilised com- nations, is a much more valuable munities. If one must be robbed element of human society than is and murdered, it is just as well to commonly admitted.

There was have it done civilly. A man may great and sublime wisdom in the as well be poisoned to secure the principle which the world acted insurance on his life, as be knocked upon in what we call its dark ages, on the head for the sake of a co- of burning a very prominent inveted tenpenny nail- unless, in- ventor occasionally, as a manifest deed, a very strong-minded philan- disciple of the evil one ; not that thropist might take comfort from such a proceeding is desirable in the thought that, in the latter case, actual practice, but it rested upon his remains would probably be util- a basis of truth. One understands ised—by being eaten. Nor is it how Jabal, and Jubal, and Tubalreally a harder case to lose your Cain sprang from the loins of the bank shares by the “unfortunate first evil-doer. For after all, even speculations” of a director (quite in this estate of childhood, the the gentleman), than to have all world had sense enough to know your next year's income-even if it its real friends. One class of inventors and discoverers, who intro- black dust that chokes your nostrils duced the real arts of life, were and spoils your clothes, and afraid deified instead of being persecuted. to shut them for fear of being stifled. Bacchus, and Triptolemus, and Or- The old exhilarating feeling of “the pheus-or even, in another hemi- road” is gone.

Even if you possphere, the mysterious Hiawatha— sessed enough of the good old printhose who brought true divine gifts, ciple to defy the rail and all its corn, and wine, and song - were works, and stick to the turnpike, voted seats in the halls of the gods. there are no longer any decent The genius of man is so prone to posters to draw you, or any decent invention, that some decisive check inns to put up at; and the road itupon it is imperatively demanded, self is no longer the lively thoroughto prevent human life from being fare of old days : you will meet strangled in an ingenious system nothing in a run of ten miles better of helps and contrivances. We than a donkey-cart or a shabby affect to smile at the shortsighted- railway omnibus. As to travelling ness of the parliamentary com- by the rail itself, one may as well mittee who laughed at Stephenson be a parcel for any pleasure that and his milways; but it would be a rational being can find in that very well for us all if parliamentary mode of conveyance. You are pretty and other committees never did any safe to be delivered at your destinamore foolish things. They were tion in due course, and that is the like the Roman college who con- best that can be said of it. Indeed, demned Galileo—they were wrong it would be a great blessing to a in the point of fact; but every wise good many bewildered passengers, man sees they were right in prin- male and female, and to the troubciple. Things had gone on very led officials who have to answer the well and regularly, on the whole, same questions a thousand times under the Ptolemaic system, while a-day (and therefore not always in the earth was supposed to stand the politest manner), if they were still; and the notion of its moving treated as parcels in every respect, about under one was certainly very and not only booked but packed and uncomfortable—not rashly to be ad- directed—of course “With Care; mitted, by any means. So, really, this side upwards.” life was very enjoyable during the However, since the great object reign of stage-coaches : twelve miles of human life at present seems to an hour including stoppages was be to get from Manchester to Lonvery pretty travelling; and the pub- don, and from London to the Land's lic were not going to be tied to the End, in the shortest possible space tail of teakettles, and whisked about of time, it must be conceded that at the rate of a mile in two minutes, the rail answers its purpose ; and without a fair amount of decent re- the private feelings of slow people sistance. And there was, and still like myself must be sacrificed under is, much to be said on both sides the wheels of the steam Juggernaut. even in the matter of railways. The new Attila will come upon his Locomotion has been very much march of regeneration no doubt by facilitated, no doubt; and as a con- an express train. Nor let this feeble sequence, a home-keeping English- pen attempt any hopeless remonman, or English - woman, is be- strance against the atrocities of come a very scarce article. But modern costume, though that alone travelling, in any proper sense of cries aloud for an avenging Nemesis. the word, has been almost extin- Crinoline and pegtops shall here be guished. There can be no possible sacred. In such matters, satire and enjoyment, even in the loveliest sumptuary laws have always been weather, in flying along between found powerless alike. Not only cuttings and through tunnels, afraid decency and convenience, but even to keep the window open for the bodily danger, is bravely disregarded


in the march of fashion. A well- consider it then in a state of fullknown wit, protesting against the dress for the season, or, as in the locking-up of passengers in a rail- case of the Natal beauties, for the way carriage, declared'that the prac- term of their natural lives. To tice would never be given up by the something like this, however, we directors until some person of con- are fast coming in another direction; sequence—a bishop at the very least at this moment I see advertised, as -had been burnt as a martyr to “the ladies' friend to all those who the custom. But judging from study economy” (and dirt), the

” facts, it would seem that a holocaust Sansplectum Skirt — the Indisof the female aristocracy would not pensable Jupon”—“can at all times persuade the survivors to reduce an be kept perfectly clean by the simple inch of skirt. It would have no use of a wet sponge.' We know more effect than the awful example already there are to be “No more recorded by Punch in a case of the Wrinkles"_“No more Grey Hair" opposite sex—of a young gentleman - but here is an advertisement who had his head cut off by his which should have been headed“ all-rounder.”

“No more Clean Linen!” A wet Besides, it is not clear from what sponge, and a few of the new paper quarter one could hope for a purer collars, will make our modern taste in these matters to be imported heroine quite independent of such into Europe. In such an immigra- luxuries, or even of Sir Charles tion as I have been imagining, there Napier's “bit of soap;" and she would be some risk of the most will accomplish her travels, like the desirable barbarians bringing with ladies of old romance, not, perhaps, them private fancies of costume exactly simplex munditus,but quite as inconvenient and indefen- without troubling hercavalier on the sible. I confess—for I have every disputed point of baggage. There

— wish to deal with the subject fairly is certainly one style of costume, and honestly—that the most ob- formerly prevalent under distinjectionable form of hat or bonnet guished patronage (if the statues ever worn is preferable, as a head- of Venus and the Graces may be dressing, to the castor-oil which depended upon as authentic), which some “coloured” ladies consider

is open to no such objections on the the correct thing. So I could bear score of taste, and which the Dinka with a slight suspicion of rouge and and Shillook ladies, by Mr Pethepearl-powder, judiciously subdued, rick's account, are prepared to inrather than with the remarkable troduce among us, and which may ornament, universally worn in the be described as the robe à l'innofirst circles among the ladies of cence. It would ruin the milliners, New Holland, of a large fish-bone no doubt-but that is a consummathrough the cartilage of the nose, or tion to which we might devoutly a quarter - pound weight pendant submit, especially since we are asfrom the lower lip. Even tattooing sured, by the best political econoof the newest patterns seems to me mists, that class interests are not for a questionable addition to feminine a moment to be considered when attractions; unless, indeed, in cases they come into collision with the of very remarkable ugliness, where public good; but its adoption (even it might perhaps be introduced with with the addition which the Dinka advantage. I had rather, as a mat- elegantes make to it, of a string of ter of personal taste, that the lady glass beads round the neck and I admire should pull her hair back waist) implies too severe and classifrom the roots in the most bold- cal a taste to be generally popular, faced Imperatrice fashion-if it was and would require a modification done every day than that she of our climate, as well as in our should make it up once a-year into ideas of propriety, which it must a solid mass with animal fat, and take a few geological ages to effect.


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