But One Hawker, who was more Dilatory than the Others in his Attendance at the Surveyors' Court, could find no Empty Corner for the Right to Occupy which he would Consent to Pay even 61d. ; and Him the City Fathers Graciously Permitted to Nail down his Cart without Paying even a Farthing. For if they would not Grant him This Permission, he declared that he would Return his Handcart to the Dealer who Supplied it, and make his living as a Schoolmaster instead; and as the Mayor was Himself the Dealer who Supplied the Cart, and likewise a Respected Member of the School Board, the Licence was Duly Granted. And the Spot where the Cart was Finally Fastened Down was named by the King's Economist "The Marginal Plot," and thus it is known in the Books of All the Economists ever since.

Now there were Many Wise Heads in the City of Good Intentions who Protested against All these Proceedings, Raising a Great Outcry, that if the Poor Hawkers had to Pay These Fines "Their Goods Would Cost Them More." But as Time Went On, the Royal Statisticians found that it was Not So; and the King's Economist Enunciated a Law at which the Public Mocked, Namely, that "Ground Rents Do Not Enter Into The Prices of Goods Sold In Shops." And Thenceforward, Many Likened the King's Economist to the Royal Astrologer, who had Excited their Merriment Aforetime by Affirming that "The Earth Is Round" whereas EVERYMAN in the Kingdom of Nowhere can SEE that it is Flat. But the King's Economist Argued that though the Hawkers had to Charge their Customers, as Before, a Price for All their Goods, Sufficient to Cover the £25 Annual Hire of

the Handcarts, and Sufficient to leave themselves what they called "A Living Wage "-this being, in the Mouths of Some of them, £500 a year, and, in the Mouths of Other Some, £50-they Charged No More Now, After these Annual Fines were Levied for the Right to Anchor their Shops Along the Highways. Indeed, it was found that goods were Often Rather Cheaper when Bought from the Shrewd Hawker who Paid £50 a year for the Central Site, than when Bought from the More Dilatory Shopkeepers of the Outer Circle.

And thus things went on in the City of Good Intentions; and the Hawkers Prospered, and the Rates and other Taxes were Reduced from year to year, through the growth in the Revenue received in the form of Annual Fines. But later, in this Kingdom of Nowhere, there followed a period of Anarchy and Confusion, concerning which the Historical Records are Scanty and Incomplete. And when Order came again, the Historians noted, with a Mild Surprise, and with many a Wild Surmise as to the Cause thereof, that no longer were the Fines paid by the Hawkers to the Officials of the Corporation, but, instead, to an Unofficial Class of Wealthy Folk, who called themselves "The Ground Landlords." How this came about there was Much Disputing. Some Historians asserted that the Right to receive the Fines was granted by the City Fathers to the Ground Landlords (many of whom were Themselves Members of the Corporation) in return for Public Service, in Equipping Special Contingents to Ward Off the Attacks of Pirates, or in Watching, like Shepherds, over the Morals of the Common Herd (In the former case, the Registers of the Corporation,

so the Research Students declared, called the Annual Fines by the name of Feudal Dues; and in the latter, by the name of Tithe.) Others, however, averred that the Ground Landlords Themselves were a Species of Pirates, being Alien Invaders who, in the Period of Confusion, descended as Conquerors upon the Kingdom of Nowhere from the Far Land of Normandie (Lat. 150° N., Long. 440° W.) But All This Disputing, both the "Radds" and the "Taories "1 agreed, was about a point of Merely Antiquarian Interest. For Many Good Citizens, who had amassed wealth by Manufacture and by Trade, had Bought from the Original Ground Landlords the Right to receive the Fines; and so whether the Original Ground Landlords were the State's Best Friends or its Worst Enemies matters little (they said), for we cannot Now get back for the Corporation the Annual Revenue of Fines, save by Purchase from the Landlords: we cannot Confiscate Wealth that in many cases is the Fruit of Social Service, performed in the Workshop, on the Farm, or at the Wharves. But-as a Certain Seer (or as the Taories Surnamed him "the Uncertain See-er") from the Wellch Borders pointed out-if the Hawkers should In Future be in a 1 Also known, according to Dean Swift, the Professor of Antiquities, as the Big-Endians and the LittleEndians "-from the Diverse Modes, it is said, in which they dealt with a Political Implement called a Wedge.' The Radds were chiefly Migrants to the Mill Country of the Middle North, Students of Metapheesics in the Highlands, and Minstrels who played symphonies on Instruments called Consonants among the Cambrian Hills. The Taories mostly stayed in the South and sold goods to the Samurai, or were dotted about the land in Fortresses called "Kathedralcities," which they held with Much Pertinacity against the Machinations of the Radds.

position to pay Heavier Fines than Before-and this seemed a Not Unlikely Thing, for the City was Growing Apace and the Crowds that thronged the Thoroughfares to buy became every year denser and More Prosperous-the City Fathers might With Reason Confiscate these Additions to the Earlier Annual Fines; and to these Additional Fines the Bard Poetically gave the name of "Unearned Increments," and the Songs he Composed about them sounded Full Sweetly when played on the Instruments called "Consonants" by the Other Minstrels of the Wellch Borders. And this Advice, in some Small Measure, the City Fathers adopted ; with the Result that the Ground Landlords Gnashed their Teeth, and Wept; and Ceased Subscribing to the School Fund and the Hospitals. But the Populace Followed after the Bard, and greeted ALL his Songs with Tumultuous Applause. "For " (said they)

"He sings of what the World will be,

When the years have died away."

Now this name of Unearned Increments' given to these Additional Fines by the Wellch Seer was declared by the King's Economist to be Not a Scientific Appellation, But a Poetic Licence, to wit, a Terminological Inexactitude. For All Wealth, as all wise Authors are agreed, must be Earned by Some One, either in the Sweat of his Brow, or in the Agony of the Brain, or by his SelfRestraint in Not Consuming what these Other Folk Require. But while Some Few of the Increments are earned by the Landlords Themselves, Some are Created by the Hawkers (or, as Most Writers in the Post-Diluvian Period prefer to call them, 'The Tenants") through the Sagacious Construc

I

tional Changes they make in the Architecture of their Handcarts and through the building-up of Special Fields of Custom (called Good Will," and possessing a Right Good Market Valuesometimes); while Yet Others are Due to the Community-At-Large Actively Pursuing its Manifold Lines of Activity In and About the Neighbourhood, and thus building up the Prosperity of all Hawkers of Goods and Services. And thus it was seen to be Incumbent on the Sagacious Fathers of the City, who Twisted their Beards Mightily Over the Problem, to Act Warily, leaving to the Landlord what the Landlord had created, giving to the Tenant what the Tenant had earned, and Confiscating for the Community Only what the Community Itself Produced. But neither Ground Landlord nor Tenant (it was Sagely pointed out) should have a Right to Compensation for " Unearned Decrements "-a New Tune this, Invented by the Taories, any more than a Physician could claim it for a Falling Off in His Income through the Community Growing More Healthy in their Manner of Living and Buying Only Medicaments that were Advertised on the Hoardings, or the Schoolmaster, because the Schoolboys of the City became so Eagerly Industrious and likewise So Intelligent (through the Fruitful Application of the New Nostrum called "Eugenics") that they could Learn All Their Lessons Without Teaching At Home.

This then is what happened in the Kingdom of Nowhere. And by studying the history of that distracted kingdom we can perhaps see more clearly what happens here in Merrie England.

For the use of shop, mill, and factory, residential