the rose of health on their cheeks; and if my labours should have no other effect than to stimulate young ladies on this single point, their utility will, I am confident, be universally acknowledged. Temper-Agreeableness-Truth and Falsehood. MY ESTEEMED PUPILS, As the art of being happy arises from being contented in our station, healthy and cheerful; as well as agreeable to others, that they may be well disposed towards us, so each of these points merits our special attention. The last quality, THE being AGREEABLE, is by far the most extensive in the attention which it demands; and, in fact, it includes the whole range of education, discipline, and instruction of every kind. We cannot be agreeable if we are not virtuous; if we are the slaves of any vice; if we disgust by ill manners, a contradictory spirit, personal vanity, self-conceit, haughty carriage, forbidding pride, or filthy habits; if we are not intelligent on common subjects; and if we cannot join with grace and spirit in the customary amusements of our companions. Nothing atones for being disagreeable. "True," it was said of a young lady," she has a good figure and is handsome; but then she is so ignorant, or so vain, or so conceited, or so frivolous, or so censorious, or so given to inventions, that I cannot endure her, and I take great care to keep her at a distance." Again, another exclaims of a young heiress, " true, she has great expectations, but then she is so full of herself, so disdainful, so proud, so cross, and so selfwilled, that it is a severe punishment to endure her society." Hence, my dear children, it is necessary, if you enjoy advantages, to cultivate your minds, to excel in ordinary accomplishments, to be pleasant, affable, liberal, and good humoured; and then, if to these qualities you unite beauty or fortune, or both, your passage through life will be strewed with flowers, at least as far as depends on yourself and on the ordinary course of events. I forbear to dwell, at tedious length, on the bad qualities which I wish you to avoid, because you may always see them in any of your school-mates who render themselves disagreeable, till they know better, or are improved; but I warn you to view their foibles as rocks to be shunned, which, if entangled with your fortunes, will wreck all your hopes, and be the means of overwhelming you with misery. There is a je ne scais quoi, about the agreeable and disagreeable, which renders it useless to lay down rules, and the best way of being the one is to copy good examples, and of not being the other, to avoid doing those things yourselves which in others are offensive. Let your goodness, however, sit easy upon you, and this will always be the case if it is habitual and engrafted in your character. Those who are only amiable for particular occasions act under restraint, and thereby display those odious features of character, affectation and insincerity. Be what you ought to be, and as you ought to be-virtuous and amiable; so if you are virtuous and amiable, you will have no occasion to act a forced or hypocritical part. No veil is so transparent as the affectation by which young ladies seek to appear what they are not. They deceive none but themselves in supposing that the deception is not detected; while detection lowers them far more than an open display of those bad qualities which, by their mincing manner and their awkward acting, they affect to disguise. Allied to affectation of manners is insincerity of principles and professions. To be insincere is to have a bad quality which deprives its possessor of affection and friendship. It is playing the cheat not for pelf, but for purposes of deception and treachery. It is falsehood of character, and more to be dreaded than falsehood of words. The latter is mean and disgraceful, but the former is highly dangerous to those who are its dupes. On the contrary, sincerity, openness, frankness, and singleness of character and conduct, not merely ensure esteem, but are followed by self-satisfaction and agreeable retrospections, which double-dealing can never acquire. On so contemptible a weakness as telling falsehoods, I forbear to dwell. It is the lowest resort of the feeblest minds. It is the first step, too, in the ladder of crime. She who ascends this step is in danger of greater sins. Tremble, therefore, at the recollection of the first falsehood you may have told, and as an atonement, resolve never to tell another. The excuse in justification is some error committed, or some fault to be concealed; but remember, that honest confession is, before God and man, the best reparation that can be made, and the surest means of obtaining forgiveness ;-while concealment by falsehood adds ten-fold to the error or fault, whatever it may have been. LETTER V. Scandal-Tale-bearing-Gossiping-Charity- MY ESTEEMED CHILDREN, I dwell on practical faults because they are the common sources of unhappiness, and I wish you to avoid them and to be happy. In close alliance with paltry falsehoods about trifles, and growing out of indulgence in that vice, are the greater crimes of slandering, backbiting, and scandalizing others. This propensity is the greatest misfortune that can befall you, and if not conquered in your youth, will so increase with your years as to render you the bane of any society in which you move. What nuisance is so great as a tattling, gossiping, tale-bearing woman, whether young or old? In ancient times, when women were detected in their calumnies, they were ducked in a well, or made to stand in a white sheet in the church; but we now are content with sending them to Coventry, or cutting their acquaintance, though banishment to New South Wales would, in general, be a fitter punishment. Women who have no family cares or better business, often employ themselves, as mere pastime, in collecting reports about others, and carrying them from house to house, or from party to party. No reputation, virtue, or talent, is secure against their open accusations, wicked insinuations, or crafty inuendoes. They fancy they elevate themselves as they sink others, and generally end their stories with a good lack! or, a Lord have mercy on the wickedness of the age, or the depravity of the parties, in regard to whom, they thank God, that they are not such sinners, or not so unfortunate. They generally begin by depreciating all scandal, and professing an hypocritical love of truth: "Have you heard of this affair about the Joneses and Smiths?I confess I dont believe it, and think it shameful that such things should be said;-I don't answer for it, and mark, its not my invention, but if true, it ought to be cleared up-I always thought there was something strange about them, and this story confirms my suspicions.-It is shocking to think what a wicked and censorious world we live inI would not be so talked about for all the world." Such in words or substance are the prologues to half the falsehoods that make mankind uncomfortable. It is your duty, before the prologue is finished, to retire; or, if you are old enough, to change the conversation. Observe, however, that well-bred persons never traduce others, lest they should hurt the feelings of their friends present, and more especially lest they should be called to account and lose their respectability in society. Nor does any high spirited person ever allow another to be lowered in his estimation, unless the charges are accompanied by formal proofs, such as would satisfy a court of law. If therefore you wish to pass for a lady of the best manners and morals, and consult your peace, you will forbear to retail scandal, never detract from the characters of others, never speak of them behind their backs, except in terms of commendation, and in a word, keep God's commandment, and never bear false witness against your neighbour. Mind your own business, take care of your own character, and leave the business and characters of other people to themselves, unless you can aid merit by holding it up to admiration. Sometimes scandal has its foundation in unreasonable or weak prejudices. Religion, party, stature, dress, pursuit, family connexion, and even dislikes for which no reason or even definable whim can be assigned, lead to systematic detraction. "I should like Mrs. Smith very well," exclaims a fantastical young lady, "but she is so fat, or so tall, so ugly or so deformed, that I can't bear her." So that poor Mrs. Smith, who is perhaps the most amiable woman in the world, and as such, merits the love of every one, has a bitter enemy for a cause which is not a fault, while all the fault is on the other side. Prejudices should be conquered of whatever kind or on whatever subject. To cherish them bespeaks ignorance or a narrow understanding. We dislike |