Enter Servant. Supper is on the table, sir, and mistress says it will get cold if you don't come down directly. E. Tell your mistress we will come at once. M. Well, Esterling, we can both say with Gamaliel, 'If this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought; but if it be of God, we cannot overthrow it.' E. Nay, Gamaliel was a Jew! We can do more than that. Let us pray that God, for Christ's sake, will bless it, and make it a means of eternal blessing to all men. M. Worthy of my English friend and Christian brother! A Catechism of Humbug.* A VERY odd book to write, and equally odd and very infra dig. many will think for the grave and serious Christian Spectator' to condescend upon; both of which opinions will be entirely changed long before the reader has finished this article. There is as much mystery about the authorship of this clever little brochure as once hung over the authorship of Southey's 'Doctor;' and as that wonderful medley was pronounced by a staid old lady just parfit nonsense; so we fear much of this book will be misunderstood, especially by those to whom it is specially adapted. Gossip some years ago attributed this 'Catechism' to a learned prelate of the Church of Ireland, and those who ought to know have assured us there can be no doubt in the matter, and certainly internal evidence is not wanting to suggest the same pen and the same logical acumen that gave the world the 'Historic Doubts concerning the existence of Napoleon Buonaparte.' It is now nearly a quarter of a century since its publication, and we believe we are correct in saying, that, from some cause or other, the copies remaining unsold shortly after their issue were bought up, so that it is now next to impossible to get one. The spirit of the age, twenty years ago, was, it seems, equally paradoxical as at present, and furnishes another illustration of nothing new being under the sun. Our masked satirist thus describes the characteristics of his times; and the lapse of so many years has not greatly improved them:- An age which has consolidated, melted down, and purified, all the wisdom, learning, prejudices, and ignorance of all former ages, whether of iron, brass, or tin, and has converted them into a kind of German silver, which looks and sounds as well, and therefore must be as valuable as the oldfashioned sterling metal, and more valuable for being cheaper; an *The Catechism of Humbug; by a Fellow of the University of London: intended for the use of the students therein. Dublin: Hodges and Smith, 21, College Green. 1835. age which, as it has outstripped all past, so it is also to excel all future ages, in every thing that can make one age to differ as much as possible from another; an age of superlatives, when every thing good is better, and every thing bad is worse than it was ever known to be before;-an age of universal knowledge without study, huge undertakings without capital, good breeding without politeness, retrenchment without saving, reform without improvement, and fashion without anything; things formerly difficult, now made easy to the meanest understanding;-things once considered simple, now rendered incomprehensible, even to those who have made them so by their fanciful explanations; ancient allies chastised in mistake for enemies, and natural enemies hugged like spoiled children;-hospitals and asylums for old men and young children shut up, while expensive establishments are maintained for tigers and alligators;-an age-when starving Irishmen walk barefoot through England, in search of some one to keep them alive; while their well-fed pigs are whirled in steam-coaches at twenty miles an hour in search of somebody to kill them;—an agewhere shall I stop?-of polar expeditions and political economy; discovery and discontent; Roman Catholic emancipation and Roman cement palaces; railroads and reform; union of trades and unknown tongues; whims of every kind and whigs of no kind; sham humanity and real humbug.' Over such an age our author sheds no tears, nor indulges in any spiteful utterances; and being confined to his room, and having nothing else to do,' he resolved to write this book; this fragment of a great work, which is to effect mighty changes in the conduct of society to teach men to throw off the flimsy mask of pretended respect for truth, which so badly fits their practical disregard of it, and to act honestly on that principle, or want of principle, which has such complete sway over their motives and conduct.' Some fragments of this fragment' we are about to give our readers, the more acceptable as the original is inaccessible to them. Perhaps we need not altogether deplore the characteristics of the age just quoted, since they have suggested this piquant Catechism, the author of which, exempt of course from any tendency to these vanities or falsehoods, has doubtless said to society in general, what Apemantus long since said to Timon in particular-No; I'll nothing; for if I should be bribed too, there would be none left to rail upon thee.' At any rate, his raillery, as we shall now see, is the raillery of a scholar and a gentleman, and not of the cynic or misanthrope of Shakesperian conception. In enumerating the characteristics of the nineteenth century, humanity and humbug,' finished the sentence by way we are told of antithesis, because an antithesis sounds well at the close of a long sentence; and this recollect is a valuable secret in writing, and one which comes within the province of this identical humbug; because a good antithesis stamps as current many a false principle and many a nonsensical axiom. Although, *E.g. Burke's aphorism, that vice loses half its evil by losing all its grossness;' or as improved on by a lady, 'vice loses all its deformity by losing half its grossness." therefore, it is many centuries since Solomon discovered that all was humbug, it is only in these modern times it has assumed the form of a system, so that there is now in most people a positive inclination to be humbugged.' This disposition forms the ground-work of the speeches of statesmen, and of the advertisement of all patent inventions; it regulates alike the phraseology of science and the forms of good breeding; it presides in courts of justice, counsels in the chamber of the invalid, and sometimes dogmatizes in the pulpit. But we must come to the Catechism itself, and proceed to the exposition of our theme in catechetical form, a mode of teaching, happily, going out of fashion, and except in this instance, a very barbarous method of teaching young or old. Our readers will, we trust, believe that the following are veritable extracts, and that no deception is intended; if they should suspect otherwise, we would remind them that for the uninitiated it is just as well for them to listen to nonsense, which they cannot, as to truth, which they do not comprehend. Another antithesis be it observed, and at the close of a sentence too. The ars, not cacoethes, scribendi. 'What is humbug? It may be defined to be that propensity of the human mind which inclines us to convey to others, by our words or our actions, an impression concerning ourselves or other objects, which our conscience or our judgment does not sanction as correct. How is it distinguished from falsehood or deceit ? 'Some species of it are scarcely distinguishable; and such may be considered as forming the connecting link between these two propensities; but in general humbug does not operate by the same means as falsehood. To what is humbug generally opposed? To sincerity, as direct falsehood is to truth. How is it divided? 'Into active and passive; or in other words, a propensity to humbug others, and a propensity to be humbugged ourselves. How are the objects of these propensities respectively termed? The object of the active propensity is called a humbugger; and of the passive, a humbuggee; but the former is more commonly termed a sharp, and the latter a flat. 'What are those persons called who have neither intellect enough to be sharps, nor imagination enough to be flats? 'Naturals. 'How many are the simple modes of active humbug? "They may be reduced to four; the first two it possesses in common with direct falsehood; the last two are proper to itself. 'Name them. 'Pretending, dissembling, rigmaroling, and cajoling.' Then follow definitions of these terms, expressed with mathematical correctness and logical precision, and the 'fragment of the great work' begins to reveal itself in sundry chapters, extracts from which we are now about to make; and first: Of Pretending. How does pretence differ from that species of falsehood called simulation or suggestio falsi? It is more comprehensive; as though it often does employ falsehood, it frequently makes use of truth, and most commonly of a mixture of both together. What are the principal species of it? 'Pretence to knowledge, pretence to feelings, and pretence in external circum stances. Why has pretence to knowledge become necessary for upholding our charac ters in society? Because every man is expected to know, or at least to profess to know, every branch of knowledge; admitted ignorance upon any subject is justly considered as disgraceful; and as few have leisure or abilities for universal study, pretence to knowledge becomes necessary. 'Whence has arisen this thirst for universal knowledge? 'It is not so much the knowledge, as the reputation for it, that is coveted; and that desire has in a great measure been fostered, like most other propensities, by the facilities which exist for gratifying it. Is, then, pretence to knowledge laudable? Unquestionably. Happiness is the great object of society, and whatever raises a man in the opinion of others, and consequently in his own, ministers to his vanity and self-esteem, and, therefore, to his happiness. Is no injury inflicted on society by lowering the standard of truth? None. The error was in imposing any standard value upon it at all. The value is not necessarily lowered, but simply removed, and truth is left to find its own level. Has truth then no intrinsic value? None. Like every other commodity, its value must depend upon the market; it is worth just what it will bring; and it was only raised to an unnatural value by the prohibition upon falsehood. 'Is, then, the employment of truth or falsehood a matter of indifference? 'Quite so to those who understand their proper use; and on such as have any remaining prejudices in favour of the supposed intrinsic value of truth it can be successfully urged that, just as a credit circulation is preferable to a metallic currency, it is a foolish waste of capital where humbug passes as current as bank notes, and direct falsehood is discounted on liberal terms, to persevere in the employment of so costly a medium as truth in our dealings with society, when we might better treasure it up as a curiosity which may some day or other find admirers, or export it to America, where, by all accounts, the market is not overstocked.' Section second opens with a similarly sharp fusillade on pretence to feeling; reminding us of the familiar lines in which the same thought is expressed without any pretence. 6 'Sweet is a legacy; and passing sweet The unexpected death of some old lady, Or gentleman of seventy years complete, Who've made us youth" wait too, too long already Our unbeknown' but respected author puts the thing more plainly, though less poetically than this, as the following passages will prove; though, as we quote, we are afraid our readers will fancy we are 'making it all up out of our head;' if they do, let them inquire at 'all the booksellers' for this Catechism, and they will be disappointed: Mention some instances of pretence to feeling? 'Affectation of grief, as in deep mourning and long faces worn at the funeral of a rich relation; or of satisfaction, as in the warm congratulations we offer to a successful rival whom in our hearts we are wishing at Jericho; affectation of zeal, which abounds in the addresses of lawyers to a jury, and the speeches of party leaders of the House of Commons to their constituents; or of moderation, as in a starving nobleman who has unexpectedly succeeded to fifty thousand a-year, and wishes to appear most fashionably careless of his change of circumstances; affectation of regard, which is uniformly employed in refusing a favour to a friend; or of indifference towards an object we would give the world to obtain, but which is placed beyond our reach. 'You have not mentioned affectation of piety? "There is less to be got by this than by most other kinds of pretence; there is, however, some share of it in what is called inconsistently the religious world. * 'What is fashion, or pretence in external circumstances? * 'A certain supreme station in society, assumed by, and conceded to, a small number of individuals who exercise the sole power of admission to their privileged class. What are the advantages enjoyed by persons of fashion?* The liberty of saying and doing what they please, with the certainty of being admired and imitated by the vulgar; astonishing the natives, as it is called; and the advantage of unlimited credit upon all tradesmen whom they honour with their patronage. Does fashion depend upon rank? 'No. Upon a conformity with certain conventional habits and notions, in themselves trifling or irrational; an unruffled indifference to the opinions and affairs of all the world, except the exclusive set; and a sufficient degree of nonchalance to set up such qualifications, as pretensions to pre-eminence.' Our readers will, we fear, become weary of this catechetical process of our unknown or slightly-guessed-at author; we will therefore hasten towards a conclusion. To many, also, this calm dissection of society, regardless of the sufferings of those who are under the knife, may possibly appear too surgically heartless; still we confess to great satisfaction in seeing this same society thus turned inside out, and its foibles or humbugs made 'patent,' to use the stock term, to all observers; and trust that those who are thus anatomized will survive the operation. A few more brief quotations will be all we shall inflict on our readers. The following we cannot help, as members of the fourth estate, strongly condemning. No one who reads our literature, especially but we forbear-can hesitate in pronouncing the following either a calumny, or what is as bad, a piece of presumptuous ignorance. Not content with saying that the principal helps to These * This is an evident plagiarism from Southey, and is too bad in one writing on pretence. There are, however,' says Southey, three tribes in England, not named in the Old Testament, who considerably outnumber all the rest. are the High Vulgarites, who are the children of Rahank and Pashan; the Middle Vulgarites, who are the children of Mammon and Terade; and the Low Vulgarites, who are the children of Tahag, Rahag, Bohobtayul.' |