MR. PUNCH'S HISTORICAL CARTOONS. MR. G.'S ROOM IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.

"Then how did it get there ?" said the Ulster man, under the seat.

64

That's for you to explain," said the Colonel, politely assisting Ulster man to rise. "If, when a gentleman is taking his seat, an Hon. Member places his hat upon it, accidents will happen." Ulster man threatens to bring question under notice of SPEAKER. "Begad, I hope he will," said the Colonel, smiling grimly. "If you know the gentleman, TOBY, tell him I'll keep him in hats through Leap Year if he'll only do it. I should like to give the House an unadorned narrative of the incident. JOHN ROCHE's deer-stealing story would be nothing to it."

Business done.-Debate on Home-Rule Bill. Thursday.-GRANDOLPH back again at old post on Front Opposition Bench. All the Parliamentary world gathered to greet him. H.R.H. in old familiar seat over clock, whence, up to Monday, his plasent presence had long been missed. Not a seat vacant on Hoor of House. Galleries crammed, whilst, through grille of Ladies' Gallery, bright eyes rained influence. GRANDOLPH had arranged to resume Debate on Home-Rule Bill; should have come on bright and fresh as soon as questions were over. Meanwhile sat on Front Opposition Bench, awaiting the signal to dash in. Incessantly playing with beard, in fashion that testified to high state of nervousness.

Everything excellently planned, the man, the hour, and the surroundings. Only thing forgotten was the dog-dog, you know, that has a little place down at Epsom, and turns up on course just as the ranged horses are straining at the bit, and the flag is upheld for the fall. On this occasion, Irish dog, of course. Introduced in artfullest way. ESMONDE, mildest-mannered man that ever whipped for Irish party, casually, as if he were inviting him to have a cigarette, asked WOLMER across House whether it was true that he had called Irish Members "forty paid mercenaries"? WOLMER, an equally well-dressed, civil-spoken young man, smilingly admitted that it was quite true he had couched a remark in the terms quoted, but had certainly not meant anything offensive to Irish Members. Indeed general aspect of noble Lord, and his tone, suggested feeling of surprise that ESMONDE and his friends should not rather have felt complimented by the observation challenged.

This turned out to be polite crossing of swords before duel to the death, a shaking of hands before deadly set-to without gloves. SEXTON suddenly dashed in, and, with back-handed stroke at WOLMER, went for the Times who had adopted and improved upon the Viscount's genial remarks. Assault admirably planned; carried on with irresistible vigour, sweeping down earlier resistance of SPEAKER. Showed what SEXTON can do when so deeply moved as to forget himself, and resist besetting temptation to play the fatal wind bag.

An hour-and-half's tussle all round House; at end Irish held the field, and, without dissentient voice, Times article declared to be "gross and scandalous breach of privileges of House."

Saturday, 12:50, A.M.-Mr. G. just brought in Home- Rule Bill, amid ringing cheers from Ministerialists, who rise to their feet, and wildly wave their hats as PREMIER passes to table. Been some effective speaking on this last night of Debate. CHAMBERLAIN, BLAKE, and JOHN MORLEY, each excellent in varied way. Only few Members present to hear BODKIN insert maiden speech in dinnerhour. A remarkable effort, distinguished, among other things, by necessity of SPEAKER twice interposing, second time with ominous threat that BODKIN could not be tolerated much longer. BODKIN, resuming thread of his discourse, humbly apologised, kept his eye (BODKIN's eye) warily on SPEAKER, and, when he saw him preparing to rise for third time, abruptly resumed his seat,-returned hurriedly to the needle-case, so to speak,- and thus avoided worse things. Business dome. -Home-Rule Bill read a First Time.

"GOING FOR THE TIMES!"-CHARGE OF "MERCENARIES." "Once more unto the breach (of privilege) dear Friends!"-Henry the Fifth, Act iii. s. 1.

But the hour and half had passed, and with it RANDOLPH's chance of supreme success. House of Commons, though greedy for excitement, will never stand two doses in quick succession. After scene like that, which tonight filled House with fire and smoke, anything that follows is anticlimax. It was a cruel fate, which GRANDOLPH bore uncomplainingly, and fought against with quiet courage. Painfully nervous when he broke the silence of two years, the still crowded House had difficulty in catching his opening sentences. But, as he went on, he recovered himself, and regained mastery over an audience evidently eager to welcome his permanent return to position of old supremacy.

་་

Business done.-The Wanderer returned. Slow music. Air-
Come, Kill the fatted Calf."

REAL "DIPLOMACY."

66

THE OLD FRENCHMAN AND THE YOUNG.
(After a Well-known Original.)

"You are old, Le Grand Français,'
"" the young Frank said,
"And your hair has become very white.
Yet the Judges award you five years, it is said-
I can't think, at your age, it's quite right."

"Such Gaul gratitude, boy!" Le Grand Français replied,
"As it brightens history's page;

In my youth I served France, was her boast and her pride;
And France has forgotten my age."

No doubt of it! A great diplomatic stroke on the part of Mr. JOHN HARE is this revival of Diplomacy-i.e., SARDOU's Dora in an English-made dress-at the Garrick Theatre. An unequivocal "I HEAR," said Mrs. R., "that there is some question of real or success (of which more "in our next") on Saturday night for every-sham Constables at Burlington House. Why not refer it to the body; and, after the Play was over, the audience, inspired by Chief Commissioner of Police ?" "the gods," called Mr. and Mrs. BANCROFT before the curtain. Mrs. BANCROFT, in the course of an admirable little speech, said. "If I stood here till next week, I should not be able to express all I feel." Now as, by the right time, it was exactly 11'54 P.M. Saturday night, this clever lady would certainly not have been able in the time to express all she felt, or to say all she would have liked to say, seeing there were only six minutes left before "next week" began.

Sad, but True.

YOUR journalist may be a scribe of sense, or comicality,
Avoiding the sensational, the silly, and the shoppy;
But he can never make a claim to true originality,
His contributions always being recognised as
copy."

NOTICE.-Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.

As taught in straitest schools

The hammer of the Cram

mer

INDERWICKEDNESS.

and brighter times, "when all the world was young."

66

"I Do not wish to make a joke," Mr. When a good old joke is again brought INDERWICK, Q.C., is reported to have observed into Court with or without apology, instead in the course of examining the plaintiff in a of its being received with respectful silence, divorce case, but, in spite of this pathetic we should like to read that it was greeted announcement, which passed without any with "tears" or sobs." It would, indeed, comment from the Judge, the ruling passion not be unbecoming on the part of the Judge was too strong for him, and he continued, if, unable to control his emotion, he had "but Artists' models are not always models immediately arisen, and, in broken judicial of virtue, are they?" Not new, not by any utterances, had adjourned the Court for the means new, of course, but he had apologised day, out of respect to the memory (for old beforehand, and he couldn't help it; as the jokes) of the Leader or Junior who had weak heroine, who yields to strong tempta- apologetically perpetrated one. Should Mr.

Gladys. "LISTEN, SIBYL. PAPA HAS WON A GREAT MORAL VICTORY-WHAT
DOES A MORAL VICTORY MEAN EXACTLY?"

Sibyl (who has had more experience). "OH, IT MEANS-WELL, THAT WE ARE TO BE
Forging Bellona's THE VICTIMS OF POLITICAL ECONOMY, AND NOT GO TO LONDON, AFTER ALL!"

tools

Or words that humbly stammer
Regardless of the rules?
And what availeth fretting,

Deep sighs, and dwindling waist,
And what the sad forgetting
Of culinary taste,

Since still thou fondly spurnest
Five hundred thou. (or "thee."})
And on young STONEY turnest
Love's eye-(or is it "me" ?)

INDERWICK try this again,
the new effect, as above
suggested, may be ob-
tained to the satisfaction
of all parties, except,
maybe, those to the suit,
'whom," as one learned
brother might say with
another, and still pro-
founder apology, "such
a proceeding would not
suit at all."

66

66

LINES ON A LIFE-
BELT.

(After Waller's "On a
Girdle.")

["According to the evidence of the only two witnesses who sailed with her, no Life-belts were forthcoming, when the Life-belts might have given many of those on board a last chance of life." -The "Times" on the Inquiry into the Wreck of the "Roumania."]

Shipwrecked Passenger loquitur:THAT which would give me ease of mind, [find. And hope of life, I cannot No monarch but would give his crown

For a Life-belt, when ships go down.

It would relieve extremest
fear,

That circlet light, that
cork-lined sphere;
But in dark nooks below.
above, [trifles shove!
The careless crew such
A narrow compass, and
yet there

Dwells safety, but for
want of care.

Give me the Belt, which
can't be found,
And I might live, who
must be drowned!

A CERTAIN noble Lord was supposed to have somewhat disparaged one of his horses on

66

tion in a French novel or play, usually sale by describing him as a Whistler."
acknowledges "C'était plus fort que moi." JAMES MCNEILL, "of that ilk," was of
The inflammable materials being in close opinion that this description, supposing the
contact, there was nothing to 'inder-wick animal to have been "a genuine Whistler,"
from catching fire when in proximity to a ought to have increased its value considerably.
spark of genius. Yet so powerfully had the
eminent Queen's Counsel's prefatial apology
affected the Court and the audience, that
his saucy sally-(for there is life in the old
sally yet, whether in our alley or in this
Court) was not followed by the usually
reported "laughter." How was it received?

The Musical Coster Craze. Customer. Have you a copy of COSTA's Eli? Shopman. No, Sir; we have none of CHEVALIER's songs.

SUPERLATIVE!-The appointment of Mr. to be Governor of New South Wales is a

SAD CONCLUSION.-To be virtuous for Doubtless with decorous silence and down- DUFF, M. positive" good, seeing that they

virtue's sake, without prospect of reward, this is to be good for nothing!

VOL. CIV.

cast eyes, expressive of sweet memories of
dear old jokes made long ago, in happier might have appointed "a comparative Duffer."

K