2. O LORD, wilt Thou not look on me? How long shall I mock Thee, and deceive myself? How long art thou silent, O LORD? Where is Thy rod? Where Thy goad and staff? Why withdrawest Thou the judgment and hell from my eyes? If these were before me, thinkest Thou I should act carelessly? If Thou art silent for my amendment, Thou showest long-suffering; but if I despise it, wilt Thou not afterwards severely punish, if not here, assuredly hereafter? For no sin, small or great, shall go unpunished. But far better is punishment here, where weeping is fruitful, labour short, satisfaction more acceptable, reconciliation easier. Spare not then the rod, but anoint my eyes with keen salve; nor defer my punishment to the last, lest I be delivered over to the tormentors to pay the uttermost farthing. It is better now to be pierced a little and savingly, than hereafter to endure such bitter pangs.1 I must mourn then, and grieve bitterly for my sins. For many have I to weep for, and no cause to laugh. Darkness of heart, a slippery conscience, falls into sin, neglect of grace, persuade, nay often compel me from my needs to weep and groan. And when I think of the different temptations and assaults of sin, what room is there for laughter? Spare me, O LORD, spare me. No 1 Tormenta Purgatorii.

wonder is it, if touched by grief within, I weep, for it is the time for weeping. Happy hour! when sorrow for sin springs up within me. Blessed tear, which as every strain of the heart is considered, flows from the greatness of contrition.

3. And who can fully explore this abyss, and discover the hidden pollution without trembling? My GOD, True Light, Thou canst illumine all the darkness of my heart, and burn all its stains in the spirit of ardour and judgment. It is Thine to give a new heart, to create a clean one, and therein to prepare a secret dwelling, that it may be Thy resting place, and a tabernacle of Thy Name, Who art a lover of purity, and the guest of a good conscience. But because Thou dost not willingly visit a neglected house, and often leavest it to be defiled by wicked habits, therefore I fear lest this should be my lot. But do Thou mercifully and pitifully come to my aid to repair my ruins. Woe to him from whom in anger Thou hast departed. He has peace to whom Thou hast come, and with whom Thou remainest. Wretched man that I am, placed in the midst of snares, and weighed down by the chains of sin, what other counsel and remedy of salvation have I but to uplift my contrite eyes to Thee, if haply my cry may be heard in the heavens? For a polluted conscience will neither find nor have a more saving remedy, than

to feel deepest sorrow in prayer.

And how will

unseasonable temptation be better healed, so that it shall not prevail, except unceasing prayer be poured out to Thee, and a man humbles himself much? But who will give me this good to weep and pray as I ought? Whence can I gain humility, and so great abundance of tears? Doubtless from Thee, LORD, with Whom is mercy and plenteous redemption. Oh, LORD GOD, Giver of all grace, grant that I may worthily bewail my sins however small, and at the same time unsparingly chastise all whether concealed or open. Let these things dwelt upon between me and Thee, restore to me lost grace, and prepare me for better things, and bring me nearer to salvation.

CHAPTER IV.

On Lamentation for Negligence.

"THINE Eyes have seen my imperfections.”1 Ah! LORD GOD, what ever will become of me, since I sin daily? How shall I perfectly amend life? When will it be better with me? my When shall I recover my strength? And when shall I conquer all things? I am cast down in

1 Ps. cxxxix. 16.

the deep. Thinkest Thou there will yet be any hope of my rising again, amending, advancing, and attaining unto the end? I have no hope in myself; would it were more firmly rooted in Thee. Great despair is come upon me, because my infirmity increaseth from long trouble, and I see no end of my grief and iniquity. And if I say, now I will begin, behold, it is time, I will endeavour as best I can; sin forthwith stands before me, the enemy rises against me, and evil habits hold me firmly, against my will. See, O LORD, my despair, and abasement, and all the distress that I suffer. Let Thy Right Hand be lifted up, and deliver me from those that have shut me in, for the fear of them is fallen upon me. My purpose is undone, and my courage hath failed. My arm is broken, and my sword cannot save me. I see not to whom I can turn; and there is none to receive and take care of me. Thou alone remainest as my refuge; but my offences make me fear.

2. I have sinned, pardon me. I am altogether, and very deeply penitent. Do to me what seemeth right, and be gracious unto me. Justly hast Thou deserted me. Justly hast Thou handed me over to the adversary. Remember, I entreat Thee, Thy creation, and repair what is fallen, for of itself it could not stand. Mark my groaning, and my necessity. Let not the distress and an

C

guish of my heart be forgotten by Thee. Regard, O Merciful FATHER, my captivity and imprisonment, my oppression and distress, and deliver me from the house of my prison, and wretched slavery. If one live for many years, what will he be bettered thereby? Who knoweth whether he will become better or worse? The advancement and end of man are uncertain, and perseverance doubtful, because of the manifold attacks of sins, and the dangers of temptation. Many on their first conversion are good and humble, afterwards froward and rebellious. First fearful and devout, contrite and silent; but afterwards unbridled and dissolute, talkative and unwatchful. They who formerly checked their thoughts, afterwards pay little heed to their words and actions, and thus every sin, not guarded against at the beginning, becomes gradually worse. Who then should not fear, and be circumspect, since sometimes misfortunes frequently befall even the good, and the modest? Who knoweth whether he is elected, and can endure all things ? 3. All must be proved, and who is assured he I will not be burnt, since the trial is as fire? must fear, and alike hope for the better, but none must rashly presume, or become lukewarm, through vain confidence. The approved gold will be saved, and the stubble burnt; but see, O man,

All