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cents were hurried into a ladies' carriage, and thirty miles ride in a train. Time sped by so the door locked upon them; but that did not swiftly, I could hardly believe it possible we trouble me much. At the very next station could have reached Bathtown so quickly. I we changed trains to get on the" Burnhamp- could not tear myself away so soon, so I got ton and Exton” line, and then I knew my a ticket on twenty miles farther to have a little opportunity would arrive. So I flung myself more of Emma's company. She was quite as into an empty first-class, and violated the bye- jolly in reality as I had imagined her. If I laws by smoking a weed between Durlea and did not really seriously pop the question in the junction. Soon we steamed into the junc- the train, I said quite enough to make Emma tion – slamming, whistling, and shunting-and understand my feelings, and I believe, though we were mingling together on the platform. we are both of us so young, we shall one day Emma blushed deeply as I walked up to her get married. This is my last half at school, and bowed, and offered my assistance with the and then I am going in hard for a doctor. Í luggage. Her two companions were, I daresay, forgot to say that, of course, I saw my aunt, amazed, but as they were going straight on to after all, that day, and they don't know at Torchester, they had not much time for won- home yet but what I was with her all the day. derment. Emma and I were soon alone, and, I get a letter from Emmi twice every week having crossed the line, I managed to secure and I get fonder of her every day. an empty carriage, so that we might talk undisturbed. Never have I had such a jolly
NEW YEAR'S EVE.
'Tis New Year's Eve,--again I sit
Alone and hear my watch a-ticking;
So ever us poor mortals tricking;
An hour it will have passed to limbo;
And sit me with my arms a-kimbo;
Nothing to make my prospects brighter;
Heavier my trials, my pockets lighterIVhat have I done? I can't conceive Since last I spent a New-Year's Eve! What promises and vows I made
That night-my promises are broken, My vows have certes ne'er been paid
My present plight does that betoken ; Methinks this year, poor me will leave Much as I was last New-Year's Eve! Older-of course, not wiser though,
For cer ain I am none the richerDame Fortune's hard to catch, I know,
Do what I will I can't bewitch her.
Old Year, I've wasted you! receive
She married Tom--for full his purse is--
In writing novelettes and verses,
To write for five hours after dinner
I backed myself to be a winner.
But now how is it? Not a thing
I vowed I'd do have I been doing
My worsted fortunes I am rueing;
And marry some nice girl with money;
I'll try to make my share of honey.
A. A. D.
THE ODD BOY IN ST. PAUL'S.
I SEE that I am annonnced to make sundry Clement's, I took off my hat. "Put on yonr
observations from the top of St. Paul's hat !” roared out a sturdy official. I put it and elsewhere. Right you are; but never on, and saw that the preachers kept theirs having ascended the Pauline heights- never on too. Well, I kuew what to do, when having been in the Stone Gallery, the Golden I went into St. Paul's, therefore I took my Gallery, much less gone to the Ball, I prefer hat half off — just enough on to keep my for the present to stick to Elsewhere. head out of the draugbt, just erough off to
Elsewhere is a geographical country of large politely acknowledge the character of the extent, bounded on the one side by Probability, building. It suited me—it suited them : if you like, and on another by Possibility, if “ Dolce cose a verdere e dolci inganni”you choose, with a range of the mountains of which is Italian for “Things sweet to see are Ambition "fore anent” (wherever that is), sweet, pleasing deceptions.” and the whole well watered by the rivers of Smudge, Duffer, and Buffer were mad to Imagination. If I write to my uncle or go up the building-foolish lads! they had cousin, officers in the Bengal Indefensibles— already seen London by Night at the Colosright big chaps, I can tell you, with lots of seum (a long while ago), in the days of the “go” in them—at Churucporee or “Else- famous lecturer who is always going away, where,” the latter address is sure to find them, and is Back oftener! That's a joke. Solemnly whether they be for the time stationed at I observe to the youths, Quæ supra nos nihil Kingston, Jamaica, or at Knightsbridge Bar- ad nos, signifying thereby in the Latin tongue racks, London. Elsewhere. it is grandly that the things which are above us are nocomprehensive and beautifully unbounded—it thing to us; but they would not have it. means Here and There and Everywhere: Smudge said, “Booh!” Duffer snorted, and consequently, it is immensely inclusive-if Buffer grinned. Those boys were bent on we ain't here or ain't there-well, we are going up the ladder; they were impatient of Elsewhere, and that's all about it.
delay-Quam maxima possunt celeritate. It But on the present occasion, although I were vain to tell them all I felt. My bellows, gracefully describe my whereahouts as Else- which are not the best, suggested stopping where, I am really in St. Paul's. You may down below; and down below I stopped, and think I am playing with this subject. No with silent tread walked the cathedral such thing. On St. Paul's and in St. Paul's
Filled with mementoes, satiate with its part are very different things.
Of grateful England's overtlowing dead, Smudge and two fellows-excellent fellows in their way: fellows whom it is unnecessary I tried to stop them—to talk to them Ruskinfor me to describe more closely than Duffer ified about the dome-doom,—which do you and Buffer—accompanied me to our Cathedral, call it ?-being a legacy of Byzantine art and we entered the building.
dating from the temple palace of the Kremlin, For a moment I stood irresolute as to the reproduced in the Alhambra of Granada, seen etiquette of the structure. Twice had I been in the mosque of Bozrah, and echoed all the snubbed on church-going manners. I had way from Santa Sophia to St. Peter's. They once entered St. Clement Danes on a week paid no heed to me at all, but they chinked day, when no further divine service was going their money, anxious to pay coppers to the on than painting and glazing, and an official man in the gown that they might rattle and in a voice of thunder had bidden me take off scramble up to the top; and, as I observed,
Shortly after this, I went to a copying a joke from somebody else, which Tewish church in Great St. Helen's, and was quite as good as new to them, sit upon there, mindful of what had happened at St. the cross and bawl!
“Much you know about it,” said they. about him, which everybody quotes. Here, “I know everything about it,” said I. over Sir Ralph Abercrombie, Britannia sheds
“What is the length of the nave?” said | £6,300, and she drops another tear of the they, checking me off from an old gnide- same extent over Nelson. Well, it is pleasing book.
to know that when men have been dreadfully “The knave is generally under six feet,” kuocked abont all their lives, working hard said I.
for the nation, and getting a precious sight And they declared I was altogether wrong, more kicks than ha'pence, there is a chance and ought to be bolstered. Thus, you observe, of their being given a stone after they're dead it is useless saying witty things to boys; they —of being caricatured in stone, and misredo not understand you. Of course I don't presented to posterity. I had the chance mean you-you-the readers are different. It never occurred to them that knave night be You don't believe it: well, then, stop and spelt with a k; that there might be a knave listen. I had the honour—that's the phrase in the pulpit as well as a pulpit in the nave. -of once knowing one of the small pieces of
“Well, Bob, if we are to go up, let's go artillery. Yes : I mean minor canons, of up.”
course. That's a joke. He and I were intiI had gone np all the steps which lead to mate. I did not mind associating with the the church, and so I positively and decisively fellow. I don't like class distiuction-except declined. “ Moderata durant,” said I, quoting on the railway, when I am going first-and I Stueca ; and they responded with chaff, which would forget his cloth in the atmosphere of it is unnecessary that I should put ou paper. sociability. I feel ill; I over-exerted myself
Then was I left alone, with the exception of in public duty. Yes, you are right in saying a lot of other people. Some of them went to that is my great failing. I work much too chapel-some did not. I was of the some hard; and my conviction is, the more you do tbat did uot.
the less you get for it, either in credit or But I surveyed the glorious building, and ready money. That's another joke-sly, like. criticised the pictures in the dome, or doom, Yah-how slow you are! But to return to which, of course, I could not see. I hegan to our muttons. When my friend again--after reflect, but stopped short-I am not tall at I had recovered he stood aghastany time, never was—by the recollection that
“Not dead ?” says he. Bishop Berkeley–Barklay-had reflected al- “Not dead yet,” says I. ready, and that my intention might be mis- “Well, I am sorry,” says he. taken. Miserum est aliorum incumbere famæ, “Don't take on,” says I. It is a wretched thing to live on the fame of “I had hoped,” says he, "to have buried others. And narrow are the views of men, you decent.” were I to compare yon fly—there was no fily “What do you mean ?” says I. there, but plenty of cabs outside-to a free- “ If you had made a die of it now,” says thinker. Hey presto! I should be plagiarising he, “I would have stamped you in immortal from the bishop.
monumental stone within yon sacred fane." No, I will look at the monuments. There This was his way of alluding to St. Paul's. is £4,250 of grief shed for Captain Westcott, "Bless you,” says I, with tears of grati. and scooped up by Banks; there is a stony tude or something standing in my eyes; tear, worth £6,300, dropped by Britannia over “ bless you.”—and I pressed his hand—“it Rodney; and another tear, just of half the would give me satisfaction to bury you at any value, that trickled down Britannia's nose for time.” Picton. Here is a tear for Dictionary Johnson, Of course I was thinking about this as I value £1,575; here is one for Howe, worth gazed at the effigies around me, and saw in £6,300; one for Collingwood, worth £4,200; imagination your Odd Boy a grioning through another, to the same tune, to Sir John Moore a shrouded horse-collar in a monumental -of course we all know about him and Co- sculpture. runua, because somebody wrote some rhymes Saint Paul's!
Why I was born under the very literal | to another; and judicious was the answer: shadow of Saint Paul's, in Saint Paul's “He has been talking about two hours." Churchyard.
Saint Paul's. It has been lighted up for Saint Paul's!
evening service, and crammed with people ; it Why, I was bronght up under the very has been draped ink black for a dead warrior. shadow of Saint Paul's. So to speak, I sat at Well, it is a big building, and a long way up. the feet of the cathedral till I had to get upon Smudge, Duffer, and Buffer are measuring the my owu and look about me sharp.
exact distance with their three pairs of knees And yet I have never been np Saint Paul's! and ankle-joints. No.
I take a turn outside. There's the drapers'' Do all the dwellers in Chamouny go up shops, busy; there's the warehouses ; there's Mount Blanc ?
Doctors' Commons, with white-apron dragons No; I opine they leave that to strangers. waiting to pounce on yon, and get you married
Smudge, Duffer, and Buffer, were ascending by licence out of hand. Once I attended a very the height. I recognised them cheerfully in intimate friend of mine into the secret penethe Whispering Gallery, where I knew, or at tralia of the Commons ; yea, I faced the least suspected, a door would be banged for dispenser of licences. Said my intimate their special edification.
friend, “How soon can I use this licence ?” Saint Paul's. I have seen the charity chil. “To-morrow, sir, if you please. Give notice dren, all the parochial schools of London, to-night, and he ” (meaning the clergyman) come trooping in, year after year, and singing “dare uot refuse!” Easy to get into it! the Old Hundredih, as if it was done to give how long would it take to get out of it? the newsboys—I mean the reporters—the
Ah, I have known Dr. Scommons for a chance of telling us what the great somebody long time. Yes, very likely you have heard said of it; and how George III. hit a page of that before: I have. honour on the head with a roll of music for
I look about me. I see the Bone-house; misbehaving. I have seen all the pother got and remember how I was party to the boning np about the sons of the clergy; as if daughters a skull on one occasion. An artist wanted it. counted for nothing, dash it: place aux dames, We took it. I bore it-like a basin in wbich the girls ought to have the best of it. I have I might have carried my dinner-tied up in a seen fussy judges, in gowns and wigs, going blue and white pocket-handkerchief. to hear a sermon in the big church. I have I look about me, and wonder how the St. been to church there myself ever so many
Paul's boys see to play in the dark cage times; I have canght the toothache there, assigned to them. I don't believe Dean Colet and the earache, and the faceache, and cold in ever intended them to have such sport. Wheu the eye, and cold in the other eye, and he was alive he used to whip them soundly, neuralgia—directly it came up, and rheuma- have them birched, as Erasmus tells us (how tics—before it did, in the chapel. Bother, I learned I am !), while he munched pippins ; have been a martyr to St. Paul's, which of but I am sure he never would have been so course accounts for my judicious adjustment of cruel as to shut them up there. Yah-1 chapeaur. Why, I have heard a bishop deliver won't hear of it. a charge there, and tell all the diocese that- Back into the Cathedral, and Smudge,
Duffer, and Buffer are waiting for me—tired, White was not black,
hot, dusty, cleaned out.
"Well, what did you see?”
“Nothing; it was so jolly foggy."
W bich hoping I am not, spinning it out for ever so long. "What has
I remain, the bishop been talking about ?” says one cove
THE ODD COY.