PARSON TURELL'S LEGACY.

183

Plain enough for a child to spell.

What should be done no man could tell,

For the chair was a kind of nightmare curse,
And every season but made it worse.

As a last resort, to clear the doubt,

They got old GOVERNOR HANCOCK Out.
The Governor came with his Light-horse Troop
And his mounted truckmen, all cock-a-hoop;
Halberds glittered and colors flew,

French horns whinnied and trumpets blew,

The yellow fifes whistled between their teeth

And the bumble-bee bass-drums boomed beneath;
So he rode with all his band,

Till the President met him, cap in hand.

The Governor "hefted" the crowns, and said, –

"A will is a will, and the Parson's dead."

Said he,

The Governor hefted the crowns.

"There is your p'int. And here's

my fee.

These are the terms you must fulfil, —

On such conditions I BREAK THE WILL!"
The Governor mentioned what these should be.

(Just wait a minute and then you 'll see.)
The President prayed. Then all was still,
And the Governor rose and BROKE THE WILL!

"About those conditions?"

Well, now you go

And do as I tell you, and then you'll know.
Once a year, on Commencement day,

If you'll only take the pains to stay,
You'll see the President in the CHAIR,
Likewise the Governor sitting there.
The President rises; both old and young
May hear his speech in a foreign tongue,
The meaning whereof, as lawyers swear,
Is this: Can I keep this old arm-chair?
And then his Excellency bows,

As much as to say that he allows.

The Vice-Gub. next is called by name;

He bows like t' other, which means the same.

And all the officers round 'em bow,

As much as to say that they allow.

And a lot of parchments about the chair
Are handed to witnesses then and there,

And then the lawyers hold it clear

That the chair is safe for another year.

God bless you, Gentlemen! Learn to give Money to colleges while you live.

Don't be silly and think you

'll try

To bother the colleges, when you die,

PARSON TURELL'S LEGACY.

185

With codicil this, and codicil that,

That Knowledge may starve while Law grows fat; For there never was pitcher that would n't spill, And there's always a flaw in a donkey's will!

DE SAUTY.

AN ELECTRO-CHEMICAL ECLOGUE.

Professor.

Blue-Nose.

PROFESSOR.

TELL me, O Provincial! speak, Ceruleo-Nasal! Lives there one De Sauty extant now among you, Whispering Boanerges, son of silent thunder, Holding talk with nations?

Is there a De Sauty ambulant on Tellus,
Bifid-cleft like mortals, dormient in night-cap,

Having sight, smell, hearing, food-receiving feature
Three times daily patent?

Breathes there such a being, O Ceruleo-Nasal? Or is he a mythus, ancient word for "humbug,”

Such as Livy told about the wolf that wet-nursed Romulus and Remus?

THE OLD MAN DREAMS.

O FOR one hour of youthful joy! Give back my twentieth spring! I'd rather laugh a bright-haired boy Than reign a gray-beard king!

Off with the wrinkled spoils of age! Away with learning's crown! Tear out life's wisdom-written page,

And dash its trophies down!

One moment let my life-blood stream From boyhood's fount of flame! Give me one giddy, reeling dream

Of life all love and fame!