A SCENE FROM DOUGLAS.-REV. JOHN HOME. CHARACTERS.-Norval, Glenalcon, and Lord Randolph. Norv. Glen. Thou talk'st it well; no leader of our host Norv. If I should e'er acquire a leader's name, My speech will be less ardent. Novelty Now prompts my tongue, and youthful admiration Of praise pertaining to the great in arms. Glen. You wrong yourself, brave sir; your martial deed: Have ranked you with the great. But mark me, Norval, Lord Randolph's favor now exalts your youth Above his veterans of famous service. Let me, who know these soldiers, counsel you. Else they will hardly brook your late-sprung power, Norv. Sir, I have been accustomed, all my days, Glen. Glen. If thus you swell, and frown at high-born men, Glen. Why yes, if you presume To bend on soldiers those disdainful eyes As if you took the measure of their minds, Norv. Hast thou no fears for thy presumptuous self? Norv. Didst thou not hear? Glen. Unwillingly I did; a nobler foe Had not been questioned thus; but such as thou— Norv. Glen. Norv. Norval. And who is Norval in Glenalvon's eyes? So I am; Glen. A peasant's son, a wandering beggar boy; Norv. False as thou art, dost thou suspect my truth? I have no tongue to rail. The humble Norval Did I not fear to freeze thy shallow valor, And make thee sink too soon beneath my sword, I'd tell thee-what thou art. I know thee well. Glen. Dost thou not know Glenalvon-born to command Ten thousand slaves like thee? Norv. Villain, no more! Draw, and defend thy life. I did design To have defied thee in another cause; But heaven accelerates its vengeance on thee. Now for my own and Lady Randolph's wrongs! Enter LORD RANDOLPH. Lord R. Hold! I command you both! the man that stirs Makes me his foe. Norr. Another voice than thine That threat had vainly sounded, noble Randolph. Glen. Hear him, my lord; he's wondrous condescending! Mark the humility of shepherd Norval! Norv. Now you may scoff in safety. Speak not thus, Taunting each other, but unfold to me The cause of quarrel; then I judge betwixt you. Norv. Nay, my good lord, though I revere you much, My cause I plead not, nor demand your judgment. I blush to speak; and will not, cannot speak The opprobrious words that I from him have borne. To the liege lord of my dear native land I owe a subject's homage; but even him Within my bosom reigns another lord- If my free speech offend you, noble Randolph, Hence as he came; alone-but not dishonored! Lord R. Thus far I'll mediate with impartial voice : The ancient foe of Caledonia's land Now waves his banner o'er her frighted fields; The private quarrel. Glen. Nory. And I. Glen. I agree to this. Norval, Let not our variance mar the social hour, Nor frowning anger, nor yet wrinkled hate, Shall stain my countenance. Smooth thou thy brow; Norv. Think not so lightly, sir, of my resentment; MY FIRST POLITICAL SPEECH.*-MAX ADELER. I had for some time entertained a strong conviction that nature designed me for an orator. I was assured that I possessed the gift of eloquence which enables great speakers to sway the passions of the multitude, and I felt that I needed but the opportunity to reveal this fact to the world. Accordingly, at the beginning of the political campaign, I sent my name to one of the executive committees of the State, in Wilmington, with the request that it might be written down with the names of the speakers who would be called upon whenever important meetings were held. I waited impatiently all through the campaign for a summons to appear and electrify the people. It did not come, and I was almost in despair. But on the day before the election I received from the chairman a brief note, saying that I had been announced to speak at Dover that evening before a great mass meeting, and requesting me to take the early afternoon train, so that I might report to the local chairman in Dover before nightfall. The pleasure with which this summons was received was in some measure marred by the fact that I had not a speech ready, and the time was so short that elaborate preparation was impossible. But I determined to throw into some sort of shape the ideas and arguments which would readily occur to the mind of a man famil*This amusing sketch is taken, by permission of the Author, from “Out of the Hurly-Burly," a book overflowing with genuine humor. iar with the ordinary political questions of the day and with the merits of the candidates, and to trust to the inspiration of the occasion for the power to present them forcibly and eloquently. Of course it was plain that anything like an attempt at gorgeousness in such a speech would be foolish, so I concluded to speak plainly and directly to the point, and to enliven my argument with some amusing campaign stories. In order to fix my points firmly in my mind and to ensure their presentation in their proper order, they were numbered and committed to memory, each argument and its accompanying anecdote being associated with a particular arithmetical figure. The synopsis, if it may be called by that name, presented an appearance something like the following, excepting that it contained a specification of the points of the speech which need not be reproduced here: THE SPEECH. 1. Exordium, concluding with Scott's famous lines, “Breathes there a man with soul so dead,” etc. 2. Arguments, introducing a narrative of the facts in the case of Hotchkiss, who was locked out upon the roof of his house all night. (See particulars farther on.) The design of the story is to give a striking picture of the manner in which the opposition party will be left out in the cold by the election. (Make this strong, and pause for cheers.) 3. Arguments, followed by the story of the Kickapoo Indian who saw a locomotive approaching upon the plains, and thinking it was a superior breed of buffalo, determined to capture it, so that he could take the first prize at the Kickapoo agricultural fair. He tied his lasso to his waist and threw the other end over the smoke-stack. The locomotive did not stop; but when the engineer arrived at the next station, he went out and cut the string by which a small bit of copper-colored meat was tied to his smoke-stack. This is to illustrate the folly of the attempt of conservatism to check the onward career of pure and enlightened liberalism toward perfect civilization, etc., etc. 4. Arguments, and then the anecdote of that Dutchman in Berks county, Pa., who on the 10th of October, 1866, was observed to go out into his yard and raise the American flag; then he got his gun and fired a salute seventeen or eighteen times, after which he consumed six packs of fire-crackers and gave three cheers for the Union. He enjoyed himself in this manner nearly all day, while his neighbors gathered around outside and placed their elbows upon the fence, watching him and wondering what on earth he meant. peddler who came along stopped and had an interview with him. To his surprise, he found that the German agriculturist was celebrating the Fourth of July, 1859. He did not know that it was any later in the century, for he had been keeping his time on a notched stick; and having been sick a great deal, he had gotten the thing in a A dreadful tangle. When he learned that he was seven Fourths in arrears, he was depressed; but he sent out and bought a box of firecrackers and a barrel of gun-powder, and spent a week catching up. (Tell this vivaciously, and make the point that none but a member of the other party could forget the glorious anniversary of our country's birth, and say that the whole party will have to do up a lot of back patriotism some day, if it desires to catch up with the people whose devotion to the country is encouraged and kept active by our side.) 5. Arguments, supplemented with the narrative of a confiding man who had such child-like faith in a patent fire extinguisher which he had purchased that he set fire to his house merely to have the fun of putting it out. The fire burned furiously, but the extinguisher gave only two or three imbecile squirts and then collapsed, and in two hours his residence was in ashes. Go on to say that our enemies have applied the torch of anarchy to the edifice of this government, but that there is an extinguisher which will not only NOT collapse, but will subdue the flames and quench the incendiary organization, and that extinguisher is our party. (Allow time for applause here.) 6. Arguments, introducing the story of the Sussex county farmer who was discouraged because his wife was perfidious. Before he was married she vowed over and over again that she could chop four cords of wood a day, but after the ceremony the farmer found he was deceived. The treacherous woman could not chop more than two cords and a half, and so the dream of the husband was dissipated, and he demanded a divorce as the only balm for the wounds which lacerated his heart. Let this serve to illustrate the point that our political enemies have deceived us with promises to reduce the debt, to institute reforms, etc., etc., none of which they have kept, and now we must have the government separated from them by such a divorce as will be decreed to-morrow, etc., etc. 7. Peroration, working in if posssible the story of Commodore Scudder's dog, which, while out with its master one day, pointed at some partridges. The commodore was about to fire, but he suddenly received orders to go off on a three years' cruise, so he dropped his gun, left the dog standing there and went right to sća. When he returned, three years later, he went back to the field, and there was his gun, there was the skeleton of the dog still standing and pointing just as he had left it, and a little farther on were the skeletons of the partridges. Show how our adversaries in their relation to the negro question, resemble that dog. We came away years ago and left them pointing at the negro question, and we come back now to find that they are at it yet. Work this in carefully, and conclude in such a manner as to excite frantic applause. It was not much of a speech, I know. Some of the arguments were weak, and several of the stories failed to fit into their places comfortably. But mass meetings do not criticise closely, and I was persuaded I should make a good im |