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but waves them off to their destin- now I leave you to find your way ations, exact and unerring as omni- through the labyrinth of this tale, science. His whole air seems to from which the gods give you and say—“A good man struggling with me a safe and happy deliverance. difficulties may be a sight for the “The menagerie seems to be full. gods ; but how much grander this, er than usual to-night, Cosmo," said the spectacle of a great man over- Tom ; "the roaring is louder, and coming every difficulty without a there seem to be several new varistruggle, with a bosom as unruffled eties. I see a new skunk, and a as the buff garment which envelops chimpanzee, and a sun-fish, and a it!" The diapason of discord has hippopotamus." achieved itself in the sudden col- “And all that being interpretlapse of that mottle-faced waiter, ed ?” involving in his ruin thirteen plates, “And all that being interpreted a dish of potatoes, and a bottle of means that we have a considerable Medoc; and now that the yells of increase in the number of our coyonder German have caused the last diners, and that the new-comers are window in the room to be closed, rather a shady lot to look at." things begin to settle down into a “Not very distinguished-looking, little more quiescence. Come, then, certainly. What is the meaning of and thread with me the hall. Don't it, I wonder ? It isn't near the look at that indigestive spinster tourists' season, and yet many of unless you wish to be petrified. the new arrivals look like the ideal Don't waste a thought upon that tourist-not the least like returnglorious-looking old man with the ing swallows from the Riviera or dome-like head and long white Rome.” moustache. He is not a very distin- “Not a bit of it; but, perhaps, guished general of division. He is something has been taking place in a City man-probably a stockbroker England—the Whitsuntide holidays - and his name is, conceivably, or something." Crump. Never mind the brunette “You pagan! we are still a fort-beautiful as a star, but nothing night from Whitsunday.” to us. Come on. Eat with their “Are we? I apologise. One knives? Of course they do. The forgets everything in this Sleepy only Russian princess whose confi- Hollow. But, Whitsunday or not, dence I have enjoyed, ate with her if Mr Cook had shot a whole caraknife-quite a trifle when you're van into the district, we couldn't accustomed to it. You see that old be richer in his typical followers.” lady dwelling in the fool's paradise “ Yes, I've seen the kind of of an auburn "front" and immense people before, in connection with gutta-percha teeth? Well, next à conductor. It's the old probher are two men. Voilà notre lem of the flies in amber." affaire. These are my hero Cosmo “Seen them before! By George, Glencairn, and his friend Tom Wye- they're all here! There's the 'exdale. Yes, the fair one is Cosmo. pansive' Briton—that underdoneWhy not? Heroes ought to be looking man. See how he talks at, dark? I deny it-not English through, up against, down upon, heroes. They ought to be buff everybody and everything! He men, with blue eyes, like the Vi. has a joke for every one. He kings. Well, there they are. Draw chaffs them all round, waiters innear to them, and listen to them, cluded. He is button-holing the and look out for new arrivals. And whole table with his eye. Listen
to the monster! How he laughs! men he is, too, of the domestic' You can hear nothing else. What Briton. You can see through all a fearful thing is vulgar geniality! that fellow's dodges, and read him That fellow would chaff the Pope if like a book. These two girls are he could get at him.
his daughters, and he trembles for “ Then there are two or three them. Every well - looking indispecimens of the reticent' Bri. vidual of the opposite sex is a ton. That pock-marked fellow, star- hawk ready to swoop upon his ing so fiercely at four inches of the dove - cot. You, Cosmo, are a table in front of him, is one of hawk." them. Doesn't he look as if his “Thanks; I fear your definition pockets were full of Orsini bombs ? won't permit a tu quoque." as if he were making up his mind “You are, as I say, in this man's to let them off at once, and blow perverted vision, a hawk. His us all to smithereens? And there's mind is full of hawks and foreign another — that hectic man in the counts. The foreign count is his white tie, looking as if he had Antichrist, and every well-dressed just picked a pocket. They are foreigner is a count within the both in a white terror of being meaning of the Act.' Observe how addressed in a foreign tongue; for, he has strategised against hawks behold, beside one sits a restless- and counts. He has thrown out looking Frenchman, and by the a flanking party on either side of other an affable Muscovite. Hinc the dove-cot, – that tough - lookillce lacrymee! And there is the ing spinster on the left, obviously archæological female Briton — she an aunt—the hobbledehoy on the may be in some other "ology' per- right, clearly a brother; and he haps, but she certainly goes in for himself is a big gun of position in • mind' and science of some sort. the centre, ready to go off with They're all the same. You can't fearful detonations." mistake them. Limp, and with “The doves are rather pretty, that mysterious top-knot of scraggy Tom; the blue one is really a hair gathered together from the charming little ingenue." uttermost parts of the head. She “Passable — passable ; and inlooks as if a savage had toma- deed I find the pink sister not hawked her, and, finding the scalp without attraction. Impossible unsatisfactory, had hurriedly re- head-gear, though.” placed it. Doesn't she, Cosmo? “Oh, cela va sans dire; at Oh, how I suffered from one of the present all head-gears are impostribe at Eleusis last year! The sun sible. Now, if you were to tilt was raging, but she seated herself back that terrible erection on the on a fallen capital and held me, girl's head till it sloped from the like the Ancient Mariner, while she sky-line of the head, over the neck, lectured for half an hour on the you would—-" spirit of Greek Art. She had come “Steady, Cosmo! outlying picket from Athens without an escort, alarmed and signalling to the main braving the brigands with no pro- body. Look at the weather. Optection save her awful virginity; posite window; charming evening, and I fear there is no doubt it got isn't it? What a bloom there is on her safe back. And ah ! I thought that hill opposite ! How the last we should find him here; and there rays of the sun are bringing out the he is, sure enough, up at the end of tints of everything!” the opposite table—and a fine speci- “ Including that bottle of Gat
tinara,' which has been with you cass on his back. To show him. ever since we sat down. Pass it, That's the kind of man William G. before it is quite empty. I'll tell Howkins was. And that's the kind you what it is, Tom, it is not a re- of man they raise, down Texas way. munerative system going shares in I guess an ancient Briton would wine with a talkative fellow like feel rather mean and skinny down you. You don't give yourself time there. I guess he'd feel downright to eat much, but you do contrive to d— d ashamed of his descenddrink like a whale."
ants. When he saw them again.” “Do I? The action is quite me- “Howkins must have been a chanical, I assure you.'
Goliath." “ Very likely, but it empties the “Wall, he was above the middle bottle quite as effectually as if it height. But he ain't the size now. were deliberate."
Not since the war." “ After all, what is there in one “How do you mean?" bottle of Gattinara'?"
“ Wall, there was a cannon-ball “Precisely what I wish to dis- that was a trifle quick for him at cover. Pass it."
Gettysburg. He got his legs chip“Cornish men? No, surr; I ped. And shortened up, at that never fouled a Cornish man—not to time, seven or eight inches. But, I know him.” Thus spake a cada- guess, they'd still show the balance verous American gentleman, who of him in Cornwall. For money. sat opposite the two friends, ad. W. G. H. wasn't descended from dressing an English neighbour, and nobody. You bet.” splitting up his remarks into short, “A've harrd ov a Glasca man irregular sentences.
" began another gentleman, in “They are splendid men, I can the solemn doric of North Britain. tell you," said the neighbour; “Be japers !” interrupted a " they're descended from the ancient sprightly - looking neighbour-"be Britons, you know.”
japers! Mr Howkins must be own " Are they, now? Well, I niver brother to Larry O'Toole's aunt, met an ancient Briton. But if any of them were to give a look down • That had niver a father, Texas way. They'd keep quiet
And sorra a mother,
But jist poured herself out from a jug of about their descendants when they botheen.'» went back, I guess. They've got a kind of a man down there, surr, that “A racklack a Glasca man—u'm mostly runs seventy-three to sev- thinkin' his name was Fechnie enty-seven inches. That's good --" Interruption, however, again enough, ain't it? You've heard of befell the Scot, for an excitableWilliam G. Howkins ? ".
looking Frenchman, who had been “I think not."
intently listening to the dialogue, “Ah! that was a kind of a man suddenly gave tongue. that stood ninety-two inches. And “Messieurs," he exclaimed, a fraction. And when he killed “comment cela s'explique-t-il ? the grizzly that ran to 900 pounds Moi, je comprends parfaitement in its skin and claws. You've heard l'Anglais, mais il n'y a pas moyen of that bear ?"
de vous comprendre, vous autres. “No, I can't say I have."
Vous parlez trois - mais, oui !" Wall, he took and carried that quatre langues, entre vous tout à thar grizzly, and went browsin' all la fois. Que veut dire ce 'Larree around the town with that thar car- O'Toal'? Qu'est ce que c'est que ce Glass Cow'? Comment expli- of the sisterhood, who sat opposite, quez vous cet abominable 'Rack- unsuspected up to this time and laxe'? Dites donc, je vous en incog., unmasked herself and came prie, comment- " But here a into action, opening fire with an shout of laughter reduced the Gaul "ichthyosaurus," and following it to foaming silence.
up with “ flint-headed weapons," The meal went bustling on. The which staggered the curate, demorblended tumult of a hundred voices alised the pupils, and elicited a rose and fell, as interval and onset long-drawn “So :" from the Gerrelieved each other; but at every man. Number One, finding the revival the pitch of voices seemed Death's-head moth altogether unhigher, and the laughter more equal to the position, withdrew it strenuous than before,-save where, in favour of " greywacke," which, like veritable “ Towers of Silence," to a certain extent, rallied conthe types of reticence sat wrapt in fidence, until “Primeval Man," a taciturnity that seemed to become “the Moabite Stone," and "the palpable – to make itself felt – Panathenaic Frieze," fired off by even amid that human Babel, with Number Two in rapid succession, its crashing symphonies from delf left Number One without any foland metal. All round the table lowing, save the appreciative old quaint idiosyncrasies progressively man. Bat Sumber Two did not evolved themselves before the long continue the heroine of the laughing eyes of Cosmo Glencairn occasion; for the expansive Briton, and his loquacious friend. About expanding theologically, laid an a third of the dinner had been irreverent paw upon the Pentateuch, achieved. The American Eagle which roused the meek but truewas soaring sublime, on reckless hearted curate, and, in a pause of wings of hyperbole and myth. silence and expectation, all the The Scotchman, who had failed to table awaited the encounter between find a single taker for some creak- Christian and Apollyon. During ing observations on the bothy sys- this pause, when dinner was half tem, as pursued in Ross-shire, was achieved, a new arrival again diwatching the Eagle, with the inten- verted public attention, and contion of a trapper in his eye. His centrated it on very different obFrench neighbour continued to jects. mutter, “Il n'y a pas moyen de The new party was preceded by comprendre ces gueux d'Anglais." a gaudy and corpulent courier, who, One female representative of British after questioning the buff-cinctured mind, thinking entomology to be a Jove with an air of impious equal. good light dinner subject--safe to ity, marshalled his protégés to their draw-had plunged into the habits seats, with looks of scorn and menof the “ Death's-head moth," and aces cast on either side, as who secured, for a time, the sympathy should say, “ Tremble, oh ye base of several people in her vicinity, groundlings! the social Juggernaut including a curate, a governess, is upon you." The public, however, with two female charges, a broken- paid small attention to this treEnglish German, and a highly-in- mendous personage, for all eyes were telligent - looking old gentleman, more pleasantly attracted to the whose eye seemed to blaze with lady and gentleman who followed unqualified appreciation, but who, him. The lady was beautiful. It as it afterwards transpired, was deaf is a bold assertion, an apple of and blind. But suddenly another discord, which we should hesitate to hurl into any assembly on the oh ye young, in the days of your entrance of any living woman. youth !),—but to be both young Did its sculptor succeed in expres- and beautiful is to be twice blest; sing a true ideal of Beauty, or did and this fortunate lady enjoyed that he only immortalise the Insipid, double beatitude. And besides all in the Venus dei Medici? Are this-an attribute more exquisite Rubens's often-painted wives glori- still — she possessed that subtle, ous types of vigorous and beautiful magical charm which words cannot womanhood ? or are they only two define nor art imitate, but which naked Flemish fishwomen, wallow. nature, culture, and association, all ing in a superabundance of garish three, combine to produce, weaving flesh ? Specimens these, selected it out of movement, manner, exat random, of the diversities of pression, carriage, and I know not opinion upon all questions as to what besides, and which can only, beauty depicted by human hands; but most feebly, be expressed in and how much greater are the diver- words by the commonplace phrase, sities when the claims of this, or "a thorough-bred air.” Many of that, living woman are sub lite! I the guests at the table d'hôte might make, then, a bold assertion; but have been indifferent to her beauty, as the lady is invisible to the reader, or denied its existence altogether; I make it boldly, not fearing con- but the air noble reached them all : tradiction, unless, indeed, some so that every eye was turned admay take exception to certain miringly in her direction, and the features which I may state to have duty of eating strenuously up to been distinctive of the fair entrant, a rather high contract price was sea-grey eyes, to wit,-grey or blue, pretty generally suspended for at I know not which, but the colour least five-and-twenty seconds. Cerof the Mediterranean when the sun tain eclipses took place. The charms has just gone down, and left upon of half - a - dozen pink - and - white calm waters a look, between the damsels, who looked but now so blue of noontide and the steely fresh and bright and pretty, vansheen that comes on them with ished abruptly, just as one has seen the gloaming,-sea-grey eyes and a bunch of comely village garden bronze - brown hair, a pure com- flowers grow coarse and gaudy plexion, a nose delicately retroussé, when placed near some exotic, exa mouth like the bow of Cupid, quisite in its simple purity of form and a figure slight, but genuine and and hue. As she passed up the hall, complete—not that composition of the sun offered an inspiration which door, hay-truss, and pillow, with Raphael might have prized; for the which art, supplementing natural last rays, streaming through the deficiencies, contrives nowadays to windows, smote upon the deep make a travesty of the “human masses of her burnished hair, and form divine." All these were attri- seemed to set a glory round about butes of the young lady in question; her small and shapely head. and I trust that, on these simple “A burning beauty !" whispered data, no reader will be captious Tom Wyedale. enough to found a theory that she Cosmo said nothing, but the was not (what I distinctly assert thought written in his face was she was and is) beautiful. It is a “Oh dea certe!” goodly thing to be beautiful ; it is “And,” said the American, fola glorious thing to be young (dwell lowing up a commendatory reupon this, rejoice in it, revel in it, mark of his own—"and, I guess,