find that I am wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked; so that there is nothing but disorder and ruin in my soul. I have undone myself: but to work my own recovery, I have no sufficiency. O how wicked have I been to harbour the mind, and allow myself in the way, which is enmity against God! How ignorant, yet how confident! How vile, yet how arrogant! In what need of mercy, yet how unmerciful! How sinful, yet how impenitent! How bold in the sins where conscience reproved me; but how indifferent in the cause where thy good Spirit encouraged me! Oh the spoils, and ruins, and desolations which my sins have made in my soul! How darkened has been my mind; how perverted my will; how sensualized my affections; how disordered my passions; how hardened my heart; and how mad have I been in cleaving unto things displeasing to my God, and destructive to my soul! Vain would be the attempt to hide any thing from thee, who fillest heaven and earth. What shall I say unto thee, Lord? I scarcely know how to speak any thing bad enough of myself. O woe is me, that I have done so foolishly and wickedly! Whither shall I betake myself, seeing that against thee, O Lord, I have so sinned, and done such evil in thy sight! Thou art the offended Majesty, out of whose reach I cannot escape; and whose judgements I can never be able to endure. A guilty consciousness makes me afraid to come unto thee: yet I know there is nothing but certain destruction if I keep away from thee. And though there is no peace to the wicked, whilst he continues in his sins, yet if the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts, and return to the Lord; thy pro M mise then, O God, is, to have mercy upon him, and abundantly to pardon. I have none to look unto for deliverance from my sins, but unto the just and holy God, against whom I have so grievously sinned. And how shall I stand in thy sight, O Lord, who hatest and condemnest the works of darkness, and the workers of iniquity? whose wrath against sin burns deep as hell, and as long as eternity. I submit, great Lord, to thy offended Majesty! and whithersoever I look, I have no hope but in thine almighty power, thy superabounding grace, and thine ever-enduring mercy. Nothing is too hard for thee to effect: the most wretched case is not past thy cure. Though our sins be as scarlet, thou canst make them as white as snow: though they be red like crimson, thou canst make them as wool. Yea, thou hast found a ransom, and laid help upon One that is mighty, even on thy dear Son, who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God through him. If I had not sinned, I had no need of such a Redeemer: but it was the sinful and the lost, whom he came to seek and save. To the Lord Jesus therefore do I look, with the desire of my soul, to find healing through the precious blood of his cross. O merciful God! when my sins cry to thee for vengeance, be thou pleased to hear his blood and merits pleading and interceding for my soul; and speaking better things in my behalf, than I am able to do for myself in all my prayers. Behold, O merciful Lord, a miserable object, on whom to glorify thy power and mercy! O look upon me, in my blood, and bid me live. Speak death to my sins; that my soul may live, and for ever bless thy name. Turn away thy face from my sins; and blot out all my iniquities. For thy name's sake, O Lord, pardon my sin, for it is great; too great for any, but a God of infinite goodness and mercy, to forgive. O magnify thyself in my deliverance. Make it seen, in thy work upon my soul, how great things, worthy of God, thou canst do: that where sin hath abounded, thy grace can much more abound. Return, O Lord, deliver my soul; O save me for thy mercy's sake. Save me from the guilt and punishment, from the power and pollution, of all my sins. And thou, Lord, who knowest how to deliver, make me some way to escape out of the perplexities into which my sins have cast me : that my iniquities may not be my ruin; but that they may be taken away and forgiven, and washed out with the blood of Jesus Christ. Turn thou me, O Lord God of my salvation, that I may be turned from my sins, and from this present evil world, unto thyself. O give me such conviction, as may end in sound conversion; and let me experience in myself that grace of God which bringeth salvation. I want thy grace, O Lord; and I shall want it to all eternity, if thou be not pleased to look graciously upon me in my blessed Redeemer. Thou wilt not have the less, how much soever thou bestowest: and thou canst not bestow thy grace upon any one that more needs it than myself. O God of all grace, that keepest mercy for thousands, hast thou not a blessing for me; a blessing for my perishing soul? For thy dear Son, my only Saviour's sake, let me find such grace in thy sight. O get thee everlasting glory, in so favouring the most unworthy of thy creatures. And whatever thou withholdest, O deny me not thy saving grace, which through so precious a treasure, is not too great or good for the God of infinite mercy to bestow. Do that work of thy grace thoroughly upon my heart, for which I may have cause to glorify thy name for evermore. Amen. A PRAYER UNDER THE DREAD OF GOD'S WRATH AND EVERLASTING DAMNATION. O LORD, the great and dreadful God, against whom I have greatly sinned! and who for my sins art justly displeased! when I consider the holiness of thy laws, and the strictness of thy justice; and when I reflect upon the heinous and innumerable sins of my heart and life; my flesh trembles for fear of thee, and I am afraid of thy judgements. O who may stand in thy sight, when once thou art angry? Who can bear up for ever, under all the vials of thy wrath when they shall be poured out to the uttermost; when thy mercy shall be clean gone, and thou shalt cast off, and be favourable no more? Yet would that be my woeful portion, if thou, O Lord, shouldst enter into judgement with me: I could then hope for no better, but to be deprived of all the comforts of this life, and to be delivered into the bitter pains of eternal death. But though the just wages of my sins be death, yet the gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord. O for his dear sake, who has satisfied thy justice, and appeased thy wrath, and suffered and died once, that we might not suffer and die for ever, even for thy Son's sake, O God and Father, have mercy upon me, a miserable sinner: from thy wrath, and from everlasting damnation, good Lord, deliver me. And help me, in the fear of thee, my God, to flee from the wrath to come; and to rid my hands, and my heart, of every cursed thing, that provokes the eyes of thy glory, and kindles thine indignation against thy creatures. O thou blessed Saviour of the world, save me from my sins, and from all their dismal effects: and reconcile me to God; and make my peace through the blood of thy cross. Thou tookest upon thee our mortal nature, that thou mightest, through death, destroy him who had the power of death; and deliver them, who, through fear of death, were all their life-time subject to bondage. Have compassion, Lord, I beseech thee, on my infirmities; and suffer me not to fall a prey to my own fears. But be surety for thy servant for good: undertake for me to discharge that heavy load of debt which I have contracted; that, being justified by faith, I may have peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ. Hide not thy face from me, O my Lord, lest I be like to them that go down into the pit: but revive my soul with the sense of thy love, and the hopes of everlasting salvation: that I may give thee thanks from the ground of my heart; and tell with gladness what thou hast done for my soul; and keep myself ever in thy love, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. Amen. A PRAYER UNDER FEARS AND DOUBTS OF OUR O LORD my God, I hope thou hast, of thy rich mercy, changed and renewed me in some measure; and wrought a good work upon me, to bring me out of my natural and lost condition into a state of grace and salvation. But yet the carnal nature is so predominant, and many sins are so lively and strong |