The Dramatic Works of Ben Jonson, and Beaumont and Fletcher

A COMEDY.

The Commendatory Verses by Gardiner ascribe this play to Fletcher alone; the Prologue to both Writers. It was originally printed in the folio edition; has not been performed for many years past; nor do we know of its ever having received any alterations.

PROLOGUE:

To this place, gentlemen, full many a day
We've bid ye welcome, and to many a play:
And those whose angry souls were not diseas'd
With law, or lending inoney,we have pleas'd;
And make no doubt to do again. This night,
No mighty matter, nor no light',

We must entreat you look for: A good tale,
Told in two hours, we will not fail,
If we be perfect, to rehearse ye. New
I'm sure it is, and handsome; but how true

Let them dispute that writ it. Ten to one
We please the women, and I'd know that man
Follows not their example! If ye mean
To know the play well, travel with the scene,
For't lies upon the road: If we chance tire,
As ye are good men, leave us not i' th' mire;
Another bait may mend us: If you grow
A little gall'd or weary, cry but 'hoa,'
And we'll stay for ye. When our journey ends,
Every man's pot I hope, and all part friends.

Nor no light.] The context, as well as the measure, seems to require us to read,
No mighty matter, nor no very light,
'We must entreat you look for;'

or something to that purpose.

MARC-ANTONIO, Son to Leonardo.
PEDRO, Friend to Leonardo.

RODORIGO, General of the Spanish Gallies.

INCURO, Bailiff of Castel-Blanco.
DIEGO, Host of Ossuna.

LAZARO, Hostier to Diego,

Host of Barcelona.

Bailiff of Barcelona.

Chirurgeons.

Soldiers.

Townsmen.

Attendants.:

THEODOSIA, Daughter to
Alphonso,

LEOCADIA, Daughter to

Sanchio,

in love with

Marc-Antonio.

EUGENIA, Wife to the Governor of Barcelona.
Hostess, Wife to Diego.

Wife to the Host of Barcelona,

SCENE, Barcelona and the Road.

Enter Incubo and Diego.

Incubo.

Diego. Why, how should I have answer'd?
Int. Not with that

SIGNOR don Diego, and mine host, Negligent rudeness; but, I kiss your hands,

save thee!

Signor don Incubo de flambre;' and then

My titles; master Baily of Castel-Blanco,

Thou ne'er wilt have the elegancy of an host; I sorrow for thee, as my friend and gossip!No smoak, nor steam out-breathing from the kitchen?

There's little life i̇' th' hearth then.

Diego. Ay; there, there!

That is his friendship, hearkening for the spit, And sorry that he cannot smell the pot boil. Inc. Strange

An inn should be so curs'd, and not the sign Blasted nor wither'd; very strange! three days now,

And not an egg eat in it, nor an onion.

Diego. I think they ha' strew'd th' highways with caltraps, I;

No horse dares pass 'em; I did never know A week of so sad doings, since I first Stood to my sign-post.

Inc. Gossip, I have found

The root of all: Kneel, pray; it is thyself
Art cause thereof; each person is the founder
Of his own fortune, good or bad: But mend it;
Call for thy cloak and rapier.
Diego. How!

Inc. Do, call,

And put 'em on in haste: Alter thy fortune, By appearing worthy of her. Dost thou think Her good face e'er will know a man in cuerpo? In single body, thus? in hose and doublet, The horse-boy's garb? base blank, and halfblank cuerpo?

Did I, or master dean of Sevil, our neighbour, E'er reach our dignities in cuerpo, think'st thou?

In squirting hose and doublet? Signor, no; There went more to't: There were cloaks, gowns, cassocks,

And other paramentos: Call, I say.
His cloak and rapier here!

Enter Hostess.

Hostess. What means your worship?
Inc. Bring forth thy husband's sword. So!
hang it on.

And now his cloak! here, cast it up. I mean, Gossip, to change your luck, and bring you guests.

Hostess. Why, is there charm in this?
Inc. Expect. Now walk;

But not the pace of one that runs on errands!
For want of gravity in an host is odious.
You may remember, gossip, if you please,
(Your wife being then th' infanta of the gip-
sies,
[then)

And yourself governing a great man's mules
Me a poor 'squire at Madrid, attending
A master of ceremonies (but a man, believe it,
That knew his place to the gold-weight); and
such,

Have I heard him oft say, ought ev'ry host
Within the Catholick king's dominions
Be, in his own house.

Diego. How?

Inc. A master of ceremonies; [cuerpo'; At least, vice-master, and to do nought in

That was his maxim. I will tell thee of him: He would not speak with an ambassador's cook,

See a cold bake-meat from a foreign part,
In cuerpo: Had a dog but stay'd without,
Or beast of quality, as an English cow,
But to present itself, he would put on
His Savoy chain about his neck, the ruff
And cuffs of Holland, then the Naples bat,
With the Rome hatband, and the Florentine
agat,

The Milan sword, the cloak of Genoa, set
With Flemish buttons; all his given pieces,
To entertain 'em in; and compliment

Knock withia. With a tame cony, as with the prince that Diego. List! who is there? [sent it Inc. A guest, an't be thy will! Diego. Look, spouse; cry 'luck,' an we be encounter'd. Ha?

Hostess. Luck then, and good; for 'tis a fine brave guest,

With a brave horse.

Inc. Why now, believe of cuerpo
As you shall see occasion. Go, and meet him.
Enter Theodosia.

Theod. Look to my horse, I pray you, well-
Diego. He shall, sir.

Inc. Oh, how beneath his rank and call
was that now!

Your horse shall be entreated as becomes A horse of fashion, and his inches. Theod. Oh!

[Stav!

Is but a vent of need2, that now and then Receives a guest between the greater towns, As they come late; only one room▬▬▬▬▬

Inc. She means, sir, it is none

Of those wild scatter'd heaps call'd inns, where scarce

The host's heard, tho' he wind his horn this people;

Here is a competent pile, wherein the man, Wife, servants, all do live within the whistle. Hostess. Only one room ——

Inc. A pretty modest quadrangle! She will describe to you.

Hostess. (Wherein stand two beds, sir) We have; and where, if any guest do come, He must of force be lodg'd; that is the truth, sir.

Enter Diego.

Theod. But if I pay you for both your beds, That should alike content you. [methinks,

Hostess. That it shall, sir:

If I be paid, I'm paid.

Theod. Why, there's a ducat; Will that make your content?

Hostess. Oh, the sweet face on you! A ducat? yes: An there were three beds, sir, And twice so many rooms, which is one more, You should be private in them all, in all, sir: No one should have a piece of a bed with you; Not master dean of Sevil himself, I swear, Tho' he came naked hither, as once he did, When h' had like t' have been ta'en a-bed with the Moor,

And gelt by'r master; you shall be as private As if you lay in's own great house that's

haunted,

Where nobody comes, they say.
Theod. I thank you, Hostess.
'Pray you, will you shew me in?

Hostess. Yes, marry will I, sir;

And pray that not a flea, or a chinch 3 vex [Exeunt Hostess and Theod.

you.

Inc. You forget supper! Gossip, move for

Venta.] An inn. Hispanicè. Theobald.

And drank my whole twelve marvedis in wine, As easy as I now get down three olives.

Diego. And, with your temperance-favour, yet I think

Your worship would put to't at six and thirtys, For a good wager; and the meal in too.

Inc. I do not know what mine old mouth can do;

I have not prov'd it lately.

Diego. That's the grief, sir.

Inc. But is he, without hope then, gone to-bed?

Hostess. I fear so, sir; h' has lock'd the

You should ha' told him, gossip, what you had
Given him the inventory of your kitchen;
It is the picklock in an inn, and often
Opens a close-barr'd stomach. What may
he be, trow?

Has he so good a horse?

Diego. Oh, a brave jennet, As e'er your worship saw. Inc. And he eats?

Diego. Strongly.

Inc. A mighty solecism! Heav'n give me What creatures has he? [patience! Hostess. None.

3 Chinch.] Stevens's Spanish Dictionary explains chinche in this manner: An insect breeding in wood, and particularly in bedsteads. We call them bugs, and from the French punaises, Latin cimex, thence corruptly chinche.'

4 With a sardina and Zant oil?] A surdina, or sardiny, is an anchovy.

Sympson.

5 Your worship would put to't at six and thirty.] Sympson says, 'This is not an age for a man to be called old at: Six and fifty, I imagine, was what our Authors wrote.' We see no reason for this variation; thirty-six is old to seventeen,

Inc. And so well cloath'd,

And so well mounted?

Diego. That's all my wonder, sir, Who be should be: He is attir'd and hors'd For the constable's son of Spain.

Inc. My wonder's more

[night
He should want appetite.-Well, a good
To both my gossips! I will for this time
Put off the thought of supping. In the morn-
Remember him of breakfast, 'pray you. [ing,
Hostess. I shall, sir.

Diego. A hungry time, sir.
Inc. We that live like mice

On others' meat, must watch when we can get it.

[Exit.

Hostess. Yes, but I would not tell him, our
fair guest

Says, tho' he eat no supper, he will pay
For one.

Diego. Good news! we'll cat it, spouse, t' his health.

'Twas politickly done t' admit no shaters.

Enter Incubo.

Sure, tho' I lie o' th' ground, I'll stay here

now,

And have a sight of him: You'll give me house-room,

Fire, and fresh meat, for money, gentle And make me a pallet? [Hostess,

Inc. Sir, she shall do reason.

I understood you had another guest, gossips: 'Pray you let his mule be look'd-to, have good straw,

And store of bran. And, gossip, do you hear, Let him not stay for supper: What good fowl ha' you?

This gentleman would eat a pheasant.
Hostess. 'Las, sir,

We ha' no such.

Inc. I kiss your hands, fair sir.

What ha' you then? speak what you have.I'm one, sir,

Here for the Catholic king, an officer
T'enquire what guests come to these places:
You, sir,

Appear a person of quality, and 'tis fit
You be accommodated.—Why speak you not?
What ha' you, woman? are you afraid to vent
That which you have?

Phil. This is a most strange man,
T'appoint my meat!

Hostess. The half of a cold hen, sir, And a boil'd quarter of kid, is all i' th' house. Inc. Why, all's but cold. Let him seei

forth; cover,

And give the eye some satisfaction: [salt; A traveller's stomach must see bread and His belly is nearer to him than his kindred.→ Cold hen's a pretty meat, sir.

Phil. What you please.

I am resolv'd t' obey.

Inc. So is your kid,

[orange:

With peper, garlick, and the juice of an She shall with sallads help it, and clean

linen.

Inc. Sir, I salute you here.
Phil. I kiss your hands, sir.

Inc. Good wine! it will beget an appetite: Fill him, and sit down, gossip; entertain Your noble guest here, as becomes your title. Diego. Please you to like this wine, sir? Phil. I dislike

Nothing, mine host, but that I may not see Your conceal'd guest. Here's to you! Diego. In good faith, sir,

I wish y' as well as him; 'would you might

sce him!

Inc. And wherefore may he not?