THE KNIGHT OF THE BURNING PESTLE. Quod si Judicium subtile, videndis artibus illud Horat. in Epist. ad Oct. Aug. 7 This Play was first printed in quarto, in the year 1613. The title-page, edit. 1635, ascribes it to both Authors: The preface and the prologue, however, attribute it to one only. Langbaine says, it was in vogue some years since, being revived at the King's House, and a new prologue, instead of the old one in prose, spoken by Mrs. Ellen Guin. He likewise conjectures, that the idea of bringing the Citizen and his Wife upon the stage was in imitation of Ben Jonson's Staple of News. We do not know of any revival of it since the time Langbaine mentions above. TO THE READERS OF THIS COMEDY. GENTLEMEN, the world is so nice in these our times, that for apparel there is no fashion; for musick (which is a rare art, though now slighted) no instrument; for diet, none but the French quelque chose that are delicate; and for plays, no invention but that which now runHeth an invective way, touching some particular persons, or else it is contemned before it is thoroughly understood. This is all that I have to say, That the Author had no intent to wrong any one in this Comedy; but, as a merry passage, here and there interlaced it with delight, which he hopes will please all, and be hurtful to uone. PROLOGUE. WHERE the bee can suck no honey, she leaves her sting behind; and where the bear cannot find origanum to heal his grier, he blasteth all other leaves with his breath. We fear, it is like to fare so with us; that seeing you cannot draw from our labours sweet content, you leave behind you a sour mislike, and with open reproach blame our good meaning, because you cannot reap the wonted mirth. Our intent was at this time to move inward delight, not outward lightness; and to breed (if it might be) soft smiling, not loud laughing; knowing it, to the wise, to be a great pleasure to hear counsel mixed with wit, as, to the foolish, to have sport mingled with rudeness. They were banished the theatre of Athens, and from Rome hissed, that brought parasites on the stage with apish actions, or fools with uncivil habits, or courtezans with immodest words. We have endeavoured to be as far from unseemly speeches, to make your ears glow, as we hope you will be free from unkind reports, or mistaking the author's intention, who never aimed at any one particular in this play, to make our cheeks blush. And thus I leave it, and thee to thine own censure, to like or dislike. Vale1. And thus I leave it, &c.] These words seem more addressed to the reader than spectator, to whom this Address rather would apply as an epilogue. Prol. And a freeman? Cit. Yea, and a grocer. Prol. So, grocer; then, by your sweet favour, we intend no abuse to the city. Cit. No, sir? yes, sir; if you were not resolv'd to play the Jacks, what need you study for new subjects, purposely to abuse your betters? Why could not you be coniented, as well as others, with the legend of Whittington, or the Life and Death of Sir Thomas Gresham? with the building of the Royal Exchange? or the story of Queen Eleanor, with the rearing of London-Bridge upon wool-sacks? Prol. You seem to be an understanding man; what would you have us do, sir? Cit. Why, present something notably in honour of the commons of the city. Prol. Why, what do you say to the Life and Death of fat Drake, or the Repairing of Fleet Privics?) Cit. I do not like that; but I will have a citizen, and he shall be of my own trade. Prot. Oh, you should have told us your mind a month since; our play is ready to begin now. Cit. 'Tis all one for that; I will have a grocer, and he shall do admirable things. Prol. What will you have him do? Cit. Marry, I will have himWife below. Husband, husband! Ralph below]. Peace, mistress! Wife. Hold thy peace, Ralph; I know what I do, I warrant you. Husband, husband! Cit. What say'st thou, cony? band, let him kill a lion with a Pestle! Wife. Let him kill a lion with a Pestle, hus Cit. So he shall; I'll have him kill a lion with a Pestle. Wife. Husband! shall I come up, husband? Cit. Ay, cony. Ralph, help your mistress this way. Pray, gentlemen, make her a litthe room; I pray you, sir, lend me your band to help up my wife: I thank you, sir; so! Wife. By your leave, gentlemen tul! I'm something troublesome; I'm a stranger here; I was ne'er at one of these plays, as they say, before; but I should have seen Jane Shore once; and my husband bath pro mised me any time this twelvemonth, to carry me to the Bold Beauchamns, but in truth he did not. I pray you bear with me. Cit. Boy, let my wife and I have a couple of stools, and then begin; and let the grocer do rare things. . Prol. But, sir, we have never a boy to play him: Every one hath a part already. Wife. Husband, husband, for God's sake, Jane Shore.] Probably, The First and Second Parts of King Edward the Fourth, containing his merry pastime with the Tanner of Tamworth, as also his love to far mistrisse Shore, her great promotion, fall and miserie, and lastly the lamentable death of both her and her husband, &c. as it hath divers times been publickly played by the right honourable the carle of Derbie his servants.' B. L. quarto. R. let Ralph play him: Beshrew me, if I do not think he will go beyond them all. Cit. Well remember'd, wife. Come up, Ralph! I'll tell you, gentlemen; let thei but lend him a suit of reparrel, and necessaries, and, by gad, if any of them all blow wind in the tail on him, i'll be hang'd. Wife. I pray you, youth, let him have a suit of reparrel! I'll be sworn, gentlemen, my husband tells you true: He will act you sometimes at our house, that all the neighbours cry out on him; he will fetch you up a couraging part so in the garret, that we are all as fear'd I warrant you, that we quake again. We'll fear our children with him; if they be never so unruly, do but cry, Ralph comes, Ralph comes,' to them, and they'll be as quiet as lambs. Hold up thy head, Ralph; shew the gentlemen what thou canst do; speak a huffing part; I warrant you the gentlemen will accept of it. Cit. Do, Ralph, do. Kalph. By Heaven, methinks 3, it were an easy leap moon, To pluck bright honour from the pale-fac'd Or dive into the bottom of the sea, Where never fathom-line touch'd any ground, And pluck up drowned honour from the lake of hell. Cit. How say you, gcatlemen, is it not as I told you? Wife. Nay, gentlemen, he hath play'd before, my husband says, Musidorus 4, before the wardens of our company. Cit. Ay, and he should have play'd Jeronimo 5 with a shoemaker for a wager. Prol. He shall have a suit of apparel, if he will go in. Cit. In, Ralph, in, Ralph! and set out the grocery in their kind, if thou lov'st me. . Wife. I warrant our Ralph will look finely when he's dress'd. Prol. But what will you have it call'd? Prot. Shaumms? No. Cit. No? I'm a thief if my mind did not give me so. Ralph plays a stately part, and he must needs have shauns: I'll be at the charge of them myself, rather than we'll be without them. Prol: So you are like to be. Cit. Why, and so I will be: There's two shillings; let's have the waits of Southwark ! they are as rare fellows as any are in England, and that will fetch them all o'er the water, with a vengeance, as if they were mad. Prol. You shall have them. Will you sit down then? Cit Ay. Come, wife. Wife. Sit you merry all, gentlemen; I'm bold to sit amongst you for my ease. Prol. From all that's near the court, from Within the compass of the city-walls, All private taxes, all immodest phrases7, Thus much for that we do ; but, for Ralph's part, you must answer for yourself 6. Cit. Take you no care for Ralph; he'll discharge himself, I warrant you. Wife. I'faith, gentlemen, I'll give my word for Ralph. 3 By Heaven, methinks, &c.] This speech (with very little variation) is taken from Shakespeare's First Part of Henry IV. 4 Musidorus. This Play was printed in the year 1593, and afterwards in 1610, 1615, 1629, and 1668. The title to the edition of 1629 is the following: A most pleasant Comedy of Macedorus, the King's Sonne of Valentia, and Amadine the King's Daughter of Aragon; with the merry conceits of Mouse Amplified, with new additions, as it was acted before the King's Majesty at Whitehall, on Shrove-Sunday night, by his Highnesse Servants usually playing at the Globe.' In a volume now in the possession of Mr. Garrick, and which formerly belonged to King Charles, this Play is ascribed to Shakespeare. 5 Jeronimo. See note 36 on The Chances. Shaums.] Musical instruments mentioned in Scripture, probably from pseaume, French w for psaims, to which they were accompaniments. Some editions read shawnes. 7 All private taxes, immodest phrases, Whate'cr may but shew--] The variations were prescribed by an anonymous correspondent of Mr. Sympson. For Ralph's port you must answer for yourself.] I once thought that this latter for was to be struck out as redundant; but upon examination we shall find it not a redundancy, but a deficiency, and should read thus, answer for't yourself.' Sympson. The old reading is easy, and correct enough for common conversation. ACT I. Adding the trust of all I have, at home, To thy direction; tied the good opinions To love your master's daughter; and even then When I had found a wealthy husband for hers my Jasp. Sir, I do liberally confess I'm yours, If there be any love to my deservings She's private to herself, and best of knowledge Whom she will make so happy as to sigh for. Besides, I cannot think you mean to match Unto a fellow of so lame a presence, [her One that hath little left of nature in him. Merch. 'Tis very well, sir; I can tell your wisdom How all this shall be cur'd. Jasp. Your care becomes you. Merch. And thus it shall be, sir: I here discharge you My house and service; take your liberty; Oh, you that live in freedom never prove Enter Luce. Luce. Why, how now, friend? struck with my father's thunder? [remedy Jasp. Struck, and struck dead, unless the Be full of speed and virtue; I am now, What I expected long, no more your father's. Luce. But mine? Jusp. But yours, and only yours I am; That's all I have to keep me from the statute. You dare be constant still? Luce. Oh, fear me not! In this I dare be better than a woman. Luce. Yes, and love him dearly; Jasp. Oh, no; I do not mean to do him so much kindness. But to our own desires 1o: You know the plot We both agreed on? Luce. Yes, and will perform My part exactly. Jusp. I desire no more. Farewell, and keep my heart; 'tis yours. Luce. I take it; He must do miracles, make me forsake it. [Exeunt. Cit. Fy upon 'em, little infidels! what a matter's here now? Well, I'll be hang'd for a halfpenny, if there be not some abomination knavery in this play. Well; let 'em look to't; Ralph must come, and if there be any tricks a-brewing Wife. Let 'en brew and bake too, husband, a God's name; Ralph will find all out, I warrant you, an they were older than they are. I pray, my pretty youth, is Ralph ready? Boy. He will be presently. Wife. Now I pray you make my commendations unto him, and withal, carry him this stick of licorice; tell him his mistress sent it bim; and bid him bite a piece; 'twill open his pipes the better, say. Enter Merchant and Master Humphrey. Merch. Come, sir, she's yours; upon my faith, she's yours; You have my hand: For other idle letts, Between your hopes and her, thus with a wind They're scatter'd, aud no more. My wanton 'prentice, That like a bladder blew himself with love, I have let out, and sent him to discover New masters yet unknown. Hum. I thank you, sir, Indeed I thank you, sir; and ere I stir, Altho', as writers say, all things have end, But to our own desires.] Probably designs. |