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Kate felt the frog and loathsome toad and drinking. If he has any bad Slow crawling o'er her feet ;
babit, it is that of being an inveteAnd snails and slime, around the walls, rate snuff-taker; he had learned to Her trembling fingers meet.
smoke on shipboard, but renounced Their faithful dog leap'd, lick’d, and it, in complaisance to his lady. The
following is his inaugural poem at fawnd, Impatient to be gone,
his introduction to the club. And seem'd to say, with earnest whine, « Come, let me lead you on!”.
Let Celts and Saxons o'er their whisky Kate loos'd the garter from her leg,
smile, The end was snatch'd by Spring ; The cur will thus the beggar lead,
While dear potsheen delights the Emerald And guide him in a string.
John Bull get maudlin o'er his muddy She took the piper on her arm,
beer, And bade him briskly play ;
Or pour his ale, like amber bright and And through the long Forbidden Cave
clear ; They slowly wend their way.
While Billingsgate resounds with ceaseless
din, Thus through the labyrinth of Crete, Inspir'd by fiery, noxious, home-made By Ariadne's thread,
gin ; The Grecian hero hail'd the sun,
Jamaica rum let Glasgow merchants quaff, By Love and Beauty led.
Till echoes deep return the joyous laugh;
Let Hollands and Nantes Brandy, in dis. The sun shines soft, and the birds are guise blithe,
As cordial waters, tippling wives entice; And Dickmount-Law is green ; Let Eastern grandees on their sofas set, But softer smiles the winsome Kate, Their drowsy opium chew, and sip sher. More blithe her piper's e'en.
Let fragrant coffee cheer the student's Since our Secretary's last commu. braing nication to you, we have admitted And frothy chocolate the fluttering train, five new members. The first is a Who breathless run in Fashion's giddy gentleman, who, being bred to the round, sea, was lucky enough to become sail. In luxury plunged-in dissipation drown'd; ing.master of a West-Indiaman, and Let France and Spain exulting sing their in a few years after married the only
vine daughter of a wealthy merchant re A humbler, yet a nobler theme be mine. cently dead; his lady stipulating,
Tobacco, hail !-rich aromatic plant ! that, as she had wealth sufficient to Thy virtues I would sing, thy praises chant; procure happiness, he should leave The Indian sees thy smoking incense rise, the sea, and accompany her to Scot
Fit offering for the ruler of the skies; land, to the land that gave birth to
Thou art the pledge of peace ; thy curlher father. He replied, in the words
ing smoke of Hammond,
Confirms a league no interest can revoke.
mer shines, With thee, in lonely deserts I could dwell
, Ripening the diamond in Golconda's mines, Where never human footstep mark'd the
To where the sun, in the far distant west, ground!
Shines on the Appalachian mountain's They have been settled here for breast, some years, and are a most amiable Or, further still, sheds his meridian smiles couple. She is gay without levity, On California, or the Sandwich Isles ; and modest without prudery. He is From northern Oonolaska's deserts hor, fond of his wife, but not uxorious ; Wide o'er the world thy social charms
To southern Patagonia's dreary shore; his talents are rather solid than sbin
are dealt, ing: they are rich without being Thy virtues own'd, thy cheering influence purse-proud ; and their house is the mansion of hospitality, without os. The prince, the clown, the tyrant, and tentation. He has an extensive ac. the slave, quaintance, but only a few intimate The hardy tar that stems the stormy wave, friends; and these, like himself, are The sage, the savage, and the devotee, generally temperate, both in cating All court thy aid, for all delight in thee;
The Eastern Monarch leaves the Haram's The burning incense - sweetly-scented charms,
balm, And quits, for thee, his fond Sultana's Sheds o'er his face a philosophic calm ; arms;
On either hand, perhaps, a social friend, With thee, on gilded couch at ease to loll, Of taste congenial, mingling pleasures When Beauty's blush has fail'd to warm blend ; his soul,
At intervals, the odoriferous smoke He scorns Circassia's smile and loveliest Is follow'd by the sly, insinuating joke; bloom,
Around their heads the curling vapours To breathe the fragrance of thy rich per. roll, fume :
Diffusing bland serenity of soul. Where sultry suns with languid heat op Nor less alone this pleasure is enjoy'd ; press,
While glows the pipe, the mind not un'Tis thine to breathe a balm for weariness; employ'd ; The twisted hookah throughthe water led, 'Twas thus great Newton smok’d, and Thy cooling sweets are then more richly clear'd his brain, shed :
And whiff'd and thought, and puffod and In colder regions of the frozen north,
thought again ; Where Winter sends his icy horrors forth, Regal'd his senses, while his mighty mind, Thou can'st the rigours of the climate Abstracted, left the wondering world becharm,
hind. Glad the cold lips, the shivering bosom See him deep plunged in poverty's low warm.
vale, Their hours some o'er the silver tan With sickly, sedentary labour pale, kard pass ;
And hear him frankly to his friend de. Some drain the wine-cup, or the sparkling clare, glass ;
He'll rather stint his scanty, homely fare, The busy artisan, and guzzling sot, Than be denied the rich salubrious treat, Both swill their porter from a pewter pot! Restorative, beyond expression sweet ! Gay bon-vivants indulge the flow of soul, The veteran warrior, on the tented plain, With warm libations from the porcelain Victim of scorching suns and soaking bowl;
rain, The jolly yeoman tells his evening tale As rolls the rattling drum, lights his cigar, O'er cyder flatulent, or potent ale ; And hastes to wage the sanguinary war ; The squire's October is his pride and The houseless wretch, who nightly makes boast,
his bed His nightly dose a tankard and a toast. Where green woods wave, and stars shine These are no calm and philosophic joys; o'er his head, Their children laughter, song, and bois. If full or fasting, strikes the ready steel, terous noise ;
That he the soul-inspiring smoke may The parents, too, of apoplexy dire, Vertigo, and podagra's raging fire His black and stunted pipe, two inches The quicken'd pulse, parch'd tongue, and long, restless night,
He lights, and sucks with inspiration Dull aching head at morn's returning strong, light-
Then on his bed of green leaves lays him Lost appetite, blotch'd face, and purple down,
More careless far than he who wears a All these, and other nameless, countless woes,
But life's best bliss is oftentimes abus'd, Conspire to rack and waste the human And ills and sorrows follow gifts mis
frame, When constant, strong excitement fans The gentle breeze that fills the swelling the flame;
sail, Like burning taper in a stream of air, Or breathes rich health along the rural The dazzling blaze may shed a brighter vale, glare ;
When risen to tempest, ravages the plains, Unsteady shines the flickering, fitful light, Leaves roofless cottages, and ruin'd Grows dim-flames-trembles-and ex. swains ; pires in night.
The stream that irrigates the meadow But mark the sage, set in his elbow green, chair,
Will fertilize and beautify the scene ; Stranger alike to levity and care ; But to a torrent swollen, it bursts its From snow-white pipe he leisurely inhales bound, A fragrance richer than Arabian gales ; Resistless, scattering desolation round;
A gentle fragrance will regale the sense ; Aware that this is daily his repast, But, when too strong, the odour gives of. When, light of heart, he climbs the rock. fence;
ing mast ; Or loathsome weeds may be with roses Amidst the battle's roar, smoke hovering twined,
dun, The odour Aies, and leaves the stench be He turns his quid, and coolly points his hind.
gun; Yon creaking signboard, swinging in And, wounded, laid beside some messmate the gale,
slain, Lures to the Harrow, famous for its ale ; A snatch of pig-tail mitigates his pain. The landlord jolly, and his helpmate fair, But landsmen-faugh!—it is a vulgar All meet a frank, or specious welcome feast, there;
Foul as the opium-eaters of the East ! His ready tale, her smile and sparkling Ye sensual slaves to such a habit vile, eye,
List to the laughter-loving museand smile: With nappy brown, make light-wing'd I know a town-it matters nothing hours glide by
where, The door is open-loud the bustling din- Tobacco-eaters are abundant there ; Suppose we see what's going on within ; Last Winter, when the storm's resistless The noisy guests are in the parlour met, force And round a slabbered wainscot-table Laid strict embargo upon cart and horse, set,
Coals, meal, and salt, had disappear'd and With pipes, tobacco, bottles, glasses fled, crown'd,
And, shivering, some went supperless to Fish-bones and oyster-shells commingling round;
But, worse than all-tobacco there was Coarse tawdry prints hung round the none. walls are seen,
All was consum'd, each dealer's stock was With names below, to tell you what they done. mean ;
Ah ! dire distress for the narcotic plant, The Sailor's Parting, and his glad Return; When many there could neither work nor Britannia weeping o'er her Nelson's urn; Fox-hunting, and the famous horse E As shipwreck'd sailors, 'midst their nu. clipse ;
merous woes, Milkmaids, Don Cossacks, birds, and By thirst and famine pinch'd, their senses battle-ships :
lose, But all are veil'd in deep impervious A son of Crispin felt his reason fly, gloom,
With giddy head, his palate parch'd and For smoke, thick, dark, and dense, per dry ; vades the room ;
His dinner-board was crown'd with whole. The candles glimmering through the some fare ; misty haze,
But all was loath'd-tobacco was not there! Like wintry stars when fogs obscure their " What boots,” he cried, “ in want at rays :
home to die? Loud is their laughter and continuous I'll dare the storm, to seek some kind noise,
supply !" While swilling, smoking, still prolong Quick from his stall the frenzied cobler their joys;
pass'd, Alike shag or twist-no kind comes And sallied out, regardless of the blast; wrong
Amidst the pathless wreaths he floun. Virginia sweet or Oronooko strong ;
dered on, Their talk, at best buffoonery, idle, vain, Till resolution fail'd, and strength was With songs libidinous, and jests profane.
gone ; They pull the bell, impatiently they bawl, His weary limbs in snow encumber'd deep, And swearing loud, for cards and liquor He felt a numbness o'er his vitals creep, call.
He sigh'd, and thought of those now left Your glowing cheek, and titillating cough, behind, Declare that you have felt, and seen, and His prattling children, and their mother heard enough!
kind, We turn from these, while Fancy calls to Then cast around a sad, despairing look, view
And madly from his greasy pocket took Those vulgar feeders, who tobacco chew. The seal-skin pouch, which held the treaWe would not scoff, nor scorn the British
Which Frenzy whisper'd he should taste His country's bulwark in the time of war, no more!
'Twas large and sleek, thick clad with Some Lundyfoot, or Irish Blackguard glossy hair,
prize; And strongly flavour'd with his favourite And all but Cotton's mixture some defare ;
spise; He lickd-he chewd-so long condemn. With those in health plain food does best ed to fast,
agree, His heart reviv'd--so rich the rare repast, Even so, Kirk of Kirkaldy's Black Rappee The hairy skin, so grateful to his taste, I prize, amidst the multifarious throngWas all devour'd, in keen, voracious haste! 'Tis wholesome, fragrant, pungent, sweet, Thus Captain Franklin and his followers and strong! fed
Why should the muse, fastidious, scorn On leather, tripe de roche, and made their to sing bed
The snuff-box-present worthy of a king? In desert snows, far from the haunts of As witness those, to strangers of renown, men,
That day our gracious Sovereign got the In stiffening cold to wake, anew to pine again.
Some are with gems and splendid brilI here might close, but it would be un liants graced, just,
Or massive gold, enamelled and enchas'd; Should I omit the titillating dust ; Plain silver some—the marbled, crookedSnuff-takers too might say I did them horn, wrong
By many Scotsmen as an heir-loom worn; Were they forgot, neglected in my song. Some those of Laurencekirk with pride I speak not of the foppish, essenced regard, thing,
Enrich'd with scenes from Coila's match. His lily finger graced with brilliant ring, less bard : Who sports his box, its lustre to display, Papier maché gives fops and fools delight, Precisely neat, or negligently gay ; With pictures, painful to the modest sight, Of bim I sing, whose snuff-box can in Where eyes licentious gloat with wanton spire
gaze, With new ideas, or with brighter fire. And loose inscriptions, couched in Gallic The grave divine, long puzzled and per. phrase ; plex'd,
The poor man's store-house, horn, or lata With dubious comment on some crabbed ten-tin, text,
He cares not for the box, but what's Inhales a pinch, to clear his clouded brain,
within ; And finds the reading clear, the meaning Mine, on its lid, tells of an absent friend plain :
Recalls the past, where mingled feelings The sage physician, e'er he name the blend, dose,
And meditating much on what has been, First feels the patient's pulse, then primes With smiles and sighs I mark the chanhis nose :
ging scene; The lawyer, musing on a knotty cause, Till Reason whispers, life is sun and shade; In quest of quibbles, quirks, and legal A flowery meadow, and a frosty glade ; flaws,
Convinced that man the sour with sweet Turns Blackstone o'er---reads-raps his must share, box, and then
I take another pinch, and try to banish Peruses, pauses-snuffs, and reads again: The starving 'poet, hunting for a rhyme, A simile, or metaphor sublime,
We named this speaker Sir WalWill in his snuff-box inspiration find, ter Raleigh, for reasons which will Nicotiana is a muse most kind :
be obvious to every reader, who reThe wandering beggar, homeless, blind, collects when and by whom tobacco and old,
was first introduced into this counWhen in his face the wind blows keen
try. and cold,
The next member admitted was The round hail gathering in his hoary
an unmarried gentleman, whose sun locks, Turns round, and seeks for comfort in his
of life was now declining. He had box.
been educated for the church As epicures high-seasoned food require, licensed, and had preached occasionSo Macuba, or Strasburg, some admire;
ally, when he entered as tutor in a Some invalids, when vapours cloud the gentleman's family, from whom he brain,
received a promise of a living whenInhale Cephalic, to relieve their pain ; ever it should become vacant, the
incumbent being then old. While
The Rainbow ; in that situation, a mutual attach
An Elegy. ment took place between him and a young lady; and their union was 'Twas Summer, and the radiant lord of delayed, only from prudential mo
day tives, till he should be inducted in Bright on his golden car had mounted the promised living. He had long The flow'rs, erewhile, so fragrant, green,
high : been intimately acquainted with a College companion, and their inti
In languor droop'd beneath a burning macy had for some time been matu
sky: red into friendship. man, who was now also licensed, The birds were hush'd within the leafy came to reside in the same quarter brake, of the country, and often visited his And Echo silent in her dim wood-cave; friend; and being well received in The herds were hast'ning to the cooling the family, most villanously con
lake, trived to ruin his friend, by secretly
Their thirst to quench, their panting
sides to lave : aspersing his character. The result was, that some slight pretence was The trout was gasping in his shallow found for dismissing the tutor pool, whose place was instantly filled by The nibbling sheep in languor nipp'd his infamous traducer. The old par.
the blade ; son died in about a year after, and And urchins loiter'd as they crawl'd from the false friend succeeded to the liv.
school, ing. Not satisfied with the injuries
Or lay supine beneath the birchen
shade : he had already done, he contrived to inflict a still deeper and more poig. The youthful mower dropp'd his brawny nant wound; for in less than three
aris; months after his induction, he mar Relax'd, he laid him on the scented ried the faithless woman, whose heart
grass ; and hand were pledged to his friend. Beside him, beauty glow'd in rural With a heart feelingly alive to the charms, warmest sympathies of Friendship, His fond eye gazing on the ruddy lass. and the still more tender endearments of Love, and thus basely betrayed by
A dark cloud gather'd in the southern
sky, the one, and deceived in the other,
While sultry stillness hover'd o'er the Mr for some time almost re
plain ; nounced his intercourse with the
And fondly rais'd was many an anxious world, earning a precarious subsist.
eye ence by writing for the London
To hail the harbinger of genial rain ; booksellers. At length, by the death of a distant relation, he succeeded For o'er the heav'ns, their bright ethereal to a small fortune, which his retire
bow ment and temperance renders equal
Sublimely stretch'd, embracing sea and to his wants. He cam to reside here,
land; that he might, if possible, forget
A glowing arch, that reach'd to earth be. scenes which he was determined
low, never again to visit. While his
Whose hues resplendent mock the heart overflows with “ the milk of
painter's hand. human kindness,” the bitter gall of Magnificently grand its glorious span, misanthropy drops from his tongue. Each varied shade from red to violet “ With few associates, and not wish
there; ing more," he is esteemed and be Yet none could tell where this or that be. loved by all who know him well.
gan, He wished to become a member of
The regular confusion was so fair. the Club, as a relaxation and reliev- No fairer painting graces Nature's page ; ing variety, from the dull uniformity
So rich the splendour of reflecting light, of his life. His introductory piece That old and young, the idiot and the was the following; and all of us lis
sage, tened with melancholy pleasure du Delight to gaze, enraptur'd with the ring his recitation :