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to look out for game, and to fancy a hare | hind his comrade. Three or four have flung or a partridge or two might not be an un away their guns with their valor. The little pleasant variation of our daily fare. Every tailor leads the van. His borse has the thing around us bore such an air of peace lightest weight and the longest legs. Beand quietude that the most nervous began hind many a bush a Kafir head peers for to feel confidence and to talk valiantly. a moment, when a flying shot or two makes
About ten o'clock, a strange sound is it drive out of sight. But they are the heard. Some of our party are seen flying braver ones of the party who think of firing towards the camp as fast as their legs will at all : with most the idea of such a thing carry them. As they approach they shout would be madness; they are running for "Kafirs !" Nervous men shake, brave men their own lives, and have not the smallest are taken by surprise, cowards drop their thought about those of their enemies. jaws and look like Mr. Manning about to be! History records that some of my gallant hanged. “Where? where ?" is the next troop could hardly summon up courage to cry. “Everywhere !" is the answer. | draw bridle when, after galloping for forty
“Saddle and mount !” cries the captain, miles, they found themselves again in Gramost unnecessarily, for every man does it ham's Town. It also declares that the instinctively.
| largest party that arrived together was I gallop to one point of the triangle, and three! When any horseman was seen apI see the dark skins and woolly heads of proaching the town at a rapid pace for a the Kafirs, their long guns on their slender day or two afterwards it was suggested that assagais, peeping through the bush in all it was one of “the troop.” As for myself, directions, and advancing towards us. II went straight to the officer in command dash across to the opposite point, and I see and reported the whole of the affair from the same thing. I look to the blind river, beginning to end with a minuteness and acand I see our dark enemies pouring down it curacy worthy of the exalted subject. I was as rapidly as the stream of water that of received with chilling coldness, heard with old flowed in it. We are about fifty or dumb surprise, and at the end of my narsixty; our opponents seem to be hundreds rative attacked with a tirade of invective or thousands.
which I only wish I could put into print as Meantime every man is mounting in “hot a specimen of military eloquence. I believe haste," and, to my intense horror, galloping that I was to be tried by court-martial and for his life towards the Drift, in full retreat! shot, at the very least. My gallant troop I shout to them ; I rave, I threaten, I curse; were to be put in irons as deserters; and to but fear, the most imminent and deadly fear wind up the whole, our retreat was prohas seized them all, (save a very few choice nounced “the most cowardly thing which spirits,) and they heed nothing but the fran- had disgraced the British Army since the tic hope of saving their lives by their affair of Bergen-op-Zoom !" horses' heels. I am well mounted; I dash Thus ended, good reader, the services of to the ford and cry “Halt,” and plant my my “crack" volunteer troop! Every one self in the way to stop them. I do not wish of them (bad luck to them !) is a marked to remain on the triangular spot, but I man to this day; except the captain wish to maintain my ground on the other (ahem !) who succeeded in clearing his side, where the Kafirs cannot surround us. character eventually by deeds which — It is all of no avail. “Sauve qui peut !” but, no; he makes you his very humble is the cry,-or the idea ; and I was about obeisance. as much Captain of my burgher troop, then, as of the body-guard of the Emperor of Russia.
Vulgarity of manners may co-exist with Away we go, then, as fast as our horses a polished mind, and urbanity with a vulgar can carry us. Mercy on him !—the fat man one; the union of both constitutes the has been pitched off the gray cob with the gentleman, whatever may be the grade in lively tail, and is roaring, with drooping which it is found. jaw, for help. Another gives him a band When we seem to blame ourselves, we up, and he gallops away, riding double be- I mean only to extort praise.
136 SCENES FROM THE LIFE OF AN (EX) UNPROTECTED FEMALE. From “ Punch.”
| Mary (putting herself, morally, into an SCENES FROM THE LIFE OF AN (EX) attitude of self-defence.) Please, M', I were UNPROTECTED FEMALE.
not a gossipin! It's a man with the Cen
sers. Mrs. Jones (late Miss Martha STRUGGLES) Ex-Unprotected Female (whose mind is
receives a Census Paper, and has difficul- acutely alive to the encroachments of the ties in respect of it.
Papal power.) The Censers! Oh! GoodTime.-Saturday, March 29.
ness gracious me! Bringing Censers to my MR. JONES is away from home, on business. house! They'll bring the incense next, and
Mrs. Jones has been left for a week to the white veil, I suppose, and ask one to go struggle with her loneliness, a sense of the into a Nunnery—the wretches! When they horrors of Papal Aggression and the ap. | know I can't abear MR. BENNETT and the proaching Exhibition of all Nations, a Puseyites, let alone the Cardinals and the flighty Housemaid, and a Cook of violent Monks, and that Bishop of CLIFTON, (with temper.
fervor.) Tell the man to take 'em away, SCENE.—The Front Parlor, Great Corain this minute, and say I'm surprised at his
Street. The Ex-UNPROTECTED discovered impudence. at her solitary meal. It is raining. I Mary (much impressed by her mistress's
Ec-Unprotected Female (in a damp and exciteinent.) Please M', I said we didn't dreary frame of mind.) How it pours! I want any; and was ordered never to take hope Jones is not out in it. He never will in no papers at the door. put his feet in hot water, on his journeys. Ex-Unprotected Female (horrified.) PaHe says it does him more good to put the pers! Oh !I suppose they're some horrid hot water into his mouth, instead, with a Popish tracts. little brandy and sugar. Uh! I'm sure he's Mary. Pertikly not, when to be called for. getting fond of spirits. (Reverts by a well- Er-Unprotected Female (in bitter appreknown law in the association of ideas, from hension.) Then he's coming back again, is MR. Jones's “ hot with,” to the “cold with he! But you didn't take 'em in? out.") Oh, dear ! how it's raining to be sure.' Mary. Please M', he said it was the law, They say that Crystal Palace is quite full and I must, or we'll all be had up afore the of water—and no wonder, I'm sure; and justices. There's the paper, M'. very glad I am of it. With their Cardinal Ec-Unprotected Female (taking it under a WISEMANS and Gavazzis—a parcel of for- vague impression that CardinAL WISEMAN eigners! And, mercy only knows what has triumphed, and that the Pope's guard revolutions they mayn't bave, when they all are distributing instruments of superstition come over here, and clubs and things. I'm and confessions of faith.) Good Gracious! sure it's dreadful. (A smart knock is heard; (Reads superscription.) “Census of the Popa cross between the rat-tat of the Postinan ulation"-(much relieved.) Oh, you stupid and the rat-a-tat-tat of a visitor.) Oh! what's girl !-why, it's the Census ! that only a knock. But one's so nervous. Mary (doggedly re-inserting the “rs.") Jones shall stay at home all this summer ; | Yes, M', I said it was the Censers. and if he loses his situation I'm not a-going Ex-Unprotected Female. Don't be saucy, to be left alone with the foreigners and Mary; I beg you won't. It's the Census I people-and so I'll tell him. (A colloquy is tell you ; that is—(rather puzzled for a defiheard in the passage.) There's that Marr nition)—it's intended—(catching at the Re. a-gossiping as usual. The baker, I suppose ; gistrar-General's information)" to show or the greengrocer's young man from round the number of the population-their arthe corner, about the firewood.
rangement by ages and families, in different [Enter Mary (the flighty Housemaid) with ranks, professions, employments, and trades;
a Paper in her hand, and some excite | their distribution over the country, in vilment in her manner. Miss Mary is a lages, towns, and cities; their increase and good deal prettier than a housemaid has progress in the last ten years." (Taking
any right to be, even if not flighty. breath.) Yes, that's what it is, MARY (triMary-how often have I told you not to umphantly)--and a very good thing, too. stay gossiping with people at the door! ! Vary (saucily.) I don't see what business
SCENES FROM THE LIFE OF AN (EX) UNPROTECTED FEMALE. 137 any body's got with other people's ages and If I musn't mention Jones because he doesn't families, and such like.
sleep at home that night? “ Other relaEc-Unprotected Female (who has been tions." Goodness! me-how am I to know turning over the document in some bewilder- | all the man's relations—it's a Welsh family, ment with the General Instructions, and Ex- and they're all related to each other there. amples, and Directions.) How dare you (Reads again, in a state bordering on despair.) talk so, you impudent thing! It's the Gov. “Deaf and dumb, or blind; write deaf and ernment.
dumb,' or 'blind,' opposite the name of the Mary (with redoubled sauciness.) If it person." Dear me! There's nobody here was the Queen, M', I don't think she's any deaf and dumb, or blind; so how can 1 business to ask all them questions, M'. write such things, when they say I'm to be
Ex-Unprotected Female. Oh, Mary-how fined £5 if I don't write the truth, and have dare you? Take away the things, do—this to go before the justices, and perhaps be minute.
sent to the station-house, or somewhere-for Mary. Yes, M'.
perjury - And then, there are the servants ! [Takes away the things, and Exit. I do declare I'm afraid to ask that CookEx-Unprotected Female (settling herself she flies out so—and Mary will be giving down seriously to grapple with the Census me some of her impertinence. At all events Paper.) Now, then, let me see. I'm glad I'd better prepare them for it. (Rings the Jones will have to fill it, for it seems rather bell nervously, and resumes her consideration difficult from all these instructions. Eh? of the Papers.) Fifteen places for people's (Reads.) “This paper will be called for on names? I wonder why they put in fifteen, Monday, March 31st, by the appointed offi- and not ten, or twelve, or twenty? And I cer." Oh, dear! then Jones won't be back wonder what they want it all for, the Govin time—and whoever's to fill it up if Jones ernment. I'm sure, except for the Taxes, isn't here? (Reads again.) “ You are re and such bothering things as this, we don't quested to insert the particulars specified on see much of the Government. the other page, respecting all the persons Enter Mary, who bobs defiance. who slept or abode in your house on the Mary. Did you ring, M'? night of March 30th.” That's to-morrow Ex-Unprotected Female. Send up Cookand JONES won't be back for a week! Oh, (MARY is going)—and come yourself—MARY dear, dear, bow provoking!
-I've something very serious to say to you. Let's see. (Reads.) “ Name and Surname Mary (aside.) I s'pose she's agoing to knag -no person absent on the night of March us about somethin' or other, the old 30th to be entered.” Then Jones won't be Re-enter Mary, with Cook, very red in the entered—not entered in his own house !! face, and with a tendency to avail herself (Goes on bitterly.) “ Write after the name of the support of neighboring pieces of of the Head of the Family, the name of his furniture. Wife—” But I ain't to write the name of Ex-Unprotected Female (with mingled the Head of the Family—I thought-because emotion and dignity.) Oh-I've sent for you, he don't sleep here. Oh! why will they ? Mary, and Cook, about this paper. We've They really ought to explain. “ Write the all got to answer the questions the Governname of his Wife"-Martha STRUGGLES is ment asks us in it. my name. “ Children and others of the Cook (laboring under an intense hatred of same surname_” (Pauses, overwhelmed by Centralization.) And what business has the the vision of JONESES that rises before her.) Government a comin' leavin' papers here Oh dear-others bearing the surname of for, I'd like to know? I'd like to catch the Jones—why, there's ten pages of 'em in the Government a coming down the area-steps, Post-Office Directory! What's this column? | I would—or into my kitching. I'd pin a (Reads again.) “Relation to Head of Fam-dish-cloth to the Government's tail, I would. ily." But I haven't to put Head of Family There! (Snorts defiance, and grasps an down at all—if he doesn't sleep here. / armchair in her emotion.) (Reads, in increasing perplexity.) “State Ex-Unprotected Female (with stern dignity.) whether wife, son, daughter, or other rela- Cook, it's awful to hear you use such lantive." Whose wife, I should like to know, guage of the Government. Now, attend to
me, both of you, and answer my questions. ON MY OWN MINIATURE PICTURE. (Takes a pen. To Cook, who radiates defiance and obstructiveness.) Your name is
Taken at two years as age. SARAH SOAKER.
BY SOUTHEY. Cook (with malignant triumph.) No, Mum --it ain't no such thing.
And I was once like this! that glowing cheek Ex-Unprotected Female (alarmed.) Why, Was mine, those pleasure-sparkling eyes ; that that's the name I hired you by.
brow Cook (with diabolical glee.) But it ain't Smooth as the level lake, when not a breeze my name as I was baptized by—and what
Dies o'er the sleeping surface!... Twenty years
Have wrought strange alteration! Of the friends that is, nobody knows, as I don't wish it
Who once so dearly prized this midature, wich it isn't the Government, nor you neither, | And loved it for its likeness, some are gone Ma'am. It's mean in the Government to To their last home; and some, estranged in beart, come prying into families--its shabby in
Beholding me, with quick-dverted glance
Pass on the other side! But still these bues 'em--and they'd better ask how much drip
Remain unalter'd, and these features wear pin' goes into the pantry-perhaps you'll The look of Infancy and Innocence. put that down for 'em.
I search myself in vain, and find no trace Ex-Unprotected Female (in a tone of con- / of what I was : those lightly arching lines
Dark and o'erhanging now; and that sweet face viction.) Sarau Soaker, you're in liquor
Settled in these strong lineaments ... There were don't go to deny it. MARY BRIGGS. Your Who form'd high hopes and flattering ones of thee, condition, if you please? As for that wom Young Robert! for thine eye was quick to speak an's condition, it's Gin-she smells quite Each opening feeling: should they not have known
If the rich rainbow on the morning cloud strong of it. (Examining from paper.)
Reflects its radiant dyes, the husbandman “ Married, Widower, Widow, or Unmar
Beholds the ominous glory, and foresees ried ?” Mary Briggs, I insist on your an Impending storms!... They augur'd happily, swering, or I shall be fined £5.
That thou didst love each wild and wondrous tale Mary Briggs (pursing her lips and flush
Or faery fiction, and thine infant tongue
Lisp'd with delight the godlike deeds of Greece ing.) Shan't then-if it was £50.
And rising Rome; therefore they deem'd, forsooth,
That thou shouldst tread PREFERMENT's pleasant Mary Briggs—if you don't answer the path, question I shall suspect the worst. You
Il-judging ones! they let thy little feet
Stray in the pleasant paths of Poesy, ain't married, Mary Briggs!
And when thou shouldst have press'd amid the Mary Briggs (with all the pride of her
crowd, sex.) Well, M', and if I was, I hope a poor There didst thou love to linger out the day, servant may go and get married.
Loitering beneath the laurel's barren shade. Ex-Unprotected Female (with a horrid Spirit of Spenser! was the wanderer wrong? light breaking in on her.) Goodness gracious! oh dear! That soldier-I do-believe -oh, MARY Briggs—(Mary endeavors to
THE FIRESIDE. bear up, but quails under Mrs. Jones's eye.) But how do I know what's true, and what
BY D. F. MCARTHY. isn't? And how ever is one to fill it up, if ope don't even know one's own servants' I HAVE tasted all life's pleasures, I have snatch'd names and conditions ; And no Head of at all its joys, the Family at home--and obliged to put | The dance's merry measures and the revel's festive
noise; oneself down as a wife, without saying
1016 | Though wit flash'd bright the live-long night, and whose wife, and to put deaf and dumb, or
flowd the ruby tide, blind, after one's name, whether one is or 1 sigh'd for thee, I sigh'd for thee, my own firenot; and to be fined £5, if it isn't true; and
side! to have to tell one's age, and find out other in boybood's dreams I wander'd far, across the females' ages. Oh, dear ! oh dear! I never ocean's breast, shall— I'm sure I shall have to go before the In search of some bright earthly star, some happy Justices!
isle of rest;
| 1 little thought the bliss ( sought in roaming far Mary and Cook triumph in her agony. and wide,
The Curtain falls on her despair. Was sweetly centred all in thee, my own firogide!
How sweet to turn at evening's close from all our in a vision before him, and he recalled the cares away,
solemn moinent, when his father had placed And end in calm, serene repose, the swiftly pass
him at the entrance of two roads, one leading day! The pleasant books, the smiling looks of sister or ing into a peaceful sunny land, covered with of bride,
a fertile harvest, and resounding with soft All fairy ground doth make around one's own fire
sweet songs ; while the other conducted the side!
wanderer into a deep dark cave, whence * My Lord” would never condescend to honor my
there was no issue, where poison flowed poor hearth;
instead of water, and where serpents hissed * His Grace" would scorn a host or friend of mere and crawled. plebeian birth;
He looked towards the sky, and cried out And yet the lords of human kind, whom man has deified,
in his agony :-"0 youth return! O my For ever meet in converse sweet around my fire- father, place me once more at the entrance side!
to life, that I may choose the better way !".
But the days of his youth, and his father The poet sings his deathless songs, the sage his had both passed away. He saw wandering
lore repeats, The patriot tells his country's wrongs, the chief
lights floating far away over dark marshes,
guts noating far away over uurk mar his warlike feats:
and then disappear-these were the days of Though far away may be their clay, and gone their his wasted life. He saw a star fall from earthly pride,
heaven and vanish in darkness. This was Each godlike mind in books enshrined still haunts
an emblem of himself; and the sharp arrows my fireside.
of unavailing remorse struck home to his Oh! let me glance a moment through the coming heart. Then he remembered his early comcrowd of years,
panions, who entered on life with him, but Their triumphs or their failures, their sunshine or
who, having trod the paths of virtue and of their tears, How poor or great may be my fate, I care not what
labor, were now happy and honored on this betide,
New Year's night. The clock in the high So peace and love but hallow thee, my own fire- church tower struck, and the sound, falling side!
on his ear, recalled his parents' early love Still let me hold the vision close, and closer to my
for him, their erring son; the lessons they sight;
had taught him ; the prayers they had ofStill, still in hopes elysian, let my spirit wing its fered up on his behalf. Overwhelmed with flight;
shame and grief, he dared no longer look Still let me dream, life's shadowy stream may
towards that heaven where his father dwelt; yield from out its tide, A mind at rest, a tranquil breast, a quiet fireside!
his darkened eyes dropped tears, and with one despairing effort he cried aloud, " Come back, my early days ! come back !"
And his youth did return; for all this From Dickens "Household Words,
was but a dream which visited his slumbers THE TWO ROADS.
on New Year's night. He was still young ;
his faults alone were real. He thanked It was New Year's night. An aged man God fervently that time was still his own, was standing at a window. He raised his that he had not yet entered the deep, dark mournful eyes towards the deep blue sky, cavern, but that he was free to tread the where the stars were floating like white road leading to the peaceful land, where lilies on the surface of a clear calm lake. sunny harvests wave. Then he cast them on the earth, where few Ye who still linger on the threshold of more hopeless beings than himself now life, doubting which path to choose, rememmoved towards their certain goal—the tomb. ber that when years are passed, and your Already he had passed sixty of the stages feet stumble on the dark mountain, you will which lead to it, and he had brought from cry bitterly, but cry in vain—“O youth, his journey nothing but errors and remorse. return! O give me back my early days !" His health was destroyed, his mind vacant, his heart sorrowful, and his old age devoid As humility regulates the interior, so modof comfort. The days of his youth rose up esty disciplines the exterior.