Изображения страниц
PDF
EPUB
[blocks in formation]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small]
[ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors][ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][ocr errors][merged small]
[merged small][merged small][ocr errors]
[ocr errors][merged small]
[merged small][merged small][graphic][subsumed][subsumed][subsumed][subsumed][subsumed][ocr errors][subsumed][subsumed][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small]

Then fill, all ye Happy and Free, unto whom

The past Year has been pleasant and sunny;
Its months each as sweet as if made of the bloom
Of the thyme whence the bee gathers honey-

Days usher'd by dew-drops, instead of the tears,
Maybe, wrung from some wretcheder cousin—
Then fill, and with gratitude join in the cheers
That triumphantly hail a fresh dozen!

Hip! Hip! and Hurrah!

And ye, who have met with Adversity's blast,

And been bow'd to the earth by its fury;

To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently pass'd,
Were as harsh as a prejudiced jury,—

Still, fill to the Future! and join in our chime,

The regrets of remembrance to cozen,

And having obtained a New Trial of Time,

Shout, in hopes of a kindlier dozen !

Hip! Hip! and Hurrah!

THE SCHOOL FOR HORSE-PLAY.

BY JOHN POOLE, ESQ.

Ils se disaient ên face des choses insultantes, qu'ils croyaient des traits d'esprit. VOLTAIRE: BALBOUC.

I HAVE lately had the good fortune to be admitted as a member of one of the pleasantest societies in London. This society is called "The School for Horse-play;" the number of its members is limited to twenty, and it holds its meetings, which are weekly, on the Monday night, at the sign of the Hog and Hop-sack in Chancery-lane. The School for Horse-play, when it was first instituted, met on the Saturday; but as that evening was found to be inconvenient to more than one of its most agreeable and efficient members, amongst whom were Dapper, a copying-clerk in an attorney's office in the neighbourhood, and Roughshod, head shopman to Balls, the pawnbroker, who were occupied in their several callings later on that than on any other; it was, in order to accommodate them, subsequently changed to Monday.

Now, let it not, from the name of our society, be inferred that we are a set of practical jokers in the commonly received sense of that term that our wit consists in drawing one's neighbour's chair from beneath him as he is about to sit down; or in blacking his nose should he chance to fall asleep; or in treading heavily upon his toes every now and then, as if by accident, and each time gravely asking his pardon: all these, and the like expedients for exciting merriment, we disdain; and if amongst us recourse is ever had to them, it is occasionally by our

Butts, who are incapable of anything better. No; our horse-play is of a rather more intellectual character: it is chiefly of the kind meant by Dryden, when he speaks of "horse-play raillery:" and is so accurately described by Voltaire in the short sentence which I have quoted from him, that one might almost believe that he wrote it prophetically of our "School for Horse-play."

The School for Horse-play is divided into two classes; namely, the Wits, and the Butts. The number of the latter class is variable, as, upon his first admission, every member is placed therein, and therein is he retained until, by his proficiency in bandying impertinences, he shall have proved himself qualified to take rank along with the Wits. When he is considered to have merited this enviable distinction, he is led by the Vice-president, to the President, who invests him with his rank of Wit by throwing across his shoulder, scarf-wise, a coarse jack-towel, which is intended as emblematic of the style of our pleasantries.

But since it is an unavoidable rule of the society that there shall always be at least two Butts of the number; and as it might by possibility happen that some happy genius, endowed with a more than ordinary share of hardy impertinence, might achieve his admission amongst the Wits at his very first introduction, and escape from the other class altogether, the society would be in danger of expiring from the want of those indispensable adjuncts. Now to guard against such a calamity, it is wisely provided that there shall be two standing Butts, Butts in perpetuity; and these at present are a couple of dull, senseless old fellows, who, in unconscious stupidity, submit without resistance to the attacks of their wittier and more highly-gifted companions.

From what I have said, it will at once be understood that our amusement consists in an interchange between the Wits of rudenesses, gross impertinences, and remarks and expressions all more or less calculated to inflict pain-in proportion to which, indeed, is always the degree of laughter produced in the play-off of the Wits upon the helpless imbecility of the two established Butts; and occasionally in setting those dull rogues one against the other. In short, the verbal pleasantries we are in the habit of reciprocating, are precisely of that character which, in what is mawkishly termed well-bred society, would subject the utterer to the punishment usually awarded for a breach of good manners and decorum, according to its degree.

But as no general description can convey to the mind of any one who has not enjoyed the advantage of passing an evening in our company a satisfactory idea of the tone or the style of our pleasantries; I will give an example or two, both of the sharp encounter of our Wits, and of the entertainment, which with such admirable ingenuity, they contrive to elicit even from the very dulness and stupidity of the Butts. All this, however, will be the better understood, and the more truly appreciated, if I first state of what materials our "School" is composed.

Our two members most conspicuous for that species of wit and humour requisite for the formation of a perfect horse-player are those I have already named-Dapper and Roughshod; and so nearly are their excellences balanced, that it would be difficult indeed to decide to which of them ought to be awarded the palm of superiority. But if I, a new and humble member of the school, might venture to deter

mine between them, I should give my voice in favour of the former; for, in the course of one evening, I have had the gratification of hearing him bestow upon all present so much larger a quantity of horse-play raillery than his eminent rival, as (anywhere but at the Hog and Hopsack) would justly entitle him to the distinction of having his nose tweaked by so much oftener than the other as one time in ten.

Of the rest of the members, most are, like myself, of the same calling as my illustrious friend Dapper, or are clerks of not the highest grade in certain of the public offices; excepting our Butts, Addlepate, and Dunderpate (the younger of whom is sixty-five), who are retired tradesmen living in chambers in Lyon's Inn, and Mr. Courtly, a young barrister of the Inner Temple. I am hardly justified, however, in numbering the last named as a member, for he made his first appearance among us at our last meeting, and took his final leave of us (I am happy to say) before the conclusion of the evening.

As upon the occasion of the admission of a new member our prime Wits, Roughshod and Dapper, exerted their powers to the utmost, I cannot do better, towards the fulfilment of my promise to give some notion of the tone and style of our pleasantries, than select from the abundance of their brilliant sallies a few choice specimens.

Mr. Courtly, a young gentleman highly educated; of considerable promise in his profession; and of manners refined, but without the slightest taint of formality, took his seat. Scarcely had he done so when he was thus addressed by our President, Dapper. “I believe Mr.—Mr.- What's your name, pray, sir?"

66

My name, sir, is Courtly," was the reply.

"I believe, Mr. Portly, you-" continued Dapper.

Here he was interrupted by Roughshod, the Vice, who said,

"Why, Dappy, though I always knew you to be stupid, I had no notion you were deaf. The new member said distinctly enough his name is Sportly."

Hereupon, without allowing time to reply, Mr. Courtly's health was drunk by each member in succession, each addressing him by a different name, as Fortly, Mortly, Wortly, and so on. This joke, though worn threadbare by use in at least a dozen farces, told admirably, setting the whole table in a roar, to the confusion if not discomfort of the new member.

But what presently followed was in the very best style of Roughshod, who was admirably seconded by Dapper. Perceiving that Mr. Courtly had a slight cast in one of his eyes, the former said,—

"I think you spoke to me Mr. Snortly—at least I think I caught your eye."

Here the laugh was deservedly loud and long.

"Which eye do you mean?" said Dapper; "don't you perceive that Mr. Dortly has two; and they are not what you would call dupli

[merged small][ocr errors]

This double hit at Courtly and the Vice, produced a laugh longer and louder than the former.

66

"You'll find those eyes of yours very useful in your profession," said Dapper, 'They will enable you to hold briefs on both sides of a cause, for you may have one eye looking to the interests of the plaintiff and the other to the defendant's."

« ПредыдущаяПродолжить »