Arch. No, madam, my constant drink is tea, or a little wine and water; 'tis prescribed me by the physician, for a remedy against the spleen

Scrub. O la! O la!-A footman have the spleen! Mrs. Sul. I thought that distemper had been only proper to people of quality.

Arch. Madam, like all other fashions, it wears out, and so descends to their servants; though in a great many of us, I believe it proceeds from some melancholy particles in the blood, occasioned by the stagnation of wages.

Dor How affectedly the fellow talks-How long, pray, have you served your present master?

Arch. Not long; my life has been mostly spent in the service of the ladies.

Mrs. Sul. And pray, which service do you like

best?

Arch. Madam, the ladies pay best; the honour of serving them is sufficient wages; there is a charm in their looks, that delivers a pleasure with their commands, and gives our duty the wings of inclination.

Mrs. Sul. That flight was above the pitch of a livery; and, sir, would not you be satisfied to serve a lady again?

Arch. As groom of the chambers, madam, but not .as a footman,

Mrs. Sul. I suppose you served as footman before?

Arch. For that reason I would not serve in that post again; for my memory is too weak for the load of messages that the ladies lay upon their servants in London my Lady Howd'ye, the last mistress I served, called me up one morning and told me, Martin, go to my Lady Allnight, with my humble service; tell her, I was to wait on her ladyship yesterday, and left word with Mrs. Rebecca, that the preliminaries of the affair she knows of, are stopped tiil we know the concurrence of the person that I know of; for which

there are circumstances wanting which we shall accommodate at the old place; but that in the mean time there is a person about her ladyship, that, from several hints and surmises, was accessary at a certain time to the disappointments that naturally attend things, that to her knowledge are of more importance

Mrs. Sul.
Dor.

}

Ha ha! where are you going, sir?

Arch. Why, I han't half done-The whole howd'ye was about half an hour long; so I happened to misplace two syllables, and was turned off, and rendered incapable

I

Dor. The pleasantest fellow, sister, I ever saw. But, friend, if your master be married,— you still serve a lady.

presume

Arch. No, madam, I take care never to come into a married family; the commands of the master and mistress are always so contrary, that'tis impossible to please both.

Dor. There's a main point gained-My lord is not married, I find.

[Aside. Mrs. Sul. But I wonder, friend, that in so many good services, you had not a better provision made for you.

Arch. I don't know how, madam- -I am very well as I am—

Mrs. Sul. Something for a pair of gloves. [Offering him Money. Arch. I humbly beg leave to be excused; my master, madam, pays me, nor dare I take money from any other hand, without injuring his honour, and disobeying his commands.

Scrub. Brother Martin, brother Martin.
Arch. What do you say, brother Scrub?
Scrub. Take the money, and give it to me.

[Exeunt ARCHER and SCRUB. Dor. This is surprising: did you ever see so pretty

a well-bred fellow ?

་

Mrs. Sul. The devil take him, for wearing that livery.

Dor. I fancy, sister, he may be some gentleman, a friend of my lord's, that his lordship has pitched upon for his courage, fidelity, and discretion, to bear him company in this dress, and who, ten to one, was his second.

Mrs. Sul. It is so, it must be so, and it shall be so -for I like him.

Dor. What! better than the count?

Mrs. Sul. The count happened to be the most agreeable man upon the place; and so I chose him to serve me in my design upon my husband-But I should like this fellow better in a design upon myself.

Dor. But now, sister, for an interview with this lord and this gentleman; how shall we bring that about?

Mrs. Sul. Patience! you country ladies give no quarter. Lookye, Dorinda, if my Lord Aimwell loves you or deserves you, he'll find a way to see you, and there we must leave it—My business comes now upon the tapis,--Have you prepared your brother?

Dor. Yes, yes.

Mrs. Sul. And how did he relish it?

Dor. He said little, mumbled something to himself, and promised to be guided by me: but here he

comes.

Enter SULLEN.

Sul. What singing was that I heard just now? Mrs. Sul. The singing in your head, my dear, you complained of it all day.

Sul. You're impertinent.

Mrs. Sul. I was ever so, since I became one flesh with you.

Sul. One flesh! rather two carcases joined unnaturally together.

Mrs. Sul. Or rather a living soul coupled to a dead body.

Dor. So, this is fine encouragement for me!

Sul. Yes, my wife shows you what you must do! Mrs. Sul. And my husband shows you what you must suffer.

Sul. 'Sdeath, why can't you be silent?
Mrs. Sul. 'Sdeath, why can't you talk?
Sul. Do you talk to any purpose?

Mrs. Sul. Do you think to any purpose?
Sul. Sister, harkye-[Whispers.] I shan't be home

till it be late.

Mrs. Sul. What did he whisper to ye?

[Exit.

Dor. That he would go round the back way, come into the closet, and listen, as I directed him.-But let me beg once more, dear sister, to drop this project; for, as I told you before, instead of awaking. him to kindness, you may provoke him to rage; and then who knows how far his brutality may carry him? Mrs. Sul. I'm provided to receive him, I warrant you; away! [Exeunt.

ACT THE FOURTH.

SCENE I.

A Gallery in LADY BOUNTIFUL's House.

Enter LADY BOUNTIFUL and MRS. SULLEN, DoRINDA meeting them.

Dor. News, dear sister, news, news !

1

Enter ARCHER, running.

Arch. Where, where is my Lady Bountiful?-
Pray which is the old lady of you three?

Lady B. I am.

Arch. O madam, the fame of your ladyship's charity, goodness, benevolence, skill, and ability, have drawn me hither, to implore your ladyship's help in behalf of my unfortunate master, who is at this moment breathing his last.

Lady B. Your master! where is he?

Arch. At your gate, madam: drawn by the appearance of your handsome house, to view it nearer, and walking up the avenue, within five paces of the courtyard, he was taken ill of a sudden, with a sort of I know not what: but down he fell, and there he lies. Lady B. Here, Scrub, Gipsey.

Enter SCRUB and GIPSEY.

All run, get my easy-chair down stairs, put the gen" tleman in it, and bring him in quickly, quickly.

Arch. Heaven will reward your ladyship for this charitable act.

Lady B. Is your master used to these fits?

Arch. O yes, madam, frequently-I have known. him have five or six of a night.

Lady B. What's his name?

Arch. Lord, madam, he's dying; a minute's care or neglect, may save or destroy his life.

Lady B. Ah, poor gentleman! come, friend, show me the way; I'll him brought in myself.

see

[Exit with ARcher. Dor. Oh, sister, my heart flutters about strangely; I can hardly forbear running to his assistance.

Mrs. Sul. And I'll lay my life he deserves your assistance more than he wants it: did not I tell you that my lord would find a way to come at you?