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thing, but I'll reward thy love, and recompense thy noble passion.
Colonel S. Sir Harry, ha! ha! ha! Poor Sir Harry, ha! ha! ha! Rather kiss her hand than the Pope's toe; ha! ha! ha!
Lady L. What, Sir Harry, colonel? What, Sir Harry?
Colonel S. Sir Harry Wildair, madam.
Colonel S. Ay, and he told me but I don't be. lieve a syllable on't
Lady L. What did he tell you?
Colonel S. Only called you his mistress; and, pretending to be extravagant in your commendation, would vainly insinuate the praise of his own judgment and good fortune in a choice.
Lady L. How easily is the vanity of fops tickled by our sex!
Colonel S. Why, your sex is the vanity of fops.
Lady L. On my conscience, I believe so. This gentleman, because he danced well, i pitched on for a partner at a*ball in Paris, and ever since he has so persecuted me with letters, songs, dances, serenading, flattery, foppery, and noise, that I was forced to fly the kingdom.- -And I warrant you he made you jealous ?
Colonel S. 'Faith, madam, I was a little uneasy.
Lady L. You shall have a plentiful revenge; I'N send him back all his foolish letters, songs, and verses, and you yourself shall carry them: 'twill afford you opportunity of triumphing, and free me from his further impertinence; for of all men he's my aversion, I'll run and fetch them instantly.
Colonel S. Dear madam, a rare project! Now shall I bait him, like Actæon, with his own dogs.Mrs Parly, it is ordered by act
of parliament, that you receive no more pieces, Mrs Parly.
Parly. 'Tis provided by the same act, that you
-Well, send no more messages by me, good colonel : you must not presume to send any more letters, unless you can pay the postage.
Colonel S. Come, come, don't be mercenary; take example by your lady, be honourable.
Parly. A-lack-a-day, sir, it shows as ridiculous and haughty for us to imitate our betters in their lionour, as in their finery; leave honour to nobility that can support it: we poor folks, colonel, have no pretence to it; and truly, I think, sir, that your
honour should be cashiered with your leading-staff.
Colonel S. 'Tis one of the greatest curses of poverty to be the jest of chambermaids !
Enter LUREWELL. Lady L. Here's the packet, colonel ; the whole magazine of love's artillery, [Gives him the packet.
Colonel S. Which, since I have gained, I will turn upon
the enemy. Madam, I'll bring you the news of my victory this evening. Poor Sir Harry, ha! ha! ha!
(Exit. Lady L. To the right about; as you were; march, colonel. · Ha! ha! ha!
Vain man, who boasts of studied parts and wiles !
Exeunt. ACT THE SECOND.
CLINCHER JUNIOR's Lodgings.
I am your
Enter CLINCHER JUNIOR, opening a Letter ; SER
VANT following Clinch. jun. (Reads.] Dear Brother-I will see you presently : I have sent this lad to wait on you ; he instruct
you in the fashions of the town. affectionate brother,
CLINCHER. Very well; and what's your name, sir?
Dicky. My name is Dicky, sir.
Clinch. jun. Very well; a pretty name! And what can you do, Mr Dicky?
Dicky. Why, sir, I can powder a wig, and pick up a whore.
Clinch. jun. Oh, lord! Oh, lord! a whore! Why, are there many in this town?
Dicky. Ha! ha! ha! many! there's a question, indeed in -Hark ye, sir ; do you see that woman there, in the pink cloak and white feathers ?
Clinch.jun. Ay, sir! what then ? Dicky. Why, she shall be at your service in three minutes, as I'm a pimp
Clinch. jun. Oh, Jupiter Ammon! Why, she's a gentlewoman.
Dicky. A gentlewoman! Why, so they are all in town, sir,
Enter CLINCHER SENIOR,
Clinch. jun. I thought, brother, you owed so much to the memory of my father, as to wear mourning for his death.
Clinch. sen. Why, so I do, fool; I wear this, because I have the estate; and you wear that, because you
have not the estate. You have cause to mourn, indeed, brother. Well, brother, I'm glad to see you; fare you well.
[Going. Clinch. jun. Stay, stay, brother.Where are you going?
Clinch. sen. How natural 'tis for a country booby to ask impertinent questions !--Hark ye, sir; is not my father dead?
Clinch, jun. Ay, ay, to my sorrow,
Clinch. sen. No matter for that, he's dead; and am not I a young, powdered, extravagant, English heir ?
Clinch jun. Very right, sir.
Clinch. sen. Why then, sir, you may be sure that I am going to the jubilee, sir.
Clinch. jun. Jubilee! What's that?
Clinch. sen. Jubilee! Why, the jubilee is-Faith I don't know what it is.
Dicky. Why, the jubilee is the same thing as our Lord Mayor's day in the city; there will be pageants, and squibs, and raree-shows, and all that, sir.
Clinch. jun. And must you go so soon, brother?
Clinch sen. Yes, sir; for I must stay a month at Amsterdam, to study poetry.
Clinch. jun. Then I suppose, brother, you travel through Muscovy, to learn fashions ; don't you, brother?
Clinch. sen. Brother! Pr'ythee, Robin, don't call me brother; sir will do every jot as well.
Clinch. jun. Oh, Jupiter Ammon! why so ?
Clinch. sen. Because people will imagine you have a spite at me...but have you seen your cousin Angelica yet, and her mother, the Lady Darling?
Clinch. jun. No; my dancing-masier has not been with me yet. How shai! I salute them, brother? Clinch. sen. Pshaw! that's
'tis only two scrapes, a kiss, and your humble servant. I'll tell you more when I come from the jubilee. Come along.
LADY DARLING'S House.
Enter Sir H. WILDAIR with a Letter.
Sir H. Like light and heat, incorporate we lay;
We bless'd the night, and cursed the coming day. Well, if this paper kite flies sure,
I’m secure of my game-Humph!--the pretiest bourdel I have seen; a very stately genteel one
FOOTMEN cross the Stage. Hey-day ! equipage toy ;-'Sdeath, I'm afraid I've mistaken the house!
Enter LADY DARLING.
Lady D. Your business, pray, sir?
Sir H. This letter, madam, will inform you farther. Mr Vizard sent it, with his humile service to your ladyship.
Lady. D. How does my cousin, sir?