called snow-ball, a vulgar name for the guelder rose, is allowed as a substitute.

English reign'd,

And stoutly won, strongly kept, what so he had obtained,

sea,

The hint given to Thales, the Milesian philosopher, was a powerful one, and well intended, though roughly executed. A girl of dubious character, seeing him gazing at the heavens as he walked along, and perhaps piqued at his not casting an eye at her attractions, put a stool in his path, over which he stumbled and broke his shins. The excuse she made was, that she meant to teach him to look at home before he indulged himself in stargazing.

EPITAPH ON WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR. This curious relic of history was found by the Bishop of Bayeux, in the tomb of William the Conqueror, in the Abbey of St. Stephen, at Caen in Normandy, where

And did the swords of those of Mains by force bring under awe,

And made them under his command, live subject to his law;

This great King William lieth here, entombed in a little grave,

So great a Lord, so small a house sufficeth him to have; When Phoebus in the virgin's lap, his circled course apply'd,

And

twenty-three degrees had past, even at that time he died.

THICK SKULLS.

OVIEDO, in his General History of the Indies, observes that "Indian sculls are four times as thick as other men's, so that coming to handy strokes with them, it shall be requisite not to strike them on the head with swords, for many have been broken on their heads with little hurt done." Dr. Bulmer observes, from Purchas, "that blockheads and loggerheads are in request in Brazil, and helmets are of little use, every one having a natural morion of his head; for as to the Brazilians' heads, some of them are as hard as the wood that grows in the country, that they cannot be broken." Stowe, in his Survey of London, speaks of the scull of a man above three-quarters of an inch thick, found at St. Catharine's Cree church.

FOOTE THE MIMIC.

This witty character, at times, spared neither friend nor foe. He had little regard for the feelings of others; if he thought of a witty thing that would create laughter, he said it. He had never availed himself of the good advice given him by Henry the Fifth to Falstaff, Reply not to me with a fool-born jest ;" and of this there is an example extant. If Foote ever had a serious regard for any one, it was for Holland; yet at his death, or rather indeed after his funeral, he violated all decency concerning him. Holland was the son of a baker at Hampton, and on the stage was a close imitator of Garrick, who had such a respect for him, that he played the Ghost to his

Hamlet merely to serve him at his benefit. Holland died rather young, and Foote attended as one of the mourners. He was really grieved, and although his eyes were much swollen with tears, when a friend said to him afterwards, "So, Foote, you have just attended the funeral of our dear friend Holland ;"Foote instantly replied, "Yes, we have just shoved the little baker into his oven."

PROOF OF INSANITY.

In a cause once tried at the Derby assizes, respecting the validity of a will, evidence was adduced to prove the testator (an apothecary's wife,) a lunatic; and, among many other things, it was deposed that she had swept away a quantity of pots, phials, lotions, potions, pills, boluses, and clyster-pipes, into the street, as rubbish. "I doubt," said the learned judge, "whether sweeping physic into the street "True, my any proof of insanity."lord," replied the counsel; "but sweeping the pots and clister-pipes away, certainly was.'

be

"

GIBBON THE HISTORIAN

Being seated in an elegant apartment, quaffing Noyeau, and talking infidelity, was cautioned as to the danger which such doctrines might bring upon society. "Sir," said the historian," the doctrines we are now discussing, are not unlike the liquor we are drinking ;-safe, pleasant, and exhilarating to you and I, that know how to use, without abusing them; but dangerous, deleterious, and intoxicating, if either were broached in the open streets, and exposed to the discretion of

BISHOP HURD AND LORD MANSFIELD. When Bishop Hurd had been appointed preceptor to the Prince of Wales, he presented his coadjutor, Mr. Arnald, with high encomium to Lord Mansfield, but his Lordship was so displeased with the flattery that was so freely offered to, and accepted by the Bishop, that he said in his own sarcastic manner to a nobleman afterwards who had been a witness to it, "I am sorry that my friend Hurd's nostrils should require such gross incense."

DR. PERCY AND MR. GARRICK.

Dr. Percy, who was on intimate terms with this great actor, wrote to him for an admission to his theatre. Mr. Garrick had then adopted a rule, never to receive either note or letter in his dressing-room, when he was just ready to appear upon the stage, and this slight circumstance caused a lasting quarrel between the two former friends. Great pains were taken to effect a reconciliation between them, but Dr. Percy always most indignantly replied,"that he had put it once into Mr. Garrick's power to have obliged him, but as he had chosen to neglect it, he should not give him a second opportunity."

DR. JENNER'S EPITAPH.

The following epitaph was engraved on the tomb of Dr. Jenner, whose remains are interred in the chancel of the parish church of Berkeley, in Gloucestershire.

Within this tomb hath found a resting place,
Immortal Jenner! whose gigantic mind
The great physician of the human race-
Brought life and health to more than half

mankind.

Let rescued infancy his worth proclaim,
And lisp out blessings on his honour'd name;
And radiant beauty drop her saddest tear,
For Beauty's truest, trustiest friend lies here !

LORD NELSON'S NIGHT-CAP. Dr. Burney, who wrote the celebrated anagram on Lord Nelson, after his victory of the Nile," Honor est a Nilo." (Horatio Nelson,) was shortly after on a visit to his Lordship, at his beautiful villa at Merton. From his usual absence of mind, he forgot to put a night-cap into his portmanteau, and, consequently, borrowed one from his Lordship. Previously to his retiring to rest, he sat down to study, as was his common practice, and was shortly after alarmed by finding the cap in flames. He immediately collected the burnt remains, and returned them to his Lordship with the following lines :

"Take your night-cap again, my good Lord, I desire,

I would not detain it a minute; What belongs to a Nelson, wherever there's fire,

Is sure to be instantly in it."

DATE. DAYS.

DIARY.

DATE.

CORRESPONDING CHRONOLOGY.

Jan. 23. This saint was born, in 1175, at the Castle of Pegnafort in Catalonia: so fond was he of his religious profession, that he changed the edifice in which he was born into a convent of the order of St. Dominick. His death happened A.D. 1275. 1570.-On this day, James, Earl of Murray, Regent of Scotland, during the minority of James VI. was deliberately shot at Linlithgow by Hamilton of Bothwellhaugh, in revenge, it is supposed, for having.debauched his wife.

24 St. Timothy was a disciple of St. Paul, by whom he was made Bishop of Ephesus, A.D. 64. This saint was stoned to death in the year 97, by order of the Emperor Nero.

70.-Born at Rome on this day the Emperor Adrian. This illustrious Roman, when visiting Britain, caused a wall to be built, extending from the Frith of Forth to the river Tyne. He died in his 62nd year, A.D. 139. On his death-bed he composed his celebrated address to his departing soul. 25 This saint was beheaded at Rome A. D. 66. by order of his persecutor the infamous Nero. The festival of the conversion was instituted very early. Pope Innocent III. ordered it to be kept as an holiday of obligation. In England mention is made of its being a solemn festival in the time of Henry III. 1759.-Born on this day, near Ayr, the admired poet of nature, Robert Burns. This talented individual, like the great Shakspeare, has rendered immortal, by his verse, the banks of the river which watered his native place. His labours have gained him posthumous renown, though during his life he experienced the most chilling neglect. 26 St. Polycarp was Bishop of Smyrna; he suffered for his religion A, D. 166.

1815.-On this day the ex-Emperor Napoleon escaped from Elba, and landed in France. 27 This saint was Archbishop of Constantinople a n. 407, at which place he died in 409. His eloquence obtained him the surname of Chrysostom or Goldenmouth: he was one of the most strenuous defenders that the Catholic Church had in the 4th century.

1773.-Born on this day H. R. H. the D. of Sussex. 28 This saint was the daughter of Bala IV. King of Hungary. She died A. D. 1271; her relics are still preserved at Presburg. 1596-On this day died on board of his own ship, near Nombre De Dios, Sir Francis Drake, our first circumnavigator. Fuller observes of him, that "he lived by the sea, died on it, and was buried in it."

29

St. Sulpicius was a disciple of St. Martin; he died
A D. 426

1820.-This day died our greatly revered Monarch
Geo. III. ET. 81. The reign of this Sovereign
was the longest of any that ever held sway in
England, and the most pregnant with great
events.

Accession of his present Majesty Geo. IV. 30 This saint, who was a Roman Virgin of noble origin, was beheaded for her faith, after having been tortured by command of the Emperor Alexander IV. A. D. 228.

1649.-Anniversary of the beheading of Charles I. This Monarch's downfall is ascribed to his sinister and illiberal conduct towards his opponents. 31 This saint was born at Languedoc. He died A. D. 1258. Saint Peter was the founder of the order of our Lady of Mercy, the founding of this order is stated to have been occasioned by the Virgin Mary's appearing to him in a vision. 1820.-On this day the proclaiming of Geo. IV King of England took place,

See page 69.

TALKERS.

THERE are as many varieties of Talkers as there are of tulips: to classify them would require the nice discernment and patient perseverance of an ethical Linnæus; and when done, it would be an useless classification, unless, indeed,Taste could be brought to have a love for the cultivation of them, with an ulterior view to the improvement of the several classes, by marrying a common female scold of the last class with a refined male babbler of the first and thus effect by artificial means what Wisdom, with all her old endeavours, could never work by any means,-an improvement of Talkers generally.

There is, however, a pleasure in holding up a few of the first classes of Talkers to notice, similar to that, perhaps, which a tulip-fancier feels, when he displays to the wondering eyes of one not in the fancy, (who had perceived, on being shewn a bed of them, that they were all tulips,

VOL, I.

F

but did not discern the nicer streaks of difference between them,)

some faultless tulip which the Dutch ne'er saw.

The most common class of talkers is composed of Babblers. There are several varieties of these; but the most disagreeable is the Long-tongued Babbler. One of them is sufficient to set a whole village at war, or disturb the peace and sacredness of virtuous privacy. Rather than be silent, he will wound his dearest friend with a tongue, which, like Laertes' foil, poisons where it touches-and even him who uses it. From this sort of talker you learn the origin of Miss A's finery, and Miss B's faux pas; the rise of Mr. C's wealth, and the state of Mr. D's embarrassment, &c.

If you have doubts of the character of Browne, he hesitates at a fault-hemshints at a second-hems again, and out comes a third. If you think well of White, he damns him with faint praise,'

recollects to have heard something whispered not entirely redounding to his honour;-not that he believes it-idle rumours are not gospel truths: and then he

5-SATURDAY, FEB. 9, 1828.

9

tells you what Thompson thought, but never said, and what Dixon said, but never thought, of poor W. He publishes a mischievous piece of truth or scandal (either answers the purpose of the day) in the morning, and follows the sound of his own rumour as a weather-mutton follows his own bell. Gifted with the interfering spirit of Marplot, he gets the wages of Marall for his labours,-cuffs and contempt. The Babbler is commonly an unhappy person, for he has meddled too much with the happiness of others to be happy himself; and having made it the sole business of his life to betray some hurtful truth, or harmless ill of all, no one thinks it absolutely necessary to speak well of him, either in epitaph or elegy.

Another variety is the Dullor Harmless Babbler. This is a talker in his turn and out of his turn-in season and out of season; and yet has nothing to communicate. Yes you may learn from him that it rained yesterday; and that it is not impossible that it may rain to-day. He is Francis Moore's counter-prophet: the one foretells when showers will fall--the other registers their descent.

The next in succession are the Smalltalkers. These are tea-table appendages who sometimes hang by the sinister bend of ladies' elbows; and are usually prim, puss-gentlemen,' all prettiness and pettiness. Ceaseless tonguers of words of no tone,' they lisp, or cultivate some delicate mispronunciation of one of the four-and-twenty letters, or of a few wellselected syllables. They have a chicken's perseverance in picking up the smallest grain or chaff of tea-table intelligence, and are not greedy in keeping it to themselves. -no,-you may have their second-hand nothings at less than they cost. Their intelligence is a stewed frog in an Ontarie of broth-as one dew-drop in the desert of Arabia,-or as an inaccessible island in a sea of three months' sail; you may steer round it, and by it, and never touch the land: it is a Thule beyond the Ultima Thule of mental navigation, and lies beyond the reach of any intellectual Cook or Vancouver: you think you descry it in the offing, and tacking, hope to drift on its shore; but when you really see it under your bow, you may coast round it, and cast out your grapple-an